Sunday, November 24th
Anthony
I woke up around 9:00 in the morning with a raging hard on. I hadn’t opened my eyes but just stayed still, enjoying her body snuggled up against mine. I felt movement on my cock and my eyes flew open to see that Sydney was still resting her head on my chest. Her hand had wandered down to the inside of the waistband of my pajama pants and was stroking me. Fuck me.
“Sunshine, your hand feels good.”
She let her finger rest on the underside of the head and I just about came. I wasn’t used to a woman touching me sexually without me telling her when, where and how to touch. Sydney had me at a disadvantage. I sat up and set her on her back in the middle of the bed and I kept eye contact with her while I slipped out of my pajama pants. My balls ached as I gazed down at her naked body. She was naturally submissive but still quite a novice when it came to playing consensually. All she knew was what that asshole taught her. Which was everything as wrong as it possibly could be.
“Part those pretty legs for me, sunshine.”
Heat flashed in her eyes and she parted her legs without hesitation. I winked at her and pulled the lube out from the nightstand. I positioned myself on my side and put my hand on her hip. The skin there still felt different than the rest of her body, but she’s been okay with me touching her there. I lowered my head and licked her moist slit.
The scent of her arousal excited me and made me harder. I felt intoxicated by her scent and kept reminding myself to go slow with her.
“Sunshine, I want you to roll on your side so you’re facing me.” She rolled to her side and I slipped the hand that was on her hip, between her legs to rest on her butt. “Good girl. What do you say if you want me to stop?”
Her eyes were wide and her lips were parted to facilitate her breathing heavier. Her voice sounded different, but in a good way. Lusty sounding, maybe. “Red, Sir.” Knowing she was this turned on started flipping all my switches in the right direction.
“Perfect, sunshine.”
With that, I guided her leg over my shoulder and I went to work licking that pussy of hers. I rested my head on my arm and stroked her butt cheeks with my hand. She began letting out soft moans of pleasure and enjoyment that only fed my fire. She moved her hips and was grinding slowly on my face. She wanted more but was trying to do it slyly, as if I wouldn’t notice. This girl was very sexual but had been so afraid to let the lion out of the cage.
“Sir,”
I stopped my feasting and looked up at her over her bruised tummy. Her expression was soft but needy, and much to my surprise, she had one of her hands tugging on her nipples.
“Sunshine?”
“Sir…may I…try to suck on you?”
I smiled and winked at her and knew that her asking permission to do so, took a lot of courage. Sydney was self-conscious over giving head but she just needed to go at her pace and I was proud of her for wanting to try. I gently took hold of her hips and pulled her over my body so we were in a sixty-nine. I went back to work on her sweet pussy and let her go at her own speed. Soon I felt the warmth of her mouth envelope my cock. I had to fight every urge in my body to not push myself deeper in her mouth and take control. This was something I just needed to let her have control over. In doing so, I hoped it would help her build confidence.
We had been going at it for a while when I lubed up a few fingers. I continued to rub on her butt cheeks with my right hand and could tell she was still trying to get more friction on her clit. I pulled on her butt cheek with my right hand and firmly made circles around her little puckered hole with a lubed finger. She stilled and I stopped moving. She didn’t say anything and I worried she was freezing up on me.
“Sunshine, use your word if you need it.”
“Sir, your finger feels so good.”
I smiled and went back to licking and teasing her pussy. I pushed my finger in a little bit at a time until it was all the way in. She moaned quietly, almost as if she was afraid to make noise. She had me in knots. She took me deeper into her mouth and made a swallowing motion that did me in.
“Fuck! Ahhh, sunshine!” I yelled as I released my load in her hot mouth. She continued to lap up all my fluid while I went at her clit, determined to make her come. She moaned out her release as she slammed her ass back at my finger trying to get more. I’d give her something with more girth, I thought to myself.
She rolled off of me and was lying on the sheets next to my legs. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down at her. She was trying to catch her breath and started to curl into a ball. I moved behind her and molded my body around hers so she’d feel secure and protected. I pulled the sheet up around us and kissed her neck and shoulder.
“That was wonderful, sunshine. I’m proud of you.” I said quietly and wrapped my arm around her.
I’ve learned recently that Howard constantly put her down in the oral sex department. Honestly, she was probably terrified of the act because he’d call her names, and even more disturbing; he burned her with cigarettes when he wasn’t pleased. I also discovered her over protectiveness of sheltering her ears. Howard would grab or slap her ears while she was sucking on him. Because of so much trauma and fear that she associates with oral sex, Colin and I have been so careful, and are trying to help her with it. So praise is required. We don’t fill her head with useless words or phrases, but no matter what, we always express how proud of her we are that she tried. Sydney just needs to get comfortable and not be afraid of it. On her face she wore a beautiful smile with pride. I wish Colin could see this smile. Sydney was proud of herself too. It was going to be an incredible gift to watch Sydney grow, and to be part of her journey as she discovers herself. Howard held this beautiful, kinky soul down and now I was going to help her figure it all out.
“I’m glad I made you happy, Sir. I had fun. I really liked your finger.”
“After our shower, I’m going to give you a butt plug that you’ll wear all day. Matt and Gina are coming over at noon for the game and they won’t know you have it in. But I’ll know you’ve got something filling you up. It’ll be sexy.”
“Mmm, I can’t wait.”
I had promised Colin that I’d continue the anal training with Sydney. What a delicious chore for me. After our playful shower this morning, I told her to go get ready for her plug while I shaved. I was greeted by her kneeling on the bed with her chest and head on the mattress and her butt was waiting for me. Colin and I had been taking turns inserting it last week. But I was happy to say that it was all my responsibility until Wednesday. I’d survive.
I massaged her butt cheeks and slipped a finger in her pussy that was staring at me. It would make the plug go in a bit easier if she was turned on. And she was. My finger slipped inside her wet pussy and worked around while my other hand lubed her up. Once I felt her start to push herself back against me, I knew she was ready and pushed the purple plug in place. This one was the next size up from the one Colin and I had given her this week. She tensed and made a small noise.
“Easy, sunshine. Relax.”
I sat on the bed and pulled her to my lap. I cradled her in my arms and kissed her lips. She was to keep the plug in until we go to dinner. I made sure she knew to tell me if it became painful.
As she sat there naked in my arms with a wet pussy I grew hard. She was so content on my lap and had wrapped her arms around my neck. I wanted to make her come. I slid my hand down to her soaked pussy, and pushed a finger in to get it nice and slick. She cooed and hummed against my neck. While I wanted to hold her down on the bed and pin her arms down with one hand as my other hand toyed with her, I knew that could be very damaging. I think any sense of being restrained or held down would scare her. I understood, this so I continued to play and tease her on my lap.
“Don’t move your arms, sunshine.”
We’ll have to rely on verbal restraints for now. I rubbed on her clit and as she got closer, I tugged on her butt plug. She tensed and her fingernails gripped my shoulders.
“Oh,” she panted.
