Saturday, November 30th
Colin
Sydney stared up at me with a spatula in her hand and a shocked look on her face. She began shaking her head and breathing hard despite my hands being on her to give her strength. What I felt for Sydney was definitely love. Since she’s been staying here, it sort of snuck up on me, just like Anthony. Sydney had embedded herself deep in Anthony and I; and we both loved her. And it was about time she heard me say it. With the new info from Anthony this morning and knowing we were going to that fucking place, I knew that there’d be tears because I was going to push. She needed to know and understand before I did any of that, that I loved her. No matter what she had been through, or what she told me about her past, or what waited for us in that apartment, it wouldn’t change how I felt about her.
“Unconditionally. Do you know what that means, Sydney?” She had tears running down her face and her eyes were red. “It means that no matter what, I love you. No matter what you tell me or what lies in your past, I love you.”
“You can’t love me. No one has ever said that to me. No man.”
Before she could cut herself down, I took the spatula out of her hands and led her to the table. I sat down and pulled her onto my lap and pushed the hair behind her ears.
“I can love you and I do. I don’t say that lightly, Sydney,” I told her firmly.
Anthony bent and kissed the top of her head while I stroked her damp cheek and held her. I knew “love” was almost a foreign word to Anthony, but I knew he loved her too. He’d say it to her once he was ready. Anthony went over to the stove and tended to the pancakes Sydney had going.
“No matter what, Sydney, I love you.” I put her hand over my heart and let her feel it beat for a moment. “This beats for you.” I glanced over my shoulder at Anthony. His back was facing us as he plated pancakes. “And him. This isn’t just a flash in the pan, Sydney. The three of us have something special worth fighting for. Yes, there will be tears and yes, there will be bumps along the way. There will be days when you’re mad at me. But know that no matter what, you are loved. And we’re going to make sure you know exactly what it means to be loved.”
Her pretty blue eyes sparkled and a smile appeared on her face. I kissed her passionately on the lips and ignored the doorbell ringing. We pulled apart when Matt walked into the kitchen with Anthony and barked out a short laugh.
“Form a V and he can’t keep his hands off of her,” Matt joked and bent to put a kiss on Sydney’s head. “Morning, sweetie.”
Many men would be furious over that. Many Doms would take another man outside and teach him a lesson for touching what was his. But I actually was thankful that my best friend and brother in every sense of the word, was affectionate and caring towards Sydney. Sydney hadn’t been touched by a gentle, caring hand in a long time before she fell into our laps. Matt was very gentle with her and I knew he’d always help Anthony and I with her. And in turn, Sydney was starting to trust him more. She no longer leans away from him or holds herself in a tight ball when he approaches her. She’s also not as tense when she has to see him for follow up visits.
Sydney tried to pull out of my embrace saying she needed to set the table. I nuzzled her closer and told her that Anthony and Matt were capable. I needed to hold her, especially after last night, and I thought she needed it. I was infusing strength in her so she could deal with whatever was coming at her apartment. More than ever, I was glad Matt was coming with us.
Anthony pulled up to the curb and put my Range Rover in park. It was a Saturday and there was a lot of activity on the corner near the apartment building. There were a bunch of boys, maybe high school or college aged, just hanging out on the electrical transformer smoking and being obnoxious.
“Come on, baby. Let’s go finish this.” I held her hand as we walked up the steps behind Matt and Anthony as they carried some boxes.
Anthony unlocked the door and we went inside to begin putting this part of her life in her permanent past.
“Sunshine, you tell one of us the second you want to leave, okay? We can come back another time or Colin, Matt and I can come back another time. We don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
I winced inwardly as Anthony said that to her because I hadn’t told him I intended to find out what happened to her in this apartment. If it took tears and crying, then that’s what it took. Anthony and I needed to understand so we can better help her and Anthony would understand that. Eventually.
I realized the last time I was here I hadn’t paid much attention to anything aside from Sydney’s body on the floor. Off to the side of the kitchen near the radiator was that fucking space heater with metal cuffs still attached to it. My stomach ached and those pancakes I ate earlier felt like cement bricks in my stomach. Anthony went over to it to remove it from our view while I led Sydney over to the small living room section. I glanced around the small studio apartment but knew we had a task on our hands. There wasn’t going to be an easy way of doing it other than jumping right in.
Matt set out a bunch of boxes with one of them being a trash box. That space heater needed to go out in the trash as soon as possible. I noticed that her floor was clean now and I wondered if Anthony had cleaned it up.
I turned to find Sydney standing in front of Anthony and he had his hands on her waist. I was glad he was going to comfort her when I start asking questions. I didn’t want to be a prick about it, so I walked to her and took hold of one of her hands and tilted her chin up so she’d know that I wanted to see her eyes.
