CHAPTER TEN
Dixie Rose
I rub Echo’s knee as he maneuvers the white Ford F-150 through the streets. It’s the first time I’ve had alone with him in days. Between keeping an eye on Charm, and helping Shadow with the wedding while I help Blue…we’re two ships passing in the night. Moving in together is looking better by the second. “Where are you taking me?”
“Somewhere to chip away at our old bucket list.”
My nipples harden and I scoot closer to him, pressing my body against his side. “The list?” I ask, circling his sensitive ear with my tongue.
“Yep. Been too long since we marked off another place. I still remember when we got wasted that night and came up with it,” he says, chuckling.
“Our twenty dream places to have sex.” I nip his lobe. “You were always corrupting me.”
“You loved it,” he teases.
“I’ll let you in on a secret,” I say, massaging his thigh, “I still do.”
“Evil ass.”
“I’ll show you how evil I can be.” I massage the swell in his jeans and giggle when he growls.
“Never figured you for a tease.”
“Oh, I’m not.” I unzip his pants and pull him out into the open.
“Shit! D’Rose.”
“Better concentrate on the road,” I say, circling his head with my thumb. Leaning over I take him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around his thickening girth. He buries a hand in my hair and follows my rhythm. I take him deep into my throat, humming and bobbing.
“Right there, babe. Take this dick.” He pops his hips up as much as he can and still drive.
I close my eyes, losing myself in the scent and feel. He’s silk wrapped around steel. I feel the car veer to the right. The road changes, and I know we’re headed out away from the hustle and bustle. The pickup tipped me off immediately to him being up to something, but the tarp on the back prevented me from guessing as to what. I suck harder.
“Shit. You’re going to make me come before the fun even begins.”
I ease off and grip his base, licking the veins that run down the side of his dick. “Never that,” I promise. His cock twitches and I smirk. I still know him just as well as he knows me. There’s not an inch of his body I didn’t explore and know as well as my own once. The truck comes to a stop and I lift my head.
He runs his thumb across the corners of my lips. “You look so fucking hot with your lips all swollen from sucking my cock.”
“Such a dirty mouth.”
“That wants to do dirty things to your pretty body,” he says nodding.
I shiver in anticipation. My panties are soaked, and my pulse points are throbbing. The man literally makes me weak in the knees and he hasn’t even touched me yet. He cups my face and kisses me with a gentleness that makes me fall in love with him all over again. “I love you,” I say against his lips.
“Love you, too, babe.” We separate, and he moves away to open his door. “Stay there.”
I smile as he walks to the back of the truck, preparing the scene. He can be sweet as hell when he wants to be.
After a few minutes, he opens the passenger door and offers up his hand.
I take it and allow him to walk me to the back. The pallet of sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows makes me smile.
“Sex under the stars, comfortable like,” Echo says.
“You’re proud of yourself, aren’t you?”
“I am. Back then, we could never get enough time together. Between dodging your father, mine, and the members of the club, all our moments were stolen. Now, we can do as we please. I’m taking advantage of being out in the open,” Echo explains. He lowers the tailgate and lifts me up onto the lowered door. I crawl back onto the soft pile and he follows me, countering my every move as he stalks me like a cat of prey. With his light mane, and broad shoulders, he reminds me of a lion. I spread my legs and he settles against me, kissing me with a depth of passion and sweetness that turns me into a melted puddle of goo. I wind my legs around his thighs and rock against the bulge in his unbuttoned jeans.
Our clothes are peeled back and discarded along with the layers that separate us. This is the man that the boy I once fell in love with has turned into. His hands are gentle, and the words he whispers into my ears are sweet. It heals some of the jagged areas of my heart left from the abandonment I’d once endured.
As he fills me, I know there will never be anyone in this world who compares to him. My emotional wall crumbles—I gasp, as I’m flooded with memories and feelings I’d been repressing. Tears escape my eyes and I allow myself to mourn what we lost and accept what we could be. I lift my hips, taking in more than his length as we move together. Here beneath the stars, we’re baring not only our bodies, but souls. The pressure builds. My body shakes and my muscles clamp down. “Love you,” I whisper.
“Love you, too, babe. Forever.”
