Tuesday, December 3rd
Anthony
AG: Sunshine, I’m headed home. Can’t wait to see you and hold you. ;)
I hit send and headed home. I thought I might get a response from her, but nothing came over. Maybe she was napping. She’s so tired. As I drove home, I thought about Christmas at my cabin this year with Sydney. We were going to make this the best Christmas ever for Sydney.
I continued to think of Sydney and how she was so different from other women. She meant more to me than anyone did and she was submissive. I could run wild. Almost.
There were some things that I absolutely loved but wasn’t sure if those desires would ever see the light of day with Sydney. Rope play was one. I loved wrapping up a sub in rope and playing with her. I also tended to like rough play. Hair tugging, down on the ground, rougher more primal sex. I was pretty sure that at this point I was going to shelve those desires, for now and I was okay with that.
Thoughts of rope play reminded me that Blake’s auction was coming up. I usually offer up an evening to the highest bidder to either teach them rope patterns or tie them up. I looked forward to it each year because it was usually the Dommes who coughed up the money to be bound. To be honest, I really didn’t want to do it this year. We had Sydney and Colin and I swore we would go into this completely faithful to Sydney. This was a closed V and Colin wasn’t going to train anyone else nor would we play with anyone else. Neither of us wanted a thing to do with another woman. Just Sydney.
I could give up playing with rope for her. Easily.
My hard limit of having my scar touched went out the window with Sydney. She could touch me however she wanted and I’d be fine with it. I’d be okay with her grabbing onto me roughly too. Last night in Irons she had fistfuls of my chest hair and left some tiny fingernail marks on my chest. I liked the way it looked and felt. I’d tread carefully around that subject with her. I’m not certain how the idea or notion that someone likes to be handled roughly would sit with Sydney.
When I pulled into the driveway and parked behind where Colin’s BMW was parked, I couldn’t help but notice that the house seemed darker than usual. All the exterior lights were on but I didn’t see the soft glow of light from inside. This caused my pulse to jump because I know that Sydney hates the dark.
I stepped inside to near darkness in the entryway. There was a hall light on in the direction of Sydney’s room and I could tell some lights were on in the kitchen. Where was my sunshine?
I started to worry some and tossed my suit jacket on the entry table and flipped on the entryway light. I turned as I unbuttoned my shirt at the cuffs, loosened my tie and undid the top few buttons as I took a few steps.
“Sydney, sunshine. I’m…home.” My eyes fell onto Sydney.
Kneeling a short distance away was our naked fragile kitten with her head downward. I frowned at her head being down and walked towards her. I flipped additional lights on and as I got closer, I saw that her shoulders were shaking. Her hands were on her thighs, palms up but her hands were shaking too.
What the fuck?
I quickened my pace to her and crouched down in front of her. I took hold of her chin and tilted it up so I could look in her eyes. She kept her eyes downward.
“Eyes, sunshine.”
Slowly, she brought her eyes up and it broke my heart. I felt like I was being punched in the stomach.
“Sunshine, sweetheart, talk to me.” Her eyes dropped again and I took hold of her chin. “No, I don’t want you to look away. Look at me, Sydney,” I said firmly.
Sydney shook and tears began to fall. I was scaring her. I needed to calm down. I shut my eyes and took a few deep breaths despite my heart being on the verge of pounding out of my chest.
“Sunshine, why are you crying?”
“Um…I…I was b-bad t-today. M-matt had to come over and b-bring me to you for l-lunch. I h-hurt my w-wrist and m-made you and Colin worry. And I didn’t f-fill out the p-paper. Colin k-kept it.”
She reached down and pushed something on the floor towards me. A mother fucking belt. Did she think she was in trouble over today?
“Sydney, what’s this for?”
“T-to p-pun-punish me…f-for today. I bothered M-matt and didn’t finish the l-list. M-matt gave it to Colin.”
Christ, she’s been waiting all afternoon for us to come home and punish her. I put my hand on the belt and slid it hard behind me and heard it bang against the wall. That fucking belt needed to be as far from us as possible. I nearly ripped my shirt off, pulled off my undershirt and scooped her up and held her on my lap. She was shaking badly and I could feel her skin had goose bumps on it. I leaned against the wall and kissed her head.
“Sunshine, you weren’t bad. I don’t think there is a bad bone in your body.” I tried to calm her and continued to softly stroke her hair as I tried to warm her up. “You aren’t in trouble and you’re not going to get punished. You’ll never be punished with a belt.”
I was feeling a mix of anger and agony. I remember how many times I was beat on with my step-father’s belt. I hadn’t given my upbringing much of a chance to creep back into my head until Sydney. Anger continued to build as I thought about being hit and then how angry I was that someone had instilled that fear and kind of pain in Sydney. I cared very much for her and the thought that she had been hurt with a belt as I had, wasn’t sitting well with me. My chest felt like it was exploding. Sydney had actually gone into a closet this afternoon and pulled out a belt and waited for one of us to arrive home to beat her. I felt myself start to breathe quicker and had to try to calm down. I pulled my phone out from my pocket and shot a text off to Colin.
AG: I’m home. Sydney is a mess.
“Sydney, you did nothing wrong today. You’re not in trouble, sunshine.” I kept repeating phrases like this while I held her and tried to warm her up.
I brushed the hair off her face and she broke down in my arms. She needed to feel secure and the warmth of my skin. Something familiar and comforting. She kept trying to make fists or let her hands ball up. Each time she did, I slowly opened her hand, kissed it and placed it down on my chest.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”
I ignored my cell phone when Colin tried to call. Sydney needed me to hold her and needed my complete attention. Colin would be fine and would be home soon. Sydney was nestled in my arms and the shaking had stopped momentarily until the front door opened.