“Baby, Anthony and I need to know some things.” She looked nervously from me then over to Matt and tried adverting her eyes downward with a frown. “No, baby. Look at me. I think that there were a ton of horrible, hideous things that went on inside this apartment. The more Anthony and I know, the more we can understand, and the better we can help.”
“I think you and Anthony saw the worst, Colin.” She was a brave girl and maintained eye contact with me while I searched her eyes. I shook my head at her though.
“I think we saw a glimpse of what went on here. I want you to show us the rest.”
In that moment, I was afraid my pushing was going to drive a wedge between us. She was a strong little sub. She was our fragile kitten though too. I wasn’t going to allow her to win this battle. It was too important. Then I saw her start to move away, but Anthony held her against him and put his chin on her shoulder.
“It’s okay, sunshine. I’m right here.” He glared at me, which was just as bad as him yelling at me. Again, he’d understand eventually.
“Sydney, where would you like to start?” Matt asked her gently while also trying to lessen the tension in the air.
“Um, I don’t know.” She brought her shoulders up in that scared, defensive move and walked towards Matt. As I watched her walk towards Matt, Anthony grabbed me by the arm.
“What the fuck are you doing, Col?”
“Baby, Anthony and I are going to take this box out and we’ll bring back your mail. Where’s your key for the mail box?”
She pointed to the counter and I motioned for Anthony to grab that fucking space heater on our way out. As we headed towards the dumpster with the box that contained the heater, Anthony and I got into it.
“Why the fuck would you scare her like that, Colin? Did you see her shoulders? She froze in my arms. You’ve made her more terrified than she already was.”
“Anth, this will be the last time any of us are here. We get this shit done today because none of us are ever coming back here. You and I need to help her, and try to understand what she went through. That way when she wakes up crying about a closet or fuck knows what else, you and I have a starting point. I’ll push, you just need to support both of us.”
He understood. I needed him to not argue with me, and to be her shoulder.
“Fine. But if it gets to be too much, I’ll take her out of there. Tread carefully, Col. There’s some fucked up stuff in there.”
I appreciated his concern for her and for warning me about the shit that awaited us. But I honestly felt like I’d be okay and could focus on getting Sydney to open up while we sorted this place out. Maybe I was being naive about it because I really haven’t had first-hand experience around violence. Anthony grew up in it and Sydney had been living in a hell recently. We would do our best to finish going through her apartment as quickly as possible.
She had tons of mail and I was glad we brought back the box to carry all of it. When we got back inside the tiny hell, I handed her the mail so she could go through it while Matt, Anthony and I went through the kitchen first. She didn’t make eye contact with me when I gave her the mail and it made my chest ache. A Dom had to do what he felt was the best for his sub and what she needed. And sometimes, it wasn’t what the little sub wanted. She needed to be able to talk to us about her past and we needed to know what happened. It would help her heal. As much as she didn’t want to, she was going to have to open up and face her past to move forward. She took the mail over to a spot on the floor and sat down to go through it. I felt like the Bad Dom, which made Anthony the Good Dom. He and I were not going to make a habit out of playing Good Dom, Bad Dom. That had disaster written all over it.
The three of us had silent conversations as we cleaned out her cupboards. Sydney told us she wanted to donate just about everything that was in good condition. She didn’t have much of anything and it made me sick to think that she silently went on like this. I wish I would have known. There wasn’t anything here worth donating. She had a few plates and plastic cereal bowls, mismatched silverware and a few plastic cups that were from fast food places. Anthony pulled a Wonder Woman and Batman magnet from the fridge and put it in the “keep” box. I raised my eyebrows at him and he nodded and whispered for me to trust him. I opened some drawers in the kitchen and found some broken pencils and pens along with loose off brand bandages. There was still some food in the pantry but it was all store brand stuff. Her fridge was bare and when Matt opened the freezer he pulled out some baggies that held cubes of ice. It dawned on the three of us at the same time that these were ice packs for her bruises. None of us could say anything and I took a deep breath. It was too quiet. None of us were speaking, and we were just trying to get through it. Anthony was leaning on the counter rubbing his forehead. I glanced over the kitchen counter to look at Sydney. I could see the back of her crouched down with her arms wrapped around her legs and looking at mail still. She was quiet also.
“Baby, anything exciting in the mail?” I asked but didn’t get a response.
I headed around the corner and saw her concentrating on some mail spread out on the floor. I looked down and saw she had some pictures spread out. When I looked closer, I saw they were of her tied up, chained up, gagged, bloody and bruised. They were in her mail. Fucking Howard sent them to her. Sydney snapped out of her trance of staring at the pictures and tried to quickly gather them. I took hold of her hands so she wouldn’t touch the photos anymore. I called Matt and Anthony over and pulled Sydney off the floor and took her to the couch.
