(The Last Little Bit)

YEARS AGO

(Adena)

With my back against my bed, I bit my lip as I took out the shoebox and lifted the lid. I had to be careful with this. If Anna knew about this money, she’d steal it. I learned that lesson the hard way and so did Aunt Beth. Up until Anna started stealing money, Aunt Beth had never used a credit card. The credit card didn’t stop Anna, but it did allow Aunt Beth to help manage what Anna was and wasn’t allowed to charge and not to charge.

For me, I couldn’t take the risk.

In fact, I knew how to play the game with Anna. I would purposely leave some money right in my night stand drawer. Because I knew Anna went through my stuff. So I figured if she found some cash then she wouldn’t have to keep digging.

Even still, I covered up my secret money stash pretty well.

I opened the shoebox and it was notes. Folded up, handwritten notes from my friends. Back and forth about school, life, boys, the upcoming dance.

The dance…

My cheeks flushed.

I heard a rumor that Evan wasn’t going with anyone yet. Which was unheard of. He could have taken anyone to the dance, except the snotty rich cheerleaders. Which was fine. Evan wouldn’t have wanted to take those bitches anyway.

Last I knew, he and Anna had a little falling out and he was free and clear. Not that he and Anna were ever serious. They had their thing last summer that bled into this school year, but Anna lived life through blocks of time. She’d flip the calendar to a new month and thought everything in her life would reset. That meant her issues, addictions, a new boy, new and more trouble.

I had been babysitting the Cramer twins as much as they needed me. They were rich to me, and they insisted on going out at least once a week to be alone. After just a few times, they sat me down and asked about taking me on to work at their house. I knew the dance was coming up and I had an idea… I saw a dress in the mall that I wanted. There was no way I would ask Aunt Beth about it. I knew she was broke. She struggled enough to keep the lights on in the house. I didn’t want her to feel guilty about not being able to give me money. And I didn’t want her to try and make me a dress or ask a friend to make me one. It would have been some blanket looking thing dated twenty years back. And knowing me, I’d wear it just so I wouldn’t hurt her feelings.

So this was all on me.

I took the extra work at the Cramer’s. I washed the dishes. Cleaned the floors. I even did their laundry, and not just the twins’ either. I washed, dried, folded, organized it on their massive bed. The biggest bed I’d ever seen. Their room smelled like a mix of really expensive perfume and cologne. I was jealous.

One night Mrs. Cramer came home after having one too many glasses of wine at the fancy restaurant they were at. Mr. Cramer had to take a call. He was some finance guy and apparently it was already tomorrow in China and he needed to handle some business.

Mrs. Cramer sat me at the table and made me eat the leftovers. She said that it was a big no-no to take food out of this place, but she knew the owner. It was the most expensive and fanciest meal I’d ever eaten. Even if it was only half a meal, the pieces of steak and potato and roasted carrots that Mrs. Cramer couldn’t finish.

I ate like I was starving… which I was.

Mrs. Cramer asked if I had dinner and I said no.

She then made sure to have a meal cooked for me each time after that when I came over.

They were such nice people to me.

Mrs. Cramer smiled as I ate, rocking back and forth because she was drunk. I had seen drunk a lot in my life. So I knew what to do if she got sick. Or fell over. I would need to turn her so she didn’t choke on her vomit. That was the trick. I learned that a long time ago.

Mrs. Cramer reached across the table and touched my wrist. She then whispered to me that she secretly wanted to adopt me. My eyes lit up. I told her I was almost eighteen. That I was going to be an adult. She said so what? and then asked me about college. I told her I wasn’t going because there was no way I could get into college… or afford it. I told her I wanted to do my bakery thing.

She didn’t laugh at me. She told me I was smart for knowing what I wanted to do. She said she could adopt me and then send me to culinary school. That she and Mr. Cramer would pay for it all! That Mr. Cramer knew a lot of people and I could get into any college I wanted.

My mind started to spin. That would be amazing.

Before I could ask anything else, Mr. Cramer came back into the kitchen. He told me to stay put as he helped Mrs. Cramer off to bed. When he returned he paid me… and gave me extra. I told him I should have been giving money back for the food I ate. He laughed and said I was a good kid. I was honest. That it would get me far. I sort of hinted about what Mrs. Cramer said. He laughed again. He said they liked me. They both liked me. That he would make a few calls about culinary school for me.

I left that night feeling like a million bucks.

A week later Mrs. Cramer was moved out of the house to go somewhere for her secret and growing drinking problem. Mr. Cramer had been sleeping with his secretary, who ended up pregnant. So he took the twins and moved to Maine. The house never sold because it was too big. I never had another babysitting job there again and I never got adopted and I never got into culinary school and I never…

Well, whatever.

What mattered was that as I sat on the floor in my bedroom, my back against the bed, I lifted the little pocket I made that held the notes. Under that was all the cash. After the Cramer’s thing fell though, I picked up two other babysitting jobs. And a cleaning job at night. I’d sneak out around two in the morning three times a week and clean a few offices owned by the same guy. He promised to not tell Aunt Beth. He paid cash, like the babysitting jobs. All those jobs combined didn’t pay what I made in one night at the Cramer’s.

But here was the good part - I finally had enough saved to get the dress.

I was going to buy the dress and wear it to show off for Aunt Beth. And I was hoping someone would see me and tell Evan. Because if he saw me in that dress there was no way in heck he wouldn’t ask me to the dance. And if I could get to the dance with Evan… maybe my life would change. I knew what happened after the dance. The parties. Drinking. Other stuff. I didn’t care. With Evan, I totally would do anything with him. But knowing him, he’d want to wait. Or if we did… he would make it extra special.

My cheeks burned hot as I thought about him.

I counted the money just to be sure. I had enough and a little extra. I would think of something nice to get Aunt Beth with the leftover money.

It was perfect.

Finally. Something was lining up the way I wanted.

My bedroom door blasted open with a shriek from Anna.

I gasped and hurried to put the notes on top of the cash.

“Adena?”

I poked my head up. “Over here.”

“Are you looking at dirty magazines? Guys or girls? Or both?”

Anna climbed across my bed on her knees wearing a dress. The dress pulled up showing way too much, but that’s probably how Anna liked it.

She leaned over and saw the notes.

“Notes? Tell me they’re from a boy.”

“No,” I said. “Just my friends.”

“You keep notes? Why?”

“I don’t know. Memories.”

“That’s weird. You need to get out and make other memories.”

“Right. Why did you come in here screaming?”

“Guess what happened?”

“What now?” I asked.

“Evan asked me to the dance,” Anna said.

Then she screamed again.

I quickly turned and shoved the shoebox under the bed. “What?”

“You heard me, Adena. Well… I mean, he’s going to. I heard it.”

“You heard what?”

“Are you deaf or stupid? Evan…”

I shook my head.

NO. This is wrong. This isn’t happening. I worked for all that money for the dress to wear to be with Evan.

“I’m going to the dance with him,” Anna said. “Me and him. Together. Isn’t that great?”

I smiled. I felt another sliver of my heart crack away.

“That’s… great…”

Anna threw herself to her back and kicked her feet on my bed. She messed up all my covers and then took handfuls of the sheets and pulled them over her. She kept screaming.

I stood there numb.

I was still going to buy that dress though.

I wasn’t going to give up on what I worked so hard for.

And even though I worked to save the money and I went through all the trouble to buy the dress… I wasn’t going to be the one wearing it.