Chapter Eighteen
Ashlee
Wednesday
It felt good to start settling into my brand-new role. In a weird way, I was already starting to feel like this was a job I’d been working in for a very long time, and that I’d never worked in any other office at all. All thoughts of my old life, the one that I’d been living in New York for a decade, simply fell away. This felt far more real to me than any of that ever had. Dan, Eileen, and the rest of the gang felt like invisible friends I’d had many moons ago.
It was strange to think that it had only been a few days.
I swung the door open quickly, clicking my heels along the floor. My mind was already zoned in on work, on everything that lay out in front of me, and all the new plans I’d been creating for patients in my mind. It seemed like word had spread about my services, and I was quickly becoming inundated with new people. Just the way I liked it.
“Hi,” a bitchy voice rang out, causing my head to snap up in shock. Of course, I knew that Terri was going to be there; she did work there, after all, but I didn’t expect her to be in first. As I glanced around, though, it quickly became clear that Matthew was nowhere to be found. “How’s it going?”
“Erm...fine?” I replied anxiously, remembering how well our last conversation had gone. There was clearly something about me she didn’t like; she wasn't shy about letting me know that. “How are you?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” she replied, with a sneer to her tone. My heart started to race a little, expecting the absolute worst, and I was right to be fearful. That was about to become very clear with the next words that fell past her lips. “I’ve heard about you and Matthew.”
An icy chill ran through me, and I instantly felt my face heat up. How the hell had she heard anything? Did Matthew tell her? What the fuck was that all about? How embarrassing! “And I think that there are some things about him that you should know.”
Really? I’d known Matthew for most of my life. Okay, so we hadn’t exactly been close for the past few years, but this crazy chick thought that she could tell me something about him? I almost exploded, unleashing a whole bunch of pent-up aggression on her, before I forced myself to stop. My brain stepped in and reminded me that the smart thing to do would be to just give her the opportunity, just in case.
“You do, huh?” I tried to sound uncaring as I said this, but the wobble in my voice was evident. “Go on, then.” I folded my arms across my chest in a self-protective gesture while I waited.
“Well, first off, I think that I should tell you that he’s a massive womanizer.” I rolled my eyes at that one; how damn predictable for her to throw that one out there. Maybe it was true, maybe it wasn't; it certainly didn’t matter to me. I highly doubted that he would wreck our lifetime bond by pulling any of that shit on me. “Which I wish someone had told me before I started hooking up with him.”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times, unsure of what I should say back to that. It was clear from the pain radiating from her eyes that there was at least some element of truth to that, which tied me all up in knots. Maybe he had been acting like the heartless bastard in this case. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, at all.
“I mean, we’ve been screwing around with one another for a very long time now,” she shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about it. “I always assumed that we would eventually become something more serious. I thought that we were heading that way.”
God, was I about to hear some crazy break up story? Something to reveal her as the twisted, bitter bitch she might be? I took a step back, not wanting to deal with that right then. I had no idea what I would even say.
“But I suppose I should have known better. I guess the fact that he’s never bothered with his own child should have been clue enough that he would never be in it for the long term.”
My eyes snapped up at that, my heart stopping. Did she just say what I thought she did? That Matthew had a child? Holy fuck, I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that one. I wouldn’t even know what to do.
Seeing that I was stunned by this news, a tiny smirk played on Terri’s lips. It was only for a split second, but it was long enough for me to see it. A sickness began to swirl around in my stomach, as I waited for her to speak out once more. But she remained silent, tormenting me with her eyes, forcing me to ask the one question I didn’t know the answer to.
“He...he has a child?” My palms were sweating, my fingers trembling, my knees knocking together. I almost couldn’t bear the strained atmosphere that was circling us.
Oh, my God, I wanted to scream. Just put me out of my misery already!
“Oh yeah, didn’t you know? Everyone else does, I’m surprised you haven’t heard it yet, even if you have only been here for a while.” She stepped closer to me, tapping her fingers on her hips, making me look at her overtly sexy curves without even wanting to. Had Matthew really been hooking up with this girl? Why the hell would he go from her to me? She was so much hotter. “He has a kid with Kerri.”