“No, don’t let them see!” She begged and tried pulling away from me. I pulled her to sit on my lap and guided her head to lean against me. I had to calm both of us down. I rubbed on her back and rocked her in my arms. When I stopped rocking her gently I could feel her body quivering and shaking subtly. She was wound tight right now and I went back to rocking her in my arms.
“Shhh, baby. It’s okay. They’re not going to sit and flip through them. You don’t need to be looking at them either.”
As I stroked her back I realized the toll this place was taking on all of us. It was like a heavy, suffocating box. Just then I noticed the coffee table and found it difficult to pull my eyes away from it. The legs were nicked and there were large screws in each leg that were attached to D-rings. This was the table Anthony warned me about. Howard bound her to this thing in her own apartment! Rage was rapidly filling me as I worked to calm myself because I knew she would be able to tell that my body was now tense. When I looked down at her, I met her eyes. She saw me looking at the table. This is the stuff Anthony and I needed to know. As much as it broke my heart, I had to push her some.
“That’s not how that table came, is it?” She looked away from me but I tugged her chin towards me. “Tell me, Sydney. I need to know.”
She made a heavy sigh and looked down at the table. I glanced over at Matt and Anthony. Matt had collected the pictures and Anthony stood close with his hands on his hips, watching over us like a hawk.
“He’d tie me to it.”
My eyes were flying around the area directly in front of us trying to see if anything else looked out of place or altered. She knew what kind of stuff I was looking for.
Her breathing was getting faster and she started looking around the small living room area. She got off my lap and went over to the small tube TV and pulled the antenna off. She pulled on the ends so it would extend and set it on the coffee table. She sat down on the floor and pulled her shoes and socks off and raised her feet to show me the bottoms. I knew the bottoms of her feet had been hurt, but none of us knew exactly how. Now we knew. She remained silent but had just shared a wealth of information with me.
Sydney put her socks back on and then her shoes. She wouldn’t look at me. She went back over to the metal stand that the television was on and brought over a black fabric box and pulled the lid away slowly and looked in it.
“This is the bad box. I hate this box. Lots of times, he’d wait until the pills had been in me a while before he used this stuff.” She wiped away tears from her eyes and took a deep breath before pushing the box towards Anthony and I.
She began picking up M&M’s that were strewn all over the floor by the coffee table and couch. Matt hurried over when she started to pick up pieces of the glass bowl the candy must have been in. Anthony and I glanced in the “bad box.” It was filled with electro stuff. Violet wands and accessories, a circuit board, electro anal dildos, electro clips and pads. Everything to instill fear if used in ways that I’m sure Howard did. It was fine if it was done consensually, but this wasn’t. Sydney was tortured with it.
I was hit with guilt and decided that I couldn’t push too hard. Talking about it was one thing, but she was back in this horrible fucking place and was physically picking up weapons that tortured her in her own home. I didn’t know if she even wanted to be near me right now, but I had to try. Lowering myself from the couch, I scooted over to her on the floor and pulled her to my lap. She didn’t push against me or give me any indication that she was scared of me or didn’t want to be near me, in fact her small hands dropped the M&M’s and took hold of my shirt and I wrapped my arms around her.
“He’d bind you to that table and hit the bottoms of your feet.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I swallowed hard as I held her shaking body. I glanced back at what she called “the bad box.”
“Anything to do with electro sex is a hard limit for you, Sydney. Anthony and I aren’t into it and you don’t have to worry, baby.”
Her voice was shaky and her chin quivered. I held her while Matt and Anthony carried out more trash including the electro box. She didn’t have anything personal in the small living room area. Nothing. Just a couch, the torture device coffee table and a small antenna TV that sat on what looked to be a metal plant shelf.
Sydney went back to sorting mail while I went over to a closet with Anthony. He gave me a look that told me this was the closet he and I talked about earlier.
“Sunshine, are there any clothes that you want to take?”
I stared at the huge clothes bar and leather straps that hung down. My hands took hold of them and slid down the length until I was crouching, staring at her footprints on the wall. Fucking bastard. Anthony looked to be filled with the same amount of anger that I was filled with.
“Sydney, sweetheart, are there any clothes you’d like to take home?” Matt asked her gently as he stood next to her and stroked her hair. Matt knew that Anthony and I were close to coming apart and had tried stepping in. Sydney hadn’t responded though.
Anthony and I turned to see her still crouched over in the center of the room but she had her head down on her forearms. Matt lowered himself to the ground on front of her and was brushing her hair over her shoulder. He was good with her and calm. I was glad he was here to keep everyone calm and in check.
“Home?” Her voice quivered. “This is my home.” She was crumbling. Sydney gestured around the studio apartment as tears streamed down her face. “This is what I have. It’s my home.”