I stopped my movements and instructed her to look in my eyes. She looked clear and okay but I asked her just to be sure. I think she was afraid to admit she liked the feeling. She told me she was ready to continue, and with that, I worked to bring her towards her release. As she came against my hand, I pulled the butt plug out and she began to writhe and move around on my lap as the little happy moans escaped her throat.
I set the plug down on the bed and wrapped both arms around her. Sydney gets cold after sex or coming and she needs extra care. Howard never gave her any care afterwards. He just treated her like shit. They didn’t have a loving or nurturing D/s relationship; they had a non-consensual abusive one. I held her a little closer to my chest and kissed her head.
I cuddled her for a while until she grew talkative again and then I carried her to the bathroom and set her on the rug next to the bathtub. I knelt down on one knee and leaned over to start the water. While I poured some of the vanilla bubble bath into the water, she asked me if I wanted her to prepare the bath. Sydney started move as if she was going to stand but I stopped her.
“Sir, I should be doing that.”
“No, sit still, sunshine. I want to take care of you.”
“But...”
I looked over at her and saw her frown. Howard really fucked this girl up. She was taught not to have a voice, wait on him hand and foot, and to accept his abuse. He made her think it was completely out of the realm that a Dom would care for, and take care of, his submissive. And the ass fuck made her think it was all just the way things were in D/s relationships. She had nothing else to compare it to. My silence made her nervous as I knelt next to her with my hand on her forearm.
“Sydney, breathe sweetheart. It’s okay not to always have to be the one to do everything. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed. I’m going to take care of you and give you a nice bubble bath.”
“But...”
“And you know why I’m going to give you a bubble bath?” She shook her head as the tears filled her eyes. I took hold of her chin and rubbed my thumb over her bottom lip. “Because I want to. Doms like to take care of subs and bottoms.” I kissed her lips and turned the water off.
She’s still underweight and it’s no chore at all to pick her up. I set her down gently in the warm bubbles and went to work on washing her. I took my time washing everywhere. I gave her feet a massage and rubbed some tension out of her shoulders. I tended to her body until her fingers took on that wilted appearance. I thought the warm bubble bath would be good for her. For one, I knew it would help warm her up and two, it allowed me to maintain contact with her. I sent her to go get on the bed in position to get her plug again. She smiled bashfully and hurried out of the bathroom. I cleaned off the plug from this morning and warmed it under the hot water. It was absolutely my pleasure to lube up that tiny hole and push the purple head back inside her.
“That’s a good girl. Does it feel good, sunshine?”
“Mmm, yes, Sir.”
Fuck, I could feel my dick twitch. I needed to calm myself down though because Matt and Gina would be here soon. Since it was football day, I pulled on my football jersey and had Sydney wear a red tee shirt. I realized we made her a 49ers fan by association.
Matt and Gina arrived moments before the pizza delivery guy. During the game, I ate my food quicker than anyone else because I was eager to hold Sydney in my arms and on my lap. And as soon as Sydney was done eating, that’s exactly where she spent the first two quarters. At half time Gina and Sydney gathered the plates and took them into the kitchen. Matt watched the girls leave the room and then looked over at me.
“Is Sydney okay? She’s walking gingerly.”
I laughed and felt that ache in my chest again.
“Sydney’s got a butt plug in. I’m working on the second size with her.”
Matt smiled wide and shook his head at me. He knew Colin and I were working on anal training with her.
“How was last night?”
“It was good. We took a bath together and talked. She woke up from a bad dream but I got her to talk about it.” I paused and looked towards the kitchen to make sure the girls were still milling about in there. “Her nightmares are very realistic, Matt. They’re very vivid to her. She wakes up terrified that Howard is going to get her again or that he’s possibly in the room.”
“That’s tough, Anth. It’s good that you have her moving in the right direction with talking, though.”
I ran my hand through my hair and leaned forward over my knees. I told him about her nightmare and the point where she woke up from feeling like she was getting burned in the dream. He winced and looked towards the kitchen.
“Anthony, if you want and if you think it will help, I’ll go with you guys Tuesday to her appointment.”
“Thanks. She and I will be okay. Maybe we can get together for lunch after the appointment. We’ll play it by ear and see how it goes.”
The girls came back and snuggled up to Matt and I. Sydney rested her head on my arm and shoulder. She was tired. I know since she’s been here that she’s only had a few nightmare free evenings. That’s got to be wearing her out.
By the end of the game, she was asleep. She was leaning on me and had her hand on my bicep under my jersey sleeve. Matt and Gina headed out and we made arrangements to meet them at a place close to Colin’s called the Underground Bar and Grill. It’s good table service in a relaxed atmosphere. I thought Sydney would like it.
It was close to 5:45 and we had about forty-five minutes before we were to meet Matt. I was going to see if we could get a few minutes in with Colin before we left. If my math was right, it’d be about 9:45 in the morning for Col. While I got the iPad ready, I told Sydney to sit in the center of the bed and take her panties off. I wanted to give Colin something nice to look at and wanted him to see her nice plug. He’d notice that since it was the purple one, it was the next size up from the one we had previously been working on.
I sat behind her with my legs on either side of her. We connected with Colin on screen and when he saw Sydney naked from the waist down, he smiled and leaned forward. I filled him in on Sydney’s plug and tugged her legs upward so he could see the purple O-ring finger pull on her plug.
“I’m jealous. Thousands of miles away and I’m subjected to watch this torture.” Colin laughed as he continued to watch as I rubbed lazily on Sydney. “Make her come, Anth.”
I looked up at him and smiled. I realized that even though he was physically on the other side of the world, he was still right here with us. I smiled and began rubbing on her clit in circles. I listened to Colin give little directions on how to touch her and couldn’t help but smile as I felt Sydney’s body come alive in my hands as I heard my best friend make noises of pleasure.
Colin has always been more vocal when we used to play with different subs or bottoms at Irons. I often found it more comfortable for him to guide the little sub along. He and I both dominated the scenes, but with different styles. He is much more nurturing where I like it a tad rougher. He and I also both got off on giving the other one directions and watching the scene unfold. I smiled knowing that he was doing that now from Macau.
“Eyes on Colin, sunshine. Let him see you.”
I licked my finger and then worked short back and forth motions just to the left of her clit. She responded instantly. Of course, she’s been slowly warmed over the course of the afternoon. Being this close, I had to take her earlobe in my mouth. I loved that little thing. She cooed and began to push herself forward towards my finger. It didn’t take long before she was coming and twisting in my arms.
“Yesss, baby!” Colin said in a strained tone. I looked up to see that he had his dick in his hands and had found his release.
Sydney shook a little as she was coming down from her ride. As Colin and I have played with her this past week, we’ve become increasingly aware of the chills or shivers Sydney gets after she comes or quickly after the physical touch is gone. It’s become something that we’ve had growing concerns over. I tucked her closer to my body and then grabbed a throw and wrapped her up. Colin was cleaning himself up but was paying full attention to Sydney.
“That’s it baby, let him hold you.” He was smiling at her again and then he glanced over at me. “So, you guys going to dinner soon?”
“Yeah, we’re meeting Matt and Gina at the Underground Grill at 6:30.”
He nodded. “I better get going since I have to change pants and a shirt now. Completely worth it though. Sydney baby, you stay by Anthony tonight.”
