Chapter 4 – Jesse
“Can you believe the nerve of him?”
I just kind of shrugged. Considering that I’d had to tell off a couple of rich business guys like him every day recently, I certainly could believe it. I knew men like the one who’d been in earlier in the day, too well. He was dressed in a suit that would pay the rent on the restaurant for six months and he walked around like he was infallible. Men like him drove me crazy, and the one who’d been in today was worse than most. The only difference was that he had been handsome and my body had been drawn to him.
That very fact had been the main reason I hadn’t even tried to hear his side of it. I didn’t want him standing there looking at me with his dark blue eyes that I was sure I could have fallen into. A man like him was dangerous.
“You know how they are. They think that they run the world. I don’t know. I just know that we need to get some more help in here or we’re just going to get more of them. Maybe if we could find a few people to work here, we could have them do deliveries or something. Then guys like him could stay in their ivory towers and wouldn’t have to come down here with the rest of us lemmings.”
Melissa laughed and pulled another chair up while she swept the front. I was getting everything in the cases bagged up to be given to the homeless shelter down the road. There were a lot of baked goods left; although it had been a busy day, we’d sold mostly coffee. I hated to throw anything away, and this had become one of the many things that I did out of habit. My father had started the practice years ago, and it was one of the partnerships that I wanted to make sure kept going. I was very worried about keeping his memory alive, and I knew that this was a good way to do it.
“He was cute, though.”
I looked at her as if she might be a traitor who was working for the other side. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about how cute he was. He was hot. The man had been smoking hot, and it had bothered me a little more than I wanted to admit to myself. I was sure that it was because I hadn’t been on a date in a while. I knew that was the only reason I would look at a man like him with anything more than contempt. He was the very thing that I hated about men like him. Men with money acted like the whole world owed them something, and though he was cute as all get-out, that didn’t change that one big character flaw of perceived perfection.
“Yeah, guys like him are always a little too good looking. I could never be with a man like that. I bet he would have to do it in front of a mirror so he could watch himself.”
Melissa just giggled a little and shook her head. “You’re never going to get married if you’re going to be so picky. That man is perfect.”
I kind of sighed at her. She sounded like my aunt, who was always telling me the very same thing. I tried to tell her that if I was to find someone, he would be who I wanted. I didn’t see the point of being with someone I didn’t really want to be with. It didn’t make sense to me. I wasn’t that unhappy being alone.
“That may be so, but I would rather be alone than with a guy like that.”
Melissa didn’t seem so sure, but I could tell that she wasn’t going to say anything else. We had had the same conversation too many times to count, and she knew where I stood, just like I knew where she stood on the situation. Melissa was always looking, and I just – wasn’t. I truly believed that if it were meant to be, it would be happen naturally.
“Well, speak for yourself. If a guy like that asked me out, I would jump on it in a heartbeat. A guy like that could change a girl’s outlook on life.”
I just shook my head and laughed at her. She was man crazy and I knew she was always going to be that way. Her optimism was something that I’d always been jealous of, though, and it was times like this, smiles like that, that made me wonder if I myself didn’t need a new outlook too.
“Well, I think you have a good outlook on life. You don’t need a man for that, Melissa.”
***
My friend’s words lingered in my mind longer than I would have thought. Just like when my aunt talked, I had to wonder if there was anything to what she was saying. Was I really wasting my time being so picky? But even as I thought that, I had to wonder if it would be worth it if I wasn’t so picky. There had been a time that I’d taken what I’d gotten and just dealt with it. I didn’t want to be that way again. The dysfunctional relationships I’d had, the crap I’d dealt with – I didn’t see how that would ever be better than the quiet life I had now.
When I got back upstairs to my apartment, I wasn’t ready to go through the closets that I’d planned to do the week before. I was still working on it, and although I knew it had to be done, I was feeling a little strange. Adding thoughts of my father to that wouldn’t have helped anything. Why did I let them get to me? Why had I let that man get to me today? I just didn’t understand it. Before long I was settling down to a book and some wine, trying to convince myself that everything was how I wanted it to be.
By morning I was feeling worse. The dreams that I’d had were still making me breathe a little faster. I’d dreamed about the man from the day before, the rude one that Melissa had pointed out was cute. I couldn’t help but think about him when I took my shower. I knew that I wouldn’t see him again, so I let my imagination get the best of me. Just for a moment, though.
I went downstairs when I heard the knock at the door. I thought it was Melissa, so I didn’t even bother to get dressed. I was still in my towel with my hair up. I stopped when I saw the same man from my dreams staring back at me through the glass door. I wanted to run, I really did, but he had already seen me and I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“What are you doing here? We don’t open for another half an hour.”
He just smiled and shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure that I was first in line for a cup today. If I’d known that you come out like this, I would have started coming here every morning long ago.”
I looked down at the towel that I was wearing. I could feel my face getting red, so I turned away before he could see the way he affected me. It took everything in me to not run away up the stairs. What was wrong with me lately?
To be continued in Part 2…