Anthony handed the box to me that he was holding and quickly walked to her and put his hands on her cheeks forcing her to look at him. He was angry over everything in here but I wished he had calmed down before he approached her so quickly. She doesn’t do well around quick movements.
“No, it’s not your home, Sydney. This isn’t a home. This is a horrible place where horrible things happened. Fuck!” He was looking around the room frantically and then shut his eyes to calm himself. He took a deep breath and let his forehead rest against hers. “This is the place where Colin and I almost lost you before we even had you. This is not your home. Home is where you’ve been living for the past month. Home is where you feel safe and cared for. Home is with Colin and I. You have Colin and I now.”
He took one of his hands off her cheek and pulled the hem of his tee shirt up to expose his horrible scar. Anthony took her hand and held it on his scar.
“Sydney, I got this at the place I lived and grew up. Never, ever did I consider that my home.”
Fuck, this was turning out to be very emotional and mentally exhausting. Anthony grew up in a violent situation and he never clung to it. Sydney was a little different. This was her first place that she got on her own and it’s unfortunate that it turned into a living hell for her. Anthony can always get her to come around. He has that connection with her. He pulled her off the floor and brought her over to where I was by the closet.
“Let’s finish this sunshine and then we’ll go home.”
Sydney smiled at him through her tears and we worked on the contents of the closet. It was worse than what I had imagined. There were only a handful of clothes, and what was there wasn’t worth saving. She pulled out her blue canvas sneakers and considered them. She put them in the donate box and then picked up some black dress shoes and turned to look up at me.
“Maybe I should save these for when I go back to work.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she’d never be going back to work. Certainly not at this juncture. And if somehow she won that battle with me, she wouldn’t be wearing crappy shoes. I know that may sound harsh, but she’s done doing without. This was because she had to. She did it to survive. No more. I don’t even know how she walked around our office following the beatings her feet took from a fucking TV antenna. I was going to need a rigorous work out session to get this anger out of me.
“Those would be nice shoes to donate, baby. Someone just joining the work force would be able to use those.”
She smiled and agreed with me. “Good idea, Sir. They’ll make someone happy.” She set them in the donate box. I swallowed past a lump in my throat and quickly shook it off. Sydney is genuinely a good person. She had next to nothing but was happy knowing that someone would be able to get use out of her crappy shoes. She quickly moved through the rest of her clothes while I focused on the heavy leather straps that hung down in the closet. The feet marks that Anthony and I stared at a few minutes ago pulled my attention back to them. I felt sick.
Matt was kneeling beside her now and was holding up articles of clothes for her to decide what box to put them in. He held up the orange sweater Anthony and I had seen her in at work.
“This one has a hole in the back, sweetheart. You can’t keep this one.” Matt spoke softly to her, and again, I was so grateful that he was here with us.
I took the sweater from Matt’s hand and looked for the hole. It was on the back of the collar. Perfect size of a finger. A fucking asshole’s finger. I wasn’t going to go down that road, nor was I allowing myself to dwell over how it happened. In the grand scheme of things, that was minimal. Hell, a sweater hole was nothing compared to being tied to a closet bar, or bound to a coffee table while being beaten with a TV antenna, or chained to a heater and burned.
More of the sweaters and shirts we had seen her in were added to the trash pile due to holes. Anthony had pulled some jeans off the hangers and stared at them. I was unsure of what horror he found with the jeans and when I said his name, he thrust the jeans into my hands. They looked normal until I looked inside the waistband. Attached to the waistband were frayed pieces of cloth. I recognized it as a microfiber cloth. The cloth had been sewn onto the sides where her raw skin would rub against. It wasn’t just in the jeans, but all of her pants. I quietly folded the pants and set them in the trash box and took another deep breath.
I saw a bunch of wire hangers in the closet on a hook above the clothes bar and instinctively reached for them. They had been pulled or twisted into various shapes and some even had smaller pieces of metal wrapped around the existing wire. He actually made wire hangers hurt more. Anthony had his hand over his stomach and I glanced down at Sydney. She was looking up at me with unsure eyes. I handed Anthony the hangers to get rid of them and then knelt down by Sydney.
“Baby, this closet is the reason you’re scared of closets, isn’t it?”
Sydney nodded and tried to find her voice. She looked in at what were undoubtedly her own footmarks on the back of the wall. She was struggling and I’m sure she wished I would stop pushing. But a Dom needed to push his sub sometimes. She nodded at my questions. As painful as this was for all of us, it was good she was getting it out.
“He knew I hated the dark.” She sat and continued to look in the closet. I stayed beside her and rubbed her back to comfort her. “When I was bad, he’d blindfold me and wrap those straps around my wrist. Sometimes he’d hit me with those hangers or just leave me in there. I don’t like the dark.”