“Yes, Sir.”
We talked briefly about her nightmare last night. That news sobered Colin and I could tell that he hated being so far away.
Colin had a meeting today with Cheng and they were going to tour one of the casinos. He said he’d email me some specifics later. I knew that he was excited about touring the properties. Colin’s been trying for over a year to lock up a Cheng Hotel deal, and now he’s got two.
We disconnected our chat session and Sydney and I got ready to leave for dinner. The weather was shitty out and it felt colder due to the wind. I made sure she had a sweater on over her shirt and then made sure she wore a jacket. Colin and I need to take her shopping for some warm things like sweaters.
As Sydney and I were walking into the restaurant, Colin had sent me a text.
CE: Anth, take good care of fragile kitten. It’s only been a few days from her scene. Don’t let her scene with anyone and steer clear of Paul.
His text made me smirk. I wanted to bust his balls and respond with “no shit.” But he was too far away and it wouldn’t be right to mess with him where Sydney was concerned. He already was on edge about being away.
AG: Don’t worry. I’ll have her locked at my side.
Once inside, I glanced around for Matt and Gina. Off to the side, I saw him stand and wave at us. Sydney sat across from Gina and they began their chit chatting. Tonight felt different than any other night for some reason. I think it was because it was the first time that I’ve really been out with Sydney on my own without Colin. We had just finished eating and the girls went off to the restroom while Matt and I waited for the bill.
I kept my eye on the hallway where the bathroom was. My chest started aching again. Fuck, what the hell was going on with me? I even tried picking something off the menu that I thought was healthier. I almost opened my mouth to say something to him about it, but quickly closed it.
“So how does it feel without Colin around?” Matt asked me as he signed the bill.
“It’s not weird being alone with her but it’s a little weird being in Colin’s without him.”
“There’s always your place, Mr. Penthouse.”
“My place blows. You were there. What the fuck kind of place is that for her? There’s nothing remotely comforting there.”
“You’re there. You’re what she wants.” I looked up at him and he continued. “She’d live in a box with you, Anthony.”
Over Matt’s shoulder I could see the girls making their way back to us and I stood. When they reached the table I pulled Sydney against me and held her for a moment. Fuck, I could get used to this. As much as I knew I could get used to, I also knew that lurking close to the surface was my need to dominate and play rougher, and I wasn’t one hundred percent certain she could handle that.
I put my hand on the small of her back and guided her towards the door with Matt and Gina behind us. There was some sort of energy I could feel sizzling between Sydney and I. When I touched her back, she looked up at me with eyes that held a spark. My cock was getting hard and my heart rate picked up.
I opened the passenger door for her and as she started to get in, I got a whiff of the vanilla stuff she wears. Fuck me. Smelling that stuff flipped a switch inside me and I internally struggled with my feelings as I walked around the car to the driver’s side. I tried to push the feelings down rather than act on them. Sydney was doing something to me and I don’t even think she was aware of it.
Once I got in the car I chanced a glance at her as she was tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. My eyes roamed from her sweet face down to her tiny bare neck. So fragile. I couldn’t help it anymore and gave in.
I reached over and took hold of her chin with my hand and turned her to face me. She smiled and her gorgeous blues locked onto mine. It was like she could see into the depths of my dark soul and the thought made me feel vulnerable. I closed my eyes and took her lips with mine. At first I was slow and gentle but as our kiss deepened I felt my self-control slip from my hands. She met me move for move and showed no signs of nervousness or apprehension.
Finally I got myself under control and winked at her. Whenever I wink at her, I’m rewarded with her sweet, soft smile. It made me feel good knowing that I made her smile. I held her hand as we drove to Irons and parked by Matt’s Mercedes SUV.
When we got inside, I flipped my phone over to vibrate mode while Sydney checked her coat. I knew Matt was off with Gina getting ready for their scene so I led Sydney towards the bar and we sat down at one end close to Will and a sub that he was talking to. He nodded in my direction in greeting and I returned the nod. He smiled at Sydney and then said something to the girl he was with and headed over towards us.
“Graves, good seeing you.” He gave my back a firm slap and then looked over at Sydney while forcing down a smile. “You keep bringing this girl in here and she makes me smile. Soon my tough guy reputation will be gone.”
I laughed and told him we came to watch Matt’s rope scene. Will nodded and then took a seat next to me, which was mostly out of Sydney’s hearing due to the background noise.
“She doing okay, after the scene Friday?”
I nodded but didn’t look over at him. Really, I thought Sydney was doing fine. I was the one who had the air knocked out of me since then. I sensed Will was going to say something else but I wanted to prevent it. I didn’t need another intervention of feelings. I took Sydney by the hand and told Will we were going for a walk and would catch up with him later.
I took her by the elbow and led her over to what had become our spot. Sydney and I sipped on some Cokes while I stroked her arm and talked to Blake. Unfortunately, Evan made his way over to say hi.
“How long is Colin in Macau?” Evan asked me. I let him know that Colin would be back before Thanksgiving. I hoped it was going well. I knew Colin was meeting today with Cheng and getting to check out the new facility. This was great for his business and he’s worked so hard to build up his company. I was proud of him for pounding the pavement and being persistent with Cheng for over a year. He’s built an incredible company and the success hasn’t changed him. He’s still the same guy I met at Irons in my early twenties.
Sydney and I made our way down to the dungeon as it neared time for Matt’s scene. I spotted an empty stone bench near Matt’s room and we made our way over to it. I sat down and pulled Sydney to sit on my lap since it was so crowded. Blake came down to watch as well and leaned on the stone column behind me to watch. Matt’s scenes always drew a large crowd. He had mentored a lot of people and was well respected. I even noticed Paul was down here to watch, though he wasn’t very close. Anyone who knew that Matt was doing a public scene always showed up to watch. Matt was very much into education and felt the more people he educated, the less chance of something similar happening to someone else like what Gina went through.
As the scene started, I took hold of Sydney’s hand and reminded her to tell me if she’s uncomfortable. Colin and I were still working out triggers with her and while I didn’t think Matt’s scene would have anything in it that would set her off, I just didn’t know for sure.
The only light Matt had in the room were candles. He had Gina bound to a spider web contraption with neon orange rope. His rope work is getting much better. I taught a class a few months back about rope patterns and ideas. Even though I love rope, I don’t think it would be something Sydney would be able to handle. She’s been hurt so much and being bound wouldn’t help her. She reacted just fine though to Gina being wrapped up in rope; but maybe because she knew Matt wouldn’t hurt her. Matt would give his life for Gina and I’m pretty sure Sydney knew it.
During the scene, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and it startled me. When I jumped, Sydney jumped and looked at me.
“Easy, sunshine. Just my phone,” I whispered.
No sooner than the vibrating ended, it started again. It was as if the person was just calling and hanging up and then re-dialing. What the hell? Sydney was enjoying the scene, and even though it was over and the crowd was dispersing, I wanted Sydney to see the aftercare. It was important, and Colin and I make sure when we are watching scenes we stay put so she can see the care. Because the bond Gina and Matt share was so strong, their aftercare was always amazing to see. I’ve never seen two people so much into the other one. The room could be on fire and neither of them would notice. When my phone started vibrating again I took Sydney by the hand and we headed back upstairs. Once we were on the main floor I pulled my phone out and saw seven missed calls within thirty minutes and a handful of texts. Every single one from Colin. I frowned as I started to read them and my heart began to pound.
