Chapter Twenty-Five
Milo – Wednesday
Waking up with my arms wrapped around a woman was an all too familiar situation, but this time everything about it was different. Everything about Eliza was unique, and it made all my reservations just fall away.
Maybe there was a way we could make this work. Maybe we could be together, visit every so often. If we wanted one another enough, I felt confident that we could do it...
But then the rose-tinted quality of sleep fell away, and I thought about things more rationally. It was a nice idea, but how long before the novelty wore off? How long before we got irritated by the situation and everything started to fall apart?
I had to remember that I wasn’t out of the woods with my health yet, and that things could easily come crashing back over me. It wasn’t fair to Eliza to bring her into my world permanently without warning her what it might be like, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.
I just didn’t want to get into that horrible topic of conversation. I wanted to breeze past it and forget it. It had consumed me for far too long, and now I never wanted to think about it again. Maybe that wasn’t the healthiest attitude, but it was all I had.
Plus, she was leaving today anyway. I had to accept that as fact. And chances were that would change absolutely everything. She would probably forget about me quickly, and if that were to happen, then I needed to move on, as well. I couldn’t be hung up on someone who had their own life – nothing was sadder than that.
This was only supposed to be a vacation. I was never supposed to get so heavily involved. I was supposed to have fun, see a different way of life, and find my zest for life once more. Yes, I had thought there might be time for women, but I never assumed any of this was going to happen. I’d never thought I would end up feeling things that I didn’t know were possible.
Eliza stirred in my arms, making my heart skip a beat. Her dark hair cascaded over my skin, tickling me, making me want to hold her even closer. As her eyes flickered open and a happy smile burst over her cheeks, I felt horrible that it was all going to have to come to an end. We were perfect for one another, but we’d found each other at the wrong time,
“Morning, beautiful,” I muttered almost under my breath. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” she replied lazily, stretching her arms above her head. “That’s the best night of sleep I’ve had in ages. How about you?”
Did she have to be so unbelievable? So heart-stoppingly wonderful? If only I could think of a negative quality she possessed, it might have made things a little easier.
“Same.” I felt good – too good – and that was the problem. “I can’t believe that I’ve already been here for a month. On the one hand, it seems like forever, but on the other, it’s flown by.”
“Wow,” she said, as though that thought struck her like horror. “Yeah, that’s insane.”
I only had a month left now. I was halfway through my trip which meant... Well, neither of us knew what it meant. Nothing good at any rate.
I remembered the moment I arrived in Florence, and when I first met Eliza, how bowled away I was by her, even if I did act a little distant. I instantly found her beautiful, but I also found her clumsiness weirdly attractive, the way she was just happy to be herself. I was drawn to her, I could almost sense that she was special, but I hadn’t wanted to read too much into it at the time. It had made me feel strange.
Clearly, I had noticed her more that I cared to admit because I could still recall her very first face to face words to me, as if she’d only just spoken them aloud.
“Hello, there. It’s nice to meet you in person. Yes, erm... Yes, I’m Eliza.”
Such a simple conversation gave me an instant clue that Eliza wasn’t used to dealing with renters. How little I knew then that she was about to change my whole life forever. Would I have acted differently if I did know? Would it have changed anything? Would I have been more cautious, or more keen to jump right in with both feet?
“So, I suppose I have to leave today.” Eliza suddenly brought my attention back to the present moment and the horror of the day. “I’ll get all my stuff out of your way, and you can enjoy the rest of your vacation in peace.”
Don’t go... I don’t want peace... I just want you to stay...
“Okay,” I said instead of what I was thinking. “Sure thing.”
She shifted from foot to foot, looking embarrassed. “I mean, if you’re ever lonely while you’re here and you want me to cook for you, give me a call. That was part of the deal with me staying here, after all. I’m more than happy to hold up my end of the bargain.”
I nodded, but I already knew that I wouldn’t do that. It would feel a bit too much like a booty call, and Eliza was much too good for that.
Or maybe I would, but only if being in Florence without her became too unbearable for words. Maybe I’d throw my pride to one side and do what my heart so desperately wanted me to.
