Chapter 2 – Zane
I waited for her to say the words, but Camilla was still face-down on her desk. I watched her full, round ass move as she breathed, and before a minute had passed, I was hard again. I wanted to be inside of her, and since she wasn’t ready to tell me she loved me as well, I was going to make her scream out my name. I was going to make her love me.
Sliding back inside quickly, I heard the sharp intake of air and the gasp as I drilled home. Some might say that it was ironic that I was banging the very person who was supposed to be helping me with a sex addiction, but to me it just seemed right. How could being inside of her be wrong?
***
I felt lighter when I got out of the doctor’s office. She always made me feel that way, and it was something that I’d come to rely on. Camilla kept my anger down, and for once I was able to get through a day without getting into an altercation. Everyone around me thought that she was working wonders on me, but it wasn’t her intellect and advice helping, it was the tight pussy in between her legs and the innocent moans that did it for me.
The problem was becoming clear, though. It wasn’t enough. Once a week wasn’t enough, and even though my company would pay for more sessions if I needed it, that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to wake up to her every day and go to bed with her in my arms every night. I was past loving her. As far as I was concerned, it was time for us to get married and start our life together. I didn’t want to wait anymore, and I didn’t want to be apart from her.
It hadn’t been an hour since I left Camilla, and I could already feel the need to see her again coming back in full force. I wondered if she felt the same way. I’d felt for sure that she did, but then she hadn’t said it back. That fact was running around in my mind, and I didn’t know how to take it. I’d made her come over and over again, and still nothing. What was I doing wrong?
What had felt like a cloud that I was walking on now felt like just thin air under my feet. I needed a drink before I went home. I’d walked to Camilla’s office because I only lived a few blocks away, but instead of going home, I made my way to the bar down the road. I needed a drink and I was itching for a fight as well, anything to get my mind off of the what-ifs and don’t-knows.
Johnny was behind the bar and had a beer and a shot of whiskey in front of me before I could even order it. “Good man.”
I didn’t know why he was always so nice, but I suspected it was because he’d seen me get into it with far too many people in that bar.
“How are we feeling today? You got that look in your eyes, and I just replaced the bar stools that you broke last time.”
“I paid well for those stools, plus some.”
He kind of cocked his head to the side. “Yeah, you did. I’m just asking to see if I need to get ready.”
I kind of chuckled and took a sip of my drink. Was it really that obvious that I was about to go off the handle? I didn’t like the idea that I was that easy to read, but I was definitely feeling it. I wanted to do something to get all of this aggression out. I could have picked up another girl, but she wouldn’t be what I wanted. It would have just made the feeling worse.
Getting my phone out of my pocket, I saw Johnny going to another customer as I ignored his question. How was I supposed to know how tonight was going to go? Flipping through recent pictures, I looked at the ones I’d taken today. When Camilla had had her face buried in the desk and I was sliding my cock into her, I’d gotten a short video that I started to play.
The sounds that she made were sidetracking, and it was hard for me not to want to call her. I put the number in my phone several times, but quickly ended the call before it could go through. I didn’t know if she was still at work. Most likely not because of the time of day. I didn’t have her cell phone number, and that had never occurred to me until then. How was I supposed to get a hold of her now?
That frustrated me to no end. The anger was rising inside of me. I wanted to break the phone because of how stupid I felt about it. How had I not gotten her number? I would have broken the phone if there wasn’t such good content on it. I didn’t want to lose the pictures of her as she came down from her orgasms, or the video that I’d made today. I did want to break something, though.
“Hey man, don’t I know you from somewhere?”
The ill-advised man had his hand on my shoulder like we were friends. I didn’t know him, and even if I had, I would never allow someone to be that close to me. I didn’t like to be touched, and I certainly didn’t want the man’s breath on my face. I could smell the booze on his words and the stale smell crinkled my noise.
“I don’t know you, now get off of me.” I pushed the man back pretty hard and waited for him to say something. He didn’t, just fell to the floor because he was too drunk to pick himself up. There was a moment where I thought about just taking all of my frustrations out on him, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be enough. He wouldn’t fight back for that long, and I wasn’t into just beating someone down. I wanted to get hit, and I wanted them to try, and then I wanted to win. That was the only way that I was going to feel better.
Johnny was looking at me, waiting for me to do what he thought I would. Instead I tipped the glass again. I needed more to drink. When I got what I wanted, I moved to the back of the bar to see if there was anyone that I could start something with. There had to be someone in here that could get my adrenaline going.
***
I waited for the office to open. I knew that Camilla’s office opened at nine and I hadn’t slept a wink. My face still hurt from the fight the night before, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I had to see Camilla, and I was afraid she wasn’t going to want to speak to me. Why hadn’t she just told me that she loved me back? Was that really so hard?
Getting the answering machine, I threw the phone to the ground and watched the pieces come apart. It wasn’t the first time that I’d done it, so I knew that it was only going to take a minute to put it back together. Why wasn’t anyone answering?
Putting it back together, I started the phone back up and pulled the short brown strand out of my mouth. I’d been chewing on it since I’d found it on my jacket. I knew that it belonged to Camilla, and in a way it made me feel closer to her.
“Dr. Loring’s office, how can I help you?”
“I need to speak to Camilla.”
“You need to speak to the doctor? May I ask who is calling?”
“No, you can’t. Just put her on the line.”
“She’s in with a client. Would you like to leave a message?”
“I know that she’s drinking coffee in her office, so put me through now.”
I was watching Camilla drink her coffee. It was what she did every morning, and it had become a routine of mine to watch her through her window. Now I wanted to be in there with her when she did it. I didn’t want to miss her as much as I did, and even though I was tired, I wouldn’t have missed seeing her for anything in the world.
The woman on the phone sounded like she wanted to say something, but she must have thought better of it because she didn’t try to argue with me. It wouldn’t have done her any good anyways. I heard the ringing going through to Camilla’s phone, and I almost melted right there when I heard her voice.
“Hello?”
“Camilla, I need to talk to you. What time can I come in?”
“I’m booked today, Zane.”
“Well, cancel your afternoon. I need to see you.” I hated to hear the desperation in my voice, but I knew that I couldn’t help it. I had to see her.
“Okay, Zane. Come on by after four. That’s when my last client will be gone.”
“I want to see you now!”