Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ashlee
Tuesday
I could barely cope as Matthew pressed his amazing frame up against me. Everything within my body sparked with an intense fire, swirling through my veins, into my stomach, zapping at my heart.
I was so glad that I’d come tonight, especially as things had taken such an amazing turn. I hadn’t been expecting it, but it felt incredible all the same. I’d come there with the intension of making things right with Matthew, of potentially taking about an us in the future, but I was not complaining about how things had turned out.
His hands were all over my body; he was feeling every single inch of me, which was probably very difficult for him because my clothes were still a little damp from the rain earlier on. That wasn't putting him off, though; he seemed to be as needy for me as I was for him, which made me feel incredible. Every tiny bit of self-doubt simply flew from my mind, leaving me with nothing but the sensations he was giving me.
“Let’s get you out of these wet clothes,” Matthew grinned against my mouth, sending an electric bolt of desire racing right through my body.
There was something so seductive about the way he said that; it had my heart thundering noisily in my chest. I pulled back from him, shooting him a smile before tugging my own dress up over my head. I knew Matthew liked my body, he liked the way I looked, so there was no reason to feel shy. “Oh my God, you’re so beautiful.”
He claimed me with his mouth once more, kissing me with even more passion than before. My ears buzzed with lust, my body pulsated with desire. I felt raw and animalistic. That only got worse when his fingers finally found the outline of my underwear, which he played with for a few moments, teasing me to the point where I couldn't take it any longer. He was driving me crazy, and my back arched with bliss, giving him permission to go in even deeper, which he did enthusiastically.
I felt myself go crazy as he pulled my underwear to one side, and he began passionately exploring my hot, wet desire. As his fingers massaged my insides, giving me the sensations that I’d been craving since the last time we were together, I gripped onto him tightly, digging my nails deeply into his back, clinging onto him for dear life.
“Oh my God,” I groaned, lolling my head to one side as he alternated between plunging deep inside of me and teasing my clit with his thumb. He was bringing me to the brink of desire already, and I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want to lose myself so quickly; I wanted to be able to explore him, too. “Stop,” I pleaded. “Not yet.”
I pushed him off me before sliding to the ground in an instant, not giving him even a moment to think. I knew what I wanted this time; I was sure of what I desired, and I didn’t want Matthew to dominate the situation once more.
I kissed him hard, spinning him around, slamming him against the wall, before descending to the ground. I wanted to taste Matthew, to feel him between my lips, and my heart pounded with excitement as I got closer to that fantasy coming true.
I unbuckled Matthew’s pants, pulling his thick, throbbing length free, and the involuntary moans that he emitted as I did that, made me feel incredible. I loved that I could turn him on, especially as I felt so damn boring after the adventurous sex life he’d clearly been living.
I moved my mouth closer to him, pursing my lips out until they were lightly brushing against his cock, and the intense tremble that started to rock through his body filled me with a confidence that this was good for him – that he was enjoying himself.
Then I placed one chaste kiss on his length. Then another, and another, just teasing him, glancing up to see his face as I drove him wild. As I watched his face contort in pleasure, I wanted more. I needed the full experience, so without even pausing to breathe, I wrapped my lips around him and I took him as far down the back of my throat as I could.
“Oh fuck,” he yelled out, running his fingers through my hair. “Fucking hell, Ashlee.”
I ran my mouth up and down his length, flicking my tongue all over him, and his entire body started to shake. It excited me, almost to the point where I got carried away, but just as I felt him growing dangerously close to the knife’s edge, I forced myself to pull away.
I didn’t want to, not when we were both enjoying it so much, but I knew that if I carried on in that way, I would not get to experience him inside of me, and once that the idea was in my mind, I really needed that.
As I moved my mouth off him and I stood back up with a cheeky grin, Matthew growled at me, took my hand roughly, and led me into the front room where it was a little warmer.
There, he kissed me hard and fast, walking me backwards until I fell onto the couch. I giggled as I tumbled back in an ungainly fashion, but from the look on Matthew’s face, he wasn't finding anything funny. He looked totally consumed by desire, totally swimming with passion, and that had my heart racing all over again.