CE: Anth call me as soon as you see this!
CE: Don’t let Sydney out of your sight.
CE: Don’t let Sydney play with anyone and don’t let anyone try to negotiate a scene with her. Especially Paul!
Well fuck. All of that seemed a little extreme for so many things I knew to be common sense. Maybe he was just stressed and worried being so far away. My stint Friday night hadn’t helped. There was also a voice mail, so I listened to that next.
“Anth, I know you guys were going to Irons. Listen, I need you to call me the second you get this. It’s urgent.”
No “bye” or “talk to you later” he was just gone. Obviously I was concerned and glanced around to find someone I could have sit with Sydney. I saw Blake and flagged him down while I sent Colin a text.
AG: Got your texts and msg. I’ll call you in a minute. Gotta get someone to sit with Sydney.
His response came immediately, which meant that he was waiting with phone in hand to hear from me.
CE: Don’t let her stay with anyone but Blake or Matt!
Blake sat down across from Sydney and I knew that he could tell something was up.
“Can you sit with Sydney for a few minutes? I have to step outside for a call.”
“Of course.”
I took Sydney’s face in my hands, kissed her and told her to stay with Blake. I started dialing Colin as soon as I got outside. He answered on the first ring.
“Anth, fuck. Where’s Sydney?” Colin asked quickly. I turned my head to look at Sydney with Blake.
“She’s sitting with Blake. We were down in the dungeon watching Matt’s scene. That’s why I didn’t get your call. What the fuck is going on?”
I heard him blow air out and the sound vibrated over the phone. “Are you sitting down?”
“No, what the fuck, Col? Tell me what’s wrong.”
“As I was getting dressed again this morning I found Sydney’s journal buried in my bag. She put it there obviously wanting me to read it. I took it with me and read some a little bit ago between meetings. I know I said I wouldn’t read that one, but she must have wanted me to read something. Maybe something that she was too shy to voice.” He paused for a moment and I could tell that he was sipping on something. “Anthony, she could have cared less that she scened with Evan. She wanted it to be us. It’s in black and white. Her handwriting. The night before Evan came to the house to talk about the scene, she wrote about how nervous she was and how she almost told you that she didn’t want to scene with him. Then the night Evan was there, she wrote about how she could hardly breathe while Evan was at the house. It wasn’t because she was scared. She wanted to be able to tell us she wanted to scene with you and I. She wrote about how when I left the room with Evan you got on the floor to cuddle her and how happy she was in your arms.” He paused again and suddenly I found myself sitting down without even knowing that I had moved to sit down. “Anth, are you listening?”
“Yeah.” I pulled myself together and took a deep breath before he continued.
“The night of the scene, as I walked her over to Evan, she asked me if I had read her notebook. I thought she meant her assignment journal, not her personal notebook. She had been trying to tell me all week and I was too fucking blind. That’s why she had the reactions she did when Evan would come around. She didn’t want him and was too nervous to tell us. She’s so used to not having a voice, Anth. She put in her notebook though that she felt she wasn’t even worth you or I considering as our sub.”
Sydney wanted Colin and I. I found myself rubbing the sore spot on my chest while I thought about this and exactly what it meant.
“Anth? Are you there?”
“Yes, just thinking. This is what was urgent?”
“Yeah, man. You guys are in Irons. I didn’t want to risk the slim chance that you’d let her scene with someone. Other than you. Anth, she wants you. One more thing, stay away from Paul.”
“Like I’d give him the time of day anyhow.”
“Anth, you’re what she wants. There are pages in this book about how safe you make her feel and how you care for her and protect her. All those pictures you’ve been drawing for her and leaving with the M&M’s, she’s got them all taped in the notebook. Anth,”
I pulled the phone away from my ear hoping to not hear him tell me that she loves me. I couldn’t handle that right now and had to be calm. I brought the phone back to my ear.
“Colin,” I started but he cut me off.
“Anth, don’t you fucking dare say anything that will piss me off. I’m too far away for you and I to argue about this.”
He was right. He and I didn’t need to be at odds right now. His distance with Sydney was rough enough without having to worry about me pushing her away.
“Anth, I know you’re still working some shit out. I get it and that’s fine. I understand this is new to you and she’s knocked the wind out of you. But you’re going to have to come to terms with your feelings for her. I know they exist and are in you. You’ve admitted it. You’ve got to come around soon, Anth. She can only take so much. She’s been trying to tell us how she feels.”
I thought back to earlier in the week. There had been signs all week right in front of us that Sydney didn’t care to scene with Evan. She was worried and full of questions all week. Colin and I should have known. I wish I were fucking better at this stuff. Of course, Colin didn’t see it either. I closed my eyes when I remembered knocking her notebook off the dresser. Prior to that, she had never kept her notebook away from the nightstand. She deliberately set it next to my watch so I’d see it. I didn’t even think twice about it. How blind can I be? Which led me to re-think how on earth could I take care of her properly? A young woman like Sydney needed a Dom who was always on his toes and didn’t miss things like this. I told Colin about how Sydney had been giving me signs all week, but that I was too thick to grasp them.
“I know what you’re doing, Anth, and you better fucking stop. I didn’t catch it either.” He paused for what seemed like forever while tons of things raced through my mind. “What are you thinking, Anth?”
“I know what you’re saying and you’re right. I’m still working on it. But Sydney feels something for you too.”
“I had to talk to you after I read that stuff. I didn’t want you to let her play with anyone else. Not when she wants you. Remember, this is new to her too.”
“I wasn’t going to let her play with anyone. I’ve become too caught up in her. I could barely keep my eyes open during that scene Friday. I couldn’t stand to see Evan standing in front of her shoving his dick in her mouth. Took every ounce of control I had to push him out of my mind.”
“I know, Anth. I stood there and watched you and Sydney.”
We talked for a few more minutes and then he had to go into a meeting. I hung up with him and sat outside for a few minutes. I needed to get my head under control. Colin was right; I need to snap out of it. She’s scened once and other scenes will follow. Some Dom will grab her up in a second.
I took a deep breath and felt my chest ache. Maybe I’m coming down with a chest cold. I needed to get looked at and would call Matt tomorrow so I can get some medicine to nip this.
When I went back inside I sat down next to Sydney. Blake looked concerned but I told him everything was fine. He began making his rounds of the club and I pulled Sydney closer to me.
“Sunshine, Colin called while we were in the dungeon.”
I searched her eyes and watched her face go from calm to worried. She does care about him too. Well fuck, I thought and my mind began running wild with “what ifs.”
“Is he okay?”
“Yes, he’s fine. He was telling me he found someone’s purple notebook in his bag.” Her face paled and she looked down. I moved quicker than I had intended and put my hand on top of hers and tilted her chin up so she’d look at me.
