“So here is how this goes… We have three categories,” Markus says before taking a pull of his beer. “Tonight, it’s rap, love song, and duet.”
“Duet?” I ask, my fingers tracing the rim of my Jack and Coke. Apparently, the Bullies drink here with their fake IDs. I’m pretty damn sure that’s illegal, but I’m not complaining. The Gilroy is packed full of people—everyone and their mother are in this place, and it’s exhilarating. This is the first bar I’ve been to since I came to BU. Usually, we drink back at the Bullies’ house, so I’m excited to be out.
When I look over at Mekena, her eyes are wide as she looks around the room. I had texted her, inviting her out since I haven’t been hanging with her lately for one reason and one reason only: Jace Sinclair. But she tells me she doesn’t mind. She’s busy too, but she was quick to jump at the opportunity to come out with us tonight.
Probably to see Markus.
“Yeah, like you get a partner and sing together.”
“You’re my partner,” Jace says to me, and Markus yells out in protest.
“No way! That’s not fair,” he complains, but Jace just grins.
“Sorry for ya. She’d choose me anyway—we’re Javerying,” he says simply and Markus rolls his eyes.
“Dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. You’re either together or not; stop with that shit. Commit to my boy, girl! He’s a catch,” he says, shaking Jace’s shoulders, which makes him laugh as my cheeks redden a bit. But that’s probably from the booze. We’ve already done two sets of shots and I’ve drunk two Jack and Cokes. I’m somewhere between Buzzville and Drunktown, and I’m enjoying my stay.
Holding up her drink, Mekena adds, “Exactly.”
“You hush,” I demand and she grins. For Markus and probably everyone else in the world, our relationship status is dumb to them. But it works for me; I feel comfortable in it. Though, when Jace’s eyes meet mine, I know it isn’t working for him. That has me on edge. Clearing my throat and tearing my gaze from his, I look back at Markus. “Anyway, are there points?”
“Yup, loudest cheers get a point.”
I nod. “Cool. Who goes first?”
Markus looks at Mekena. “You wanna be my duet partner?”
I’m pretty sure Mekena just died. Her face turns bright red, her mouth parts as she looks at him with nothing but dreamy sunshine and roses in her eyes. “I’d love to.”
“Cool, let’s go pick a song,” he says, standing up and taking her hand.
Looking back at me, she mouths, “Oh my God,” and I can only laugh.
“So I take it she’s still into him?”
I laugh as I nod. “God, yes. It’s so sad. She won’t ask him out.”
“He doesn’t date,” Jace supplies with a shrug. “But then, at one point, I didn’t date. Oh, and I knew a girl named Diane who didn’t date either.”
I roll my eyes. “Shut up.”
Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he surrounds my chair from behind, kissing the back of my head. “You better kick ass up there. I’m not carrying this duet.”
I press my lips together to keep from laughing. “Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“I mean, I will. Being as amazing as I am, I’m used to getting points for the team.”
“Good Lord,” I groan and he smiles against the back of my head as his fingers dance along my collarbone. “That ego is bursting at the seams, Jace Sinclair.”
“Nah, it’s good.”
“Okay,” I laugh as he kisses my jaw.
“You look hot tonight,” he whispers against the spot below my ear. Before we came out tonight, I went back to my dorm to get Mekena and changed into a long maxi dress with long sleeves down to my wrists. It is comfortable and I am tired of wearing jeans. While Mekena is wearing a very short skirt, I gave those days up when I used my thighs as a cutting board. I never thought I would regret it one day when I was doing it, but then I didn’t think I was going to live long either.
But I am.
And I’m happy.
“Thanks,” I say, leaning into him.
“You smell good too,” he says huskily, and heat burns between my thighs.
“Jace, are we gonna make it through this?”
Grinning, he brushes his hand against my breast before holding me under my arm. “Not sure yet. I’m considering taking you into the bathroom.”
“Um, no. You challenged me to some karaoke of death. We are karaoke’ing.”
“Fine,” he complains against my temple. “But you are coming home with me tonight.”
Moving his nose along my jaw, he bites softly into my neck, and I gasp, my body tingling with want. “Mm. I don’t think you even need to ask.”
“Good, I wasn’t going to anyway.”
Grinning, I turn my head, taking his lips with mine. Holding my face, he kisses me with so much feeling, I am overwhelmed in seconds. I can feel his kiss in my toes, my whole body on fire for him. He consumes me.
When we part, he’s looking deep into my eyes, and soon I can’t breathe. I’m gasping for breath as my eyes fall shut a bit, his lips moving ever so slowly against mine. It’s always like this with him, so fucking intense. But so fucking perfect. He kisses my bottom lip, and I swear I’m a second from letting him take me right here, but then he’s whispering something along my lip.
I don’t hear him. “What?”