As we began to kiss once more, his fingers worked their way around to my bra clasp, fiddling with it in an expert fashion until it fell from my body, freeing my breasts for him to touch. He used his fingers, his hands, his mouth, his tongue, so quickly, interchanging in a way that had my head spinning with happiness. Wild sensations crashed over me, leaving me a writhing mess underneath him. He was using my nipples in best way possible, in a way that I’d never experienced before, and I found myself loving every second of it.
Then he slowly and seductively moved down my body, kissing me all the way down, and as soon as he was near enough to my core, he tore my panties from me. They were only in the way; I needed them gone just as much as he did.
“Oh fuck,” I gasped out in sheer pleasure. “Oh my God.”
His breath on my entrance was driving me damn near insane, then he seemed to inch closer, moving in on what felt like his territory, and he claimed it in a shocking, fast-paced move. Suddenly, his tongue was everywhere: inside of me, over my clit, running up and down my slit. I wanted to scream out, to say something to him, but I was too breathless to even think, never mind speak.
“Oh shit,” I eventually burst out. “I... I need you.”
With that, he slid his mouth away from me and hovered above me. He gave me a quick look filled with a crazy fire, and then he thrust into me, knocking me backwards. He filled me up in a way that felt incredible, and from the angle he was slamming into me, he was brushing past my clit every single time, leaving me in heaven.
It seemed like every time we were together in this intimate way, we went into it with the full intention of being sweet and romantic with one another, but almost instantly that sizzling chemistry overtook and we just couldn't help ourselves. The magnetism between us was so strong, so intense, it completely consumed us every time.
As the hot pool of bliss spread over my body, and the orgasm tore right through me, I felt lost, consumed, overtaken by him. He was everything to me, and I never wanted us to end.
As the waves of pleasure violently rocked my body, I wanted to finally admit that I was in love with Matthew; it felt like the right moment to tell him, but I couldn't seem to get the words out no matter how hard I tried. They remained stuck in my brain, where I feared he would never get them.
As my breath started to come back to me, I considered saying it then, but another idea came to me instead. I shoved Matthew backwards, feeling cheeky and excited, until he fell onto the ground. There, I climbed on top of him and slid down onto his length. He bit his lip in lust as I sat up and rode him wildly, allowing him to see every inch of my body as we made love, and the happy look that took over his face made me feel incredible.
It was me doing that to him; it was me making him feel that way, and I honestly felt like we were starting something exciting and new. Sure, it would be familiar, but it would be different, too. We were adults now, going into this with our eyes wide open, and I truly believed that this would be the official start of it all, the relationship that would last forever more.
Eventually, Matthew yelled out in pleasure, exploding inside of me. As he trembled, yelled, and buckled, I lay on top of him and hugged him close, wanting to build our bond even more, and as we lay together, panting like crazy, I felt like I’d achieved that.
“Come on,” he whispered against my lips, kissing me lightly. “Let’s go to bed.”
He quickly fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, but I couldn't seem to switch my brain off. Ever since the euphoria subsided, all I found myself left with was a deep uncertainty. I couldn't seem to stop myself from feeling insecure. For some reason, all those stupid stories in the press kept running through my mind, over and over again. How could I keep up with a man who liked bondage and threesomes? What if I was only another fad and he eventually grew bored of me? I hated the fact that I was being so crazy in my mind, that my brain was making me so indecisive, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.
My initial instinct was to hide myself away, to run from Matthew once more, and to protect my heart, but I couldn't do that this time. This time I wanted things to be different, I wanted to be more open. As scary as that was, I was going to have to make myself do it. I would just have to be stronger than I’d ever been before.
I glanced over to his sleeping body, willing myself to be able to be vulnerable with him, to allow him to have my heart all over again. I wanted things to be back to the way they once were, when things were simple and easy in school, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. This time, if we got into it, it was going to have to be a whole lot different. We were going to have to acknowledge our past and put it behind us, accepting it without letting it control us. Especially me; I was the one who was allowing the past to still dictate my decisions.
In that instant, I wanted to shake Matthew, to wake him up, to finally tell him that I loved him, but I couldn't. Not yet. I would, though. One day.