(My Favorite Sleepover Ever)

NOW

(Adena)

I still couldn’t breathe. I looked at the clock on the nightstand and it had been almost ten minutes since we finished. My hands were still holding his shoulders tight. They were thick with strong muscle and my hands couldn’t get enough. My head rested on his chest. I kept casually turning my head to see his bare body, all the way down to the covers that were far too low on him, but it worked for me.

I felt giddy and kept biting my bottom lip to keep from smiling like a fool or screaming like one too.

Evan ran his fingers through my hair over and over. Each time he did so, he would touch my back. It would make me shiver a little and send a tingling rush down between my legs. I was still ready for him. I still wanted more. What he had begun was so far from over.

At least I hoped so.

I slowly moved and propped myself up on my elbow. My breasts were pressed tight against his body as he looked down at me. He was wide awake, his dark eyes slightly dazed, the scruff on his face making him look sexier than anything I had ever seen in my life. The bedroom was filled with the ghostly echoes of our sounds together yet it all felt so comfortable. Like we had been doing this for years and this was just a normal night for us.

“Evan,” I whispered. “What happened back there?”

“Nothing.”

“You got jealous. Because someone else…”

Evan put his hand to my back and spread his fingers wide. That commanding hold, claiming me. Which I sort of liked.

“I just don’t want to ever think about that,” he said. “And the way he said it. He was done with you? Like he used you?”

“Do you want to know what happened?”

“Sure,” Evan said.

“We dated for like a month. Okay? That was it. You do realize I’ve had boyfriends, right?”

“Of course,” Evan said. “I’m sorry for what happened. I just wanted us to have a night. To just sit and talk without any bullshit. That’s why I drove us back here.”

“Well, if it means anything, this was the best date I’ve ever been on.”

Evan laughed.

Being so close to him when he laughed was something special. Feeling the rumble of his laugh in his chest. The way his stomach moved.

I’m still in love with him… like I always have been.

That thought hit me hard. And scared me. It had always been a crush thing. The puppy dog love kind of thing. But now it had a different feel to it.

Evan touched my hair again. “Dena, this is perfect. Sorry about the ten second tour of the apartment.”

“As long as the other stuff didn’t last ten seconds, I don’t care,” I said.

Evan pressed himself at me. He rolled me to my back and eased over me.

“Oh, sweetheart, ten seconds for the rest of my life…”

His lips brushed against mine.

I felt him between my legs again, his thickness growing harder.

I opened my mouth and groaned. I shut my eyes and put my head back, feeling his tongue begin to explore my neck again. He entered me, stealing my breath, just like the first time. I turned my head, the pressure so intense, I had to bite at a pillow to try and find relief. But that relief came a few moments later in the form of pleasure. And when that hit me, it washed over me and never went away.

We were tangled up in each other’s arms, bodies, hearts, memories…

The harder he thrust, the louder I groaned. My hands pulling at his shoulders again, bringing my mouth to his ear, making sure he heard everything I had to say.

It was all just sounds… moans, groans, and grunts… but what I really wanted to say to him was…

I love you, Evan… please don’t break my heart again.

* * *

Somewhere between here and there I fell asleep. And when I opened my eyes, I was no longer resting on Evan’s chest. I was tucked up tight in the covers, still in Evan’s bed in his room in his apartment.

It was morning.

Early but not too early. My body had been used to getting up at four in the morning because I had to be out the door between four-thirty and four-forty-five to get to work on time. That was prime baking time to get ready for the morning rush. Of course, when I had my own business I was up at three-thirty, going through orders and financials, prepping myself for the coming day. When it was all mine, it mattered more.

Still resting on my belly, I turned my head to the other side and saw Evan. He was in the same position as the night before. The angle of his back and neck made me cringe because I figured he was going to have a stiff neck. His head was gently turned to the left, almost resting on his own shoulder. This rough and tough looking man with those steel cut features and battle scars and messy hair and scruff… he looked cute when he slept.

I never got to see Evan sleep before.

