CHAPTER NINE
Blanche
Crawling back to someone on your hands and knees is never a fun experience. I smooth the invisible wrinkles out of my crisp black pants and toy with the button on the sleeve of my pink blazer. I kept things business casual, but we’re both aware of what this lunch is really about. I haven’t talked to Lisa much since I retired. Calling her out of the blue isn’t normal or taken as a social request by either of us. Spotting the tall blonde with bright blue eyes coming inside Pat and Oscar’s, I wave. She grins widely, and I admire her. The years have been kind. Her frame is lithe, in her blue jeans and white tank top, and her heart-shaped face looks ten years younger than the forties we’ve just entered.
I stand, and she hugs me tightly.
“I was so happy when you called. I wanted to reach out to you for months, but I wasn’t sure how well I’d be received. We aren’t as close as we used to be, and people can be rubberneckers in the face of tragedy.”
“I’d never think that about you, Lisa. You’ve always had a huge heart.” We part and take a seat.
“So, how are you?”
“I’m good, and getting better every day.”
“How’s Whitney?”
“She’s fabulous actually. She started college in Virginia. She loves the change of pace, her roomie, and her core classes.”
“That’s excellent, but hard. Emmy started college last year, and I’d like to have died. Never mind that’s she’s just in Santa Barbara. The distance can’t be easy.”
“Yes and no. I’m glad she’s away from the craziness that descended and in a new environment that’ll allow her a fresh start. Of course, I miss her horribly.”
Lisa reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “Parenting doesn’t get easier. It just gets different.”
“Amen to that.”
“Are you ready to order?” she asks.
“Yes. I’m starving.”
We stand and make our way into line to order and grab our drinks. Fast, delicious, and affordable, Pat and Oscar’s was always one of our favorite lunch spots when we worked together. Fifteen minutes later, we’re seated with our food.
“Catch me up on what’s going on in your life.”
“The rehabilitation center is doing really well. We’ve moved since you saw it last. I can’t wait to have you by to see it. It’s larger, and we’ve got a great crew working. You know how important that is.”
“Yes, I do.” I nod. The staff can make or a break a place.
“How’s Bill?” I ask, thinking of her husband.
“Really well. His investment business is coasting along, and with the kids gone, we actually take weekends away. Huge for two workaholics.”
“It is, but God, you guys deserve it. You worked so hard getting your businesses off the ground.”
“I know there were years there it was tight, you remember.”
“I do, but just like I told you then it was worth it and it worked out.”
She sighs. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“Me too. I’m sorry we lost touch.” I shake my head.
“We’ve always been able to pick up where we left off. There’s no reason why we can’t do it again.”
I smile. “You’re right.”
“I know you sold the house. Where are you now?”
“I’m at an apartment downtown. I didn’t want to try to get a house or even a condo when I had no clue what I wanted to do long term.”
“I don’t blame you. Buying and selling property here is a nightmare,” Lisa says.
“Girl. Yes, it is.”
“What are you up to now with Whit gone?”
“That’s part of why I asked you to lunch. I want to get back into the field.”
Her eyes light. “God, I was hoping you’d be open to that. I need someone I can trust to take over for a therapist that I have leaving to do outpatient freelance work.”
“Do you really?” I whisper.
She nods. “It’s only part time, so if you need money—”
“Oh, honey, no. I just … I want to return to my passion. All my credentials are up to date. I’ve been brushing up on all the rules. I just need a chance.”
“You’ve got one.”
“Are you serious, Lisa?”
“Would I kid about this?”
“No.” I laugh as I struggle to contain my tears.
“I’ll want you to shadow her and do some on-the-job training, and a trial period. I won’t show you any favoritism because we’re old friends.”
“And I wouldn’t expect you to, Lisa. I appreciate you giving me the chance to prove myself.”
“I didn’t think so, but I wanted to put it out there. I think you’d fit in so well at the Spinal Cord Injury Center.”
“You know I work well with all types of personalities.”
“I do. Can you start in a week?”
“Yes.”
My heart is full. My daughter is happy and thriving, I have a man I love who treats me better than I can remember being treated, and now I’m returning to the career field I love. Things are slowly starting to look up. I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted for a long time. That’s over now.
“You just made my year.”
“Well, you saved me a lot of scrambling to find a replacement. I think fate stepped in on this one.”
“I think so,” I reply with a smile. It’s about time life dealt me a better hand.
***
I bring the phone to my ear as I reenter my apartment.