His heated breath in my ear sends me screaming over the edge. I clutch him to my chest, struggling to hold onto this one perfect moment in the midst of chaos. Breathing heavily, I snuggle against his side as we drift back to Earth, staring up at the sky.
“That was amazing,” he murmurs, kissing my temple.
“Yes, it was.”
“It’s been too long since I got to spend unhurried time inside of you, babe. I hate playing this role.” It’s the most he’s spoken of his time with his family.
“Are they that bad?”
“Biting my tongue is painful. Especially, when those two new fucks join in. I don’t trust them. It’s more than the racist angle. There’s a hardcore factor for them. I never thought I’d say this about anyone, but what I see in their eyes puts my father to shame. With my dad, it’s misplaced anger for one action on an entire race. Scott and Brett believe it all the way down to their bone marrow. They’re always watching me, showing their disgust, disdain, and mistrust at every turn. I don’t like their boldness. They should know their place and be groveling right now.”
“You think they’re here for something else?” I ask.
“I do, but the only in I have on that info is going to be Charm.” He sighs, running his hand up and down my arm.
“Have you talked to him one-on-one?”
“No. Another thing I think they’re all doing on purpose—making sure I can’t get him alone. It makes me feel like Charm is a prisoner.”
“Well, maybe he is.”
He turns to peer at me. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe they know he’s not on board, and given a chance to escape the situation, he will.”
“You think?” Echo asks.
The hope in his voice makes my heart ache. “It’s possible. I don’t want you to get your hopes up, but if you could be completely different from Mouth, maybe he is, too.”
“Then why is he standing with him?” He props up on an elbow.
“Fear. Because he’s comfortable in his situation and feels like he has no one else.”
“I’m right here, though!” Echo exclaims.
“You made up your mind to step away from your father, whatever the risk, and he’s wronged you personally. Charm has never experienced that. He’s in a different place, relationship wise.”
Echo sighs. “So, what do I need to do?”
“Are you asking me the old lady, or me the psychologist?”
“Both.”
“Be there for him, don’t pressure or offer up ultimatums. Treat him the same way you did before. He needs to feel like he can trust you, or he’ll never open up. Try to get him alone in an organic way and let him lead the conversation.”
“So be a chump?” Echo asks with a roll of his eyes.
“No, be a big brother and a friend. Too many times, we try to force our will onto others and make them be who we want them to be, rather than taking them as is. You attract more bees with honey than vinegar.”
“It’s so easy to say when you’re not in it.”
“Don’t kill the messenger, babe. You asked for my personal opinion. Be grateful. I make it a rule not to diagnosis anyone, or for anyone I’m close to.”
“You’re right. I hate the mess my family has become. Tell me something…why do you think my father is the way he is?”
“Hard to say. It could be something that was transferred to him from his own family, situational, where he placed blame on them for something, or a form of self-hate reflected outward.”
“Wait, self-hate reflected. What do you mean?” he asks.
“Like people who have homosexual tendencies hating others who identify as homosexual, because they hate that part of themselves.”
“Are you suggesting that he might actually like black people? Black women?”
“Maybe, back then it was not something you did. It would’ve put him in direct conflict with his club, and the majority of society. Maybe he went to extremes to suppress his true inclinations. Now, I’m just making suggestions. People are complex and individual. Their stories are all different. Have you ever asked him?”
“No. He’s not exactly the type who likes to be questioned.”
“Shocker,” I say.
“Yeah, I know.” He rolls over and I squeal as I end up lying on his chest. “Enough about him. I’m not done with you yet.” He captures my lips and all talk of Mouth and KOC is chased from my brain.
***
Echo
The clubhouse is packed as everyone celebrates Shadow’s last days of freedom. I’m convinced the brother didn’t want the party. He’s unimpressed with the strippers shaking their ass for all they’re worth as they pace the edges of the stage and wind their bodies down the pole.
“Are you even enjoying this?” I ask.
Shadow shrugs. “I waited forever to get the woman I wanted. I could give a fuck about the ones up on the stage. A night at home with Blue would’ve been a million times better.”
“So, why aren’t you with her?” I ask.
“Traditions have to be upheld, brother, you know that,” he answers with a grin.