I watched him for a little bit, letting my thoughts race about the night before. Okay, fine, it wasn’t exactly a date. We got something to eat, didn’t finish one drink, and came straight back here with one thing in mind. But face it, that one thing had been lingering between us for a long time. There were actually two times long ago when I had the chance to experience my first time and didn’t because of Evan. Because somewhere inside me I always imagined Evan being my first time. I pictured it like this: it would be one of those nights he came looking for Anna. Or maybe a night where he’d drop Anna off. Right? Aunt Beth would be fast asleep, tired from working so hard. And either Anna would be missing or Evan would get her into her bed and she’d be so sound asleep she could sleep through an earthquake. Then I’d stand in my doorway and look at Evan. He’d look at me. He’d walk right to me and ask how I was doing. He’d smile. I’d be wearing my normal PJ’s but they were always enough to show stuff. You know? Not slutty or anything. Just comfy. Then Evan would look up and down the hallway. Then he’d poke his head into my room with that little smile of his that did things to my belly and my way way way lower belly. He’d make a comment about never seeing my room before. And that’s when I’d finally have the nerve to take some kind of control. I’d step back and nod for him to come into my room. He’d step into the room. I’d shut the door. I would be so nervous, sure, but it didn’t matter. Everyone was asleep. It was just me and Evan. And it was my turn to be… bad…

I smiled as the entire thing popped into my mind. I had spent so much time fantasizing about it. It was embarrassing, even now. I felt my cheeks turning red as I stared at Evan.

While that would have been the ultimate experience way back when, I was happy with what happened now. I got to experience Evan as a man. A real man. And I was confident in my body as a woman. Maybe in some ways I had a chance to grow into my curves a little better than when I was younger. They were still there and would forever be there. But the way Evan had been holding me… I don’t think he’d minded at all.

Gently, I eased my way out of the bed, trying not to wake Evan. I figured it would only be right that I would make him coffee in the morning since he had done it for me.

I was able to find my panties on the floor but skipped the rest of my clothes. No, I didn’t walk around his apartment topless, although I’m sure that would have made him happy. Instead, I saw a t-shirt on the floor and grabbed it. It was Evan’s. I smelled it. It didn’t stink so I put it on. The shirt came down to just above my knees. The sleeves down to my elbows. Swimming in a t-shirt that smelled of him.

It made me shiver. I bit my lip as I wanted to scream with happiness. But it also turned me on.

I exited the room and looked around the apartment. The whole ten second tour from last night really didn’t count. Not when I had Evan holding me, carrying me, kissing me.

It was a nice apartment. I mean, for him. He hadn’t been lying to me with what he said at the bar last night. I guess in some way I always thought he left to become something and to forget about me and everyone else. But here he was, living in a cramped apartment, working for his uncle. Strange as the setup was, his bedroom was almost as big as the rest of the apartment. The living room and dining room were squished together, only separated by the couch. There was no separation to the kitchen either, just old hardwood floors that ran wall to wall. The kitchen had one long L shaped counter with a sink, dishwasher, and a fridge stuffed in the corner.

Still, this place was paradise. Why? Because it wasn’t the house. The house that came with memories, most of them bad. The house in the town that was flooded with even more bad memories. I would trade that house for this apartment in a heartbeat.

I walked to the coffeemaker and opened the cabinet right above it. I scored big when I found the coffee.

I made some and then did a casual search through the fridge and cabinets, wanting to find something to make for breakfast. It was slim pickings in this place, just another testament that a single guy lived there. The fridge had more beer than anything else. A half empty container of orange juice and a carton of milk on its side. I even tried to find something basic like a box of pancake mix… or even some frozen waffles… but I came up short over and over.

The coffeemaker let out a long beep as though it were a timer for me to find breakfast.

I laughed to myself.

Then I whispered, “At least we have coffee.”

I found two coffee mugs right above where the coffee had been in the cabinet. I put them on the counter and then just stood there. Here I had thought of the romance of making Evan breakfast and coffee. Maybe even bringing it to him in bed. Maybe letting both the food and coffee get cold because we ended up too busy with something else.

I stepped forward one step when Evan appeared from the small hallway outside the bedroom.

He stopped when he saw me.

Sleep was all over his face. His hair was as messy as ever. Best part? He stood there with no shirt on. Just jeans. And the jeans weren’t buttoned either. So that gave my eyes a little tease as I looked down and saw plenty of his body but not the best part.

In his hand was the t-shirt I had ripped off his body the night before.

“Morning, sweetheart,” he said in a rough, sleep laced, seductive voice.

I instantly lost all feeling in my legs.

It took me a mental count to four to breathe, balance, and respond.

“Morning. I made us coffee.”

“Ah, that’s perfect.”

“You, uh, don’t have anything to eat here, Evan.”

“Shit, sorry,” he said. “Wasn’t exactly expecting company.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So what did you expect last night?”

Evan smirked. “Let me get some coffee first, Dena.”

He walked toward me as though he was going to walk through me. I thought he would move around me but he didn’t. He stopped right in front of me. Towering over me. His body smelled of the sheets and sleep. We smelled the same and that turned me on like crazy. With the hand not holding his t-shirt, he touched my cheek, smiled, and leaned down to kiss my cheek. There was something about kissing my cheek that made my toes curl.

