“Do you think I’m good enough to start querying to record labels?”
Looking up from where he is shoveling food into his mouth, Jace nods. “Yeah, for sure.” I give him a look and he grins. “What? You look superhot today. I like your boobs.”
“Focus, Jace. Up here,” I say, pointing to my eyes, but his gaze is on the cleavage my shirt is providing him with. The V-neck cuts down way lower than I usually wear, giving him one hell of a view, but I loved it when I saw it at the campus boutique. While the front only shows boobs, the back has the emblem for the Bullies in pretty glitter.
Yes, I said glitter.
And yes, I’m wearing my boyfriend’s team’s shirt.
I’m now that girl.
“So if you weren’t sleeping with me, you would think I was good enough to query?” I ask, even though I doubt he’s listening. He’s looking at my boobs like he’s going to eat them the way he’s eating his sub.
Finally, he looks up, his eyes playful. “Yeah, Av, seriously. You’re amazing.”
Grinning, I wiggle my shoulders as I tighten the strings of my guitar. “Okay. I think I’m gonna do it.”
He nods. “Okay, let me know if you need help.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“Because you know, I do some wicked backup vocals. Plus, I’ve got some mean-ass beats. I got you.”
I shudder in horror. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.”
He grins and I smile back until I hear, “Hey, guys. Avery, you almost ready?”
I nod and don’t miss the way Jace glares at Todd, which only makes me smile more. “Almost, I’ll meet you back there.”
“Cool,” he says with a grin and then walks away without another word. I glance back at Jace, and he’s still glaring. His face kills me, and I still can’t believe that only two days ago I could have lost him. It was all my fault, I know that, but I shut down, unable to own up to the fact that I hid who my dad was. I’m just so used to doing it that I did it to the one person I care about. I still feel bad about it. Jace, though, all he cares about is moving forward.
“So is Todd going to be backup vocals?” he asks, emphasizing Todd’s name in a snide way.
“No,” I say simply, moving my fingers down my strings.
“Good. And you know, you’re lucky I’m confident and not jealous of you two singing together.”
I scoff. “You are jealous.”
He waves me off. “No proof of that.”
“Jace, you’re glaring at him like he stole your hockey stick and set it on fire.”
He rolls his eyes. “Please, he couldn’t get near my sticks, for one. And for two, I’m sure my look is more along the lines of ‘Don’t touch my woman.’”
I grin. “Fine, whatever. He means nothing.”
“Damn right, and you best believe he couldn’t make you scream or squirm the way I do,” he says, reaching under the table, his fingers dancing along the inside of my thighs. Unlike before, when I would tense up, now I only giggle and bat away his hand. It’s so great to be able to enjoy his touches and not freak out that he could find out about my scars because he already knows and accepts me. I kind of wish I would have told him sooner, that I would have let him in. I think I underestimated him, and I regret that.
Maybe if I hadn’t been so hung up on the fact that no one could love me, I could have enjoyed him the way I am now, sooner. Because now… God, I’m in bliss. Like pure, unadulterated harmony. The last couple days have been perfect and everything I’ve ever wanted. I always wanted that fairy-tale love, and I think I got it. He completes me, fills the holes and the dents inside me, and I couldn’t ask for someone to be so in tune with me.
He’s my song.
But yet, Friday night continues to weigh heavily on me.
I still can’t shake that I sort of lied to him. When he asked if there would be any more surprises, I said no, because I feel what happened with Caleb shouldn’t be a surprise. I feel like it shouldn’t ever come up, and I’m okay with that. I’m starting to let it go, or at least I hope I am. I need to. One of the things Dr. Glasscoy said was to banish the whole thing from my head and enjoy what is looking at me daily.
That’s Jace.
So while I think I should tell him, I feel like that’s going backward. I want to shoot forward. I want to live and I’ve got to let go of my past. I’ve got to let go of the pain Caleb caused, and I’ve definitely got to let go of the pain my family has put me through. They don’t want me, fine. Jace does, and that’s everything to me.
“So after the show, you got plans?”
I look up, his dark, lust-filled gaze locking on mine. “Nope.”
“Good, Markus has a date tonight. So I was thinking I could take you back to my place and make you scream my name for a couple of hours.”
Breathless, I grin as I shrug. “How? Playing Mario Kart ’cause you’re a cheater?”
He glares, his eyes still so dark as a grin pulls at his lips. “I don’t cheat. I’m a winner at all I do. Especially when I’m between those thighs of yours,” he says so low and so dirty that heat gathers between those very thighs.
