Chapter 13
Nico
I should have just got up and left.
The sex was done, I was satisfied and I was sure my body wouldn’t crave for Kennedy for at least another few hours. That would give me enough time to make it back to my place in one piece.
Instead, when Kennedy moved from underneath me, I rolled over and then kept lying on her floor.
Things were supposed to be casual between us, just about the sex. But I asked her if she had more of that whisky.
Kennedy nodded her head and smiled weakly. I watched as she stood up and walked to the kitchen. I couldn’t get enough of her nakedness. Of how beautiful she looked without any clothes on. Just as gorgeous as she looked wearing them.
I sat up and ran a hand through my ruffled damp hair. My body was still recovering from the sweaty sex.
She returned with the bottle this time and sat down cross-legged in front of me. I took the bottle from her and drank some of the whisky. She took it from me and drank some too.
“That was a great show. We should go to the opera more often!” she exclaimed. There was a laugh dancing on her lips and I stared at her.
I couldn’t help but laugh. She made me smile. She made me want to smile all the time and in that moment, I’d forgotten about everything that was going wrong with my life.
“Sorry about that. I guess you wanted to watch the performance,” I told her as she handed the bottle back to me.
“It’s okay, I guess we can go again,” she shrugged her shoulders.
The moment the words left her mouth, her cheeks turned red. She looked away from me, embarrassedly.
“I didn’t mean you should ask me out again. I mean, you don’t have to. I know we’re not technically dating,” she corrected herself quickly.
I watched her in silence for a few moments. Kennedy was refusing to meet my eyes. I could sense that she regretted saying it. She didn’t want me to think that she wanted more than just sex.
It should have annoyed me.
She’d agreed to this. I’d warned her already that I couldn’t give her more.
However, for some reason, it didn’t annoy me. Instead, I nodded my head and smiled at her.
“No, I think you’re right. Maybe we can go some other time. I’ll keep an eye out for some good shows,” I replied.
Kennedy looked up at me and our gazes locked. In her green eyes was a hopeful look. What was she hoping for? That maybe I could give her what she really wanted? Not just what she was pretending to want?
I stood up from the floor and walked over to her couch and crashed down.
“Anything interesting on TV?” I asked, picking up the remote control that was lying next to me. Kennedy was smiling now, she was still sitting on the floor but there was a look of surprise in her eyes. She wasn’t expecting me to stay.
***
I’d spent the night at Kennedy’s apartment. We’d gone to sleep on the couch, watching some old film on TV. I’d woken up with my arms tightly wound around her and her head on my chest.
In the morning, she was in a rush to get to work and I left before breakfast. My mind was all jumbled up. I was confused about everything that was happening. I wasn’t supposed to be spending this much time with her. I definitely wasn’t supposed to be falling asleep on the couch with her either.
I drove back to my apartment to shower and change. When I checked my phone there were several missed calls from my father. He needed to me to make an appearance at the job site we were working on.
Things had been excessively cold between us in the past few days. Unless we talked it out, I could sense things only getting worse. But I didn’t expect my dad to talk. The only thing he knew to do was pick fights and wield his power and control over everyone. Including me.
In the shower, I was thinking of Kennedy again.
Thinking about her was the only real break I got from having to think about work.
What did I really want? That was a question I hadn’t asked myself since this thing started with Kennedy.
I told myself and I told her; that I wanted nothing more than a purely sexual relationship. She’d agreed to it. She’d insisted that was what she wanted to.
But I’d seen the look in her eyes the previous night. She was happy that I was going to spend the night at her place. She was hopeful at the idea that maybe we could go on another date. I wanted to treat her right. I wanted to make her happy.
Why?
Why couldn’t I just behave the way I always behaved in these kinds of arrangements? No other woman had this effect on me before. For the first time, I was beginning to feel like maybe I wanted more from her too. More than just sex.
The previous night had been calm and peaceful. We didn’t do much. Kennedy and I had just laid on the couch watching a film we’d both seen before. It was nothing new or exciting; and still, I’d enjoyed it. I had fun spending the night with her. I didn’t even want sex. I was spent for the night. I was perfectly happy doing nothing but just lying there on the couch with her.
I stepped out of the shower now, wondering what my next steps should be.
Maybe I could speak to her and ask her how she felt? What would she think about me changing my mind? Would she be happy about it? Or had I misread the signals? Maybe she didn’t want more than this at all.
***
I drove to the job site, trying to mentally prepare myself for the coming onslaught. A day on the site with my dad meant a day of following orders and watching him making bad decisions.
The only thing that was keeping me going was my decision to speak to Kennedy that evening. I was going to text her and ask her out on a proper date. One where we would actually finish our dinner and talk. The thought of starting something serious with her was scary, but exciting at the same time. I knew I was falling for her.
When I got out of the car, I could see a group standing around something on the ground. My father was there too and he was barking orders. Even from a distance, I could sense that there was something going on.
I rushed towards the group, pushing men out of the way so I could see.
“Find out who did this! Go! Go!” dad was screaming at some men.
There was a body on the ground. I stood over it with heaving shoulders. He was the accountant. The man who was in-charge of the money that mysteriously vanished into our accounts. The man who my father relied on to make the magic happen.
He was on the ground now, with a bullet wound in his chest. From what I could gather, it was a clean close-up shot to the front of the chest. He wasn’t running away when he was killed; he was captured and shot. Whoever did this, had managed to kidnap him.
