(The Secret in My Closet)

YEARS AGO

(Adena)

I got home to them fighting. I heard Aunt Beth’s voice from the sidewalk. I heard the squawk of Anna’s voice, guilty as sin but always willing to defend herself. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and listened.

“You cannot just decide when you want to go or not,” Aunt Beth yelled.

“Why the fuck not? I know what I’m doing with my life.”

“You don’t know a thing about life!”

“Oh, and you do? Look at yours!”

“Picking up after you,” Aunt Beth yelled.

“Then maybe I should leave. Huh? I have plenty of people who want me.”

“For the wrong reasons,” Aunt Beth said. “Why can’t you see that? And if you keep skipping…”

I walked up the stairs.

The same fight.

Anna skipping school. Legal action being threatened against Aunt Beth. They’d fight for a while and Anna would leave. She’d be gone for hours, a day or two, and then just when you were ready to break… she’d show up. She’d show up to school. She’d be calmer. Pay attention. Go to all her classes. Give a damn for about a week. Then it would slowly unravel. It wasn’t the mind games that hurt the most… it was the way Aunt Beth looked at us. During those calm times, Aunt Beth would look at both of us. She’d actually see me, which was rare (and totally not her fault). I could see it in her eyes that it was all she ever wanted. But it was all a giant lie.

What wasn’t a lie was in my bedroom. I threw my bag to the bed and hurried to the closet. I opened the sliding wood doors and saw the dress. The Dress. That’s what I referred to it as. Yeah, I was the weird one who bought a dress without a date. And, yeah, my plan to have a date may have had a couple hiccups… but the thing was… if the fight downstairs was real, and continued, Anna would get banned from the dance. Or if Anna got into any trouble in school, she would get banned. Which meant this was going to happen. She’d get banned from the dance. And the later it happened, the better. Because then Evan would get left high and dry.

That’s when I…

I reached for the dress, biting my lip. It was as beautiful as the day I saw it in the window. Every stitch. The hidden purple color within it.

I never cared about this stuff before. Dresses, dances, dressing up. All that crap. But this was going to be my last shot. Prom meant a lot of things to a lot of people. The biggest dance of the year. Those graduating (like me) would never have another, unless they were invited back, which was just goofy if you asked me.

Nobody had seen the dress except me and Riley. I wanted to keep it that way. I wanted to pick the right time and put the dress on and show Aunt Beth. Get word back to Evan. And then…

My door flew open.

I quickly shut the closet doors.

I spun around, my back against the doors. Now I looked guilty as sin.

“I hate that bitch,” Anna growled.

“Hey,” I said. “What’s… what’s wrong?”

“I don’t get it. Geometry? Seriously? When do I need that in life?”

I licked my lips. “Anna, you just have to do it. Tell you what… I have all my old notebooks.”

“With homework?” she asked. “Test answers?”

She closed in on me.

“Homework, yes,” I said. “Not sure about tests. I might have some of them. You know me. I save everything.”

“You’re like an old lady,” Anna said. “I love it. Yes. This is perfect. You give me all the class notes, Adena. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”

“I thought of it,” I whispered.

“Yes you did. Look at you, you badass rebel.”

“Hey,” I said. “You can’t take the notes and stuff to school. Okay?”

Here’s the thing… I should have known better. Anna wouldn’t only take the notebooks to school but she would sell the notes. Sell copies. To buy… whatever. She would leave my name on the notes. I wouldn’t get to walk during graduation. My diploma would be held up for two months as the school investigated. Until finally, Anna would admit she stole the notes from me. Which put her in the hot seat, but at least I graduated.

Fucking notes…

“Hey, what’s that?” Anna asked.

She grabbed my arm and shoved me out of the way. I looked in horror. When I shut the door, I had caught a piece of the dress.

Before I could take a breath, Anna opened the closet.

“Ohmygod… look at this dress…”

“I bought it,” I said. “For me.”

Anna glanced at me. “You bought this? For you? You’re going to the dance? You’re going to your prom?”

“I plan on it,” I said.

“With who?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I said.

Anna raised an eyebrow. “Right. Hey, can I try this on?”

“What? No.”

“Seriously?” Anna curled her lip. “Oh, so you’re going to be a bitch to me now too? What’s with this house? You and Beth always gang up on me. Treat me like a fucking child.”

Because you act like one.

“That’s my dress…”

“Oh, God, you’re such a princess,” Anna said. She reached into the closet and pulled the dress out. She held it against her body. “Look. I bet it would fit me. I mean, you’re totally thick and all…”

Great. Another fat joke. Thanks, Anna.

“I don’t think…”

“Shut up,” Anna said.

She turned and draped the dress over the bed. She wasted no time in stripping herself down to her bra and panties. I looked at her flat stomach and gritted my teeth. I touched my stomach. I hated that she could look like that. Maybe I needed to do what she did. Cigarettes, drinking, drugs… what a way to keep a lean figure.

I watched as Anna began to put the dress on.

My dress. My damn dress. The dress I worked for. The dress I paid for.

I swallowed the anger.

It was only a one time thing. She’d put it on now and then take it off and never touch it again.

Oh… I was so, so wrong about that…