“Hey, honey, how are you?”
“I’m good, Mama. Just calling to check in.”
“Well, you have perfect timing. Guess who goes back to work next week.”
She screams, and I hold the phone away from my ear and laugh.
“I’m the one who’s supposed to be excited,” I say as I close the door behind me and lock it.
“Mom, this great! Ahhh. I knew you could do it. Where are you working? What will you be doing?”
“I’ll be working at Lisa’s physical therapy center, replacing a therapist who’s leaving to work freelance. It’s only part time, but that’s perfect for me re-starting. They specialize in spinal cord injuries, so I’ll be focusing on brushing up in that area. I’m looking forward to the challenge.”
“Mom, you are going to kick ass.”
“I’m going to do my best.”
“You have to celebrate.”
“I will.”
“No, I’m serious. Get pretty and have Jagger take you out somewhere.”
I smile at her mention of my boyfriend. “If that’s your way of asking how thing are going between us, they’re great. He’s pretty amazing.”
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“You’re sweet. How’s school?”
“So far, so good, but ask me once we have our first round of finals.”
I laugh. “You’ve always been great at test taking.”
“I know, but this is not high school. Things are even more fast-paced, and there’s a lot to juggle. I didn’t realize how much I took for granted like your meals, a washer and dryer in my home, and a mom who didn’t mind helping me out when I got swamped.”
I smile as I listen to her share growing pains. “It is a big adjustment. Give yourself a little more time, and it’ll seem like second nature. Other than that, are you all right?”
“I am. I think this was the right place for me.”
We continue to catch up as I start dinner for me and Jagger. He’s over my place more than not, and he calls me if he won’t be coming home. Home. Funny how he’s become included in that thought. The intensity between us has increased since the night of our first fight. I did some research on relationships with people who grew up in foster care. They often deal with their experiences in one of two ways. One, they keep others at a distance, or two, they almost smoother them with their need to be around them, be the focus of their attention, etc. It’s an issue that leads to problems later in life. Everyone is different, but this was a recurring theme. I’d say Jagger hovers in the middle.
I know it’s his habit to hold people at bay, but it’s never been the way he acted with me. I worry that one day he’ll revert to his old behaviors. But I refuse to borrow trouble. We’ll continue to take things as they come.
“I should go, Mom. I have a group project meeting soon.”
“Okay, baby. It was good talking to you. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will. I love you, Mom.”
“Love you, too.”
When the phone rings a few minutes later, I laugh. She must’ve forgotten to tell me something. The number flashing on the screen sucks the joy out of me. It’s Detective Russel. I want to ignore him, but I don’t make a habit of being stupid.
“Hello?”
“Mrs. Birling?”
“Yes.”
“I wanted to let you know that lead we had ended up being a false alarm. We chased it down until it deadened.”
“So, h-he’s not in town?”
“Not to the best of our knowledge.”
“O-okay. Thank you, Detective Russel.”
The words loosen the worry about Brooks popping up. The man isn’t coming back here. He has no reason to. The risks of getting caught must outweigh his chance at a second shot at me, if that’s even what he’d want. I can’t live my life in fear of what may happen. I have too many good things to focus on now.
I finish prepping the lasagna and pop it into the oven as I move to the bedroom to change into casual clothing. Pausing in the bedroom, I marvel at how ours it’s become. His cologne, comb, and ponytail holders join my perfume and bobby pins on the dresser. The bed set is now a gray and white plaid set we both agreed on. My closet and drawers are crammed with his things added to my own, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I change into blue jean shorts and a tank top, and head back to open a beer.
I have a salad chopped, garlic bread in the oven, and two beers down when the door opens.
“You’re looking at the newest member of The Kings of Chaos San Mateo Charter, baby. It’s official. This is home.”
The words slam into me, and I scream as I run toward him. He lifts me off the ground, and I wind my limbs tight as if I could anchor us both to this moment in time. Covering his mouth with mine, I share my joy with tongue and lips. He holds me under my ass and slants his mouth over mine, deepening our kiss. He’s all I can taste and breathe as we celebrate. We part for air, and I laugh.
“Welcome home.”
He kicks the door shut, and spins me to lock it with one hand while continuing to support me. I trail my fingers down his biceps, admiring the flex of muscles.
“We got a party to go to tonight to celebrate.”
“Wait, tonight?”
“It’s tradition.”
“Okay.” My stomach flips. I’ve been to smaller events—baby showers, family days, and the like—but I’ve never seen the club in all its glory. “Guess who starts her new job in a week.”
