CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Freeze
Why the hell didn’t I do this before now? All my concerns about not fitting in seem stupid now that I’m seated at the table with Warp, Shadow, Skull, and Stone.
“It’s damn good to see you here, brother,” Stone says.
“It’s good to be here.”
“That bitch had you holed up.”
I clutch my beer. “You ever disrespect her again, and we’re going to have a problem. I owe that woman everything. We weren’t in the house playing grab ass. She was whipping me back into shape. You have no idea all the things you have to relearn when you lose the use of your legs. I ain’t been the most pleasant person to deal with, and yet, she brushes it off and tells me to suck it up. She’s the reason I’m going to walk again. It won’t be on my own power. It’ll be with leg braces, but I don’t give a shit. When you insult her, you’re pissing on me.”
“Shit, man, I’m sorry.” Warp holds his hands up. “I didn’t realize.”
“Now you do.”
Stone places a hand on my shoulder and pinches. “Blanche is good people. I think we can all agree on that.”
“How you doing with … everything?” Shadow asks.
This was the moment I dreaded where my differences become apparent. “I’m as good as I can be. The doc is happy with my progress, and I have a walking encyclopedia of knowledge with me daily.”
“What kind of things does she have you doing?” Skull asks.
“Think of her as a fitness trainer. Weights, strength building, things like that.”
“Yeah, I can tell. You’re freaking swoll, dude.” Skull gestures toward my upper body.
I chuckle.
“Hey, Freeze.”
Glancing up, I see two King chasers in skimpy outfits. The long legs, fake racks, and heavily made up faces do nothing for me.
“Shanna, Emily, good to see you.”
“How about we welcome you back properly?”
I cringe. They wouldn’t find my urine bag very hot.
“I’m good, girls.”
They scowl and walk off.
“Really?” Warp says.
“I’m getting everything I need taken care of at home.” I shrug. “Now are we going to play dominos or what?”
“Oh, you’re eager to lose some money?” Warp asks.
“No, but I’m ready to take yours,” I say.
Warp chuckles. “Oh, big words. Put your money where your mouth is.”
We fall back into the easy rhythm. I’m on my second game when my alarm vibrates on my phone.
“I’ll be back, gotta hit the head.” I slip on my gloves, unlock the brakes, and pull away from the table. People wave and nod as I make my way to my old dorm. After unlocking the door, I hit the light and maneuver my way inside. It smells stale. I lock the door behind me and wheel to the bathroom, then undo my belt and get my boxers and jeans down. Taking care of the urine bag is second nature to me now, but I sure as hell don’t want my brothers knowing about it. I finish up, flush, and wash my hands. So far so good. I’m getting sick of telling B she’s right, but this was what I needed. I’ve been too dependent on her. Away from the situation, I can see reality for what it is.
The desire to see her flares up inside of me. I want to do something special for her. How do you thank the person you owe your life to? Because I’m sure without B, I would’ve given up. It’s time to make things official. Returning to the table, I finish my final game.
“Hey, Warp, can I get a ride home?”
“Sure, brother. You don’t want to stay the night?”
“Naw, I got something waiting for me,” I say with a grin.
“Ha! Be careful, that look landed me with twins,” Skull mumbles.
“Be all right with that. Don’t know about B, since she just sent her oldest to college.” The truth of the words slam into me like a sledgehammer. I want a family with her. I lost a lot, but my vision for the future is clear.
“Starting over after you just reach the ‘out of the house’ age would be hard,” Stone comments.
“I don’t know, man. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. I think she’d be all right with it,” Shadow says.
Warp scowls. “He’s got that new parent fever. Thinks everyone else should have them, too.”
“Kids are cool, Warp. You’re not too old to have a few yet,” Shadow jokes.
“Fuck you, don’t you put that curse on me.” Warp flips him off, and I laugh. “Let me get you home, the talk at the table is making me antsy.”
I follow him out to the parking lot, and he pauses.
“I can see your Old Lady’s done right by you. I apologize for insulting her.”
“I appreciate it, brother.”
“Well, she’s family, right?”
“Yeah, the best kind, man. The forever kind.” I get myself into the car and break down the chair.
“You’re pretty good at that, brother.”
“All thanks to B. I hated her guts there for a minute. I really did. It hurt. I wanted to quit and drown in the depression that hit. But she wouldn’t let me.” It’s easier to be open with Warp.