“Okay, well, I’ll leave you to it then.” I shot her a lingering look and she bit down on her lip, but neither of us were saying what we wanted to say. It was so obvious that we both felt the same way, but that the roadblocks in front of us were too big to overcome. “Come and say bye before you go.”
As I wandered back into my room, a morose feeling consumed me. She was going. She was in the other room now packing her things, then she’d be gone, and I would be stuck here in this cabin all by myself. Why had I ever thought that the peace and quiet was a good idea?
As soon as Eliza left, it would only serve to remind me that I didn’t have her anymore, that I didn’t have anyone close to me. Yes, I’d have the time to focus on moving forward, the job I was supposed to be doing while I stayed here, but that didn’t feel quite as appealing anymore.
I stroked Veil for a while, holding him close. If he knew what was going on, which to be fair he probably didn’t, then this would hurt him, too. At least we had each other. I might not have been one for being mushy about my pet before, but I hadn’t ever needed him quite as much as I did now. Now his company would be the only thing getting me through.
Eliza’s light knocking at the door could only mean one thing: she was already packed, ready to go, much too quickly for my liking. Why do things with her always whiz past? I wanted to cling onto each moment, to savor it, but I just couldn’t seem to make that happen.
“Coming,” I called out, standing up, but somehow that message didn’t quite get across. She seemed to think that I said come in because the door clicked open quickly.
“I’m going now,” she told me with a steely expression, as if she were trying to hold it all in herself, exactly as I felt. “I... Well, you have my number and stuff, so you know how to get hold of me.”
She leaned down and hugged Veil, before pulling me in for an awkward embrace, too. All the warmth between us was gone. We’d become more like strangers, instead. I hated it. I only liked it when things felt normal, and this couldn’t have been further than that if it tried.
She kissed me on the cheek, too, but still, there wasn’t any true warmth there. It felt more polite than anything, stilted, like she was only doing it out of duty. Even I was hard pressed to believe that we’d had all that passion the night before.
“Bye,” I whispered, smiling sadly at her. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
She paused for a second, as if she was about to say something else or ask me a question, but she must have decided against it because she quickly spun around and walked determinedly toward the door. Veil raced after her, and I couldn’t help but meekly follow, but she wasn’t looking at me, and it wasn’t long before I was staring at the dust trail she’d left behind.
“Well, buddy, she’s gone,” I said to Veil in the most upbeat tone I could manage, but as I walked back inside, he stayed at the door, longing for the woman who wasn’t coming back.
Right, I need to take action now. I needed to stop myself from falling apart. I had a task that I could complete. I had this whole Landon investment that I could focus on, just to keep me distracted from my feelings. If I didn’t do it now, if I sat down and started thinking, then I had no idea when I’d move again. It was time to make a call.
“Hello, Justin speaking.”
“Justin, it’s me, Milo,” I sighed, unable to keep the sadness from my tone. “I’ve been to see Landon.”
“You have?” He sounded so happy to hear that, that it actually made me grin for a moment. He just had such an infectious personality. “What did you think of him?”
“Oh, he’s great, isn’t he? He has his head screwed on. I like him a lot.” I paused for a second, before dropping the bombshell. “I definitely want to invest in him.”
“I had a feeling that he’d be good for you; have you got a plan together yet?”
“Actually,” I admitted, “because I’ve been out of the investment game for a while, I wanted to go over things with you, if that’s okay? Maybe we can have a proper chat about it when I’m back in Nevada? I can come to you, or you to me?”
“Well, I’m in Florence next week as it happens,” he exclaimed happily. “We can go fishing if you want? Talk it over then? I mean, we can have an official meeting with my financial advisor whenever, but I’m usually pretty good at picking things up on instinct.”
“Yeah, that sounds awesome!” I couldn’t wait to see Justin, and I also couldn’t wait to have someone other than my dog to talk to. I’d gotten spoiled with the constant companionship with Eliza, and now I was going to have to get used to her not being around.
Unless her pipes burst again, of course. I mean, I wasn’t wishing bad luck on her, but I couldn’t help wanting that just a little bit.
"Great, I’ll keep you up to date on the details, and I’ll see you then.”
Once he hung up, I felt a little more positive, at least for a little while. It was going to be hard without Eliza, but I could cope. I’d been alone before. I was doing the right thing – this was the best choice for both of us.