“I know you don’t, baby. You will never be in the dark again.” I pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “Where did he hit you with the hangers, baby?”
She wouldn’t make eye contact with me but was talking. She shrugged and whispered that he hit her anywhere he wanted between her neck and knees.
“Baby, reach up and shut the door. You’ll never face the inside of it again.”
She didn’t hesitate at all and swiftly closed the door ending it with a small smile. Our strong kitten went over to help Anthony go through some plastic boxes by the bed. They were filled with tattered books and more broken pencils and pens. I frowned at this because it struck me as odd. On the counter was a pen that was just the ink insert of a cheap plastic pen. On the nightstand, I saw another pen outside of the plastic outer part of the pen. What was the deal with broken pencils and pens in pieces?
“Sydney, baby,” I waited until she looked up at me. “Baby what’s with all of the broken pencils and pens?”
I actually thought maybe this was a nervous trait of hers or maybe something to do with how she dealt with stress. Either way, I was just curious.
“Um…I…um.” Sydney’s voice shook and she looked up at Anthony.
Anthony was looking at Sydney and tried encouraging her to finish saying what she started.
“Um…can you get off the bed, please, Sir?” Sydney said quietly to Anthony.
Anthony gathered the box that he and Sydney had been putting stuff in and stood. Sydney knelt down on the floor as Matt, Anthony and I gathered around her. Sydney pushed the mattress to her bed up and slid her arm between the mattresses. Matt and I quickly held the mattress up to help her. I glanced under the mattress as she pulled out a spiral notebook. We let the mattress back down and she stood up and held the notebook out towards me. Anthony sat back down on the bed and pulled her to sit on his lap. Nestled in the spiral binding was a familiar looking pen that was unharmed. It was blue and said Everett Gaming in silver. We had tons of these pens floating around our office.
“Um, I would write sometimes…about stuff.” I still didn’t understand the broken writing utensils but felt that was coming so I remained quiet as I held her closed notebook. “Howard knew I liked writing and he would tear up my notebooks. He’d snap my pencils or pens. Sometimes he’d light my pages on fire with his lighter and throw it in my sink. I’d cry when he’d do it and I knew he was proud of himself when he saw me upset. So I started leaving old pens or pencils out in the open along with sheets of paper that looked like I had started writing on. They were decoys so he wouldn’t take my real one. I started hiding my real notebook under the mattress so he wouldn’t find it. I brought my pen home from work and hid it too.”
“Sunshine,” Anthony pulled her against him and he stroked her cheek.
Sydney instantly found comfort with Anthony and wrapped her arms around his neck. I knew she was extra fragile in that moment. She was curled up as close to herself as humanly possible. Anthony understood this and held her tightly. Howard was pure evil, and not only did he nearly destroy Sydney physically, he also fucked with her head.
I looked down at the notebook in my hands. The edges were tattered from being shoved between mattresses and part of the cover was torn. But the inside of it contained everything of importance. This was her outlet. This is how she stayed standing and came to work every day with a smile on her face. This, I most definitely was interested in reading, assuming she’d allow me to. I continued to stare at it and Sydney’s small voice pulled my eyes from the tattered notebook to her.
“Sir, may I take that with me?”
“Of course, Sydney.” I stroked her head as it rested on Anthony’s shoulders. “Of course.” I cleared my throat and gently set it down in the box of items to keep.
I felt numb and almost sort of dizzy. I wanted us to finish going through this place because I couldn’t stand it anymore. Anthony and Sydney continued going through a few plastic containers by her bed while Matt and I began putting trash in a few bags to haul out. The few times I caught Matt’s eyes I could tell what he was feeling too. Everything within these walls sucked.
I went into her bathroom to see if there was anything she needed from it. Her tub caught my eye and what Matt told me Anthony had mentioned about their visit with Chris. Sydney said that after Howard would leave, she’d come in here and sit in the shower facing away from the drain so she didn’t see the blood. It hit me like a freight train and I closed the bathroom door, pretending I had to use it. I just needed a few minutes to sort my head out. When I stepped out of the bathroom I came face to face with Matt. He knew I was getting stressed out.
“Okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded. We had been here for hours and it was emotionally draining for all of us. This apartment just sucked the life out of us. She didn’t have any food in the place other than mac and cheese boxes and the convenience store was just across the street. I thought the walk would do me some good.
“I’m going to go across the street and get some drinks and munchies. What does everyone want?” I asked and headed towards the door.
While I waited for responses, I saw something on the door jamb that caught my eye. When I got closer, I saw they were hash marks or some sort of counting marks. The marks went up and down one entire side of the door and there were marks on the other side as well. What the fuck was this for?
