Chapter 7
“Davina, I just want to talk to you.”
She played with her hair, the side effect of her nervousness. She was always nervous when it came to Donnie and now that they were split up and hadn’t talked in weeks, it was strange that he was calling then. Davina had always suspected that men like him had a radar. It was like he somehow knew that she had moved on and he was there to spoil it and make her wonder if there was a chance for them.
“What is there to talk about Donnie? I think everything or enough was said before.”
“I miss you.”
Davina closed her eyes and sighed. She missed him to, until she had met Marcel and he had made her almost completely forget about him and the very reason they weren’t together anymore. “I just got in from the weekend and I am tired. I just want to have a glass of wine and relax before work tomorrow.
“Well how about we go out for lunch tomorrow? That is unless you want to get together tonight.”
She shook her head to an empty room, more to herself to solidify her no. Her body was jacked up with need because of the closeness with Marcel. It was tempting to have him come over, love her and take her like she needed. But it wasn’t Marcel and would not be what she truly wanted. She didn’t truly want Donnie anymore. She was over him and that very fact told her that he had never been the one to begin with.
“I will see you for lunch. Where do you want to meet?”
“Anywhere. How about Tony’s?”
It was there place naturally, the place they had had their first date, as well as the couple of anniversaries after that. Of course he would pick that place, she thought to herself. Of course he would want to flaunt all of their memories and feelings, making it hard for her to forget him.
“Tony’s is fine Donnie. But I just want you to know, this is not going to work.”
“What? I am just trying to talk. We used to be best friends and I just miss you.”
Davina agreed to meet him and when she hung up the phone, there was a moment of question as to why he was really calling. She assumed that he had just broken up with his girlfriend and was feeling lonely. Davina knew if he had come over then, they both would have regretted what happened. She would have anyways and even though her body screamed at her for saying no, Davina went to sleep fairly easy.
***
“I was wondering if you wanted to go get a sandwich for lunch.”
Davina looked up from the papers she was looking at on her desk, contracts for a new deal that Elna had started before her heart issue. She had been watching the clock all day and every couple of minutes since ten. While the offer was one that she should have expected, Davina hadn’t thought of what she would say to Marcel. She didn’t want him thinking that she was back with Donnie, though when she thought about it, from an outside perspective she would wonder what she was going to meet him for, if not to get back together.
So instead, she stuttered through a lie that she had plans with an old college friend. Marcel didn’t believe her, she could see by the way he looked at her for a moment, but like the gentleman that he was, he didn’t call her out on it. Instead he just nodded his head, “Maybe tomorrow then.”
Davina watched the back of him and her heart slumped. She didn’t like having to lie to him and it was the last thing that she had wanted to do. “Yes, I would love to tomorrow Marcel. And I wanted to thank you again for this weekend. I had a really good time and I hope that we will get to do it again soon.”
He turned back and smiled, but there was something else in his eyes that she hadn’t seen before. Something akin to disappointment and she almost stopped him to tell him the truth, but it was already too late. If she said anything then, he would think she was just a liar or that there was more going on then there was.
She left for lunch at exactly twelve o clock and she fought the urge to look towards Marcel’s office. It was strange them not going together, especially since they had went every day since he had come in to take Elna’s place. While she missed her friend and mentor, Davina was getting used to having Marcel around and she didn’t even want to think about how much of a bummer it was going to be when he was gone. But to lie to him in the little bit of time that they had together, and for Donnie, Davina wished that she hadn’t agreed to the date.
But she went as she promised and met him at the small Italian place on the other side of town. There was bread on the table, as well as wine. He knew hew weakness, carbs and alcohol and she made mention to that. “I will use whatever I have to Davina. I told you that I missed you and I meant it. You know that I haven’t dated anyone since we split up. I took the time to really think about everything.”
When he stopped she waited, only half hearing him as she took a drink of wine. She was more concerned with the guilt of being there, feeling like she was somehow betraying Marcel. “So what conclusion did you come to Donnie?”
“That I messed up and I am sorry if I felt like you were pressuring me. I am ready if you are because I would rather be pushed into something that I didn’t want to do with you, than to be with anyone else. I can’t even think about it.”
She stopped and set the glass down. It was not what she had expected, but even in true fashion, he was doing it wrong. He couldn’t even ask her back the right way. “Did you hear what you just said? You would rather be pushed into something that you didn’t want to do. Am I to take it you are talking about marriage?”
“Yes, I will marry you if that is what you want. I will do anything if that is what it takes for you to come back to me, then so be it.”
“So be it, huh? Wow, how could I say no to such an offer?”
“It wasn’t meant to be a bad thing.”
“I know and to you it isn’t. That just makes it even clearer that it will never work. How can it when the very idea of getting married is some worst case scenario for you? I don’t want to be some one’s worst case scenario.”
“You’re not. I swear you are taking this the wrong way. I have really thought about what you said and you are right, it is time to take it to the next level. This is what I meant. I just can’t seem to get it out right. You know how I feel about marriage? This is a big step Davina.”
It was. He was terrified of marriage as most women were afraid of spiders. At first, she had taken it as a challenge, sure that if their love was strong enough, he would change his mind and want to. But as the years had went by, that just simply wasn’t the case and she was left wishing that she had chosen someone else. Now she had a chance and she wanted to take that chance with Marcel. Davina wasn’t even sure that he wanted her in that way, but it was worth the risk for her. She wanted him more than she wanted to try again with Donnie. It had stopped working and ended for a reason. It was silly of her to think that it would be different.
“I know it is a big thing for you Donnie, but you are missing the point. I want someone who wants to marry me. He will ask and I won’t even have to say anything because he will want to. I love you and I always will, but I am not in love with you anymore.” Davina could hear the conviction in her voice and so could Donnie.
He pushed his thick hand through his blonde hair, wishing that he hadn’t waited so long to go to her. “Is there someone else?”
She paused, not sure how to answer. Davina didn’t know what was going on between her and Marcel, but she wanted to find out. Did that count?
“No, not really. I just can’t go back to this, to us. You broke up with me and if you would have come to me a week or a couple of days after it happened, I would have taken you back, but not now. You will find the one you are supposed to be with and when you do, you will want to marry her. I am sure not the one.”
She failed to mention that he was no longer the one for her, trying to make it an easier pill to swallow. There was something that she had always loved about Donnie, but she knew now that there was more and Davina wanted more. How could she not?
Davina put him down as easily as she could and when they left, he wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t really that upset either. He knew that he had waited too long and Donnie would have to deal with the what-ifs. Davina was moving on.
“Can I have one last kiss, for old times?”
She nodded that he could. Closing her eyes, she leaned in slowly and felt his lips touch her. It was a goodbye kiss, but still intimate. Everything had always been intimate with Donnie. What she didn’t expect was for him to be yanked back and away from her.