Why am I nervous?
I’m never nervous.
What the hell?
Why am I even asking myself that? I know why. It starts and ends with Jace Sinclair. He’s sitting in the front row like he belongs there, and he is cheering me on in the most obnoxious way.
Can I be honest?
I fucking love it.
Like hard-core.
He’s watching me like I’m the only person in the room. Unlike everyone else in the café, he hasn’t looked at his phone, not even once. His gaze has been trained on me, moving his head to the beat and singing along to the songs he knows. It’s amazing and so damn sweet. I know he is here for me. I mean, I knew that before I got here, but I’ve never really had someone who was there for me. To cheer me on. But Jace, he’s that guy tonight, and it makes me feel some kind of way I’m trying to ignore. It’s just so damn hard.
Especially when he stands at the end of every single one of my songs, hollering my name and clapping loudly. Some girls would think he’s just trying to get laid—and he might be—but I don’t want to think that. I want to think he is being genuine, that he is enjoying my music and me. By the looks of him, I truly believe it. But then, is that me being a naïve girl again? I’m unsure, but I don’t want to ruin this by overthinking it. I want to soak it in and enjoy the attention.
It’s nice to feel important for once.
Grinning like a fool, I look down at my loop pedal while I set it for the next song. My playlist for tonight isn’t what I usually play. This is only my fourth show, but tonight is different. I’m pretty upbeat, which I guess is good since it’s not typically how I roll. Usually, I sing sad, depressing music, but tonight, I feel good. I feel happy, excited, and I’m sure I owe that all to him.
The whole day, he’s been a constant presence. Texting and calling me at every turn. I’ve never had someone come at me like he is. It’s kind of intimidating—but in a good way, if that makes sense. I don’t know. It’s never been like this with anyone I’ve dated or slept with. Well, I only dated Caleb and slept with a couple other guys, so I really don’t have a good basis for how this should go. But it just seems different. It’s crazy and I know I need to calm down, but it’s hard to when I look up and my eyes are pulled to him instantly.
“Let’s slow it down,” I say then.
I smile when I’m met with a suggestive “Yeah” from my front-row fan. I look at the next song, fully expecting to play it. Then, I have no clue why, but my fingers are playing a different song. A song I hadn’t planned on playing. I had wanted to play a cover of Taylor Swift, but that’s not what I’m doing. Still holding his gaze, I smile when he realizes what I’m playing. When I start to sing, the color of his eyes darkens, and it takes everything in me to remember the lyrics I wrote.
The lyrics to his song.
The song I have yet to admit is his, but I know the truth.
So does he.
Unable to tear my gaze from him, I play the song from my heart. The same place the song was written from. I love it. It’s probably my favorite song I’ve ever written and not just because it’s a lyrically great song but because of who it’s about. I’ll forever have this song as a reminder of him. Of the way he felt against me and beneath me. Nothing or no one can tear our night away from me because I have it in these lyrics. It’s special.
When I finish the song, the crowd erupts and I’m blown away by that. “Wow, thank you. I wrote that this morning. Still fine-tuning it.”
“It’s perfect,” Jace calls out to me as he claps loudly.
Grinning, I look away bashfully. He’s really making it hard to do this without turning into a puddle of goo.
“Well, thank you very much,” I say roughly into the mic which I notice makes him squirm in his seat. Good. I like that he’s squirming since I’ve been squirming all damn day.
Looking down, I see that I only have time for one more song. It’s insane how quickly my time goes up here. What’s more insane is that a hell of a lot more people are here tonight. Makes me feel really awesome. Like I’m actually succeeding here. Back home, no one ever took the time to listen to me. But here…here, it seems like I have the attention of everyone. I look out into the crowd, and I smile as Jace’s applause comes to an end and he lowers himself back into his chair.
“This is my last song—”
“What? Seriously?” Jace exclaims, and I have to hold back my laughter as Markus smacks him.
“Dude, shut up.”
“Much to his dismay, this is my last song, and I want to thank everyone for taking the time to listen. I have some flyers up here, so if you have time, come get one and check me out. Follow me and all that stuff—”
Before I can finish, though, Jace is up, reaching for the flyers I had made yesterday. Apparently not noticing that I’m looking at him like he is crazy, he begins to pass out flyers to everyone in the coffee shop. Even the people who work here.