“Sydney,” is all that I got out. Matt came over and was looking at the same thing on the wall. I was quickly trying to count the marks that went in groupings of fives. I had to stop counting because my eyes couldn’t focus anymore. Anthony was now by my side and was running his fingers over the black marks on the doorframe.
“One thousand fifty-nine,” Sydney said.
Three sets of eyes spun around to look at her. She was still shifting through some papers and hadn’t even looked up. The number casually rolled off her tongue.
“One thousand fifty-nine, what?” I asked.
“Col,” Matt called my name trying to get me to calm down before I lost it. I had enough sense to stop and take a deep breath. Anthony was on his way over to Sydney while I still asked about the marks on the door. I needed to know what the fuck this was for. Sydney had a scared look on her face and had her arms wrapped around her legs again. What the fuck was this? I felt like control was quickly slipping out of my hands here. I’ve been in the BDSM lifestyle for most of my adult life and never have I seen so many non-consensual, sick things being done to a person in their own home. But Anthony was right, this wasn’t a home. Anthony had her in his arms now.
“What is it Sydney? What is that number for?” I realized it came out harsher than I had intended, but I needed the answer. Not knowing was not an option. No answer. I pushed myself away from the door jam on my way to Sydney and met Matt’s chest instead. He gripped my upper arm and pulled me towards the door.
“We’re going to go get those drinks. We’ll be back,” Matt announced and then pushed me out the door.
I waited until we were making our way down the steps before talking. Thank God Matt was here to keep me calm. I felt like I was losing that battle though.
“Calm down, Col. You’re going to make yourself sick. It’s a lot for everyone, just be patient.”
“I have to know what those marks are for. She’d see it every time she came home or left. It means something.”
“Fine, it probably does and it’s probably not pleasant. Calm the fuck down, Colin. You’re not doing anyone any favors by pushing her anymore. You’ve pushed enough and she’s near a breakdown up there. Let her get finished so we can all leave this place in the past.”
I nodded and used the time outside to calm myself. I felt in control of my emotions again by the time we got back upstairs.
“Break time. Anth, Syd come on,” Matt called them away from the boxes of stuff they were working on.
The four of us sat down to eat some junk food and hydrate. When Sydney sat down on the floor Anthony pulled her to sit on his lap and I crouched down to set a bag of M&M’s on her leg and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry, baby.”
She nodded and smiled at the candy. You’d thought I just handed her gold. She tore into the candy and began popping the green ones in her mouth. Anthony was getting playful with her by tickling her and trying to get a kiss. She started giggling as she tried to escape his kisses and tickles.
“I like your candy kisses, sunshine.”
Anthony calmed his movements and held his hands over her tummy. I was glad he was holding her. She needed the physical connection.
Matt and I began gathering trash and putting it in bags to haul out while Sydney and Anthony continued going through a few plastic boxes near her bed. The apartment was suffocating. The air was heavy and it just fucking sucked. I sat down on the bed and watched Anthony hold things up and Sydney say “keep” or “trash” to. Most was trash. Next to her pillow was a yellow tank top. It looked extremely soft and very worn. I held it up and turned it around for Antony to see. It had Iron Man on it and a smile appeared on Anthony’s face.
“That’s my sleep shirt.” Sydney said with a proud grin on her face.
“Little kitten loves superheroes, Col.”
I glanced down at Sydney and saw her cheeks were red but a playful little smile appeared on her face. She was shy about it, and it was obviously something that I assumed she kept to herself, but Anthony got it out of her during their date. She had a playful gleam in her eye so I decided to get her talking about superheroes. Maybe she’d relax a little bit.
“Do you have a favorite?”
In unison, Anthony and Sydney both said “X-Men.” They looked at each other and smiled. Sydney actually gave me a full-blown smile showing teeth and all. It was the first smile of that caliber I had seen since we arrived at the apartment. She was that happy talking about superheroes. She smiled as she continued to go through a few plastic boxes and Anthony, of course, was able to keep the smiles coming.
“I wonder if there’s a Super Dom,” Anthony said in a serious tone.
“There are!” Sydney exclaimed. “There are actually a few of them. They work in a secret underground society and aren’t widely publicized. Their powers are only good on submissives and bottoms though. Non-kinky people are immune to their powers and they just end up looking silly to vanilla folks. But to submissives, they’re like gods.” Sydney continued putting things in the “trash” or “donate” box as she made up the story of the Super Doms. “Super Doms have everything going for them. They look good, smell good…have Super Dom cars and Super Dom watches. They have everything and know how to use everything…they rescued a submissive that was being held by an Evil Dom and gave her a second chance…and they have been teaching her good things about their secret society…”
Anthony and I sat still and watched her as she excitedly told the story of us. This girl melted my heart. She pulled her cheek in to bite on it as if considering the next part of her story when Matt chimed in.
