Chapter 3 – Maya
“Hey, sleepyhead. Are you going to get up?”
I moved up and opened my eyes. I woke up in the darkness of the room upstairs. I knew that it was my own room, and I was immediately saddened. The dream had been so real. I could have sworn that it was Dylan’s voice that I’d heard seconds ago.
Rubbing my eyes, I looked at the clock and sighed to myself. Tyler was going to be home soon, and even though I hadn’t gone to the charity event the night before, I knew that I couldn’t let go of all of my responsibilities. We went to see his parents once a week, and tonight was the night. He was always on time, and if I didn’t get it together soon, I was going to make us late. He detested being late, and even though I didn’t care much about his moods, I didn’t want Tyler irked at me.
The phone rang. I thought it was going to be Tyler reminding me that he would be there soon to pick me up, but it was actually Dylan.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
“How did you know that I’d just woken up?”
“I could hear it in your voice. I wish I was there to wake up with you.”
“Soon, Dylan.” I stopped when I realized what I’d said. Had I already made a decision that I wasn’t quite ready to say out loud? It appeared that I was closer to what I was going to do than I’d first thought. I was not torn about it after all.
“I like the sound of that. When can I hold you again?”
I’d told him about the dinner plans that I had, but I hadn’t told him who it was with. It was hard enough on Dylan knowing that I was married. I didn’t want to rub it in his face while I was at it. It just didn’t seem right. But now I was at a loss as to what to say.
“I don’t know. I’ll be back in a little while, and if Tyler takes off to see Ivy like he’s been doing lately, I’ll just come down to the restaurant and see you. Maybe we can sleep for a couple of hours if that’s what you really want to do.”
“I don’t want to hold you if there’s another choice. I want to make love to you until we both pass out, and then we can hold each other.”
I had to laugh. No matter what kind of mood I was in and no matter what I had ahead of me, Dylan could always make me laugh and feel better. It was a knack that he had.
“Soon, Dylan.”
He sighed loudly and I knew that he was getting impatient with the way things were. He wanted me all of the time, and right now there wasn’t a way to do that. Right now I still had to pretend to be the good wife, and it was hard. I didn’t want to be torn between two men when my heart was very clear who it wanted. I was ready to move on to new love and see where it went with Dylan. The man loved me, and I was ready to be cherished for the rest of my life. I would never again have to question if I were loved.
Dylan was upset with me, and I tried to soothe him with the reminder that I was most likely going to call him a bit later.
“I don’t like having to wait to see what your husband has planned before we can figure something out. There are too many people in our relationship, Maya.”
“I know, Dylan. That’s not always going to be the case.”
“I hope not. I’m sick of sharing you already.”
“I know, Dylan. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”
“We can talk about it later. Don’t you have a dinner party to go to?”
“Yeah, I’m running late already.”
“Go. Don’t want your husband mad at you because he has to wait.”
There was bitterness in his voice that I hated to hear. “Please don’t be mad, Dylan. I’ll call you as soon as we’re done. I want to see you, be with you.”
He didn’t answer for a time, and I had to wonder what he was thinking was going to happen that night. I wanted to reassure him, but it would have just made things worse. I don’t think anything I would have said then would have helped. I knew that it was hard for him because of Tyler, but it was a huge decision. I’d made it in my mind, what I wanted to do, but there was still something holding me back. I was sure that it was just fear. I was afraid of what would happen, or maybe I was just afraid of being happy.
“I’m not mad, Maya. You told me what it was when we went out that first time. I just didn’t know that I was going to fall for you like this. It’s hard to think about you going anywhere with him.”
“I’ll call you as soon as we get out of there and I’m alone, I promise.”
“That’s all I’m going to get, so I’ll take it. I just don’t have to like it.”
“I don’t like it either.”
“Then change it, Maya.”
He hung up after he said goodbye, but he didn’t even stay on long enough for me to say it back. I could tell that he was angry. It wasn’t hard to feel it even though he was so far away. It wasn’t as easy as he was making it out to be, and I had a feeling that he knew that. That was where the frustration came from. I felt it too, but it wasn’t the right time.
The phone rang again, and I almost answered by saying his name. The split-second decision not to saved me a lot of grief, because it was my husband.
“I’m waiting out front. Are you ready?”
“No, Tyler, I’m going to be a few moments. I had a headache so I had to lie down for a while.”
There was a long sigh. I knew that it was not what he wanted to hear. Tyler hated to be late for anything when it came to his parents. He was trying to live up to impossible expectations.
“Just get down here as soon as you can. You know that he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“Much like his son. I’ll hurry as fast as I can.”
He hung up without saying anything else. I was close to tears. I was never going to make him happy. I’d tried for so many years, and even though we didn’t share a bed together, he was still willing to keep up the charade for his parents. It made him feel like he was in control, and more than likely it was to show his father that he could be a better man. If he only realized how alike they really were.
Getting up, I moved slower than I should have. I no longer cared too much that he was waiting or that he was going to be upset. All I was thinking about was the biggest decision of my life. It had to be made soon, because this was going to be the last time that I played the dutiful wife. That part of my life was over.