“Yeah, he needs to throw us single people a bone,” Skull says, a smile crossing his face.
“You single again? I can barely keep up with your status, you change that shit so much,” Shadow taunts.
“Oh, you got jokes?” Skull asks.
“I got opinions, which I keep to myself for the most part,” Shadow replies.
“What? You want to give me shit, too?” Skull’s look goes from carefree to dark.
There’s an undercurrent running between them I don’t understand.
“Who else has been talking, Blue?” Shadow asks.
“Fuck yeah, man. She came down on me hard.” Skull sighs.
Shadow laughs.
“Your girl can be vicious when she wants to be.”
“You don’t fuck with friends or family when it comes to her,” Shadow says.
“Yeah, I noticed,” Skull mutters.
“What the hell happened between you two now?”
“Dude, we just can’t get on the same wavelength. She wants things I’m not sure about, and I need more space than her, usual, dudes. It seems to be a breaking point every time we try to get something going.”
“You can’t be half in and half out. Not with a woman like that,” Shadow says.
“I know, brother. She drives me fucking crazy. I don’t know if I can do the commitment thing. Not one hundred percent with plans to be forever. That shit is too heavy for me right now. If she’d let shit ride and unfold organically, we’d both be good. But she always has to push for more.”
“Might be good for your slacker ass,” Shadow states with a raised brow.
Skull shoots him a glare. “Shit.”
“Seems like single men are a dying breed these days,” I say.
“God, don’t say that,” Skull grumbles.
Shadow and I laugh and toss back our shots. The tray comes around again, and we grab another round. No one is driving out tonight, so we’re running through amber liquids like its water.
“What’s up with you and Dixie Rose? Ain’t seen the two of you around together much,” Skull says.
“Keeping our shit contained and away from the drama right now.”
“I can feel that, considering,” Skull whispers, looking at my father who’s seated at the front of the stage with his new cronies and my brother.
“Hate those motherfuckers,” I mumble.
“The prospects?” Skull asks.
“Yeah, they rub me the wrong way.”
“Ain’t given them too much thought. I get kind of blind being in the bar so much. What did they do?”
“Nothing yet. Just a gut feeling,” I say.
“It’s your right to give them shit and test them,” Shadow suggests.
“Yeah, but I’m trying not to be too obvious.”
“Please, let me do what I do best, clown motherfuckers and test their patience,” Skull says.
I laugh as he stands and stalks over to the stage. “Damn, I forgot how quickly he could wild out,” I say.
“Yeah, you can always count on Skull to do things without hesitation.” Shadow snickers.
We watch as he barks at the prospects who jump to their feet, standing at attention like this is boot camp and he’s their commanding officer. They practically shrink as Skull unloads. I can’t blame them for that. If you don’t know him, he’s a scary ass dude. With broad shoulders, muscles on top of muscles, and his mohawk, he cuts an intimidating figure.
“Have you seen the bathroom? It’s fucking disgusting. Go clean that shit up, prospects.”
It’s comical watching the two all but trip over one another as they rush to do his bidding. The malicious looks given by Scott aren’t missed. It’s not the action of a man trying to prove himself.
Careful, your mask is slipping.
Skull makes his way back slowly, stopping to have words with the others who share their approval of his actions. They haven’t been hazed much since they started—Mouth’s seen to that—but it’s a rite of passage he can’t stop inevitably.
“You see who has his back?” Shadow asks.
“Most people, seems like,” I reply.
“Skull is likeable, but I think this is more of a drawing of lines and a show of support. Mouth has friends in the club who are willing to look the other way and let him ride out the last years he has left. But recently, he’s rubbed a lot of people the wrong way and they’re showing support.”
I watch my father and see he’s taking note of the people talking to Skull. I sense the winds of change creeping in. The club is about to go through a civil war. I scan the crowd until my eyes land on Stone. He’s smiling, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s very aware of the division going on. It makes me wonder if Mouth is running the very thing that earned his road name. Opinionated, cocky, and loud, he didn’t back down or mince words. It was going to be his downfall.
Charm stands. I pretend to watch the strippers as he makes his way toward the back to smoke. When my father stays put, I wait a few more minutes and then follow.