Swallowing hard, I look away, shaking my head. “Jeez, Jace, I’ve got to go onstage.”
“Yup, and while you’re singing with that dude, you’ll be thinking of me.”
Standing up, I roll my eyes. “I always think of you.”
He grins, reaching for me and pulling me into his lap. Lord, he’s hard. Wrapping one arm around his neck since my other is holding my guitar, I lean my head toward his as he says, “Good, but just to be sure, I can’t wait to have you in my mouth, my fingers—”
“Jace Ryan Sinclair!”
He only grins, his eyes sinful as his arms tighten around my waist. “Fine, fine,” he laughs, his lips traveling up my neck. “Hurry up so I can take you home.”
I close my eyes as his lips travel up my neck then along my jaw before taking my lips with his. Falling deeply into the kiss, I don’t want to do anything else but be right here. In his arms, his mouth moving with mine. When I pull back, his eyes sparkle with desire, and I swear, I’ll never feel anything like what I feel right now. This all-consuming kind of feeling that is putting me on the edge but also on top of the world.
Because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.
The reason I say pretty sure is because something is holding me back. The last time I loved someone, I almost died from it, and that scares me. Scares me to let go of that control and allow myself to fall so damn hard for him. But I’m finding I can’t control what I feel for him. That these feelings are out of control and I should just accept it. Embrace it because there won’t be another love like ours. People beg to feel like this about someone. Hell, they write songs about it. And as I fall deeper into Jace’s eyes, I’m living all my favorite songs.
Cupping my face, he grins. “Got something to say?”
His eyes are challenging, like he knows what is going on in my head. It’s crazy how he does that. But I shake my head. “You’re hot.”
He smirks. “Duh.”
Rolling my eyes, I get up as he smacks my ass. I flash him a grin before heading toward the back. As I walk away, I feel his gaze on me and I love it. I love that no matter where we are, together or apart, I know he is thinking about me. That I matter to him. He couldn’t ignore me if he tried, and the same goes for me. I’m immersed in him and as much as it worries me, losing that control, I wouldn’t trust anyone but him with my heart.
I mean, just look at the way he cares for his family. He calls Angie three times a week just to talk to her. About nothing. He just loves her. His mom, every day he talks to her. His siblings, the same. A day doesn’t go by when he doesn’t talk to his family, and I love that so much. It’s so beautiful and speaks volumes for the kind of person he is. He loves. With all his fucking heart, and I would be the luckiest girl in the world to be on the receiving end of that kind of love. He’s everything I never knew I could ever want or need.
Yeah, I need him.
Which might be pathetic in some people’s eyes, but in mine, it’s perfect. He makes me happy, and since I’ve never had that, I’m holding on tight. That does freak me out a bit. Am I grasping and holding on just because I’ve never had it, or is it real? I go back and forth asking that question. But when I look in his eyes or I see him across campus and he’s grinning ear to ear at the sight of me, or when he sits front row at all my gigs, or when he looks up at me from the ice, making sure I’m there, I can’t help but believe it’s real. That I found the one.
Grinning, I head to the back as Todd comes out. “Ready?”
I nod. “Yeah, let’s do this.”
“Awesome.”
We already set up and we were supposed to go on ten minutes ago, but, oh well. Jace got off late and I wanted to visit with him. I doubt Todd minds because he’s all smiles.
I follow him onto the stage, and the crowd is a little less packed than normal tonight, but I don’t care. I’m not worried about anyone but the guy three tables back, devouring a sub. We start with Todd’s set, and I’m really only here to support him and make him sound better. I think I do that, but I can’t tell since Jace just looks bored. It’s obvious he doesn’t like Todd, and I think it’s funny. That a guy is actually so into me to be jealous of someone else. It makes me feel a certain way and I almost forget the words to Todd’s song, causing me to look away.
Like I thought before, he’s a distraction.
When Todd’s set is over, we turn to the center, our guitars facing each other. With his gaze on me, he starts the intricate opening to “I Was Made For Loving You” by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran. It’s my favorite song right now. Mainly because it reminds me of Jace. As I join in, my fingers moving along the strings in unison with Todd’s, I start to sing, my eyes closed and the lyrics coming from my soul. I swear they wrote this song with Jace and me in mind. As I sing, a little grin on my face, I can’t help but wish it was Jace who was singing with me.
If he could sing.
As Todd joins me on the chorus, our voices blend so perfectly, I’m almost speechless at how awesome we sound. When he takes his part, I open my eyes to find that his eyes are locked on mine. There’s intensity in his eyes and maybe something more.
