Chapter 3 – Jesse
It was a week before the wedding, and I have to admit I wasn’t paying much attention to my job. When I looked up from the register, I saw the same elderly woman who I’d seen every day for almost two weeks. She had the same color hair as me, and her eyes were only a few shades lighter green than mine, but there was something else about her that pulled my attention. Today, I tried looking right into her eyes. There was something there, some connection that I hadn’t felt before, and it bothered me a little bit.
“Can I help you, ma’am? The usual?”
She nodded her head and I started to get the coffee that my father had made so famous. Everyone wanted it, and just like my father, the older woman wanted it black with a raspberry Danish. My father used to eat the same thing every morning, though he would never tell me why. How strange it was to me, that coincidence, and when I mentioned it to her as I was ringing her up, she said something that stopped me in my tracks. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence after all.
“You know, I used to know a man like that a long time ago. He would drink his coffee and dip the Danish in it, telling me that it was all the sugar he needed to sweeten it.”
I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I thought I knew who she was, but I had to be sure. It made sense, all of it, all of a sudden, but I still wasn’t sure. “Who are you?”
“I’m your mother, Jesse. We look so much alike that I thought you would have figured it out by now. I didn’t know how to tell you, so I hoped that you would ask.”
I was standing there with my mouth open and the never-ending line behind her. Of all of the places and of all of the ways to meet my mother again! I didn’t know what to say to her, and I knew I had to get to the next customer before long.
“Can we talk later, maybe after you close, Jesse?”
Nodding my head, I told her that we closed around three and that I would like to speak to her. I was full of emotions that left me speechless, but there was a lot that I wanted to ask her, a lot that I wanted to know. I’d said before that I didn’t care, but I did. My father was gone, and now that she was there, I had to learn about her. More than that, I had to ask her why she’d left and why I’d spent most of my life without a mother. I only had a few memories that involved her, and they were faded so much in my mind that I sometimes wondered if I’d made them up.
I watched her leave with mixed emotions. I was excited at the idea that I might get some answers, but I wasn’t sure why she was there. And I was worried that she wasn’t going to come back.
“Who was that?”
I looked back at Melissa. I knew my face was different. I’d been thinking about what I was going to say to Clara, and I was torn with emotions.
“That was my mother.” I said it plain and simple, like it was no big deal, but Melissa knew different. I could tell that she wanted to say something to me, but the steady stream of customers kept us both silent for a time.
“Are you okay?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure if I was okay. I was still anxious to see how everything worked out first. Then I would know if I was going to be okay or not.
“Well, what did she say?”
“She wants to talk after the shop closes.”
“Do you want me to stick around so that you don’t have to be alone with her?”
I was tempted, but I knew that I had a lot of things to ask. Having Melissa around wouldn’t make that any easier.
“No, I think I can handle it. I just want to ask her a few questions and see what happens. I don’t know, Melissa. I wish Dad were here. He would know what to say.”
She bumped me and smiled, trying to make me feel better. “Let me take over the register for a while and you go get something to eat. You haven’t eaten all day.”
Food was the last thing on my mind, but a few moments with my own thoughts sounded good. I thanked her before going into the back.
***
I waited nervously for my mother. It was already four o’clock. Scott was going to be back soon, and I wanted to know what was going on before he got there. I didn’t want to get my hopes up and then have everything go south. By now I was starting to wonder if she was even going to come at all. Me waiting for her to come back seemed to be a reoccurring theme in my life.
I heard the jingle of the front door and looked up. Clara was coming in, and she was smiling at me. It had been a while, and all of the tough acting aside, it was good to see her. The connection that I’d felt before made sense. She was my mother.
“Do you want to go somewhere to talk, or stay here?”
“We can do whatever you want, Jesse. I don’t have a preference either way. I would just like to talk to you. You look a lot like your father. How is he?”
Her question made me stop. She didn’t know. Why did I think that she would? “Dad is gone. He died a couple of months ago.”
Clara sat down at the counter and reeled like she’d been physically hit with something. “I didn’t know. Oh, Jesse, I should have come sooner.”
She moved to me and pulled me into an embrace. At first I fought the warmth of her, but I eventually gave in. It felt good to be held by her. No matter what had come between us, she was still my mother in the end.
We spent the next couple of hours catching up. There was a lot to catch up on, and we finally settled in upstairs with a bottle of wine. She helped me go through dad’s closet, and she told me all kinds of stories about the two of them before it all ended so badly.
When I told her about my engagement to Scott, Clara seemed even more interested, and before I knew it, I was inviting her to the wedding. It was short notice, but I couldn’t think of anyone else that I would rather have there. I wasn’t happy with everything that had happened and the way she’d left, but if anyone deserved a second chance it was her. She was family, after all.
By the time she left it was dark outside and Scott still wasn’t back from work. I called him, a little worried, and he told me he would be back soon. He had news. I told him that I had news too.
“I’ll see you when I get home, Jesse. I love you.”
“I love you too.”