He lets out a whoop and spins us around until he plops down on the couch with me in his lap. “Congratulations, B. I knew you could do it,” he whispers softly.
“Thank you, J,” I whisper as I cup his face. I love that I’m the only one who gets to see this fierce warrior so laid back and open.
His lips quirk upward. “Only you could get away with that.”
“I know. Why do you think I gave you the nickname? I like being special to you.”
He clears his throat. “Speaking of that … I want to ask you something important.”
He grips my hips, and I straddle him, adjusting to get more comfortable.
“Oh?”
“Will you be my Old Lady?”
“D-didn’t you tell me that was like marriage to you?”
“I did.”
“Jagger.”
He covers my lips with his finger. “I’m not letting you get away. I can’t.” He shakes his head and looks over my shoulder. “You … I …” He growls in frustration, unable to articulate himself.
I toy with his goatee. “Take your time, J. I’m here.”
“I want the world to know you’re mine. I want you to wear my mark. This, what we’re doing, isn’t enough for me. I need more, and you deserve more.”
“I want that with you, some day, but I—” I take a deep breath as my brain starts to race. My body heats and my heart begins to race. “It’s so soon.”
“It’s right, B. We can both feel that.”
“I’m not saying no. Just that I need more time. I’m sorry. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but after everything I went through, I can’t. Not yet.”
His shoulders slump. “You’re worth waiting for, Blanche, but sooner rather than later, I’m going to get a yes about this.”
“Maybe, but not tonight.”
“We’re still celebrating tonight. Pack a bag for the bike.”
Just like that, the cloud lifts, and, we’re back to being happy. I’m not used to a man who doesn’t hold my disappointments over my head. In many ways, this relationship is showing me how much my marriage lacked. It hadn’t always been that way. We had a good run. Then the past five years happened. I place the memories in a box and slam it shut. He won’t intrude on my night.
“Okay.” I scramble off his lap and commence to scour the closet for the right outfit. “Take the garlic bread out when the timer beeps please,” I call.
He never fails to amaze me with his willingness to pitch in and help wherever I need it. He’d be a good father. The thought zipped in from left field and caught me off guard. Whoa. I shake my head to clear it and return to packing. Tonight, things get real.
***
My stomach clenches as we pull into the parking lot and he shuts off the engine. I hop off and try not to let my nervousness show. I ended up wearing a pair of skinny black jeans I paired with a black lace and mesh bodysuit that shows pops of skin without revealing too much. I wore my boots for the ride, but the killer pair of stilettos in his saddle bag should elevate the outfit to the next level. I don’t want to be overdressed, but I need to represent my man well tonight. He’s going to be in the spotlight, and I want to shine beside him. The desire to make him proud of me is as fierce as a fire-breathing dragon.
We come from different worlds. He’s gone above and beyond, pushing boundaries, and stretching himself to fit with me. Tonight, I return the favor.
He removes his saddle bags, slings them over his shoulders, and we head for the club. I’m used to the detachment he tends to display when we’re with the club. He’s more reserved and dominant. In some ways, it’s a turn on. My man may be patient, but I know he likes to be in control. After all the work we’ve put in, I don’t mind following his lead. It’s a relief to let go, and exist.
I stay a few steps behind, allowing him to lead the way through the crowd as I take it all in. Rock blares from speakers, and the smell of smoke permeates the air inside. Scantily clad women hang off tough men. I smile and wave at the familiar faces of the women I’ve met. It takes away some of the apprehension built up in my chest. The club is his life. If I’m not accepted, it’s a death sentence and a start down the road of resentment.
“It’s the man we’ve been waiting for!” Stone yells. He sweeps Freeze toward him and clamps his back. “You ready to get your patches?”
“Hell yeah, Prez.”
“Drop your shit off, and come and become one of us, brother.” Stone nods to me.
I smile and return the gesture. The large, older man intimidates me. He has a shrewdness about him. When he settles his gaze upon you, you can feel him sizing you up. It’s a good quality for a leader to have. It doesn’t make it any less unsettling. The sea of broad-shouldered men surround us, making my five-foot-eight inches feel really short. I move closer to Jagger, silently seeking comfort. Freeze. He’s Freeze tonight.
He unlocks his door, and we step inside where I quickly unpack my things and switch over my shoes.
“You doing okay, B?”
“I’m good. Tonight is your night. You don’t get to worry about me.”