“Okay, wow,” I say and Markus laughs, shaking his head as Jace goes to each person. “All right, so thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed my show. I know I have. I thank you and this is my cover of ‘Coffee’ by Miguel.”
I hear some cheer but not loudly. Not like Jace, who is still passing out flyers while fist-pumping to the beat I just hit. I love my loop pedal; this thing is awesome and it really does help make my music a thousand times better. Catching the beat, I start to play, and when I begin to sing, I look up, seeing everyone watching me, moving their heads to the beat and singing along. They seem to love what I’m doing, and I swear, I live for this. Yeah, it’s just a coffee shop on campus, but these people are my peers and they dig me. That’s freaking amazing.
But then my eyes are drawn to his, and I find that he’s standing in the back, his hands in his pockets, free of flyers, with a huge grin on his face. Looking so damn beautiful and big, I have to close my eyes to remember the next verse.
But I feel free.
So damn free.
I don’t know how this happened, how this dude just came barreling into my life like an angry defenseman and took over my heart in one day. One fucking day. Yes, I just used a hockey comparison, but really, he did! It’s mind-blowing and scary as hell. I’m unsure what is going to happen. I mean, it could all go to hell after we actually get to know each other. He could not like me as a person but like sex with me. To be honest, that could easily be the case, and I need to be ready for that.
But that’s hard to think when I open my eyes, and again, they are locked with his. He looks at me like we’ve known each other for years and we are finally realizing we want more. But what the hell is more? Why am I even considering that? That’s the last thing I need or want. I can’t end up like I did last time. I have to take this slow. I have to think it through.
It’s just…it’s hard when all I want to do is do what I’m singing.
Wake up next to him and drink some coffee.
When I finish the set, Jace loses his crap, and everyone joins in, clapping and whistling for me. Pushing my guitar behind me, I feel my face burn as his cheers get louder. I grin, waving before thanking the crowd one more time. The spotlight goes off and the lights turn up. As I bend down to put my guitar in its case, someone says, “Really great set, Avery. Do you have some of your stuff on iTunes?”
Looking up, I see it’s one of the girls in my music theory class. “Hey! Thanks. No, not yet.”
“You should for real put them up. I’d buy ’em.”
When a few people behind her nod, I smile. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”
“When’s your next show?”
Standing up, I run my hands down my thighs. “Not sure yet, gotta talk to Chase. I’ll post it on Facebook.”
“Awesome. Thanks.”
I smile as I wave to them, thanking them again, and then I go back to cleaning up.
“Put me to work, rock star. Let me be your roadie.”
Man, his voice gives me the chills. I look up, and his grin hits me straight in the gut as I shake my head. “Are you qualified?”
He shrugs. “I take direction well.”
I give him a smile that he returns with a suggestive wag of his brows and I’m laughing, shaking my head. “You were positively obnoxious.”
He feigns surprise. “Who, me?”
“Yes, you!” I stand up and smack his arm. “You almost made me forget what I was singing.”
He winks. “That was my plan. I should have flashed you, but my pants are kinda tight.”
Dissolving into laughter, I shake my head in disbelief as I point to my loop pedal. “Can you pack that up?” I ask around my laughs.
But his eyes stay locked with mine. “First, let me mess that lipstick up.”
My brows rise. “I might if you do a good job.”
His eyes narrow as I bend down to get a cord to wrap up. “Fine,” he says and then he walks past me, his eyes dancing with mischief. When his hand slides down my ass and between my legs, I squeal, jumping about a foot away from him while he just laughs.
Gasping, I say, “Jace Sinclair!”
“What? What did I do?” he asks innocently as he picks up my pedal and puts it in my backpack. “What is this thing?”
My heart is basically in my throat as I shake my head. “I can record and save beats on it.”
“Cool.”
“Hey, Avery.”
Looking to where my name is being called, I see Todd coming toward me and up the stairs. He performed before me tonight. We have a bunch of the same classes, and he’s a cool dude, I guess. “Hey, Todd. I thought you left.”