“But the Super Doms were lonely. They had good hearts but no one to use them on. Super Doms are really picky though. I mean, really fucking picky. But, I read that Super Doms mate for life. They know exactly what they want and once they find it, that’s it.” Matt leaned on the back of the couch looking over at us.
I pulled Sydney to sit on my lap. She was both physically and emotionally tired and sunk down into a leaning position on me with her legs stretched outward on her bed, feet towards Anthony. I rubbed on her tummy and smiled down at her.
“Tell me about this little submissive though,” I playfully prodded and lightly tickled her tummy.
Her eyes lit up and she smiled widely.
“Well, she’s pretty cool. Nothing special, though.” Sydney said shyly while working through her story.
Matt came over and knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed and leaned over.
“No, that’s not what I hear at all. See, this little submissive had been roughed up. Quite a bit, unfortunately. Others would have fallen or broke under similar circumstances, but not this little submissive. She has some battle wounds but an extremely tough core. So tough in fact, that it’s going to require two Super Doms to love her and take care of her.” I wiped a few stray happy tears from Sydney’s cheeks and Matt continued. “Turns out that this little, shy, banged up submissive does have some mysterious super powers of her own. See, somehow, this little submissive was able to penetrate the thick skins of two Super Doms. She crept right into their hearts when they weren’t looking. She brought them to their knees with a smile and the touch of her hand.”
“I heard it was her huge heart that leveled the Super Doms. I heard there were lots of other things too, but mostly her heart.” I added.
“I heard that the Super Doms had mega super cocks and that the little submissive went crazy for them. And that the little submissive had a hot little ass and mouth on her.” Anthony threw that into the story while wearing a lopsided smile. He climbed up on the bed and pushed Sydney’s legs apart so he could get closer to us. When the laughter died down, Anthony continued. “Actually, the Super Doms know exactly how to take care of the little submissive exactly how she needs. And the little submissive fills a huge hole that the Super Doms never thought would be filled; the need to be needed and the need to care for a little submissive.” Anthony hovered over Sydney’s stretched out body, lowered himself and kissed her lips.
Sydney reached up and rubbed her hand on Anthony’s cheek and then mine. Anthony moved back down to kneel between her parted, stretched legs and reached down to rub gently on her sides while I rubbed slowly on her shoulders. After a few moments, Anthony pulled her upright and onto his lap.
“Come here, sunshine. Let me hold you for a few minutes. Then we’ll finish and go home.”
While Anthony held her, I kissed the top of her head and climbed off the bed. I picked up her Iron Man tank top and examined it. I knew she’d want to take it, but it was in pretty bad shape. I winced and sighed upon seeing possible blood stains on the inside of it. Matt came over and I silently pointed them out to him. He shook his head in disgust and pulled it from my hands.
“Hey, Syd, why don’t you let the Super Doms find you a new superhero tank top?”
“Okay,” she said quietly against Anthony’s neck.
Sydney knew it wasn’t in good condition. She probably would have tossed it out a long time ago, but probably held onto because it was so soft.
“Super Doms don’t let the little submissive sleep in clothes, Matt. God, dude, that’s like superhero 101.” Anthony kissed Sydney’s cheek and said that the Super Doms would find her a new tank top though.
Matt and I carried out some trash and now the place was looking pretty empty minus some furniture. Sydney looked around and she was starting to get emotional. She looked at the boxes labeled “donation” or “keep.” The “keep” box hardly had anything in it.
“Come on, baby. We’ll be done soon and then get the hell out of here and go home,” I said to her.
There wasn't much left to do but Sydney put a few more items in the trash and donate boxes. Her “keep” box had a sweater in it, her birth certificate, a Wonder Woman and Batman magnet, her notebook and her social security card. She put her hands on her hips and looked around. All that was left was the tattered furniture. I was going to give the rental office the keys when we leave and would let them know that a donation company was coming by Monday for the furniture.
As much as I wanted to get Sydney out of there, Matt was right. I couldn’t push much more than I have today. This place was emotionally heavy on all of us. I waited until she was ready and picked up her box.
“I guess that’s it. That’s all I have.”
“Baby, you have us.”
She smiled and nodded. “I do. I’m very fortunate, thank you for coming with me today.”
As I crossed the threshold, leaving her confined hell behind us, I stared at the markings on the door jamb again. One thousand fifty-nine “somethings.”
Anthony took her by the hand and walked out ahead of us to the car while Matt and I stopped off at the rental office. I didn’t leave a forwarding address because I didn’t want to risk that ass fuck possibly getting hold of it, if he got out of jail anytime soon. I still can’t believe the asshole mailed Sydney those pictures. I should have looked at the postmark on the envelope. It obviously was before he was arrested from his stint at our office building.