He meets my gaze, and his eyes are so tender, so sweet, that again, I can’t breathe. I’m lost. Completely lost, and I’m pretty sure I never want to be found as long as I’m lost in Jace Sinclair’s eyes. “I want to ask you something,” he says again, this time louder.
“Yeah?”
He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple moving up and down, but his eyes never leave mine. I can tell he wants to say something, something intense and real, but all he is doing is searching my eyes and I’m confused.
“Jace?”
But he shakes his head before looking away. “Never mind, Markus and Mekena are going on.”
As my brows touch, I stare at the side of his face while Markus and Mekena start to sing “FourFiveSeconds” by Kayne, Rihanna, and Paul McCartney. He’s laughing, but I know it doesn’t reach his eyes and I know he wants to say more. Reaching out, I take his jaw in my hand and turn his face. When he looks at me expectantly, I ask, “What were you going to say?”
He shakes his head. “Later.”
I glare. “I don’t want to wait.”
He grins. “Gonna have to. Can’t do that here.”
I eye him skeptically, but then Markus steals my attention when he starts to sing. He’s good, and so is Mekena. They are cute and I’m sure she wanted to sing a love song, but she seems to be having a good time, which is what I wanted. I miss her and our friendship, but I’ve allowed Jace to take over my life. Which is probably bad since I did this before. I blew off all my friends for Caleb, and in the end, I had no one. Who could blame them?
But, that won’t happen with Jace.
I have to stop thinking like that.
Clearing my throat, I watch as Markus and Mekena kill it onstage. When they finish, everyone is clapping and cheering them on, and I grin as Jace takes my hand. As our fingers lace together, Caleb and the past are nowhere to be found and all I see is Jace.
He’s the light.
“Come on, our turn,” he says, pulling me out of my chair and toward the stage. “Now remember, you can’t suck.”
I laugh because what else can I say to that? He’s insane. When we reach the stage, he picks the song and I’m a little stunned by his choice. I raise an eyebrow and he smiles as he says, “I love that song.”
“The Beatles are the best band ever.”
“So you know it?”
“Duh.”
“Awesome, I listened to them growing up, know every song by heart.”
Which is so fucking hot. A dude who knows the Beatles by heart? Yeah, sign me up. Wait, that means I’m committing, right?
Crap.
Shaking my head, I say, “Jude and Lucy, named after them, I assume?”
“Yup, I was supposed to be Rocky after ‘Rocky Raccoon,’ but my dad hated it.”
I grin to keep from agreeing with his father and Jace laughs. “Yeah, it’s bad. But still, it would have been cool.”
“Yeah, for sure,” I say just as the guy gives us the go-ahead. “You ready?”
“Um, duh. But the question is, are you ready?”
Rolling my eyes, I push him and he laughs as he leads me up onstage. The countdown to the Across the Universe version of “Don’t Let Me Down” by the Beatles starts, and I wait until it’s time to start the song, and I begin. I love this song, have listened to it a billion times, and even know how to play it. As I expect, the crowd quiets and then the cheering starts. Jace stands there, a big grin on his face as I sing. But when it’s time for him to go, I watch him pause before he opens his mouth.
And then the most godawful noise comes out of his mouth.
It’s like nails-on-a-chalkboard bad, and he knows it! He’s grinning so hard, I want to smack him, yet he keeps going. His confidence, the way he struts as he sings, has the crowd going nuts. Even Markus is cheering him on while I stand there dumbstruck. Where is this amazing voice he spoke of, and why am I so attracted to him right now?
When he comes toe–to-toe with me, singing his heart out, I can only look at him in complete puzzlement before I start to sing. Our voices blend together, badly, mind you, but he is getting it. Singing with all the gusto of Freddie Mercury. It’s insane! All I can think is, holy crap, this is so bad and I should be embarrassed, but I’m not.
I’m blissful.
And he is amazing. Bad singing and all.
As the song ends, I glare at him as he wraps his arms around my waist, kissing me loudly on the lips, which only makes the crowd cheer louder. Shaking my head as we part, I accuse, “I thought you said you were good.”
He grins. “I am!”
“Jace!” I say incredulously and he just laughs.
“Don’t try to bring me down. Go, I’m going next.”
“Seriously?”
He nods. “Um, yeah, I’m working the crowd. Don’t be jealous they like me more.”
Gasping, I break from his arms as he shoots me a wicked grin. “You’re impossible!”
As I walk down the stairs, handing the mic to the guy, Jace’s voice runs down my spine as he whispers into the mic, “Now, for my next song, I want to dedicate this to my Rose. My Avery Rose.”
I turn when I reach the table, and his eyes are locked on me as he lets out a long breath, the guitar starting in the background. I know the song. I mean, I’m pretty sure everyone does. But I don’t know why he is dedicating “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” to me. It’s about breaking up, so how is it a love song? I’m completely confused and so is Markus. That is, until Jace sings the chorus.