As soon as those words left her lips, any cool façade simply fell away. I felt the rug pulled out from beneath me, literally causing me to stagger backwards. Was that possible? Could that be the case?
Kerri had certainly been very evasive when I asked her about who Grant’s dad was, almost weirdly so, which lined up with this story. Plus, if he was a womanizer, he could have easily charmed her into bed. Maybe it was on a night she was feeling lonely. Maybe they were drunk. By the time he came to her, we hadn’t spoken for many years, so it was unlikely that either of them would hold any loyalty to me anymore.
Then I came back, and fucked up everything. It was unlikely that either of them would feel brave enough to tell me...especially after I drunkenly screwed Matthew again.
Holy fuck!
Was that why she hooked up with Willy? Someone she didn’t seem to like? Was it because Matthew had rejected her, and their son, so she wanted some revenge? Did she sense he was into me, so she went off with someone else?
I thought I was about to throw up, so I pushed past a content Terri, making my excuses. I raced into the bathroom to give myself somewhere more discrete to throw up, should it come to that.
I panted heavily, leaning over the toilet, but it quickly became clear that nothing was going to come up, so I slid backwards and allowed my butt to crash against the cold, tiled ground with a thud. My head pounded with heat, while my mind ran free with images of the pair of them together. It was possible, I knew it was; that was why Terri’s story cut so deep.
If everything she’d just told me was the truth, then Matthew really wasn't the man that I thought he was. Maybe that nasty side I saw to him when my dad died was the truth of him after all; maybe that was the guy he’d become more of over time.
I stood up, knowing I was going to have to get myself ready for work regardless of what I thought about Matthew. He might be a total dickhead, but he was my employer now, and I needed him to pay my wages. I couldn't ask him about any of this, especially not in the workplace, because I needed this job so damn badly.
I was going to have to just avoid him at all costs, focusing only on the job at hand instead. No more cozy chats, no more lunches together: I was only there to work.
I would have to speak to Kerri about her and Matthew, instead of him. I could trust her a whole lot more. I felt that if I went to her with this and asked her outright, I might stand a chance of getting the damn truth.
*****
The day that followed was absolutely exhausting. I was exhausted purely from having to actively avoid Matthew and Terri, so by the time I could get the hell out of the place, I stalked out without a second glance. Matthew was probably confused as to why I hadn’t even said goodbye, but I didn’t give a shit about that. He could think whatever he damn well pleased about me.
I needed to get home quickly, to veg out and wallow in my own, negative emotions, but I couldn't just yet because I had to head to the pharmacy first. Mom needed a whole bunch of new meds, and while I was in high spirits in the morning, if I’d known how my day was going to go, I might not have been so kind as to pick them up.
Actually, that was unfair. Mom was up and down a lot, so of course I would have unselfishly offered. It was just a pain in the ass when I wasn’t in the mood.
“Oh my God, Ashlee Baker, is that you?” a vaguely familiar voice called out the second I stepped through the doors. “I mean, I knew that your mother had returned to town, but I didn’t realize it was a package deal.”
I took me a second of staring at him blankly to realize that it was Harry from my old school, the one who held the graduation party that caused everything to fall apart. I’d all but forgotten that his family owned this place; to be honest, I never thought that I would see him working there. Back in the older days, he was much too spoiled to ever get a job.
But as my eyes travelled up and down his broader, more muscular body, drinking in the sexy goatee sitting on his chin, it was obvious to me that the over the last decade, the boy had done some serious growing up.
“Oh, hi, Harry,” I smiled up at him. “It’s nice to see you again. How are things?”
“Good, good. I take it that you’re here for your mother’s medication?” I nodded and watched him scurry off to sort it out. At least some people had changed since high school; it was a relief to see that I wasn't on my own with that one. “So, how long are you back for?” he asked me as he handed me the bag of stuff. “It would be nice to hang out with you while you’re here, catch up and stuff?”
I looked into his eyes, wondering if this was a date or a friend thing...and did it really matter either way? Since it was obvious that things between me and Matthew were never going to become anything, why not see what else is out there?
“I’m back for the foreseeable future,” I told him, my heart pounding with excitement at the snap decision that my brain had just made for me. “And a drink sounds lovely. When would you like to go?”