“Damn, dude.” He returns the wheelchair to the trunk.
As he slips into the car, I continue to talk.
“The thought of not riding broke me. She showed me there was more to me than my bike, and then you guys offered me the Treasurer position.”
“When you thinking about taking it? Soon?”
“Yeah, I think so. I think it’s time I took the rest of my life back and returned B’s to her.” In order for this to work long term, we need more separation. I can give that to her now. I feel more like me than I have since the accident. Like past and present are merging and I can see the road ahead of me.
We pull up in front of the house.
“Just pull the chair from the back for me, and I got it from here. I ain’t your date. You don’t have to walk me to the front door.”
“Good to have you back, Freeze.”
“Good to be back.” He sets my chair down, and I quickly assemble, exit, and remove the transfer cloth.
“Thanks for the ride, brother. I’ll see you soon.” I quickly wheel up to the front door and unlock it. Even the lock is just the right height for me. Damn, my woman put so much into making this house a home. I wheel inside, lock the door, and engage the alarm.
“J?”
Blanch walks into view, clutching the rose-covered robe around her. I lick my lips.
“Yeah, B. It’s just me. So you can drop those hands and let me see what’s mine.”
Her mouth forms an o. Her eyes darken, and her chest heaves. Dropping her hands, she reveals a long sliver of brown skin.
“I’ve been neglecting you, not giving it to you like you’re used to. That stops now. Get your ass on that table,” I whisper.
She shudders and walks over to the kitchen where she splays her beautiful frame.
I wheel down to her and set the brake. “You’re a goddess among women. I can’t thank you with words for all you’ve done for me. I’m done thinking about the past and wondering what if. I got everything I want right here.” I slide my hand up her body and marvel at the smooth skin. “So damn beautiful, and all mine. I’m ready for you to take my mark. I don’t need a year to know you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.” I part her legs, kiss her ankle, and work my way up. I linger on her thick thighs.
“Oh, Jagger.”
“That’s right. Daddy’s back, baby, and he’s going to make up for lost time.”
I nibble and lick her sensitive flesh as I inhale her arousal. I pull myself up with my arms, and cage her in, placing an arm on either side of her. She spreads her legs wider to fit my shoulders, and I lick a path up her wet slit as I nudge her clit with my nose. She tugs on my braid. The jolt of pain makes me moan as I latch onto her bundle of nerves and drink her nectar. When I plunge my tongue inside of her, she contracts. I groan. She rides my face, and I fuck her the way I can no longer feel with other parts of me, and it’s enough. To feel our connection as she finds her pleasure and splinters around me is a gift.
“You’re a goddess among women, and I need you to wear my mark, and my ring, Blanche. It’s past time. I want you to help me find another Physical Therapist so you can go back to work. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, baby. But it’s time for you to live your life.”
“J.”
“I’m ready. Are you?”
She wraps her arms around my necks and nods. “I am.”
“Set a date.”
“For which?”
“Both.”
“This weekend for the tattoo, and six months for the wedding.”
My lips twitch. “Our year deadline?”
“I’m a woman of my word.”
I allow myself a moment to rest my head on her chest. “B, I want to have babies with you. I know the chances are lowered, but if we can—”
“Yes.”
I pull back and grin. “Yeah?”
“Oh, fuck yeah. I want a family with you, too.”
“Yeah?” I’m shocked by her response.
“I’ve been dying to ask you, but there was so much going on.” She shakes her head. “My window is closing.”
“Then I guess you should get to the doctor, and take that Mirena out so we can get started.”
“We have time to try for two.”
“Better start thinking up names,” I growl. “How about a practice run?” I ask as I slowly move off the table and back into the chair.
She slips from the table, a regal queen as she glides toward me with the robe billowing out behind her, and her tight body on display. I’m not the only one who’s tightened up thanks to our workout routine.
“Let me undress my man.” She carefully removes my cut and lays it on a chair. The rest is a blur of cool fingers, heated lips, and skin as she strips me downs and I explore her lush body. She sucks on my nipples and runs her nails over my flesh, building me up. I groan as the pressure builds.
“Oh, someone likes this,” she whispers.