Losing myself in the crowd, I stop by the bar. “Can I get a beer, darling? Whatever’s on ice is fine,” I ask the scantily clad brunette hired for tonight.
“You got it, handsome.” She sets a Bud on the counter.
I scoop it up and disappear into the crowd. Coming out on the other end, I slip out the back door.
Charm is seated in one of the chairs. “What’s up, bro?” he asks.
“Just coming to see how you’re doing. We haven’t had any one-on-one in a long time.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s the life of a sponsor,” he says with a quiet chuckle that sounds forced.
I laugh. “I forgot you were moving up in the ranks now.”
“Fuck you, Echo,” Charm says, flipping me off.
“No thanks, I don’t do guys or incest.” It feels good to laugh with my baby brother. For a moment, things are normal. He lets down the wall he’s had up between us. I see the stress he’s carrying, and what I suspect is fear. He can feel the mounting tension as well as anyone else. “Inflated ego aside, you doing okay?” I ask.
He toys with the cigarette between his fingers. “I’m not sure what I am, man. You know that moment when you first understand your parents aren’t always in the right?”
“Yeah, I remember it well.”
“I used to think Dad was right. I never questioned why he believes the shit he does, not after the story he told about Grandpa, but now I’m not sure the end justifies the means.”
“What’s changing your mind?” I ask, careful to keep my voice interested, but not overly intense.
“I see you with Dixie Rose. You love her and she loves you. How can anything so wrong bring such happiness? And I see how others are starting to look at us. It makes me wonder if this is how she’s always felt. Damn, the thought of doing that to her for so long…” Charm trails off shaking his head. “It doesn’t sit well with me.”
“You can always change your mind, Charm. No one says you have to take this shit to the grave, brother. Growing up means making your own decisions about things.”
“Not so easy—”
“Wasn’t easy for me either. I just found something I wanted more than the old man’s respect and approval.”
“Dixie Rose?” Charm asks.
“Mmm-hmm.” I want to do the typical big brother thing, rush in and save him from whatever sticky situation he’s gotten into, but I can’t. There’s more than him at stake, and my loyalty is to the club and Dixie Rose first and foremost. Priorities shift, and consequences can be a bitch. It’s a tough lesson to learn. I need to make sure it’s not a deadly lesson for Charm.
“You always were braver than me, Echo.”
“No, I just stopped drinking the Kool-Aid a lot younger than you. I was sure once he knew how I felt about Dixie Rose, he would at least give her a chance to prove she was different, maybe even apologize. But just in case, we planned on telling him after we were married.”
Charm gasped. “You’re married?” he asked.
“Oh no, Dad made sure we never got that far. I was all set to leave and meet her down in Vegas. She’d gone before me. It was the weekend she left for college. We were going to tie the knot, and I’d deliver her to college. Dad found me, threatened her, my patch, and everything else under the sun. I took one look into his eyes and knew he was capable of everything he claimed, so I stood her up.
“That’s why you prospected for so long,” Charm whispered.
“Yeah, the bastard wouldn’t vote for me. After all he’d done. He made sure I stayed away from D’Rose for at least a year. The damage was done after that. I didn’t want to screw her up worse than I already had, so I let her go for the moment. She had my ink by then though, so I knew one day, we’d come back around. I spent my time building myself and my standing up in this club because I knew the stubborn bastard wouldn’t go down without a fight.”
“That’s fucked up, Joel.”
“Yeah, Shayne, it is. I never said anything, because I didn’t want to ruin Dad’s image for you. You were still so young, and there was no guaranteeing your journey would be the same with him. I didn’t want to sway you one way or another.”
“You’re a good brother, Joel,” Charm says quietly.
“I tried. No matter how old we get, you’re always going to be my baby brother, and I just want the best for you.”
Charm nods his head, a pensive look on his face. “I believe that.”
“You should, punk. I’m the one who fought your battles until you could fight your own,” I say, ruffling his hair.
He moves his head away from like he always did and I laugh. He’s still in there buried under bullshit. “You know I always got your back.”
He opens his mouth. The back door opens. His features harden and he gives me a nod, back on guard.
I hold back a curse. I’ll get him to crack. But will it be in time to save him?