He’s changing the words from “Every Rose” to “Avery Rose,” and I’m mortified as Markus falls off his chair laughing. Even Mekena is dying while I just stand there, so damn embarrassed I don’t know what to do.
Until finally, I just laugh.
Soon, I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe and I’m crying from the hilarity of the situation. He is unreasonable and crazy. I’ve never had someone sing a song to me, or even dedicate one, and I’ve most definitely never had a guy change the lyrics to fit my name. Even if the song is an old rock song about breaking up with some girl.
But it’s for me.
As he sings into the mic like he is Bret Michaels himself, with the bandanna and shit-kicking boots, all I can do is shake my head, wiping my tears away.
Man, this guy.
Shit…
I think he stole my heart.
Or wait, did I give it to him?
Sliding up my body, he trails his lips along my chest as he brings the skirt of my dress up, falling between my legs. I’m lost in his kiss and more than a little drunk. We had a blast, an utter blast of very bad singing from Jace, and lots of drinking. He somehow beat me, but I’m pretty sure it’s because he took his shirt off during his rap song. He really thought he was Eminem up there, and for a second, I almost believed he was. His confidence is something I can’t help but be jealous of. He’s intoxicating.
And mine.
All mine.
Arching into him as he nibbles on my neck, I close my eyes, feeling on top of the world. He does something to me, something so crazy that all I can do is hold on and hope I don’t fall. But I am. I’m falling hard, and no matter how hard I’m scraping the sides, trying to keep myself from doing just that, I can’t hold on. I can’t grasp anything because he makes it too easy. Too perfect.
Hungrily, we kiss, our hands everywhere, and I can’t get enough. When his hands slide up my thigh, taking ahold of my panties and pulling them down, I’m so gone. I’m shaking with want as his fingers enter me, his moans mixing with mine as our lips crash together. Fucking me slowly with his thick, talented fingers, he uses his mouth to torment me just as much as his fingers are. Curving his fingers inside me, he speeds up, taking my breath and bringing me to the edge. Falling over, I cry out against his lips, before his mouth is back on mine, catching my cries of pleasure.
Sucking in a breath as his mouth trails down to my shoulder, I lengthen my neck for him, unable to completely regulate my breathing. Hell, that was good and he is obviously not done with me yet. Pushing my skirt up around my waist with his hand, he tugs it away as he nibbles on my jaw. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Smiling against his lips, I slowly open my eyes, my hands coming up his back, pulling his shirt up and over his head. As my eyes drink in every single detail about his body, like they do every single time we’re like this, I can’t believe how awestruck I am by him. He says I’m beautiful, but really, he is the gorgeous one.
His body is a temple of sex, and I want to fall to my knees in front of it and praise him for the rest of my existence.
But then I realize the lights are on.
Shit.
“Hey, shut the lights off.”
He shakes his head, though, coming back down to me, his mouth on my neck, my collarbone. “No, I want you now,” he says, sitting up, and I try to slam my legs together. But he is in the way. Panic settles in my chest as I bring my skirt down, covering my thighs as much as possible.
“No, really, please.”
But he is undoing his pants, sheathing himself with the condom he grabbed when we were making our way up to the bunk. Then he is fully sheathed, his cock looking ever so delicious, but I can’t get distracted by that. I have to get these lights off, no matter how much I want to just stare at his naked body. Looking down at me, he brings his brows together as our gazes meet. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Shut the lights off.”
“Why?” he asks, falling between my legs, pushing them back before entering me with one thrust. “I’m already in,” he whispers against my jaw. “Fuck, you feel so damn good.”
But I’m panicking.
I can’t even focus on what he is doing because I’m scared he’ll see. Pushing my legs back farther, he thrusts into me, his breath hot on my face, his fingers digging into my ribs. But all I can do is try not to cry. I know he is going to see. Just stop him, I tell myself, but I can’t. I’m frozen.
But as he moves his cheek along mine, sitting up to look down at me, he stops. “Avery? What’s wrong?”
I only shake my head, though, closing my eyes. He cups my face.
“Am I hurting you?”
“No.”
“Then what’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?”
I can’t answer him because, while I do, I don’t. I want to continue. I want to be normal, but I can’t stop thinking about what he could see.
“Answer me,” he demands, and I slowly open my eyes, my heart pounding so hard it hurts as he makes our gazes meet. “What the hell is wrong?”
“I want the lights off,” I whisper and his brows crash together in worry.
“Why, though? I love looking at you,” he says roughly, his lips moving against mine. “You’re beautiful, Avery.”
And I believe him, but I can’t shake this anxiety that is eating me alive.
“Please.”
