(Demons and a Kiss)

NOW

(Adena)

Evan made me wait until dark. Then he made me pack up everything I had baked for him. It wasn’t anything fancy. Honestly, I made my famous chocolate chip cookies and my famous brownies. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, it was kind of nice being in the kitchen. Forgetting about the world like I used to do. Enjoy creating something that would make someone else happy.

Then again, it made me hate Evan for doing that. Because it was a stark reminder of what I used to have. What I lost. Not to mention I had lost my current job and would need to seriously address that problem sooner rather than later. The money that Marie Anne gave me was only a week’s pay. Top that to my savings and I could get by for just a little while.

“How long until we are there?” I asked as I sat in the front seat of Evan’s truck.

I had the containers of baked goods on my lap. Being blindfolded gave me the sensation that we had been driving for hours and I was going to end up in another state.

“One minute,” he said. “Hang tight, Dena.”

The truck finally came to a stop.

Evan got out and I waited for him to open my door. When he did, he helped me out of the truck as I sighed. Games and cuteness aside, how old were we? How much had we gone through? And I was now being blindfolded? For what? What could he have done…

“Okay, Dena. Stand right here with me. Count to three in your head and take the blindfold off.”

“This is…”

“Just do it,” Evan said.

He let me go.

So I counted…

… one…

… two…

... three...

I slipped my fingers under the blindfold and took it off.

I let out a gasp.

I was standing at the back of my old bakery. My old business.

Evan stood with the back door open.

“Evan…”

“Now, to be fair, I don’t think we’re allowed to be here.”

“What?”

“I cut the chains off the door.”

“What?” I yelled louder. “Are you crazy?”

“Yes, I am,” Evan said. “I want to show you something.”

“Evan…”

“Come on,” he said. “We might not have much time.”

I walked toward the back door. It was familiar and hurt my heart. Evan led the way into the back of the bakery. He made me stop and then hurried away. A second later, strands of round white lights came on.

“Didn’t want to turn on the big lights,” Evan said. “So I found these and put them up.”

“I used to put them out front,” I whispered.

“And then… I’m going to sit here…”

Evan walked to a little bistro table that had one black chair. I picked out that table, along with three others. Same with the chairs. When I lost the business, I left everything. That was part of the deal to get out of it all without losing the house. I had to leave everything behind. And now Evan grabbed the chair and sat down.

“You can wait on me,” he said.

“What?”

“That’s why we’re here, Dena. I never got to experience your business. So do your thing.”

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“I am serious. Here we are.”

I walked to the stainless steel counter and put the containers down. Evan put out a plate and even had coffee there.

“Now, I would prefer a real drink,” he called out, “but I doubt you served up beer or whiskey, right?”

“Right,” I said.

I pulled the lids off the cookies and brownies. I tried to keep myself together as I took a cookie from the container. Then a brownie. My hands started to shake. I looked around the kitchen. I could see through to the front and outside to the street. It was lit up by other businesses still open and cars randomly passing by. I thought about all the early mornings here. All the late nights here. All the hours spent chasing down the dream.

“Dena?” Evan asked.

I looked at him.

I slowly pushed the plate away and backed up. I covered my mouth.

Evan stood up. “Hey, Dena…”

I put my other hand out.

I started to cry.

* * *

I thought Evan was going to jump over the counter to get to me. While I appreciated the gesture, I stepped forward and stopped him. My hand pressed against his perfectly hard chest, sending an unfair sensation through my body.

“Dena… talk to me…”

I inhaled a shaky breath. “What is this? Everything, Evan. You waited all this time…”

Evan swallowed hard. “Dena…”

“No,” I said. “No. You don’t get it…”

“Get what?” Evan asked. “Why hold back, sweetheart? I did all this to tell you I love you. I’ve been in love with you from the day I met you. The day I looked in the mirror of that stolen station wagon and saw the look on your face…”

“Then why did you love her?” I asked, feeling the dam cracking. “Why did you care for her? Why did you hold her hand? Why did you kiss her? Why did you fuck her? Why did you let her steal my dress and my dance with you? Why did you get her pregnant?”

My voice started to break into pieces, matching my heart.