“Where was he found?” I growled, looking up at my dad.
My father was pissed off and raging, but for all the wrong reasons.
“Here! Right here! They left him here for us to see,” he barked, with a sour look on his face.
“We found this note on him, Nico,” one of our men, who was handling the body, handed me a note.
Guess who’s next?
The note read. I looked up at my dad with a jerk.
“What the fuck is this?”
My dad was already walking away from the group and I followed him.
“What is going on?” I growled. My father stopped to glare at me.
“What do you think is going on, Nico? Someone is trying to scare us. They think we’re going to cower under their threats,” he hissed.
I clenched my jaws, trying to control my rage so I wouldn’t yell.
“How did they get to him? Wasn’t he under our protection?”
My father didn’t seem too bothered by it.
“It doesn’t matter. I can replace him in a day,” he replied.
“Fuck replacing him, dad! We need to get to the bottom of this and find out who did it. What if our lives are in danger?” I growled.
My dad grinned and then scoffed.
“You think we’re ever safe? Our lives are always in danger, Nico. You should know that by now,” he replied.
I watched as some muscle dragged the body away. He was no doubt going to be buried somewhere discreet. My father was not going to allow the news to spread. His accountant being killed would be a sign of weakness.
“What about his family?” I asked.
“What about them? He made enough money working for me. I’m sure they’re comfortable, unless those morons got to them too,” he replied.
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
“Morons. Morons? Is that what you’re calling them? They got to our accountant, dad! The guy who took care of our business. They’re clearly not that stupid. They’re sending a message. Our business is under attack. Don’t you see that?” I was barking at my father now, who scowled at me.
“You scare easily, son. I’ve seen this sort of stunt before. If they could get to me or my family, they would have done it already,” he said and there was a laugh in his voice now. My father thought this was funny!
“So, we’re going to do nothing?” I asked.
“Of course, we’re going to do something! We’re going to find the motherfuckers who did this and we’re going to kill them,” he replied, in a cold voice.
“And you don’t think this is evidence enough to put a stop to what we’re doing?” I asked and my dad broke into a loud laugh now.
“Put a stop to our business? What the fuck are you talking about, son?”
“Conduct our business differently. Go legit. I already have it all worked out. I can show you how we can ease into peaceful legitimate work,” I explained, hopeful again.
My dad was staring at me like I’d slapped him across the face. Like he couldn’t believe what I was saying to him.
“Peaceful, legitimate work, eh?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at me. I wasn’t an idiot. I recognized that tone of voice. My words weren’t having an effect on him, in fact, he was growing angrier by the minute.
“We don’t need peace, Nico!” he growled and I shook my head. He was never going to change. How many people had to die around him before he finally realized enough was enough?
It was obvious that my father didn’t care about other people’s lives, but his own. And the money and power he was gaining.
“We need to make sure that nobody gets to us. That everyone knows what we’re capable of,” my dad had brought his face up close to mine and he was hissing.
“Man the fuck up, Nico, and get to work,” he added, before whipping away from me.
I tracked him as he walked away. Things were not going to change around here.
I’d grown up in the shadow of my father. When I was a kid; he was all I ever wanted to be. My father was my hero. There was nobody as tough as him, nobody more powerful than him. Now, I knew that there was nobody more selfish and brutal than him either.
I turned back and walked to the spot where the accountant’s body had been lying. They’d carried him away, but there was still traces of blood from his wound which had dried up now.
“Clean this up!” I snapped at some guys.
There was a dead man on our job site, and all my dad cared about was sending a message back. Guess who’s next? That’s what the note had read. Who did they mean? My dad or me?
What was going to happen if one day our family wasn’t strong enough anymore? I had followed my dad’s commands and carried out enough violence in his name. Enough for me to have deadly enemies.
My father was right. We were never not in danger. What kind of a life was that to lead? What kind of a life would I be inviting Kennedy into?
I stood there, thinking about Kennedy again. She didn’t deserve any of this. She didn’t even know the sort of shit I was involved in. If I spoke to her about a serious relationship and she agreed; she wouldn’t even know what she was signing up for.
I was falling for her. I had feelings for a woman who deserved better. Better than me.
It was over. This dead body was all the proof I needed to confirm that Kennedy and I couldn’t have something real. It would be unfair. It would be unsafe and no matter how much I wanted her, I couldn’t get her involved in this.
I pulled out my phone and deleted her number and the texts we’d exchanged. I wanted to avoid all temptation of calling her or speaking to her again. It was better off this way. Ripping it off like a Band-Aid.
My only hope was that she wouldn’t reach out to me. Because, if I heard her voice or saw her again; I wouldn’t be able to resist her. It would start all over again.
I needed to lie low and make sure that we didn’t see each other again. It was the only way I could keep her safe.
I got to work after that. My father had disappeared from the job site, leaving all the responsibility on me. I made sure everyone was doing their job and keeping an eye out for potential threats. I kept busy.
I was going to have to get used to this feeling. Of this numb ache at the back of my head. Of trying to push thoughts of Kennedy away and concentrate on work. Concentrate on staying the fuck alive.
Sometimes I couldn’t help it and I checked my phone for messages from her. Kennedy was still sticking to her word, she was keeping it casual. I knew she wasn’t going to text me unless I texted her first. Which meant, this was over.