Chapter Thirty-One
Tucker
I spent a long time with my father in the library when we got back to the ranch. Long enough that I was afraid I’d have to spend the night after all, instead of going home like I’d planned. Libby didn’t have a father to ask permission for her hand. I didn’t even know if that was appropriate for a divorced woman. So, I talked to my dad about the possibility of proposing, and being a father without the usual nine-month adjustment period.
“What kind of father do you think you’ll be?” He asked me, and I shrugged.
“Every time I think about it, I just feel so overwhelmed,” I confessed. “When we’re hanging out together, and I don’t think about it, we have a great time. She’s my little buddy.” He smiled.
“I think you’ll be okay, Tucker. No parent is perfect, even with an adjustment period. You’ll pick it up as you go, same as anyone else.” He paused and scrubbed his pam over his beard. “My only advice, would be to take a cue from her mom. Watching her, it’s easy to see that she’s got it under control, and she’s a really good mom.” I had to agree, she made it look effortless. It was hard not to feel intimidated watching her.
“I’m not going to lie. I’m more nervous about starting a family than I am about the hearing. You’d take me back on as a ranch hand if I got fired, right?” He laughed and shook his head.
“Not a chance. But I will give you a chunk of your inheritance, if you want to make Libby’s wedding something truly special.” I started to argue, but he waved me silent. “It’s your inheritance, which makes it up to you. But your mother and I already agreed that you should have the option. We also discussed that little miss Olivia should stay here for the honeymoon, if Libby was okay with that.” I opened and shut my mouth, gaping like a fish on a dock.
“You and Mom have put more thought into this than I have. Definitely more than Libby has. She’s been in survival mode for so long, I finally saw her relax for the first time tonight.” I shook my head. “I would’ve thought knowing someone had tried to get into her house would have freaked her out. Instead, she seemed relieved it wasn’t her fault.” I paced the library floor touching the old, familiar books as I sorted my thoughts.
“You don’t have to decide tonight, Tucker. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. Take your time, figure out exactly what you want. You’ve waited so long to have what you know you need. Longer than Danny, and we thought he’d never marry.” I laughed and ran my fingers through my hair and made a mental note to get a haircut before no one would believe I had a law degree.
“I appreciate the offer, Dad, really. But unless she wants the Cirque du Soleil to perform at the wedding, or suddenly decides to invite all of Austin, I don’t think we’ll need it.” I paused, then added, “but, if we get married, it would be nice to beef up Olivia’s college account.”
“And that is why you shouldn’t be worried what kind of father you’ll be,” he said, pointing at me with one brown, leathery finger.
“Thanks, Dad.” I checked my watch and groaned. “I have to get going. I had no idea it was so late already.” I held out my hand across the desk and my dad shook it. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, as soon as I know what’s going on.” He frowned, then nodded as he realized I’d shifted gears back to work and the Ethics Committee.
“Give ‘em hell, son,” he chuckled. “George and Callie are coming up for dinner tomorrow, so don’t be late.” I bowed at the neck and flashed him a grin, then went on a house-wide search for Kennedy to take her out for her evening walk. One look from Olivia when we’d walked in the house had been enough to convince me to leave Kennedy behind and come back for her the next day, but I had to get in one last belly rub before I went back to Austin alone.
Kennedy was in the great room, tucked in a ball next to Olivia and Rachel. Olivia had fallen asleep in my sister-in-law’s arms. I scooped her up and held her small body against my chest, breathing in the smell of soap and milk and whatever it was that made me feel so protective of her. There was something primal in me that wanted to roar into the darkness and warn the monsters out there that this little one was mine, and I would die, or kill, to protect her.
The fierceness of the emotion I felt holding Olivia made my blood hum, and I felt the sting of unmanly tears as I turned toward the stairs. Libby waited for me with her back against the newel post with a curious look on her face. As I watched, the half-smile fell away and tears slid silently down her cheeks, before she quickly brushed them away.
“You look like a pro at that,” she whispered. “I wish you weren’t the first man to hold her, but I’m glad she will have felt safety like that.” She gestured with her head toward the stairs and I followed her to the top. The blind rage I felt towards my best friend in that moment chased all logical thought from my mind.
“I wish he wasn’t dead, so I could hurt him,” I admitted to Libby once we had tucked Olivia into the far side of the queen size bed. “Is she okay there?” I added as she turned toward the wall in her sleep.
“I’m glad you don’t have to beat up my dead ex-husband, Tucker,” she replied, taking my face in her hands and turning me away from the sleeping little girl. “She’s fine. I put her against the wall so she won’t fall out. I’ve done this before, you know.” I remembered what my father had said about Libby being a good mom.
“I know you have. You make an impression, in fact, with the job you do with her.” She smiled and pulled my face closer to hers for a chaste kiss.
“Stay for a minute.”
I looked from her to the bed. “And do what?”
She snorted and shook her head. “Just lie down with us and hold me for a minute, will you? I’m not asking you to lift your ban in front of my daughter, for God’s sake.” I felt my face get warm.
“I knew that. I just meant, is there room for all three of us?” She laid down in the center of the bed and tucked her arm around Olivia, spooning her from behind. I joined her and did the same, resting my hand lightly on Libby’s hip as I pressed up against her back, sharing her pillow.