I peer down to see her pumping my cock, and I moan. It’s still just as hot as it was. She bites my hard peak, and I jerk. When she eases down on me, the sight of her body taking mine makes me groan. She finds a rhythm as she continues to tease me. I push two fingers into her mouth, and she winds her clever tongue around them. I release a shaky breath. She bobs her head, and I know I’ll be a goner soon. The way she’s bouncing up and down on my lap tells me she’s not far behind. I watch her as she quakes, and I follow behind her into blissful nothingness.
***
I massage B’s neck where a snowflake with my name, Freeze, is woven into the design, hidden under her hair. We’re waiting along with the rest of the courtroom for the verdict.
Hearing the defense attempt to paint Elizabeth Watkins as a victim made my skin crawl. The wench knew exactly what she was doing, and why. Unfortunately, she also knew how to put on a big show; the crying, carrying on, and making herself look wide-eyed and innocent.
The reporters had a field day on the way inside the courthouse, and they were waiting like vultures outside to pick clean anyone who came by. I wanted to spare B that. She’s drawn into herself, and I hate it. My stomach flips and my body begins to heat up.
“Have you reached a verdict?” the judge asks.
The dark-haired man with a beard stands. “We have, your honor. We, the jury, find Elizabeth Watkins guilty of two counts of attempted murder in the first degree.”
The rest of the world is static is the courtroom erupts into cheers, screams, and crying. She’s lucky the cops got to her first. What I had planned would’ve been far worse. I squeeze B’s neck.
She turns to me with water eyes.
“Hey, we won.”
“No. She should have worse.”
“Honey, that pretty little blonde headed into a maximum is going to suffer plenty, believe me. You ready to get out of here?”
“Yes, I have a surprise for you.”
I scan her frame. “Where?”
She pushes me playfully. “Stop.”
“Is this related to the wedding?” I ask, thinking of the nuptials that will take place in a week on the beach.
“In a way. I just hope I know you as well as I think I do.” We wait for the courtroom to clear and head outside where the brothers have formed a human shield. Prospects, you got to love them. We make our way to the car and climb inside. When we reach the house, I frown.
“Why’s the light on?”
“’Cause there’s someone inside.”
I perk up. Maybe our girl has arrived early for the wedding. We talk to Whitney weekly, but we haven’t seen her in months. I miss her bright smile and the way Bolton follows her everywhere. Their friendship is amusing to watch progress. She helped him a lot when it came time to apply to colleges. It’s hard to believe he’s a college student now. It seems like just yesterday the kid was twelve.
I park the car and remove my wheelchair from the back after she leaves the car and waits for me. The newest addition to the family was a fully loaded car with hand controls. I was nervous until I got the hang of it. It was different for the first couple of weeks, but now I’m used to it. I wheel around, and we walk up to the house together. She unlocks the door, and I move inside, expecting to see Whitney.
The tall, gray-haired woman with the same hazel-colored eyes and nose as mine steals my breath.
“Karen?”
She nods. “Blanche thought you might like to have me here for the wedding.”
I nod my head. “She was right. My goddess, you are too good to me,” I whisper, squeezing her hip. I’d resumed letters with Karen over the months, after I took up the job as Treasurer and things settled down. I like the woman she’s becoming after prison. Not being able to see her was one of my biggest regrets.
“I’m going to get dinner started and give you guys a chance to talk.”
She walks toward me in a pair of khaki shorts and a nice white T-shirt. She looks like any nice suburban mom. But she’s mine.
“Hello, Jagger.”
I wheel over and take her hand. “Thank you for coming all this way.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” I whisper honestly. Between the counseling I’ve resumed, and our letters, the anger is gone, leaving us with a possible place to build from.
“You look really good.”
“Thank you, so do you.”
“Being sober will do that for you.”
“I’m proud of you, Mom,” I force the words out.
She blinks back tears. “Thank you. I’m so happy to see you like this … happy and healthy, with someone who loves you as much as you love her. It’s all my prayers answered.”
“You prayed for me?”
“Every night. Still do.”
It feels good, closing the door on the worst chapter of my life before I move into my best.
“Karen, do you think we could start over from here?”
“I would really like that.”
“My Old Lady is an excellent cook, why don’t we see what she has planned for dinner tonight?”
As we return to the kitchen, I can’t help but think I love the way my life is shaping up.
***
“Whitney.” I put the brake on my chair as she bends down and hugs me tight.
“It’s so good to see you, J,” she whispers.