“Don’t, sunshine. You’re not in trouble. But I have to know something. Why didn’t you tell Colin and I that you’d rather scene with us?”
“Um, it’s complicated.”
“Un-complicate it.”
“Um, I knew that I didn’t have a chance. Girls like me, don’t get Doms like you or Colin. You guys have so much going for you. You’re in charge of your lives and can treat a sub right and pay attention to her. You’ve made me feel more cherished than I have in my whole life. And I knew there was no use in telling you guys because neither of you were looking for a sub. I’m looking for a Dom that will be good to me and that I connect with. So scening with Evan gave me some much needed practice at how it’s going to be when I have to go out there in the world again on my own and try to navigate those waters.”
I couldn’t believe what this girl was telling me. She lacks self-esteem and desperately needs to be cared for. She needs to be taken care of and for caring hands to touch her. I can do that. Colin can do that. Yet she thought so little of herself to even voice her feelings before tonight.
“Sydney,” I started and then struggled to find the words. I sucked at expressing myself. She looked at me expectantly. I felt as though she could see down to my soul. I knew it was a dark place and I shut my eyes thinking I could keep her from seeing the darkness, or dragging her into the dark. I leaned in and took her lips passionately. Mine.
When I pulled away from her lips, I looked in her eyes and saw everything I’ve been missing in my life. I knew several things needed to happen. I needed to take this girl out on a date and I needed to have my chest looked at because the aching was becoming unbearable. If I was going to care for her as my sub, I needed to make sure that physically I was okay.
“Sydney, when was the last time you were out on a date?”
“I haven’t really been on one.” She shook her head as if reprimanding herself and quickly added, “Sir.”
How could she have never gone out on a date? Surely before Howard there had to have been guys. But, I was oh so glad to be her first official date.
“Well, tomorrow after I get off work, you and I are going on one.”
It was nice to make her smile like that. Her eyes sparkled and she smiled widely.
“Want to go back downstairs and watch some scenes?” The dungeon was my preferred place.
“Yes, Sir.”
I took her by the hand and we ended up watching a pretty arousing scene with a Dom and his sub. He was dressed up as a jail guard or prison guard and she was the inmate. It was sexy as hell. As I held Sydney on my lap I got sucked into my “what if” thoughts with the heavy scent of her vanilla. I immersed myself with nibbling on her earlobe while my hand worked under her shirt to massage her breast. I pulled her closer so her back was pressed against my chest. I soon had her legs on either side of mine and slipped my other hand between her legs. She was warm. I unzipped my jeans and pulled my hard dick out and let it rest against her butt cheeks after I tugged the fabric to the side. Her bare butt cheeks felt wonderful.
I wrapped my arm around her anchoring her to me. I had my chin resting on her shoulder and was whispering in her ear and sucking on her earlobe. She giggled softly and turned her face to hide against my neck. So shy.
I played with her on that bench for what seemed like forever. I rubbed on her clit, finger fucked her gently and played with her breasts. When I looked up, I realized that no one was in the room in front of us anymore. I wondered if she would feel comfortable enough to play with me a bit tonight. I worked her up pretty well and I thought she would have damn near done anything I asked. Which is exactly why I didn’t ask her to step into the dungeon stall with me. I want her to agree to do that with me when she’s not all sexed up and dripping.
“Sunshine, it’s getting late. We need to get going.” I kissed her ear and took her earlobe in my mouth again, dragging my teeth across the soft skin.
Suddenly I had the feeling that she and I were no longer alone. I could hear some scenes in the distance, but it was pretty much empty in the location of the dungeon where she and I were sitting. Something made me look over to my left and I went stiff. When I froze, it alerted Sydney and I felt her body tense immediately. She turned to look at me and then over at what I was looking at.
Paul Fielding stood leaning against the archway to a stall and was staring at us. I detested the way he was glaring at us. I tightened my grip on Sydney’s waist and pulled her closer to me while I adjusted her to sit on my right leg and moved her legs together between mine. I wanted her covered. I was still unzipped but her skirt was covering me. I calmly kissed her forehead and eased it down to rest on my shoulder so she was facing my neck. I didn’t want Paul to look at her face. When I felt her quiver, I let my eyes leave Paul and dropped them down to Sydney.
“Relax, sunshine. Nothing to be scared of.” I whispered words of comfort so only she could hear me but she was tense because she knew I had initially tensed. Fucking Paul. I turned my attention to him.
Paul was walking towards us and stopped to lean on the wall just a few feet from us. He was running his fucking eyes all over my sunshine. I kept my breathing controlled so it didn’t alarm Sydney. I looked up at Paul making sure he saw the promise in my eyes that if he said or did anything stupid, he’d pay dearly.
“Graves how is your evening?” He spoke in a bored to death tone and looked down at his fingernails. He brought his dark eyes up to Sydney’s body when he spoke again. “I couldn't help but overhear Master Blake and Matthew upstairs say that Everett is away. Macau, it seems; for business.”
What the fuck? I didn’t let my eyes move from his and I felt Sydney try to make herself hidden. He was scaring her and making me a little nervous.
Two male slaves were walking towards us and they acknowledged Paul. When I saw him nod at the two men, I started to feel uneasy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Seth down the hallway as he was coming out of a stall from having just wrapped up a scene. As the male bottoms walked behind us I noticed there wasn’t a dungeon monitor in sight. Fuck. I didn’t like how this was shaping up. There were two men behind me, that I couldn’t really see and in front of me was fucking Paul Fielding. I may need Seth’s attention because I wasn’t sure what Paul’s intentions were.
“Paul, what can I do for you? Are these gentlemen here to play with you?”
I pointed over my shoulder at the two guys behind me. I regretted saying it as soon as it left my mouth. I shouldn’t have been so careless and mouthy with Sydney in my arms and clearly in the dark regarding Paul’s intentions. All of the light left Paul’s eyes and his creepy smile faded and was replaced by a look of hate. I narrowed my eyes at him trying to let him know that he just needed to walk away and leave us alone.
“I’ve always admired your cocky mouth, Graves. I’ve wondered for years what it would feel like wrapped around my cock and a fistful of your hair in my hand. Now, show some manners. Everett would hate to hear that his favorite guy didn’t show respect to his elders. I came down here to see if I could offer my assistance. Without Everett, that makes you shy one person for your threesome needs. Thought I’d lend a hand. I know how you hate to play alone. Or maybe, you can’t play alone.” He ran his eyes all over Sydney and it made my blood pressure soar. “I’d hate to think that this young thing had a hole that wasn’t tended to. If you’re particular on positioning, I don’t mind and will take either hole. I know you get off on watching Everett top a submissive, so if you’re into that tonight my friends and I can make certain each of Sydney’s holes are tended to properly. You can watch.”
This wasn’t happening. I couldn’t believe what he just spit out at me. I felt Sydney try to cuddle up against me more and hide her hands between our bodies as she took hold of my shirt. She began frantically shaking her head while whispering “no” over and over. Her head left my shoulder and her eyes pleaded with me. She begged me not to make her play with anyone.
