(The Extra Line… Shh…)

YEARS AGO

(Evan)

I had the pregnancy test hidden in my pants. Seriously. That’s what had become of us. All I wanted to do was keep Anna out of trouble and let Adena and Beth live their lives. Just like Dick had asked me to do. That shit was easier said than done. Especially when Anna called me at ten at night, crying, saying she felt weird. Saying she felt pregnant.

Pregnant?

My first instinct was to ask - how did this happen? - but I wasn’t an idiot. I knew how this happened. And now it was somehow on my shoulders to fix. But there was no fixing anything. If Anna peed on the test and it came up positive, then everything would forever change.

I ran my hand through my hair as I walked down the street. My heart was racing and my mouth was bone dry. This was far beyond anything I ever imagined. I had nowhere to turn either. I couldn’t talk to my mother. She was working diligently on meeting her grave at a young age. My friends were all worried about getting drunk, high, and laid. Which was what I should have been doing too. It was what I used to do. Before meeting Anna. Before meeting Adena.

Somewhere in my head I pictured a baby in that house. Adena not getting sleep because the baby was crying. Beth waking up to feed the baby because you sure as hell could bet everything you own that Anna wouldn’t get out of bed to feed the baby. Chances were Anna wouldn’t even be around. She’d have the baby and then disappear. Back to normal. Only coming around when it was convenient to be a mother. For appearances.

Just like my mother.

I was so angry when I saw Anna standing at the gate at the end of the yard. All the overgrowth and shit had been chopped down and now a chain link fence stood there. If Anna couldn’t piss me off even more, she was smoking.

The second she got within reach I grabbed the cigarette from her. “Are you insane?”

“What?”

“You think you’re pregnant and you’re smoking?”

“So?”

“You can’t smoke if you’re pregnant.”

“Why not?”

I stared in disbelief.

“Oh, so you’re mad at me now? This is your fucking fault, Evan.”

“My fault? I’m not the one…”

I held back my words.

If I pushed too hard at her, she’d run. And then who knows what she’d do to herself.

So I swallowed down all my goddamn words again.

“Did you get one?” Anna asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

I reached into my pants and pulled out the pregnancy test.

Anna took the box and stared at it.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“How does it work?”

“You just pee on it,” I said. “Read the instructions.”

“You read the instructions,” she yelled at me.

So I did. I read the instructions out loud for Anna and the rest of the goddamn world to hear. Nobody else was around though. They were asleep, getting ready to go to sleep, or maybe meeting up with their friends and enjoying the last little bit of freedom we all had before the summer came to an end. Some would head off to college. Some would stay put and take a year off. Some would go to a trade school. Some would go right to work if their Mommies and Daddies had the money and the company to let that happen. Anna was supposed to go to school - she still had two years left.

“Okay, give me the thing,” she said, breaking up my thoughts.

Anna took the box and held the pregnancy test in her hand. She looked at me and it was one of the few times I thought she looked vulnerable. There was nothing innocent about Anna - not from the day I met her and she handed me that stolen gold watch - but there were a handful of times when her eyes had an innocent look to them.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said to her. “No matter what the test says. It’s going to be okay. We’ll talk to Beth together. I’ll make it clear that I’m going to be there. I’ll make sure you get to all your appointments and stuff. Okay? I can find some extra work and whatever money I make I’ll give to Beth to put away…”

“I have to pee,” Anna said. “I drank a lot of water after I called you.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.”

Anna walked around the corner of the fence to where I couldn’t see her. I walked to the fence and leaned against it, staring at the back of the house. The window on the left was Anna’s room. That window I had watched her climb out of how many times? Or how many times had I climbed up that little roof and jumped through the window?

On the other side of that room was Adena’s. Of course I couldn’t see her windows. I couldn’t tell if her lights were on. Off. If she was sleeping. Awake and reading a book. Or just there in bed, wide awake, staring at the dark ceiling, wondering about life.

I wanted that. I wanted to go into her bedroom and do just that. Side by my side, holding hands, in silence, trying to figure out the future…

“Evan.”

I turned and Anna stood a few feet away, a silhouette in the dark.

“I’m still here,” I said.

I swallowed hard, shoving my feelings down.

“Evan…”

“Anna, did you do it? What did it say?”

I saw that Anna’s hands were empty. She just stood there.

“It said we have to wait-”

“Don’t need to wait,” Anna said.

“Oh…”

“Evan, I’m pregnant.”