Chapter Thirty-Six
Eliza – Sunday
The four walls felt like they were closing in on me. This apartment was starting to feel more like a prison than anything else. I absolutely had to get out.
Much to my surprise, Laynee had let me stay in all day long, and she’d stayed with me. It had felt like a blessing at the time, but now it felt like a curse.
I forced some clothes on my body, trying not to get too wound up by everything. I would be outside soon enough, and with some fresh air in my lungs, everything would feel easier. I would just head out to the local diner, grab myself something to eat, then decide where to go from there. I had a whole lot that I needed to do; it wasn’t exactly like I could afford another lazy day. I just needed to figure out where to start, and I couldn’t do that while everything felt so utterly overwhelming.
“Right,” I muttered, barely looking at my scruffy reflection in the mirror. “Time to go.”
As the cool air whizzed past my cheeks, I could feel a flush building up in my skin, and I started to feel more alive. This had all taken so much out of me, so it was good to have a bit more life in my body. It was exactly what I needed.
And as I entered the diner, and a whole bunch of familiar faces greeted me, my mood began to lift. Not by much – I still had a lot of sadness swimming around inside of me – but with other distractions, I didn’t have to focus on it so much.
“Hi, a BLT and a coffee please.” I smiled at the waitress. “Thank you.”
“Ooh, I thought that was you.” I spun around to see Mrs. Edwards smiling at me. “How are you, dear?” She pulled me in for a hug, not giving me the chance to create any distance between us. “I haven’t seen you since the other day in the salon.”
The other day… the day that Milo left. “Oh, yeah, I’m good, thank you,” I replied evasively. “How about you?” Nope, she wasn’t going anywhere; she was now taking the seat right beside me. There was no way that I’d get away without being asked about—
“So, how are things with you and your young man?” she jumped in, right on cue. “Did you make any decisions about what you’re going to do?”
I had to literally choke back a sob. I’d come here to avoid thinking about Milo, not to get dumped right in the middle of a conversation about him. “Actually, I decided against it,” I lied. “Your story made me realize that he wasn’t the one for me, so he left and now I’m just getting on with my own life.”
She furrowed her eyebrows as if she didn’t totally believe me, but luckily didn’t push it any further. “Oh, well, that is a shame. But a beautiful girl like you, you’ll find the one soon enough.”
“Yeah, I’m not too sure about that.” I felt myself blush at her words. “If it hasn’t happened yet, then maybe it isn’t going to. But thank you for saying so anyway, it means a lot.”
The waitress brought over my food, giving me the chance to make my escape, but all of a sudden, I found that I didn’t want to be alone anymore. Instead, I wanted to sit with Mrs. Edwards. She’d been through so much, she’d had such an interesting life, and to be perfectly honest, I wanted to hear about that rather than thinking about myself.
“So, Mrs. Edwards, you need to tell me more about yourself and that lovely husband of yours. He must have been special for you to sacrifice so much for.”
“Ooh, you have no idea…”
***
By the time I left the diner, I felt so good that I made a hasty decision that I hadn’t even considered for the day. I was on a high, flying on the amazing love story that had happened to someone I knew in real life, making it possible for me, too. But before that could happen, I needed to clear out the past. I needed to go to the cabin and clean it up.
It wasn’t going to be easy, I already knew that, but it was a necessity. I had no idea whether I’d be able to rent it out to anyone else, but if I ever made the decision to do so, then I didn’t want to have to tackle it then.
Admittedly, my strength started to wane as I pulled up the car and I took in the view. I had to remain in the driver’s seat for a while, sucking in calming breaths, trying to cool down my racing heart.
There were so many memories inside that place, some of them bad, a lot of them good, and I wasn’t quite mentally prepared to face them just yet. Knowing that I had to do something, thinking that I wanted to face it all, was one thing. Actually taking that step was another.
Still, if I didn’t do it now, if I turned the car around and went back home, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to come back, and I didn’t want to end up selling my grandmother’s cabin over a holiday romance doomed from the start.
“Come on, Eliza,” I whispered to myself. “Let’s just do this. Remember what Laynee said: you’ve been through worse.”
But even as I slid out of the car, my steps were shaking. As I pushed the key into the lock, it was with trembling fingers, and as I pushed the creaky door open, nerves were gnawing away inside of me. But still I did it, still I managed it, proving my own inner willpower to myself.