Was she used to being passed around? Colin and I have found that Sydney rarely will voice a need or fear unless it was really bad. Two times stick out in my mind when she’s felt strongly enough about something that she’s brought it up and expressed her feelings. The first time was when Colin shut the bedroom lights off, almost leaving her in the dark the first night she stayed with him. She is terrified of the dark and not being able to see. The second time was moments ago as she begged me in a panicked whisper not to make her play with anyone else. She shook in my arms and began getting antsy. I held her tighter against my body and kissed her head as I guided it back down to my shoulder. I was fucking pissed off now that Paul had scared her. He and I would have words but it wouldn’t be with Sydney around. I cleared my throat before I addressed him.
“Thank you for the offer, but I think Sydney and I are doing just fine. You might be better suited to play with these gentlemen alone though.”
“Fuck you, Graves!”
His tone told me he was pissed. I needed to get Sydney and myself away from him. I turned my head and was about to get Seth’s attention when I felt something brush by my head. I quickly turned back to see that Paul had uncoiled a whip and nearly struck me.
I quickly gathered Sydney and moved us to the end of the hallway putting her between my body and the stone wall. I no longer cared that my pants were unzipped. All that was visible were my boxer briefs anyhow.
“What the fuck, Paul?” I held one hand out trying to stop him from advancing on us and the other hand held Sydney’s shaking hands behind me. Now I was really fucking pissed.
“You and Everett don’t get her all to yourselves, unless she’s your slave. And if I’m not mistaken, her neck is bare. You have no ownership or rights. I’m looking to negotiate a scene with her. She might enjoy whips or my style of play. You can watch a man play with her Graves.”
Was I dreaming? I’ve never had anything remotely dangerous or confrontational happen around me at Irons. This couldn’t actually be happening. I felt Sydney grab hold of the hem of my shirt in the back and I turned to look at her.
“Out of the way, Graves.”
He brought his hand up and I turned my head to shelter it. He would have to hit me before I moved from my spot. And then I heard the noise of the whip slicing through the air only to be followed by a piercing warm sensation.
He fucking hit me.
He actually hit me.
I looked down at my chest and brought my hand up to rub on it. I glared at him for a moment before I yelled “red” and then Seth’s name to get his attention. Paul pulled the whip back up and I turned my back to him, pressing Sydney into the wall and shielding her with my arms on either side of her head. The whip wouldn’t curve into her with her body pressed against the wall by my body. Seth called for a dungeon monitor and then Paul’s two male pals scurried away. Paul was still mouthing off even though he knew attention had been drawn.
“Graves you’re such a pussy!”
Calm down, I told myself over and over and tried ignoring Paul for the moment. With my hands on Sydney’s cheeks I told her to look at me while Paul continued to yell crap. I searched her eyes and then looked her over quickly to see if she had been hit.
“Did you get hit? Let me look.” My eyes quickly scanned her face and bare arms. I then quickly began looking for blood on fabric but didn’t see any.
She was shaking her head rapidly and said that she hadn’t been hit. I still wasn’t completely satisfied that she hadn’t been hit but while I was glancing her over I was hit in the back again by the whip.
“Come on, Graves! Don’t you turn your back on me you obnoxious asshole!”
I heard him drop the whip and his voice grew louder as he began approaching us. I didn’t want him anywhere near or within touching distance of Sydney. As much as I didn’t want to leave Sydney’s side, I had to keep Paul from advancing on us. I pushed myself away from the wall and shoved Paul into the empty stall. He was fucking nuts. He intended to inflict pain and wanted a confrontation. Well, he was fucking going to get one. I grabbed handfuls of his shirt and shoved him up against the stone wall.
“You keep the fuck away from Sydney and Colin! Do you hear me you sick fuck?”
I was so angry and wasn’t watching his every move and he swiftly moved his hands up to my neck and began squeezing as he spoke to me. This couldn't really be happening, I kept telling myself because the reality of this wasn’t setting in at all. His grip was strong and he intended to cause damage. I was dumbfounded as to why he was so angry.
“Graves, Graves, Graves. Ever since you joined the club all those years ago, I’ve wanted to have you in my grip. I could have taken you in our threesome. It’s not too late. Come on, let me take you in the jail theme room. Sydney can watch me make a man out of you.”
I couldn’t believe the shit I was hearing. I just stared at him shocked. I struggled against his hand when I realized I was short of breath. Where was all of this anger and hate coming from? I had tunnel vision and probably could have stared at him like that until I passed out. I snapped out of it though when he grabbed at my pants that were still partially unzipped. What the fuck? I pushed his hands away when he reached around and tried to grab my side near my scar. I slugged him in the face and when he reached for his face, I grabbed him and shoved him against the wall.
When I brought my arm back it was grabbed by someone and I was being pulled away from Paul. While Seth and Matt were pulling me back, Paul quickly moved off the wall and came towards me but Will and a dungeon monitor restrained him. What the ever loving fuck?
Matt and Seth both had me and were guiding me away from the stall while security and a couple dungeon monitors were in the stall with Paul. I saw Blake coming towards us. Fuck.
Sydney.
I jerked my arms away from Matt and Seth but reached for my chest. It fucking hurt even more now. Matt reached for me and pushed me to sit down on a bench. I looked down and saw blood starting to show through my shirt. He made me bleed.
“Let me look, Anth.” Matt started to unbutton my shirt and I heard Paul mouthing off to Blake. I pushed Matt’s hands away as he kept trying to open my shirt.
“Matt, stop.”
“Let me see it. We’ll clean it.”
“Not now, Matt. Sydney. Let me get her taken care of.”
She was sitting next to Evan and looked worried. When I made eye contact with her though, she gave me a small smile and I went to her.
“Sir, are you okay?”
“Fine, sunshine. Are you okay? You didn’t get hit, did you?”
Panic raced through my system, as I quickly looked her over again. Thank fuck she was okay. Colin would have fucking killed me. Shit, had Sydney seen Paul and I fighting in the room or heard what he said to me?
“She’s okay, Graves. He didn’t hit her with the whip,” Evan said. Despite the fact that Evan had recently irked me with the way he handled his scene with Sydney, I knew she had been safe with him just a few minutes ago.
It was as if he was reading my mind though and I was thankful for it. “I kept her right here. She didn’t go to the entrance.”
If she had stayed where she was and hadn’t come over to the entrance, then she hadn’t seen me get aggressive with Paul. I hoped she hadn’t heard much of what he had said either. Paul was still ranting in the stall with Blake and the content was still geared towards his utter hate for me suddenly. I couldn’t understand this for the life of me. He and I never clashed or had issues. In fact, I’ve never really said much of anything to him. He dished crap out to lots of Doms in the club on a joking level, though I never cared for it. I wanted to go in there and tell Paul that if he had a fucking problem with me, he could be a man and talk to me about it instead of bitching to Blake about it. But Paul wasn’t worth my time and attention. Sydney was.
I zoned out for a moment or two and just stared at Sydney and held her hands in mine while Paul’s voice filled the dungeon. Matt had his hand on my upper back and I snapped out of it when I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder.