Matt invited us to dinner tonight with his family but I declined on our behalf. Today was rough on all of us and I thought we’d be better off relaxing at home in each other’s company. Once we pulled into the driveway, I invited Matt’s dad and brothers to come over tomorrow afternoon with him and Gina for the football game.
“Are you sure?” Matt asked me as Anthony and Sydney headed inside.
“Yeah, absolutely. Tonight we’ll regroup and talk about some things. If something happens, I’ll text you and let you know but otherwise, plan on coming over.”
When I stepped inside I found Sydney in Anthony’s arms on the couch. Both of them looked absolutely beat down and exhausted. I tapped my hand on my leg trying to think of the best thing to do right now. Glancing at my watch I saw that it was nearly 5:00. None of us had eaten since breakfast and the chips and cookies I picked up at the convenience store.
“Sydney, go start the bath water to the temperature Anthony and you like. We’ll be in shortly.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I waited until she was down the hall and then looked over at Anthony. Our plan was for the three of us to take a bath and get the filthy feeling of that torture chamber apartment off our body. After that we’d order pizza for delivery and then sit and talk.
Our bath was relaxing and exactly where we needed to be. Sydney seemed to be doing okay, all things considering. My chest and shoulders felt heavy as I thought about all the shit that must have happened in that apartment. I was certain Anthony felt that weight too.
One thousand fifty-nine something was occupying my mind. Not far behind that was the image of the fucked up coffee table, her footprints on the wall of her closet and a box filled with electro sex stuff.
We sat in the tub until the bubbles started to disappear and then Anthony and I wrapped her up in a warm towel. I knew after so much had been scraped open with her that she was feeling vulnerable. I helped her into her pajamas instead of demanding she be naked while we had dinner. Not tonight. We’ll get back to that again but not tonight.
“Col, I’ll go order dinner if you want to stay and help her dry her hair.”
I knew what Anthony had picked up on. He didn’t want Sydney to be alone any more than necessary right now. She needs us to be on top of her and the best way we can accomplish that is for one of us to hold her.
“What kind of pizza do you guys want?” He asked but then smiled and looked at Sydney. She started to open her mouth but then closed it and smiled when she realized that Anthony was just teasing with her. Sydney was the most predictable person I knew when it came to pizza. There were so many options and varieties, but Sydney always wanted cheese pizza. Anthony winked at her and I played along and told him cheese pizza was good for me tonight as well.
By 8:45 p.m., the three of us were in the sitting room of the downstairs bedroom by the fireplace. We had a lot to talk about and while I wanted to push, I knew that I couldn’t anymore tonight. I’d be doing more damage than good and I recognized this.
“How do you feel baby, knowing that you never have to go back there?”
“Um, good, I think.” She nodded while she sat in my arms. “No, I am good. I’m happy. That place wasn’t very warm. Heat never worked right and it took forever to get warm water.”
I glanced over at Anthony. Sydney has put so much into proper perspective for Anthony and I. Matt, Anthony and I have lived so comfortably for so long, that sometimes I take for granted things like instant hot water or heat or having a fully stocked pantry. I knew Anthony had to be thinking about his cabin. He has an incredible 3,800 square foot cabin in Brian Head overlooking the ski slopes. Just like Anthony, the place was decked to the nines in technology. Instant hot water, heat, A/C, home automation, hot tub, everything. The most impressive treat in the place are the heated hardwood floors. Sydney would go nuts there. Every Christmas, Anthony, Matt, Gina and I spend about a week up there. Sydney will now join us. I was really excited about this.
“I’m glad that part of your life is over, sunshine.”
“Now that we have had some time to breathe a little, I wanted to talk to you both about making the master bedroom upstairs, our room. It’s bigger. The shower is bigger and the separate tub is bigger and deeper. But I want us to do it right. When I say our room, I mean ours from top to bottom. I want the three of us to go shopping for new bed linens, bath linens and anything we want for it.”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” Anthony said and then turned to face Sydney. “The master bedroom has a balcony. So at night, you can sit outside under the stars.” Sydney’s face lit up and a beautiful smile appeared.
“I’d like that a lot, Sir.”
“Let’s go shopping some night this week after work. While we’re shopping, we need to get you some new clothes and things. Don’t say you have enough, Sydney. Anthony and I decide that now.”
She didn’t argue with us. I decided to bypass heavy topics since it was so close to bedtime. We were all so tired and I thought more discussion might lead to intense nightmares. I already was expecting them, but was going to hope for the best.
Just as I had closed my eyes, Sydney’s voice filled space between us. “You guys do have Super Dom dicks.” Her giggles and our laughter sent us off to sleep. I smiled knowing that I would do damn near anything to hear her laugh and see her smile.