Evan walked to the coffeemaker and poured us each a cup. He took out a bag of sugar and opened the fridge to get the milk and some coffee creamer.

He turned, still without wearing a shirt, holding the coffee mug in his hand.

I just stared. I never needed coffee again to wake up if this was the sight I could have in the morning.

“Sorry about this place,” he said.

“No, it’s fine.”

“It’s a shit hole, Dena.”

“No, it’s not. It’s cozy.”

“In other words, small.”

“Evan, I can’t tell you how happy I am to not be in that house right now.”

He nodded. “Right.”

“So… what was your plan for last night?”

He shrugged his shoulders. The way they flexed… holyshit…

I felt my bottom lip quiver and thought I was going to start drooling like a patient leaving the dentist after getting a needle to be numbed.

Evan stepped forward and threw the shirt over his shoulder. “Well, I figured we could eat and have a few drinks. Talk about whatever came to mind. Now that you say about not wanting to be at the house, I’m glad I came here. That’s what I was figuring.”

“Oh, get me drunk and take advantage of me?” I asked.

“Dena, did you need to be drunk for that to happen?” Evan asked so boldly.

My face burned red. “Good point.”

“I thought, you know, going back to where all this shit began. Show you what I’ve always wanted.”

“You really mean that, Evan? You always wanted…”

He grinned. “Of course, Dena. I’m not sure I can ever explain everything. Or at least explain it in a way that you want to hear. Because the truth will always sound like a cheap excuse.”

“Meaning what?” I asked.

“Meaning look around you. Look where I am. Look what I am. What kind of life is that for you to have, Dena? You were supposed to go off and open that business. And be successful. I guess in my heart I thought if I could keep the bullshit at bay, it was my offering to you. My own version of saving you without getting close enough so that the fires of hell that rage inside didn’t burn you.”

My throat felt like it was going to squeeze shut. I reached with a hand and planted it right at Evan’s bare chest. Right over his heart. I wanted to cry. Not because what he said was maybe the sweetest thing a person had ever said to me. But because he just didn’t get it. He didn’t get that it was him I wanted, not a life. Not an image. It was always about him.

“I figure that’s all bullshit now though,” Evan said. “Considering everything that happened.”

I couldn’t take my hand away from him. “Evan…”

I heard a beeping sound.

“Shit,” he whispered. “That’s Uncle Davey. What time is it?”

“I don’t know. Close to nine.”

“Damn.”

“What?”

Evan winked. “I was supposed to be at the shop at eight.”

He broke away from me and walked to the door of the apartment. That’s where he had thrown his keys and apparently his phone. He grabbed the phone and took the call.

“Don’t worry, I’m alive.” Evan turned and looked at me. “Oh, believe me, she’s worth it. And, yes, I know her name.” Evan moved the phone away. “Hey, sweetheart, what’s your name again?” he called out to me with a big smile.

I rolled my eyes and turned to get my coffee.

“I’ve got everything with me,” Evan said. “Don’t worry, old man. You should see my office over here. I’m all ready for whatever we’ve got to do.”

I poured some creamer and glanced over my shoulder. Evan’s office was half of his dining room table. He reached for some papers and put them on the table and flipped through them.

“Hey, are you questioning me here?” he asked. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I work for you. You can’t even use a computer, Uncle Davey. You worry about your end of things. I’ll be there in a few. Let me have a coffee and try to get this woman out of my apartment.”

I laughed.

I opened the drawer in front of me and grabbed a spoon.

I stirred the coffee, watching it change from black to tan. The spoon dinging off the edges as I stirred.

Then I felt Evan’s hands touch my waist.

I stiffened and gasped.

“Sweetheart, I’ve gotta get to the shop soon,” he whispered.

“I heard.”

“That means I either leave you here for the day or take you home.”

I put my head back against his chest. I groaned. Why did he have to be so comfortable? So dreamy? Why did he have to leave?

“I probably should get home,” I whispered. “I have a lot of stuff to do. Stuff to go through. Stuff to figure out.”

Evan slipped a hand around to my stomach and kept me tight to him. “I need to see you again, sweetheart. Really fucking soon, too. I’m not waiting days and weeks. I want now.”

I shut my eyes for a few seconds to breathe it all in.

It hurt me that Evan thought he was helping me by keeping his distance. Of course the attention went to Anna because she was crazy enough to jump off a bridge if enough people weren’t looking at her. I would have jumped off a building to get Evan’s attention.

He took his hands away from me and I felt cold. He walked back to the table, picking up his coffee mug and grabbed for some papers. I finally had the chance to drink my coffee. I stood there and watched him.

I’m not waiting days and weeks. I want now.

I smiled and felt my cheeks burn hot again.

Evan wanted now, I wanted forever.