“Nope, stayed for your set. Great job.”
“Thanks.”
“We should work on some stuff together, merge our sets together. It would be awesome.”
“For sure.” He does have a great voice and I could definitely grow from working with him.
“So you wanna go out tonight? Drink it up?”
I feel Jace’s gaze on me; it’s like he is staring a hole in the side of my head and I know why. His comment from earlier about me being his girl still has the hairs on my arms standing at attention. Apparently, he wasn’t joking around. Not that I thought he was anyway. He doesn’t seem like one of those guys who just says stuff. He usually means it. I have no intention of blowing him off, though, but I’m not blowing off this opportunity either. “I actually have plans tonight. So, let me get with him, and then I can see you later.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” he says and I quirk my brow.
“I don’t,” I say even though Jace is still staring at me. I mean, he isn’t my boyfriend, so I don’t know why I feel awkward for saying that. It’s the truth. I don’t even want a boyfriend.
Right?
“Oh. Cool.”
“Yeah, see ya, Todd.” I wave as he walks away before I go back to packing up.
“So I have competition? Cool.”
Glancing over at Jace, my lips curve. “What in the hell are you talking about?”
His eyes are playful. “Your fan there, he clearly wants you.”
Laughing, I roll my eyes. “Please, be real.”
“One hundred percent real, right here.”
“Whatever.” I wave him off before I stand.
“Don’t believe me, it’s cool. But I’m not backing down to that dude.”
Narrowing my eyes, I shake my head. “You have nothing to worry about.” He eyes me suspiciously and I roll my eyes again.
“But I’m not your boyfriend,” he supplies, his eyes burning into mine and I nod.
“You’re not.”
“But would a ‘friend’ do this?”
Before I can even move, he reaches out and takes me by the front of my jeans, pulling me to him as his arm snakes around me. I can’t even catch my next breath before his mouth is on mine, devouring me. Just like they did last night, his kisses take me out of this world. My heart speeds up in my chest, my stomach clenches, and everything is hot. So freaking hot. I wrap my arms around his neck and he deepens the kiss, his tongue playing with mine in such a stimulating and fulfilling way.
Leaning me back, he holds me to him as he kisses me. I swear it feels like he is trying to become one with me. Absorb me inside of him. And I don’t think I’d stop him. His kisses are sinful and perfect, and when he pulls away, I go to my toes, pressing my lips back to his, unable to get enough. His fingers dig into my sides, his heart rattling my chest, it’s beating so hard.
“Get a room,” someone calls out. I think it was Markus, and I grin against Jace’s lips as his hands hold my hips tightly.
Opening my eyes, I find that his are still closed, his mouth so close to mine as his nose rubs against mine in the purest way. He is so beautiful with the way his dark lashes touch his cheeks and how hot his lips are against mine. Finally, he opens his eyes and they are so dark, I’d almost argue they aren’t even green. His gaze is intense and hits me straight in the chest. Everything inside me wants to hold on to him and never let go.
Give him all of me.
But whoa, no. Calm down, killer.
This is too intense.
“I’m pretty sure you’re wearing my lipstick now,” I say as I reach up, running my thumb along his lips to wipe it off.
“Good, maybe then that singer guy won’t try to steal ya from me.” He doesn’t even smile. He’s serious and I’m breathless.
Blinking, because what the hell do I say to that, I just look at him. How did this get so intense? Ah, who am I kidding? It was intense the moment I met him.
“Let’s go,” I say, still trying to catch my breath. His hand slides into mine as I pull away, but I don’t get far before his other hand catches my chin.
“You did great, Avery. I’m thoroughly impressed by you.”
A grin pulls at my lips as I lean into his hand. “Well, thank you. It’s easy to say you were my biggest fan.”
He nods, his own lips curving. “That’s my plan.”
He presses his lips to mine softly but only for a second before he reaches for my guitar and looks at me. “Ready?”
No. I’m not. But I don’t tell him that. I can’t.
I mean, how do you tell someone you’re unable to move because you’re trying not to fall like a sack of boulders for them?