Jesus.
Looking out in the crowd as the chorus starts, I try not to laugh. I don’t know what he is thinking, looking at me like that. Yeah, the song is all about being in love, but Jace is it for me. I was made to love him. As my eyes lock with his, Jace’s mouth curves as his head moves to the beat of the music. I swear, he is hanging on every word coming out of my mouth. Almost like he has been waiting his whole life to hear me sing this song.
I hope he has.
Because I’ve been waiting to sing it to him.
I fall onto the bed beneath him, and his mouth takes mine as his fingers move up my ribs, cupping my breast. Hungrily, our mouths move together as he rubs his hard cock against my hot center, taking away my breath. Arching against him, I cry out when he takes my nipple between his fingers, squeezing hard, his mouth covering mine to capture my cries of desire. Moving my hands up his back, I dig my nails into his shoulders as our kisses become more urgent and a little sloppier.
Not that I care.
Pulling away, he bites into my bottom lip, a deep sound coming from the back of my throat before he lets go, a grin pulling at those wicked lips. Reaching for my shirt, he pulls it up and over my head. “You were so fucking hot tonight.”
Gasping for air, I grin as his fingers dance along my ribs. “Just take me.”
“Oh, I am. I just need you naked.”
He unhooks my bra and his eyes fall to my breasts as I say, “You too, get naked.”
Pulling his shirt up, I take him by his work pants, unbuttoning them and pushing them down his hips with his help. When he gets them off, along with his boxers, he throws them over the edge. I kiss up his chest, my eyes drifting shut from the intoxicating smell of coffee coming off his skin. Threading his fingers in my hair, he pulls my head back, capturing my mouth before he takes ahold of my breast. I’m throbbing for him, my body is on fire, and I have to have him in me. Pulling my mouth from his, I nibble down his jaw, his hands working to get my pants undone. But he doesn’t get far with my mouth distracting him.
“Fuck,” he breathes when I take his nipple between my teeth, biting lightly. His hands take me by the hips, squeezing me as I go on all fours, licking the head of his cock. “Oh, fuck me.”
“Trying,” I whisper against his cock before taking it in my mouth and moving my lips up and down him. Soon, he is thrusting into my mouth the way I wanted him to. Taking me by the back of my head, he is quickly fucking my mouth with an urgency that has me dripping down my thighs. My eyes are watering with each thrust, but I love it. Fucking love it. Each thrust is demanding as I suck him in and he pulls out, his sounds of pleasure encouraging me not to stop. I want to taste him, but soon he is stopping, pulling me up to kiss me.
“Jace,” I pout as he lays me down, pulling my jeans off. “I wanted you to come in my mouth.”
He pauses, my jeans at my knees, and says, “Really?”
I nod, a grin pulling at my lips. “Yeah.”
Pulling my jeans off, he throws them over his shoulder. But he pauses when his eyes fall on the scars on the insides of my thighs. I hadn’t realized the lights were on due to the white-hot desire coursing between us. I almost press my legs together to hide them, but then his fingers are tracing them before he looks up at me. “These don’t define you, Avery.”
My throat is thick with emotion as I nod slowly. “Okay.”
“You hear me? This isn’t you anymore.”
I nod with more force, tears stinging my eyes before he nods and goes back up on his knees. Pointing to his cock, he says, “As you were.”
I don’t think he realizes how much this moment means to me. I’m still out of breath, one side of my mouth quirking as I go back to all fours, opening my mouth for him. When he pushes his cock into my mouth, I close my eyes, the velvety smooth skin of him so good, I only want more. As he thrusts in and out of my mouth, his tempo increases. His hand wraps around my hair, pulling with each thrust, my name dropping off his lips in the most sinful way. When his hand comes around, squeezing my ass, I gag at how far he goes in, but then he is coming. Closing my eyes tightly, I don’t care about anything else but his come going down my throat and his guttural moan filling the room.
Satisfaction courses through my body as his cock throbs in my mouth. When I look up at him, God, he is beautiful. His body is covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his head hanging behind him as he sucks in air and lets it back out. “Good Lord,” he moans out as he backs away, his cock falling from my lips. “You hot little thing,” he teases as he squeezes my hair in his hand, my scalp burning from the roughness, but I crave it. Pulling my head back, he takes my mouth, his tongue searching, playing with my tongue, only making me wetter as I get lost in his kisses. When he pulls away, I whimper for more, but he shakes his head.
“Turn around.”
I go to roll onto my belly, but he stops me. “No, stay on all fours but with your ass this way.”