B walks in behind her with a huge grin. “I’m going to take your mom shopping and let Whit settle in.” She winks, and I smile. She supports what I’m about to do one-hundred percent. I’m putting my head on the chopping block, but it feels right, so I’m going ahead with it full steam.
“Come outside with me?”
“Yeah, let me put my bags in my room, and I’ll meet you out there.”
I nod as she heads toward the room we’d allowed her to decorate however she wanted. We’d had her in mind when we first decided to house hunt. We wanted a place where she could have her own space, privacy. It was important to both of us that she felt at home. I was marrying her mother, but in a way, I was auditioning for a future father figure. They were a package deal, and I worked hard to build my relationship up with Whit. We have our own weekly conversation, Skype sessions, and things we like to do together when she’s home.
Outside, I run over the words in my head. I’ve looked death in the face, so many times it no longer phases me, and yet I’m terrified of the response of this nineteen-year-old girl. She emerges with a smile, and I take in the changes that have occurred since she’s been away. Her hair is cut in a short bob that frames her face, making her appear older and more mature. The sadness that clung to her like a second skin has lifted.
Her hazel eyes sparkle with mischief and joy. It’s a beautiful sight. She’s home for summer break this time, and I welcome having her.
“I’m glad you’re home.”
“It’s good to be home and off school for a while. I can’t believe that first year I stayed on for the summer session. I must’ve been insane.”
I chuckle. “No, just in need of a break from California I think.”
“Yeah.” She sits down at the patio table across from me. “I think you’re right.”
She tilts her head back and closes her eyes, soaking up the sun like a cat.
“I’m sure you picked up that I wanted to talk to you alone.”
“I do. Are you going to ask me how I feel about you marrying my mother? Because honestly, I can’t even imagine you two not together at this point. I mean, you’re both disgusting together. You can’t keep your eyes, hands, or focus off one another.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” I say.
She laughs. “It’s not. It’s actually really cute. It makes me happy to see my mom like this. So happy and full of life.”
The thought of her as anything else pisses me off. I brush the anger aside. “So I’m getting the big thumbs up?”
“Yes. Which you knew you had already.”
She arches her brow in a move so much like her mother I can’t help but laugh.
“A guy likes to hear these things out loud.”
“Right,” she says drawing out the i.
“I’m marrying your mother tomorrow, but you know how I feel about family. The two of you are a package deal, and I’ll be honest, I been thinking of you as my kid for a while now.”
She blinks. “You have?”
I nod my head. “And I’m not sure where you stand on that.”
“Are you asking me if I see you as a dad?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m asking if you could ever see me that way. If it’s a goal we could work toward, or something you’re just not interested in.”
She goes silent.
“It’s not a trick question. There’s no right or wrong answer, only an honest one. I’m not going to get upset about what you say.”
“In all honesty, I could. You have a very … masculine vibe. You’re already the male figure in my life. I mean, I have Pa, but he’s not up on modern problems like you are. He’s super old-fashioned, and I’m more of a liberal kind of gal.”
“To say the least,” I mutter, thinking of the last time I’d spoken to her and she’d been high off a joint. Experimenting in college was normal. As long as she doesn’t go any harder than grass, I’m okay with it.
“Did Mom put you up to this?”
“No. Tomorrow your mom will be taking my last name, and I want you to have it, too. I’d like to adopt you, Whitney.”
Her jaw drops. “You? You want to adopt me?”
I nod my head. “I want us to be a family. Your mother will have my last name, our children will have my last name, and I don’t want you to be left out.”
“You’re having a baby!” she squeals.
I laugh. “Not yet. Marriage first, baby second.”
She nods her head and all but bounces in her seat.
“Is that something you want?”
She jumps out of her chair, and launches herself into my arms, holding me tight as her shoulders shake.
“Whoa. Hey. You don’t have to say yes.”
“I want to,” she sobs.
“Then why are you crying?” I ask softly. I’ve learned from her mother that tears can mean a lot of things.
“I used to think I would never have this again. That I’d be some sort of orphan. I have a father, but how could I claim him? I saw this lonely stretch of life with no one to walk me down to aisle or dote on my children. And then you showed up and took more of an interest than my father had in years. You know what my grades are, which classes I like, and which I hate. You check in on me, and it’s … it’s everything I’ve always wanted.”
I smooth my hand over her hair and kiss her temple. The girl makes me feel like I’m on top of my world. “I’m always going to be there for you, Whitney. I’m new at this dad thing, though, so we’ll have to learn together.” I pull my head back and meet her watery gaze. “Do you think we can do that?”