Evan tried to make a move to come around the counter but I stopped him.

“So now you’re here to tell me you love me?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “And I’ve always loved you. I told you why I did what I did. If we’re doing this right now… fine. Kissing her? When the hell did you ever see me kiss her?”

“That first day,” I said.

“She kissed me, Dena. I never kissed her. And you don’t know…” I saw Evan holding back.

“What? Tell me, Evan. Right now.”

“I never slept with Anna,” Evan said.

“What?”

“Ever,” he said. “Okay? That’s the big fucking secret. I never slept with her.”

I shook my head. “Wait… then how…”

“I don’t know whose it was,” he said. “Okay? I must have slipped up and missed babysitting her one night. That’s what I did, Dena. I babysat her. You think I cared for her the way I care for you? No. Did I love her? Yes. But not in the way I love you. I loved her as this person who understands what it was like to be broken. That was it. I told myself if I kept her under wraps and you had the chance to succeed, then I was giving you the life you deserved. Because I sure as fuck couldn’t do it. And believe me, Tommy’s old man pointed that out to me over and over. He was right. I never knew where I was sleeping. Where my next meal was coming from.”

“Wait a second,” I said. “You didn’t get Anna pregnant…”

“No. She called me in a panic so I got her a pregnancy test. I told her I would be there for her. Because I knew it was going to be a strain on you and Beth.”

“Even when she lost it…”

“Yeah. I went to the hospital with you all.”

“I was so angry at you. So was Aunt Beth.”

“I know,” Evan said. “But here’s the thing… would it have been worse to know Anna got knocked up by some random guy at some random party?”

I swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”

“I did everything I could until I had to leave, Dena. That’s the truth. After the accident, I just had to go. That was my limit. I’ve regretted leaving since the day I did. Because of you, Dena. Because of you.”

“You and Anna never…?”

“Never,” he said. “And I told you I didn’t know about the dress. If I did, I wouldn’t have gone with her. If I knew you did that for me, Dena, I would have sold everything I owned to give you the best night ever. That’s why I’m doing this, sweetheart. I missed out on your success and I want you to see how much more you have to give in this world. I’m sorry that Anna is gone. It hurts me too. But it doesn’t mask my love for you.”

I was crippled with shock. So everything Evan had been saying was true. My heart was still ripped into pieces. All the mean things Anna did to me growing up. Forever picking on me about my weight. Forever teasing me about never getting touched by a boy. Leaving me feeling worthless when I didn’t lose my virginity in the timeframe she wanted which led me to make a dumb decision that I’d never get back.

“You could have had me all along,” I whispered to Evan.

“I know that, Dena,” he said. “I didn’t get all along with you. So can I just have right now?”

He put his hand out for me to take.

My gosh did I love him. I never loved anyone else in my life. No person came close. I never even had a real boyfriend or a real relationship because of Evan. I had dates and second dates and things that lasted a couple months here and there. But nothing was like Evan.

I looked at his hand, then at him. “You did all that for her with nothing in return?”

“If there was a one percent chance that it would make your life easier, then it was worth it.”

“You did all that for her because of my aunt? Because of me?”

Evan nodded.

“You broke into my old bakery…”

“Yes,” Evan said. “You see who I am and what I have to give, Dena. I’m not the dream, I get that. But I can be the fantasy. I can make that fantasy a reality.”

I took his hand. “You are the dream, Evan. The dream come true.”

I didn’t know what the hell I was doing but I started to climb on the counter. My knees on the stainless steel, shuffling across toward him. It was the quickest way to get to him. It seemed weirdly romantic.

Evan ripped his hand from mine and pulled at me, grabbing at the back of my legs. My ass hit the counter with an echoing thud but then our bodies were touching.

He hovered over me, the look in his eyes, the one I used to fall asleep imagining.

“I love you, Dena,” he said.

“I love you right back, Evan,” I said.

He kissed me and it had the allure of a first kiss.

The way he kissed me though… the way his hands pulled at me… the way he pressed at me… the way his right hand teased around the front of my jeans…

It may not have been our first kiss, but it was going to be my first time fooling around right there in my failed business.