As I stepped inside, it didn’t quite feel like I had expected it to. I thought it’d feel overwhelming. I thought it’d make me want to cry, but it didn’t feel like anything. It was just another cold and empty building. In a way, that was even worse. It was as if the imprint that Milo had left was only on me, not anything else, which made me even more pathetic.
I was a fool. I’d been a fool the entire time.
“Well, best get tidying then,” I said loudly, trying to get some noise and color back into the place.
As I set about scrubbing and moving things back to where they belonged, I had to sing quietly to myself. I didn’t even know what I was singing, really; I was just making some noise.
I only stopped as my eyes fell on the ancient coffee pot that I could never get rid of because of my grandma and all the memories came flooding back. There were so many times that Milo and I had shared coffee, mostly in the mornings, and I’d felt our bond growing increasingly with each passing second.
Shit. I shook my head quickly, shaking that thought from my mind. This wasn’t about that; this was about moving forward. I couldn’t get lost in thoughts about Milo. I just needed to clean up every single trace of him.
***
Two hours. Two whole hours it took me to get through the cleaning of the cabin, but it was done now. I’d managed to get through it, and I had to admit that it did feel good. All traces of Milo were gone, and it was time to move forward.
As a little celebration, I poured myself a glass of water and sat out on the deck, just embracing the sensation that everything was good. Well, maybe not quite good, maybe I wasn’t totally there yet, but it was certainly much better at any rate.
I heard a car engine rumbling in the distance, but that didn’t alter the fact that I had my own little slice of Heaven right here. I was away from everyone else, in the most beautiful place on the planet, and no matter how bad things got, it could help me to feel a little better.
Wait! That engine was getting closer – there was no doubt about it. No car ever got that close unless it was coming to the cabin, and I definitely wasn’t expecting anyone. There were no bookings, considering there was supposed to be someone still here, and aside from Laynee, who didn’t own a car, I didn’t think anyone would even begin to guess where I was.
So who the hell is it?
I stood up with my mind racing, wanting to see the car at the first opportunity. It wasn’t long before it came into view, sending that wobble through my body all over again. I’d just decided to get over Milo, to start moving on. I’d just taken action toward that... and he was here.
I should have been mad. I knew that I should have still been very angry at Milo for his parting words, but I just couldn’t quite make that emotion happen. I was far too stunned for that. What the hell is he doing here? What is he going to say?
He parked, and I found my legs frozen to the spot, as if my limbs had been consumed by lead. I wanted to run up to him, or race away – I wasn’t quite sure which one, but I couldn’t do any of it. I was just stuck here, staring at him like an idiot.
As he moved out from the car, I could instantly see regret in his gaze. At least that told me what he was here for, but I still wasn’t totally sure how I felt about that. He could have messaged me, he could have called, he could have spoken to me a million different ways, but he’d decided to come here to do it face to face.
“I’m sorry,” he started, moving closer to me. “I’m so sorry. I should never have left the way I did.” The closer he got, the more defensive I felt. Finally, my arms crossed over my chest. “I know I was an asshole. There’s no excuse for what I did.”
“Why did you do it?” I gasped, my tongue loosening. “Why did you go like that?”
“Well, it isn’t any excuse, but my casino had been robbed…”
“What?!” Okay, so it was a business thing, but why didn’t he just tell me that at the time? Why did he tell me that I wouldn’t understand? That didn’t make any sense at all.
“Yeah, five million dollars was stolen and a few machines were smashed up.”
I staggered backward, totally taken aback. It didn’t excuse his behavior, but it did begin to make sense. If I’d lost that kind of money, I’d have been acting like a dick, too. “That’s insane. What are you going to do?” I couldn’t even imagine having five million dollars, never mind losing it!
“It’s fine now, it was all part of a complicated revenge plot by the security company; actually, you probably remember me talking to them.” I nodded. I recalled it all too well. “But I’ve got it back under control.”
“How?” I asked, before shaking my head. I didn’t think I wanted to know. “So, what are you doing back here?”
I didn’t want to hope that it was all for me, but my heart couldn’t help it. I expected him to say that it was for Landon, but I prayed it was for us, too. The complications were still there, and I probably shouldn’t have been so easy to forgive him, but life was too short to hold on to something so silly.
"I’m here to take you back to Nevada with me,” he said simply, as if it were obvious. “I can’t be without you anymore. I need you in my life, and I want you to be with me.”
What… the… hell!