Chapter 29
Gabriel knew he had to get to Josh and fast before he somehow found out on his own. The connection between him and Avery was something Gabriel hadn’t witnessed before. He had a feeling Josh would know it the moment she was conscious, their connection so strong, so unbreakable that the realization of the loss would hit him that quickly.
He stretched out his senses, going from location to location, the house, the beach, the boat, the cemetery, all trying to find a glimpse of Josh. He even stopped at the hospital, afraid he’d been right and Josh had somehow found out before he had a chance to break the news to him himself. Thankfully he wasn’t there.
He concentrated harder on his friend, his form vanishing. A moment later the sea breeze brushed his face, and he found himself on an unfamiliar stretch of beach. Somehow he knew they weren’t in Florida anymore. Josh had actually taken his words to heart and stretched his wings, so to speak. But this wasn’t the time for a fleeting moment of pride. This was when Gabriel needed all his nerve to break the news to the man who had become a close friend. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he saw Josh poised at the edge of the water, staring out at the waves.
“Josh…”
Gabriel’s voice carried on the wind. He raised his head to look down the stretch of deserted beach. His friend hurried toward him, leaving footsteps in the sand behind him. Josh frowned at the realization he wasn’t masking himself. He wasn’t trying to hide as Gabriel had been so intent on lecturing him to do, to not leave a trace behind. The fact that they were supposed to stay “veiled” clearly was the last thing on his friend’s mind.
The first thing Josh noticed when Gabriel appeared in front of him was that he looked stressed, something Josh hadn’t seen before. His eyes were wide and there was fear in them, clear as day. Suddenly Josh stepped back as his friend reached for him. “What?” There were so many questions in the lone word, so many worries and fears.
“We have to go.”
Josh couldn’t comprehend what was going on. In the next instant, Gabriel clutched his arm and the beach faded away. He had his eyes open the whole time, seeing the zooming black tunnel on either side of him. Suddenly they were in the middle of a bright hallway. Josh blinked, looking around in confusion. A hospital? “Where are we, Gabriel?” he asked, a hollowness appearing in his gut, a feeling he detested on first realization.
Gabriel didn’t look directly at him. “There’s been an accident.” He swallowed a gulp of air, risking a glance at him. “Avery…she lost the baby…”
The words cut through him like a knife to the gut, and his legs gave out. “No.” The word fell from his lips before he crumpled to the ground. “No!”
***
Josh hated hospitals.
He hated hospital rooms more, and he knew he’d never forget the horrific feeling of being in this one. So claustrophobic he wanted to turn and run and keep running, even if it meant never seeing the love of his life again. How could this have happened to her?
He kept pacing the small room, trying to keep his gaze away from her. She was so small and fragile lying there. He had an overwhelming guilt that he could have stopped this somehow if he’d just been there with her, that he could have kept her from getting in that damn car in the first place. He paused as he heard an unfamiliar sound in the corner of the room. His body tensed as he heard the sound again, the sweet sound of a baby gurgling.
He squeezed his eyes shut, hope filling him that Gabriel had been wrong. His son was alive. That sound meant he was fine, he’d survived the accident.
The gurgle sounded again, louder this time. Closer. And the realization hit him. It wasn’t a nurse bringing his son into the room, it was Gabriel, which only meant one thing.
“No.” The word fell from his lips in a strangled sob. He couldn’t bring himself to turn and look. “No.” He shook his head emphatically, as if his denial was enough to make the whole thing untrue.
A calmness tried to swirl its way around him, but Josh pushed it away. He wanted to feel the pain, to dwell in it. He needed to feel it. It was as close to being alive as he’d ever get again. “Gabriel, no…”
“Josh…”
The sound of soft footsteps approaching stilled him. His gaze swept to the woman in the bed, her face so pale and drawn, a row of butterfly bandages dotting her temple and her cheekbone. He wanted to switch places with her, to save her from this devastating pain that awaited her. He knew very well it could kill her.