“Yeah. I’d like that a lot.” She moves back to her chair, swiping away her tears.
“We looked into the process, and we have all the paperwork. We just need to sign it in front of a notary.”
“You want to do it this soon?”
I nod. “When your mom and I marry, I want it to complete our family. This is my groom’s gift to your mom.”
“All right, then we’ll do it.”
“Yeah?” I ask with a grin.
“Yeah. Pop.” She pops her P. “Whitney Ryan. I like the sound of that.”
“I do, too, kid.”
“Back to this siblings thing. How many are you planning on having? Are we about to turn into the Brady Bunch?”
I snicker. “Definitely not. We’re aiming for two.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to think. I’ve been an only child for so long. I just got used to the ideal.”
I stiffen. “Are you upset?” I tense. I know our news is going to be met with less enthusiasm because of my injury.
“No. I think it’s a good thing. My mom was amazing growing up. I had so much fun with her, and I know she always wanted more. I’m glad she’s getting a second shot at this with you. I think you’ll be awesome parents.”
“Thanks, kid,” I say, struggling not to grin like a mad man. Her approval means a lot. It’s something B and I were both concerned about. It’s a huge jump to just to go from an only child for nineteen years to a future half-sister. You add the request to adopt, and it’s a whole lot going on at once. She took it all in stride, like the rock star she is. This kid is a fighter … No, my kid. My kid. I’m like the Grinch with a heart growing two sizes. These women are changing me into the kind of man I could never imagine being. It’s a good thing.
“I think we should celebrate such a momentous occasion,” she says.
“Uh huh,” I smirk. Kid knows how to get what she wants. “Any ideas on how we should do that exactly?”
“Tattoos?”
“You trying to get me killed, kid?” I ask, thinking of her mother’s reaction.
“What? Mom has one,” she whines.
I laugh. “That’s different. And I had to wear her out about that, believe me.”
“So I get to be the uncool family member?”
I think of giving her a cut similar to her mother’s to let everyone know she’s my kid when we’re at family functions.
“What would you want, kid?”
“I want my own snowflake.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“You work on the design, and I’ll work on your mom.”
“Best dad ever,” she sings.
I shake my head. “I’m not always going to fall for your crap, you know?”
“I know, Pop. But it’s my job as your future kid to test boundaries.” She winks.
I shake my head. Life keeps getting more interesting.
***
I feel like I’m on top of the world. The wedding papers and the adoption papers have been signed. While the wedding isn’t for a couple more days, we’re officially a family.
“You know most families would just go out to dinner,” B says as we sit around the chair where Scribble is preparing to tattoo the front of Whitney’s shoulder with a dainty looking tattoo with an F in the center.
“Like y’all were ever going to be like most families,” Jess drawls.
“You are not helping,” B replies.
Jess grins. “Oh, come on! The tattoo is cute, and the concept is a-damn-dorable. As her Godmother and your best friend, I got to say, I approve.”
“Three against one, B,” I say with a shrug.
“I didn’t know you had a kid, Freeze,” Scribble says as the gun starts to buzz.
“Well, now you know.”
“Guess so. You’ve always been a real private kind of guy. Okay, I’m going to do a small line, Whitney.” He carefully draws the needle down her body. “How does that feel?” Scribble asks.
“Much better than thought it would,” she replies with a wide grin.
“I think you created a monster, Pop,” Blanche states dryly as she elbows me in the ribs.
“What? She takes after her old man. Ain’t nothing wrong with that,” I say with a grin.
“Yeah, Mom, I’m a total daddy’s girl,” Whitney teases.
B huffs, but she can’t hide the smile pasted across her lips. We’re unconventional, but happy, and that’s all that matters to us.
The tattoo only takes an hour. Whitney sits really well. I’m proud of the way she managed her pain, and the fact she wanted that level of closeness with me. I’m not sure what I’ll get for my girls, but there needs to be something. I’m still mind blown over the way things have played out. I have a mother who opted to stay at home and let us young people go have fun, a daughter, and a wife. Over the past few days, I’ve spent enough time with Karen to know a friendship isn’t what either of us wants.
It’ll be hard forging new bonds, but I think we’re both up for the challenge. It’s the perfect frame of mind to be in before we unite in front of our families.