Chapter 4 – Erin
I was packing up my things. I had been at Rose’s almost two weeks, but she was about to leave for a couple of months and I was going to have to get myself together. I knew that there were a lot of things that I could have been doing, like getting the museum ready to close, but I had basically quit that job. I hadn’t been back to my apartment, knowing that I was going to have to find somewhere else. I had done none of the things that I was supposed to do. What I had done instead was mope around and feel sorry for myself.
Now it was time to move on and I still wasn’t really sure what I was going to do to fix it all. It was hard to think of a solution when one just didn’t seem to materialize. I had thought about Drake and my situation for some time, but nothing was really jumping out at me. It had been nice to live with Rose again, and it made me realize how lonely I was there by myself. I missed my father and the rest of the people who had drifted off through the years. More than that, I missed Drake and all of the open possibilities that had come with him and me together.
I told myself I was just dreaming. He wasn’t some knight in shining armor and I wasn’t a damsel in distress. Well, the first part was true, anyways. That had to count for something.
I picked up the small suitcase and wheeled it in next to the door. I wasn’t able to get anything else into it, so I searched for an extra bag to put in the clothes that Rose had forced on me. She was going more traditional, and I fit into most of her clothes that were a little more risky. It wasn’t my style, but if I had learned nothing more in the last couple of weeks, I had learned that the way I was doing things just wasn’t working. I needed to do something new, and as I turned around in the mirror, I thought that a new little black dress was the way to go. This time I wouldn’t let it get me in trouble.
I was just about to go to my car – my hand was literally on the door – when I heard a knock. It scared me a little, and I backed away from the door. I figured it was Rose back from her secret meeting, and I wanted to see her before I left. I’d told her that I was leaving today, but I hadn’t told her where I was going because I didn’t even know.
“Hey, girl…”
I stopped when I realized that it wasn’t Rose looking for her keys, but Drake standing at the door. I was speechless for a moment and didn’t know what to do. What in the world was he doing there, and why was he looking at me like that?
“What do you want, Drake?”
There was contempt in my voice. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know if I really wanted to anyway. There was something about him that threw me off, and him standing there now was not helping me at all. I wanted him to tell me what he wanted so that I could go on about my business without him. I had to fight the melting that was going on inside of me and figure out a way to pretend that I didn’t care. It was hard to do, though, when I cared too much and my heart was pounding in my chest.
“I want you, Erin, and since you won’t answer your phone, I had to come down here to see you.”
I didn’t know how he knew where I was or what he was doing there. It seemed a little too late for everything, and I needed to get away.
“Well, I don’t want to talk to you, so why don’t you just go and save us both some trouble?”
I moved to slam the door in his face. It was because I was mad, but also because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. All I knew was that I needed him out of my sight. I wasn’t going to be okay with seeing him. How could I be when I knew that the only reason he was there was because of some guilt that he felt? I didn’t want to make him feel any better about what he’d done. I didn’t think I was ever going to feel any better about it.
But he wasn’t going to have that from me. He stopped the door from closing with one of his beefy hands against the hard wood. He pushed himself in and then I shut the door behind him. There was nothing to do but to talk to him. He was the type that always got what he wanted, and if he wanted to talk, then I was going to give him just that. I was sick of hiding, and it wasn’t like I had done anything wrong. He was the one who had lied and used me to get what he wanted.
All the bravado left me when our eyes met, though. I had never really been able to tell him no, and looking at him now I knew this was not going to be the first time. He was handsome and in one of the suits that I remembered so well. My heart was already racing and my body remembered him fondly. Everything that I’d told myself was a lie, and he was there in front of me again.
“Erin, I think that it is time that we finally talked.”
He moved towards me but I skirted around him and moved deeper into the apartment. I needed space between us or I wasn’t going to be able to think clearly. If he got his hands on me, I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to tell him no on any account. There were things that I would like to say; I just needed a little space to say them.
“What do you want to talk about, Drake? I heard about the sale and the demolition. I was told everything that I needed to know and more.”
“Mary.”
He didn’t ask it as a question, so I figured that he knew it was that rude woman who had told me everything. She certainly hadn’t spared me any details. She’d been clear about what was going on. What I didn’t know was why he was in front of me now or why he had sent her and couldn’t have just told me himself.
“Yes, Mary. Your little assistant was a nice touch. I could have done without that, but I guess that is how businessman like you are, aren’t you?”
Drake tried to take another step towards me, but I didn’t want anything to do with any close proximity with him. I didn’t want him near me. I put my hand up like it would shield me from his touch. “Just stop, Drake. I get it, okay. I know what you wanted, and you got it, so I get it.”
I turned away from him because I knew that my voice and face were going to give away my true emotions. I wasn’t supposed to care, that is what I told myself, but it was a lie through and through.
“I didn’t know you then, Erin. I didn’t know I was going to feel this way.”
I stopped him before he could say more. Turning around, I really looked at him. Our eyes finally met, and for once I was not going to be meek. I had spent too much time being afraid of my own shadow, but I was finally drawing the line somewhere. He was too much and what he had done to me was too much.
“So it was okay when I was just a woman that you wanted to get in bed?”
Drake was full of audacity, and I knew that it was because of how he was raised. I was almost sure then that he had never been told no in his life. When I’d told him no, I just unwittingly became a challenge. It made me wonder if I was still a challenge to him. Was that why he was still pursuing me?
He grabbed my shoulders and moved to kiss me. I turned my face and got out of his grasp. There was no way that I was going to be okay with that, and I didn’t want him to even try.
“You have to forgive me, Erin. I will do whatever you want me to do.”
I just shook my head. I had gone from turned on, to mad, to furious, and now I wasn’t even sure what all I was feeling. There were just too many emotions, and his touch wasn’t helping any of them.
“You should have kept up your end of the bargain, Drake.”
He stopped moving towards me and I could see something new in his depths. “Is that really all you are worried about, your job?”
I had to bite my lip to not give him all of what I was thinking. “I am not worried about the job. That is the only home I have known, Drake. My father raised me there, and now that he has passed, that is all I have left of him. Then you come around and want to buy it up, tear it down and make it into another club where mindless people can dance around mindlessly.”
There was a pause as I tried to collect my thoughts on what bothered me more than anything else. “More than that, you made me fall for you and then I find out it is all lies. I fell in love with a man who doesn’t even exist. That is the worst part of it all.”
Drake finally moved towards me and grabbed my upper arms, pulling me to him. “It wasn’t all lies. Nothing but the deal was, Erin, and I can change that.”
“Mary says that you never back out of business.”
His lips got closer and he shook his head gently. “Business does not matter. I will find somewhere else and I will stick to what I said. This is not a lie.” He put his hand on my chest and I knew that he could feel the pounding of my heart. “This can’t be a lie because every time we are together, mine does the exact same thing.”