“Josh,” Gabriel tried again. “Do you want to hold your son?”
Josh’s bottom lip trembled, and he brushed away his tears angrily. He turned to see Gabriel bathed in soft light, a small bundle wrapped in a white blanket in his arms. Josh took a step back. “How…Avery just lost…” He shook his head. Wasn’t it moments ago he’d found out?
“It doesn’t take long, you know that.” He shifted his arms so Josh saw just the top of his son’s head. A few pale blond hairs covered his scalp.
Tentatively, Josh reached out his fingers, moving the blanket back and running them down his son’s cheek. He stood there in awe for a moment, looking at that sweet little face, his eyes closed as he slept, his hands curled in tiny fists. He was perfect. Just absolutely perfect. “No. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It was never supposed to be him. Me, I get, but him?”
Gabriel looked sadly at Josh and stayed silent.
Josh bit his lip, watching his son sleep. Gabriel took a step closer, and Josh held his arms out. Gabriel gently placed the baby in them and, for the first time, his son’s eyes opened. An overwhelming feeling of love hit Josh as he stood there, and he wanted to freeze time, to stay in that moment forever. The instant he locked eyes with his son, his same piercing blue eyes stared back at him in wonderment.
He sank down on the edge of the hospital bed beside a sleeping Avery. “This isn’t fair. She has nothing now. I’m gone. This little guy…you saw how much she wanted him. Why did she lose him?” His gaze went from the baby to Gabriel then back again, unable to tear his gaze away from his son for too long. The amazement that he was finally holding him was almost too much. He wanted to hold him close forever and never let him go.
“I don’t know, Josh. Your death threw a lot of things out of place.”
“I have my son, and she doesn’t. I want an appeal. Doesn’t he get an appeal?”
“No, Josh. He never experienced life.”
“What about Avery? How does she go on?” He shifted his son in his arms, risking his hold on him to reach out to her for a brief moment and trace his shaky fingers down her cheek, careful of the tiny bandages that covered the cuts on her face from the accident. He could only guess how badly she’d take this. Without him, without Austin, what would happen to her? His gaze shot up to Gabriel, and he wondered if his friend could see the future, if he knew where things went from there. He’d made a cryptic comment before. “What do you see?”
Gabriel’s gaze shifted from Avery back to Josh. “Things are changing. We don’t know yet.”
“What are you saying? Something happens to her?”
Gabriel seemed uncomfortable. “No one knows yet. It’s quite possible.”
Anger raced through Josh’s body. He wasn’t going to let that happen. No matter what, he was going to protect her in ways he couldn’t before. “Take me back.”
“Where?”
“There.” Josh pushed himself to his feet, his grip tightening protectively around his son. “Take me back there right now, G.”
Gabriel seemed to understand exactly what he meant. “Are you sure?”
“More sure than I’ve ever been in my life.”
Gabriel pushed open the door, and Josh barged into the room, startling the panel busy with paperwork. “I want another appeal,” he demanded, his voice level but determined.
“I’m sorry, that isn’t allowed.” Again his favorite member of the panel answered, barely glancing at him. She finally lifted her gaze and looked at him, apparently surprised to see him still standing there with his son in his arms.
“You said I didn’t fight enough before? I’m damn ready to fight now. How could you? How could you take our baby from her? He was all she was living for and you knew it. You even went down and observed her, I know you did. Gabriel told me. Now you take him away from her. And then Gabriel says you might take her life. I want my life back. I want to be alive. I can stop this all from happening. If I’m alive she’ll be healthy and happy, she won’t lose me and we won’t lose our son.”
“I’m sorry, things don’t work that way.”
“How do they work then? You screw around with people’s lives and get kicks out of it?”
“Josh, that is enough,” she said, pushing her chair back as if she were about to jump to her feet.
Josh handed the baby to Gabriel then stepped forward ready to go toe to toe with her. He slammed his hands down on the glass table so hard the glass cracked beneath his palms and she flinched yet never took her eyes off his. “You fix this or I will.”