Chapter 2 – Damien
I had finally gotten back into my town of birth when my duties were done. It had been a long summer and as it had closed, the fight with the English seemed to slacken and many of the Lords serving were sent back home. The clans were pushing back the English and there was no need for me then. All I could think about in all the time I was away was of Harriet. She had been on my mind constantly and I was sure that she would be there waiting for me.
She had claimed that our relationship was impossible, but I failed to see the problem. We couldn’t get married because she was beneath me in status, but I had no obligations to get married. One day I would have to marry to produce an heir, but I had always imagined Harriet there with me. She may not be my wife or never would be, but she was the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and her status was of no real consequence to me.
I made my way to her father’s house, where she was undoubtedly still staying. She had told me that she would wait for me and I believed her. But as I drew nearer to the small, well-established home in Edinburgh, I had a sinking feeling in my gut that I just couldn’t shake.
Knocking softly at first, there was no answer and I knocked a little louder on the wooden door and waited for an answer. Finally there was the sound of movement in the dwelling and I waited for the girl’s father to open the door.
“I didn’t expect to see the likes of you again my lord.”
Her father said my title as though it was unearned and I didn’t know why that had bothered me so much. The older man had always been more than pleased with my attention to his daughter. But it appeared that the fact that he was happy to see me had changed. Something had it changed to make him feel that way and I wondered what was. Did he know that I had defiled his daughter? That I had taken her when she had finally begged me to make her a woman?
My cheeks got hot as the rest of me did thinking about her final submission before I had gone away to war. It had been the last time she was going to see me, but I had known differently. I knew that Harriet was the only woman that I would ever want and the idea of being without her was not something that I was prepared to live with. I was determined to come back to her and I had.
“Michael, it has been some time passed since I have seen you last. How is everything, how is Harriet?”
He just looked at me with a slightly slacked jaw as if I was speaking in a foreign language. I waited for him to answer, to invite me in, something. But instead he just looked at me for a moment.
“I am sorry for coming unannounced. Have I come at a bad time?”
“My daughter is not here and she won’t be back for some time.”
I was getting the feeling that something had happened, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask. “Is there any way you can tell me where I can find her then? I just got back into town and I have missed Harriet.”
Michael made a sound that could not be traced back to happiness. There was nothing that he wanted to do more than hit the man, the one that had ruined his daughter’s prospects. But he was of noble blood and was not to be touched. Even in the circumstance he found himself in, it would not be advisable to say what he truly wanted to say and do.
“I don’t think I will be doing that, Damien. I think that you and my daughter saw far too much of each other before you left for the clan wars against the English.”
I knew then that he knew and I wondered if Harriet had told him. She was a private woman and had always been discreet. I didn’t think she would have said anything to him, but she may have confided in someone else, only to find them betraying her trust for one reason or another. I may not have known anything, but I had already known personally the treachery a woman was capable of.
“I miss her is all Michael. I never realized that you thought we saw too much of each other.”
“It would be different if you were going to marry her…”
The man was working himself up and I had seen that look before. Instead of staying and arguing with him, I started back the way I had come. Getting back into the carriage, the older man was still standing at the door staring at me. What had happened for him to change his temperament so thoroughly around me? I blanched at the idea that he had known what I had done, what I had coerced his daughter into doing before I left. It wasn’t that I had made her, far from it, but I had known the consequences if anyone found out. There were to be none to me, but for a woman, they could be far from benign. Had she been sent away because of me?
The more I thought about it, the more I was sure that it was what had happened. Where would he send her though and for how long? There were too many questions going on in my brain for me to think very clearly. I wasn’t sure why everything was not going the way I had planned. All I could think about was Harriet and now knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to see her that evening, I needed a drink more than anything else. There was nothing I could do that night but focus on finding somewhere to stay. It was going to be cold without Harriet next to me and it made me wish that I had never left.
“It would be different if I would marry her…” The man’s words rolled around in my head while I started paying attention to the small establishments around me, stopping only when I saw a tavern that would help me forget about Harriet for a time.
***
I was drowning my sorrows when I saw an old friend and was soon reminiscing about the old days, before there was war and so many problems in the countryside that took up all of my time. I was trying to think of something other than Harriet, but Gregor brought her up.
“Where is that sweet little blond lass that you were chasing around last time you were here?”
My mind went right back to where I was trying to leave, the place I was trying to forget, but there was no use. I couldn’t forget her.
“I don’t know. Her father was ready to take my head off it felt like when I went over there. You haven’t heard anything, have you?”
Gregor shook his head that he hadn’t and I couldn’t help but smile at the redheaded man. We had been to many of the same parties when we were children and even then, he had been an enigma that was hard to ignore. He was always smiling and seemed so happy, no matter what was going on around him. I had secretly wished more than once that I could just shrugged things off as he could. I doubted that any hot-blooded man could, just shake a woman like Harriet off without some discomfort to them being felt though, not even him. She was the type of woman that a man could see himself marrying. Could I see myself marrying her? Even though it would go against everything, it was a thought that had crossed my mind more than once before. I could still remember the way she had looked up at me with those smoky brown eyes.
“I haven’t heard anything, but you may have been gone too long. She was very beautiful and there were no shortage of male admirers.”
I nodded, knowing what he said was true, but something in me told me that she was mine. It was a feeling that I had when I was with her. She would not find someone else. Harriet had told me that I was the only one and she wanted to me to be the only one ever. I knew that she had meant it and I didn’t know until then how much I wanted to believe her. What man wouldn’t want to think that his woman was only with him, only loved him and was the only one that had ever touched her body, heard the soft gasps of pleasure?
Gregor clapped me on the shoulder roughly and started to laugh at me. “I see you are thinking about her still!”
I didn’t deny it and he started in on a loud round of guffaws that irritated me more than they should have. Was I really that easy to read? I decided that I probably was, when it came to Harriet anyways. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and even knowing that Gregor was watching for a reaction, I gave him one. I didn’t want to, but it was hard to deny the way she made me feel.
“I do and now I can’t find her. Tell me you will ask around for me?”
Gregor nodded that he would, even though he didn’t understand going through all the trouble for one dame. “There are many women here that would be more than happy to take her place for the night. You look like you could use something to clear your mind.”
I nodded, sure that he was right about that and my eyes had noticed a few lovely ladies that were giving me the eye and a smile. But they didn’t have the straw colored hair that I had grown to love so much that I dreamed about burying my face in. None of them were Harriet and thus, not what I wanted. There was a blonde-headed girl that would pass from her, as long as I kept her quiet and took her from behind, but knowing that it wasn’t her would plague me the whole time, I was sure of it.
“My mind will be clear enough when I find her. You look around old friend and I am going to get some sleep.”
He nodded and waved me away. I almost stayed there, not wanting to go back home to my empty bed without her, but I knew that I had to. I didn’t know why she was missing and I didn’t know where she was, but I knew that I was going to find out soon enough. I had to have her and knew nothing else would matter until I found my Harriet.