“I wish I was staying,” I whispered to her. She reached back and patted my thigh.
“When it’s all done, we can have a cuddle party at my place. There’s nothing like cuddling your kid, in bed with a movie. I’ll even invite Kennedy.”
“Deal,” I replied, and leaned in to kiss her neck. “But I really do have to go. Can Kennedy stay with you for the night?” She chuckled softly.
“And here I thought you were just being loving. Yes, of course your ‘daughter’ can have a sleepover with my daughter.” I kissed her again and got Kennedy from my room. Libby hadn’t moved, and Kennedy jumped right up and laid down at Olivia’s feet, turning in circles and settling down with a doggy sigh.
I snuck in a last kiss before realizing that Libby had fallen asleep on top of the covers, still holding Olivia. I took the afghan off the chair in the corner and draped it over her and tucked it in around her back, to keep her from getting cold. I nodded to Kristy as I left the room, and flashed her a smile when she wished me luck. I may not have understood Libby’s reasons for inviting Kristy into her and O’s lives, but the young woman was growing on me as I watched the way she treated them. I thanked her, and let her know Kennedy was in the room with our girls, so she wouldn’t be surprised if she went in.
Danny was waiting for me on the wide front porch when I got there, an energy drink in his hand. He handed it to me silently, and grinned when I thanked him.
“Don’t want anything to happen to you now. You finally topped me for favorite son, at least until the baby is born. Mom’s in love with little Olivia. She said if you don’t marry Libby, she’s going to force Logan to.” I laughed and shook my head to erase the mental image of my younger brother marrying the woman I loved.
“Not a chance. She’d eat him alive,” I assured him. “I don’t know why I’m worried about the next few days. Honestly, the worst should be behind us. Nothing bad is going to happen now.” Danny clapped me on the back.
“You’re right. But now you have Libby and Olivia counting on you. You’re not worried about you, you’re worried about them.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “Trust me. I almost sold my truck. No, seriously. I was going to sell it, because it’s so hard to see a child backing up. That old thing doesn’t have a rear camera, you know.” I nodded slowly.
“But you’re keeping it?”
“Nah. It’s going to the back pastures, where the lift and dual tires will be handy. Dad found room in the ranch budget for three new trucks for the fleet, all with back-up cameras, for general use.” I laughed.
“You got not one truck, but three of them, citing infant safety?” Danny stretched, his arms above his head.
“And now you know why I got the ranch.” I laughed.
“I hear you, though. I feel… different when I’m around them. Like we’ve always been a family, and I would do anything to protect them.”
“Well, don’t you go blowing your top at Carl, then. You guys have a long and miserable history as it is. His peeping extracurriculars need to be handled in court, not with your fists.” I started down the stairs without answering. The truth was, I had no intention of risking one minute of my future with Libby and Olivia by punching the stuffing out of Carl Jameson. I couldn’t help it if I fantasized about it on the drive home, or dreamt of it that night. But there was nowhere better for me to attack him than in the courtroom. I was the better lawyer. The Committee needed to see that, no matter how satisfying the crunch of broken facial bones under my knuckles would’ve been.
I waved to him one last time as he watched me pull away from the house. He was going to be a great father, I had no doubt. Dad had been right. If I wanted to be a good parent, there was no better way than to watch and learn from Libby. I considered his suggestion that I ask Olivia if she was okay with me marrying her mom, and my heart hitched a little. If she said “no,” I would have to honor her feelings. I just didn’t think I could handle hearing it from her any more than I would from her mother.
The drive back to Austin was supposed to be an extra hour I spent going over arguments and framing answers for the partners, who would surely want to see me ready for the hearing when they met with me the next day. Instead, my mind was on Libby. She deserved happiness and joy and contentment in her life. I had always been a part of the hardships she faced. With the hearing and her judgment finally getting passed, we’d have a chance to leave it all behind and write a new chapter in the story of us. One where she was safe and loved and appreciated, and I was the man she looked to and trusted to lift her up when she needed it. Again, I felt a vague sense of unease in the pit of my stomach.
I could hope and wish for everything good in the world for Libby and Olivia, but my dad was right. There was a chance for something to go wrong in the hearing. My plan to dissociate the process from Carl’s manipulations could backfire. They could still lose their court case, and be out the money for their lawyers, and the cost of the countersuit. I breathed deep and squared my shoulders, as the lights of the city came into view.
There was nothing I could do to back out of my own choice now. No matter what, I had Libby and everyone at Lago Colina who would stand by me. If the worst happened, and there wasn’t a lawyer in Austin who felt the same, I would survive. As would Libby and company. Too bad that didn’t quash the heavy stone of worry in my gut or make me feel prepared for any of the consequences for the choices I’d made, professional or personal.
Tomorrow would define not only my career, but whether I got to start my family. If I couldn’t provide, then the conversation with my father was moot. Mentally, I pushed my doubts down deeper. I had turned a blind eye to Carl Jameson. I had even tried running away. He was a bully, and he’d come after Libby because of her connection to me, not to Andrew—of that, I had no doubt. I stiffened my spine. I had no choice but to answer his challenge, and that was exactly what I was going to do.