I do as he asks and I put my ass in the air, ready for him to enter me. But when his mouth is on my pussy with a vengeance, I cry out. He opens me up, his tongue moving along the inside of me, along the entrance of my pussy, fucking me ever so slowly. Gripping my hips, he fucks me with his tongue, his fingers biting into my ass as my shrieks become louder and I clutch the sheets for support. Trembling under the assault of his mouth, my whole body tenses up. But then he stops. I look back, but I don’t see him. I don’t have to wait long before I feel him, though. His head is between my legs and then he is pulling me down so I’m sitting on his mouth.
“Holy shit,” I cry out, my knees on either side of his head, my hands coming up to hold my breasts.
As he devours me, I shake with anticipation, ready to come, ready to release as his tongue flicks along my clit, making me wild with lust. He moves his fingers inside of me, and I jerk against him, the sensation too much but so freaking good. As he sucks my clit into his mouth over and over again, his fingers going deeper and deeper, I’m so high in the clouds, I’m unsure if I can come back down. But soon my body shakes with my orgasm and I quiver against his mouth as he continues to suck me through it. I thrash against his mouth, jerking from the overwhelming love he is bestowing on me. He chuckles as he stops, smacking me lightly against my clit.
“Jace,” I cry as he does it again.
“That’s right. Fuck, you taste good,” he murmurs against my lips before pushing me back up and hopping up behind me. Pressing my chest to the bed, he tangles his hand in my hair as he drops kisses down my back, sending shivers throughout my body. Closing my eyes, I try to collect myself as the sound of a tearing condom wrapper fills the room. When he enters me, I suck in a breath, my whole body tensing up from the invasion. But it’s welcome. Damn it, it’s so welcome. Taking me by my shoulders, he lifts me before he starts to pound into me, each thrust so hard and fulfilling I almost can’t handle it. I lift my ass so he can go deeper, his fingers digging into my shoulders as he pounds into me. And I’m gone. So fucking gone.
The smack of his body against my ass is like music to me and soon becomes my favorite sound ever. When I look back at him, he looks so beautiful and in the zone. But then he reaches for me, one hand holding my breast, his other hand finding my clit as his teeth sink into my shoulder. Crying out, I watch his face as he fucks me with his cock and his finger against my clit. He demolishes me, and I almost can’t stay up on all fours as he sends me into convulsions, my orgasm rocking my body so hard.
As he kisses my shoulder, I squeeze my eyes shut, his name falling from my lips as he pounds into me. It’s so damn good, such a tight fit as my body squeezes him. When I open my eyes, our gazes lock, and I feel it. We are falling even more for each other. I wonder if he feels it too. The euphoric, all-consuming feeling of his taking what he wants from me and my giving it to him. He can have it all. Everything.
With one hand at my hip, his other takes me by my chin, and then he is jerking into me, his own orgasm racking his body. His fingers bite into my jaw, but I just turn into his hand, biting his palm, causing him to cry out ever so perfectly. Pulling me against his chest, he takes my mouth with his, his hands holding me close as we get lost in our kisses. It was so frantic, so much need between us that I’m trembling against him. Squeezing me tightly, he kisses me once and then twice before pulling back to look at me.
He looks more than gorgeous, and I can’t even fathom how I got here. How I was able to get the most amazing, sweetest guy ever to want me. I mean, he’s just beautiful. His face is red, sweat dripping down his temple, and his lips swollen from our kisses. Kissing my nose, he leans his head against mine, sharing the same uneven breath with me. Just like we are one.
I don’t ever want anything else but this.
Holding my gaze, he cups my jaw, running his thumb along my bottom lip. “I loved the song you sang tonight.”
I laugh. “You rock my world and then you bring up a song?”
He grins, sucking in breaths. “The whole time you were singing, I just wanted you, but it was more than that. I love it.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, I almost thought it was for Todd, but then you looked at me like you are now, that hot, sex-kitten look, and I knew it was for me.”
“It was,” I whisper, our lips moving against each other not in a kiss, but just a feel. When he pauses, his eyes burning into mine, I smile. “What?”
Looking bashful, his eyes are blazing as he asks, “Does it feel like the first time, every time to you?”
I raise a brow. “What do you mean?”
“Like, do you get the butterflies still?”
I hadn’t until he said that, and as they go nuts in my gut, I nod. “I call them June bugs now.”
His forehead presses to mine and his eyes fall closed. “I hope that feeling never ends.”
“Me too.”
“I hope this never ends.”
I close my eyes and my heart skips a beat as I slowly nod against his head. “Me too.”