I took Sydney by the hand and led her out of the commotion and headed towards the stairs. I heard Blake yell for Matt to take me to his office. A crowd was quickly gathering and I knew that Sydney gets nervous around large crowds. I needed to be away from all this shit and get Sydney somewhere quiet. So right now Blake’s office sounded perfect. On our way through the dungeon there were many whispers of a fight and how “Paul went crazy on Anthony,” and “Paul whipped Anthony and Sydney.” The faster I could get Sydney away from the whispers and early stage of the rumor mill, the better.
At the top of the stairs, I turned left to head down the long hallway towards Blake’s office when I felt Sydney tug on my hand. I stopped and turned to face her with Matt on my heels.
“Sir, um, maybe I should go sit over there. Out of the way.”
Fuck me, this wasn’t happening. Just as I’m about ready to fully invest in the notion that I can give Sydney what she needs, she starts retreating. Just as Colin and Matt warned me would happen if I didn’t pull my head out of my ass. I shut my eyes and when I opened them, she was staring up at me.
“Sunshine, you won’t be in the way. I want you by my side.” I ran my hand through her hair and winced when I noticed I was shaking. “I need you, sunshine.” She nodded at me and squeezed my hand. Maybe she just needed confirmation that she was wanted and wasn’t in the way. And that I needed her.
I bent to kiss her forehead and left my lips there a little longer so I could inhale her comforting vanilla scent. She smiled and gripped my hand tighter.
Matt nudged me on the shoulder and we proceeded down the hall into Blake’s office. I felt chilled all of a sudden and recognized it as adrenaline running through my system. I sat down with Sydney right next to me and Matt sat on the coffee table across from me. I let my head rest against the cushion of the couch and shut my eyes.
I was still trying to wrap my head around what just happened. Paul fucking hit me with a whip. What possessed him to do something like that? I had never been whipped. I’ve been hit with a belt, but not a whip.
All that was running through my head now was my step-dad and the times he brought a belt down on me. No one had hit me since I was seventeen. And now, I get whipped by fucking Paul Fielding. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if he actually had struck Sydney. I would have punched my ticket to hell.
Blake’s office was like an icebox and I pulled Sydney closer to me because I knew that if I was cold, she’d be freezing. I felt a hand on my chest and instinctively pulled away from the hand and turned to shield Sydney. I opened my eyes and saw Matt sitting across from me. I’m losing it.
“Calm down, Anth,” Matt had his calming, soft, counselor tone going and it pissed me off. “Let’s get the shirt off so I can see how bad it is.”
I ran my hands over my face. Fuck, he was just trying to help and I was biting his head off. I unwrapped myself from Sydney and unbuttoned my shirt and risked a peek down at my chest. Blood. He drew blood and sliced my skin. I looked up at Matt and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. Bruce loved to cut me and draw blood. I guess Matt could tell that I felt queasy.
“Relax, Anth. Seth, get some water and hand me the first aid kit.”
“No, I’m okay Matt. I’ll bandage it up later.”
“The one on your back too?”
My back? I rolled my shoulders and felt the sting. Unbelievable. I was motionless as Matt peeled my shirt off and cleaned the cut on my back. I could hear Matt tear open some bandages and felt him applying one to my back then he concentrated on my chest. Blake walked in and sat on the arm of the couch and looked at me.
“I’m fine, Blake.”
He raised his eyebrows at me and smirked.
“Clearly, you’re fine.”
Whatever. I really wasn’t in the mood for his sarcasm.
“I stopped and watched the security footage. I saw and heard everything. I terminated his membership and had him escorted off the premises. I’m sorry, Anthony.”
“Important thing is that Sydney is okay,” I said and squeezed her hand. Matt and Blake looked at each other.
“Cold, Anth?” Matt asked.
Blake and Matt looked at each other again and then Blake asked Matt if I was in shock. Matt nodded and it pissed me off. I was fine.
“I’m fine! We need to go.”
I stood up and started to pull on Sydney but Matt pushed me towards the door and then out into the hall. Sydney was safe in there with Blake. I leaned against the wall and waited for Matt to begin whatever speech I had coming.
“Anthony, I don’t want you driving. Not yet. Stay in Blake’s office for a bit and calm down.”
“I’m fine. I just want to get Sydney home, Matt.”
“Look,” Matt pulled his phone out and showed me a text he got from Colin possibly right before Paul went nuts. “Colin said he got a text from Paul telling him not to worry and that he’d take his spot while he was away.”
CE: Find Anth and Sydney. I just got a weird text from Paul Fielding about taking my spot while I was gone. I don’t even know how he knew I was out of the country. Please find them, I’ve tried calling and texting him.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and finally zipped up my pants. I had a few missed calls from Colin and a few texts trying to warn me. I could imagine how Colin probably felt when he received the text from Paul. Fuck, Paul was crazy. I suddenly felt very tired on top of being cold. I wasn’t going to admit that to Matt though. I had a feeling I wouldn’t have to admit it and it’d be a waste of time to deny it. I think it was the adrenaline drop and I’m definitely coming down with something.
Blake came out of his office carrying a black tee shirt and handed it to me. I didn’t argue and pulled my bloody shirt the rest of the way off and put the new tee shirt on. Matt spoke to Blake and showed him the text from Colin.
Shit, Colin. He must be climbing the fucking wall.
“Matt, did you text Colin?”
“No, I read his text and then came looking for you. I found you and Paul getting ready to kill each other. I didn’t have time to text Colin.”
“Okay, sorry. Fuck.” I ran my hands through my hair and leaned against the wall. I needed to pull myself together. “Sorry, Matt.”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just angry at what Paul did.” Matt put his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.
I pulled my phone out but saw Matt had his out and was much quicker to text Colin. I went back into the office and pulled Sydney to sit on my lap. I hugged her to my chest and Seth came over and draped a blanket over us. That was fine because I could hide under the blanket. Sydney put her hand on my chest and I set my hand on top of hers. I liked it there. I was dead tired all of a sudden. I think it was an adrenaline surge.
“Ready to go home, Anth?” Matt finally asked me. I didn’t answer but stood up with Sydney and headed towards the door. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to get home and hold Sydney and forget this night happened.
Matt, Gina and Blake were walking out with us and Matt insisted on driving Sydney and I home. Gina would pick Matt up at Colin’s. Fine. I wasn’t going to argue because really it was for Sydney’s safety. Thankfully, Matt didn’t come inside with us. I was fine and still capable of taking care of Sydney. I didn’t need a babysitter.
Shortly after getting inside the house, Sydney wrapped her arms around me and asked me what was wrong with Paul. I told her that I didn’t have a clue and up until recently, Paul never really came around Colin or I. He had a different taste in subs and his thing never blended with Colin’s or mine so we never really saw much of each other at the club. Paul had been a member longer than I have and I think Blake knew him the best. All I knew about him was that he was a sadist inside of Irons, a pharmacist outside of Irons and he enjoyed trying to get a rise out of me. That was it. While I had Sydney in my arms, my phone went off. I knew it’d be Colin without looking at it. I pulled it out of my pocket for confirmation. Yep, Colin.
CE: I talked to Matt and know you guys are home. Once you get settled, call me or text me or FaceTime me from the iPad.