His eyes search mine for maybe another second, and then he gets up. Quickly, I pull my skirt down as he climbs down the ladder, hits the lights, and then gets back in bed. As he covers my body with his, I wait for him to get back inside me, but he frames my face, running his thumb along my jaw. “I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”
“Yeah, sorry,” I say, sucking in a deep breath.
He pauses. “I’m really sorry. I should have listened. I’m a little drunk.”
“It’s fine,” I say quickly. But it isn’t. My heart is still pounding against my ribs and I feel sweat dripping down my back. I feel like I’m going to puke, and I hate it. I hate how I feel right now.
Continuing to move his thumb along my jaw, he rolls off me and pulls me against him. Confused, I look up at him, the light from the street lamp shining into the room and glowing against his face. “You don’t want to finish?”
He shakes his head. “No, I want to hold you.”
“Jace, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I don’t know why, and I hate that. But I’m sorry, and I just want to hold you until you feel better.”
Closing my eyes, I feel my lip start to wobble as I cuddle into him. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he said sternly, his arms swallowing me up.
Relaxing against him, I nod. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Just relax.”
“No, really, I’m sorry,” I say as my heart continues to pound in my chest. “I’m all kinds of messed up.”
He shakes his head, though. “Just be quiet. Calm down, your heart is pounding so hard, it’s hurting my chest.”
I press my lips together as a tear rolls down my cheek and off my chin. I feel him tense up, but I can’t stop. And soon the tears are falling in streams down my face, but he just holds me tighter, his lips in my hair. Closing my eyes tightly, I hate that I’ve done this. That I’m weak and pathetic.
“I’m really sorry,” he whispers, and it kills me.
“You did nothing wrong.”
“I should have listened.”
“No, it’s my fault. I have this thing about the lights,” I say as I suck in a breath.
“I know, and I didn’t respect that. I’m sorry.”
“Please stop saying that,” I beg and his arms come tighter around me, his lips at my brow.
“I can’t help it. I just don’t want to lose you,” he whispers, and everything inside me stops. I’ve wanted someone to say that to me my whole life, and he just did. But I can’t enjoy it like I want to because I’ve fucked this all up. I have to let this go. I have to before I have an anxiety attack and then really let my freak flag fly. I think he feels that I am about to lose it, because his arms gather me closer, his forehead coming to mine as his breath mixes with mine.
I can taste the beer he drank, but that doesn’t intoxicate me. No, it’s the way his words are vibrating off him in waves. I can feel them deep inside me, all around me, and I love them. Soon, I hear nothing but the sound of my heart as it slows in my chest. I feel safe in his arms, and my anxiety is gone; guilt replacing it. I shouldn’t have freaked out like this, and most of all, he shouldn’t feel like it’s his fault. I need to get it together.
And quick.
Before I lose him.
Sucking in another deep breath, I open my eyes to find him watching me, his thumb moving up and down my arm. “You okay?” he asks gently.
I nod. “Fine. I’m really sorry. Kind of freaked there.
He shakes his head. “It’s fine. I got you.”
He presses his lips against my nose before he lets me go to remove the condom, throwing it in the trash. When he comes back, I haven’t moved because I’m still reeling from what he just said.
He’s got me.
Wow.
Okay.
Before I can say anything or even move, he’s wrapping me back up in his arms. Holding on to him, I press my head to his chest and listen to his heartbeat as I really think over what he just said. This guy, this man, took my crazy and went with it. He may ask questions, but he is more concerned with how I feel than satisfying his curiosity. He’s got me. Meanwhile, I’m over here, holding back on him.
How is that fair?
“Jace?”
“Yeah?”
“What were you going to ask me at the bar?”
I feel him smile as his lips move along my cheek. “Wait till tomorrow, when I’m not so drunk.”
“I want to know now.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long minute and I think he’s fallen asleep, but then he whispers, “I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend. I don’t want to wait anymore, and if you reject me, then I’ll deal.”
I knew that was it, which is why I asked now. “Really?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry about that. We’re good.”
“No,” I say, pulling back to look at him. “Ask me.”
“What?” His eyes are full of disorientation, and I can feel his heart beating harder in his chest.
“Ask me to be your girlfriend.”
Eyeing me, he looks uncertain as he asks, “What are you going to say?”
“Ask and find out,” I challenge and his grin only grows.
“Don’t reject me.”
Shaking my head, I lean my head to his chin. “Just ask me.”
Reaching up, he takes my face in his hands before tilting it up to look at me. He chews on his lip, his eyes searching mine as I wait. My heart has stopped, my next breath is nowhere to be found, and I can’t wait much longer.
Thankfully, I don’t have to before he whispers, “Avery Rose, will you be my girlfriend? Leave the Javery zone behind and be mine?”
As I cup his jaw, there is only one word I can say to him.
I feel it, deep in my soul, and I know that it is true.
“Yes.”