I sighed and quickly thought about how I wanted to handle this. Text form would be the best for me, but I knew Colin was half a world away and would prefer to be able to physically see Sydney to make sure she was okay. I guess it’d be the iPad. I sent him a text telling him we’d be on the iPad in about five minutes.
“Sunshine, go set the iPad up on the bed. I’m going to the kitchen to get some water for us and lock up.”
I kissed her and playfully hit her butt lightly as she began to walk down the hall. She looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a smile. And that’s all it took to bring me out of my rotten mood. Seeing her smile did it.
In the kitchen, I found some ibuprofen and took four with water. I leaned against the counter and rubbed on my chest. I didn’t want too look at it but knew that I eventually would. I’ll take good care of it because I sure as hell don’t want another scar on my body.
Sydney and I connected with Colin using the FaceTime feature. I wasn’t surprised to find him waiting for us. He sat on the edge of a seat in what looked like a conference room. He was working but found a private place to talk with us. Some of the worry left his face once he saw Sydney on his screen.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi, Colin!” Sydney greeted him excitedly. She cares for him too. I know she does and I was quickly reminded that he can give her things that I can’t.
“Not to worry, Col. She’s okay.” I reassured him. He had a strange look in his eyes though. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly.
“I can see that.” He was trying to have a silent conversation with me but I didn’t have the energy. I shook my head at him from behind Sydney hoping he’d pick up on it and not ask me much about tonight. Sydney’s smile had made things better. I knew he wanted to see my gash. I pulled my shirt off and ripped off the bandage Matt put over it.
“See, it’s not so bad, Col.”
He looked angry. Really, really angry. I shook my head at him again trying to urge him not to go there tonight. His eyes didn’t leave mine but he sat back in his chair. I had to get his mind to a better place. He needed to see that we were home and that Sydney was in one piece and not hurt. He needed to calm down and focus on something other than Paul right now.
“Hey, how’s Macau?” I asked. He blinked his anger away and began looking back at Sydney and then me as he spoke.
“I met with Cheng and his entire team that we’ve been working with. They’ve all been very nice and accommodating. I’m staying in one of the executive suites at one of their hotels. Service has been great. Later today we’re going over to the other new place to view it. Things are going well.” He paused and then looked over at me again. “Business wise.”
“Well, I’m sure you’re looking forward to Thursday at Matt’s with his folks.”
“I am. But I’m looking forward to getting back to you two. What’s on the agenda tomorrow?”
“I’m working in the office tomorrow and then taking Miss Burke out on a date,” I said in a matter of fact tone. Colin threw his head back against the chair looking upwards, smiled and made a fist pump gesture. He sat up now and leaned closer. “That’s great. Really, it is. Any idea where you’re taking Miss Burke, Mr. Graves?”
“Cisco’s.”
He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head sideways while smiling. He knew Cisco’s was an upscale restaurant in the building where my high-rise condo was. He probably thought that I had kicked this into serious mode if I was taking her to Cisco’s. Not because it was a nice restaurant but because it was in my building and I don’t take women or play partners there.
“That’s awesome, Anth. You guys are going to have a good time.”
We finished up with Colin and got ourselves ready for bed. She was brushing her teeth and watching me mess with my gash in the mirror. I cleaned it out and began looking for some bandages. Since Sydney’s been here, Colin had a large supply for her needs. Next thing I knew, Sydney had hopped up on the counter and scooted over to sit in front of me. She parted her legs and pulled me by my arm to stand between her dangling legs. I didn’t say anything. My brain wasn’t working and so I just looked at her. She picked up a medicated gauze pad and dabbed it over my gash while I stared into her dark blues. They were the color of the ocean. I was barely afloat in those ocean eyes. She opened a bandage and placed it over the wound and looked at her handiwork with her head tilted sideways. She leaned over and kissed the bandage. If my chest hadn’t been hurting so badly, I’d have taken those lips. But I was afraid to move. She looked up at me with those deep blue eyes and smiled.
“I’ve gotten pretty good at fixing up cuts and other wounds.” She shrugged and looked down. I tilted her chin up so look at me. Those eyes made me feel better.
“Me too. I could’ve taken care of it.”
“Yeah, I know. But you’ve been taking care of me a lot. You rock me to sleep, clean my wounds, tend to my bruises, wipe my tears away. You make me feel cared for and safe.” Sydney paused and then in barely a whisper added that I hold her. She loves that I hold her.
“That’s what Doms do, sunshine.”
“I wanted to do something for you though. That’s what subs do.”
Mine. Mine. Mine.
No, I had to get that fucking word out of my head. She cares for Colin and he can give her things I can’t. Colin can help her heal. Colin. I care for her and I recognize that Colin is better for her.
I turned all thoughts of reason off, bent down and took those lips. I carried her to bed and made out with her for a while but stopped when I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. I blamed my new gash. I pulled her closer to me and she placed her head on my shoulder and her hand close to my gash. The pressure her hand created eased the chest pain. I knew I needed to stop being a pussy about this and go see Matt tomorrow. I needed it fixed or at least to know what the fuck was wrong. Maybe I had something really fucking wrong and the chest pain was just a side effect. Fuck.
I was on my back staring at the ceiling with Sydney nestled in my arms. She felt good there. I was thinking about tonight when her voice brought me out of my thoughts.
“Sir, are you still awake?”
“Yes. What’s on your mind, sunshine?”
“I hope you sleep well.”
She leaned over and kissed my jaw then settled back down on my shoulder and chest. Her hand skimmed down my abdomen and over my belly button to take hold of my waistband. I exhaled and felt my chest constricting. This girl was doing something to me.
Nightmares struck close to 4:00 in the morning. It was another intense one. She kept looking around the room. When Colin’s here, she doesn’t look around the room. I gathered her in my arms and walked to the sitting room with her. I sat in the chair, pulled the ottoman over to prop my feet up and wrapped the blanket over us.
“Shhh.” I gave her a squeeze when the tears started. “Oh, Sydney…I wish I could make the bad dreams go away for you. I would in a heartbeat. You’re safe. I have you, sweetheart.”
I could feel my chest was getting wet with tears and her hands shook in her lap next to my stomach. I weaved one hand under the blanket to take hold of her hands. Some time passed and the shaking stopped along with the tears. I needed to try to get her to talk.
“Tell me about the dream, sunshine. I want to know.”
“Howard.”
I knew that much already, but she needed to go at her pace and be comfortable. So if we needed to take tiny steps, then so be it.
“What was he doing in the dream?”
“It was that night. After the party and you took me home.”
If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have left her. I knew she was acting different on the way home than she had on the way to the party. On the way to the party she was nervous but on the way home, she seemed scared or frightened about something. I just didn’t know how to press her for answers and at the time I didn’t know what was up. I should have let Colin take her home that night. He offered and he probably would have been able to get her to talk. Howard almost killed her that night.
“What else, sunshine. Was I in your dream?”
“Yes, but it was the good part. You took me home but then he came.”
“Was I still there?”
She shook her head and pressed herself closer to me. She needed comfort. I stroked her hair and held her until we both fell asleep in the chair.