“I will always worry about you. It’s my job.”
Cupping his face, I smile. And that is why I fell for you, despite my misgivings about men.
“I’m ready when you are,” I say after I buckle my ankle strap.
“Then let me show you how Chaos parties.”
He twines our fingers as we head back into the throng of people. Whistles and heckling fill the air as we return to Stone. He shrugs off his cut and hands it to me to hold.
“Today we accept our brother, Freeze, into our chapter. We’ve been after your crazy ass for years now. Glad you finally decided to settle off the road with us.” Stone hands over his patches. They exchange a manly hug. “You ready to add your new patches, brother?”
Freeze nods. “Time to go to church.”
I hand him his cut as the men head into the meeting room known as the chapel. Forlorn, I search the faces for someone I know. Dixie Rose waves at me, and I make a beeline for her.
“Hey, girl,” she says, giving me a hug.
“Hey. How’s your new job?”
“I love it. I didn’t realize how much I missed working with children until the first day back in a school. Doing work with teens is so rewarding. You can see the people they’re going to be starting to emerge and take shape.”
“You really enjoy what you do, don’t you?”
She nods. “I know what it’s like to be young, lost, and looking for encouragement. I see myself in these young kids.”
“That’s awesome. Kids need people like you who actually give a damn.”
“I think the same. How’s the job hunt going?”
“I found one today. I start in a week at a physical therapy center that focuses on spinal cord injuries.”
“Sounds intense.”
“It will be, but I’m starting off part time, so it’s perfect.”
“I don’t know how you keep the medical jargon straight. I mean, I have to for the brain, but bones and muscles? Anatomy about did me in at school.”
I laugh.
“Oh, she came,” Dixie Rose whispers.
I follow her gaze to find Tinley approaching in a short leather skirt and a black spaghetti tank top that shows off her small waist, and large breasts.
We wave at her.
“You’re looking hot tonight, Mama,” Dixie Rose teases.
“Is this okay?” Tinley asks, nervously biting her lip.
“Yeah, babe. There’s no dress code here,” Dixie Rose assures her.
“You look amazing,” I say.
“Thanks, so do you.”
“I’m glad you came out. Moms need a break, too.”
“Yeah, it’s still so hard to leave him, you know? The move was a big deal, and he’s just now starting to settle in.”
“It’s hard to raise a child when you don’t have a lot of family around,” I say.
“Did you go through this?”
“Oh yeah. My family is all Tennessee-based, and my ex-asshole’s parents aren’t the cuddly type. They were a lot better when Whitney was older, but I was constantly undoing the things they were saying and teaching her.” I shake my head.
“They sound like a nightmare.”
“Oh, they are to this day,” I reply with a laugh.
“Ugh, in-laws. On that note, I think we need a drink,” Dixie says as she leads us over to the bar.
We order a round of tequila shots and chase them with beers. I’m warm, tingly, and relaxed as we chat. The men return, and I can’t help but beam at Freeze in his new patches. He’s actually smiling as he walks out, and I know today he’s feeling the love from his makeshift family.
“Now we celebrate,” Stone exclaims.
The music kicks up louder. Brothers flood the bar and the dance floor. King Chasers stalk their prey. It’s fascinating and bizarre, like some special on cable television, only its real and I’m a part of it. Freeze strides over and buries his fingers in my curls, and eats at my mouth until my knees are weak and I’m clutching his cut. My lungs scream for air, and my lips are bruised when he finally pulls back. His large hand on my ass anchors my body to his. I stare at him, dazed and aroused. He bends and nips at my earlobe.
“Had to make my claim known,” he whispers.
“I guess making me wet and boneless was a bonus then?”
He nods his head, and I giggle. He makes me feel young again.
“Time to wet your whistle, darling. You’re far too sober,” he says.
“Isn’t this your night?”
“You naked and tipsy in my bed will make my night.”
“Are you trying to intoxicate me?”
“Ain’t no trying about it.” He steps to the bar. “Beer for me and a shot of tequila for the lady.”
“Wicked man.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He salts his own hand. I lick the crystals off, and he feeds me a lemon wedge. “Bottoms up.” He feeds me the shot, and I moan as it goes down smooth. His eyes burn with desire, and my panties get damp.
“I’m going to fuck you tonight, B.”
My eyes widen, and he grins as he takes a long draw off his bottle. My nipples strain against my top. I always got the sense he’s been holding back. Tonight he won’t. How the hell am I supposed to focus on anything, but how he’s going to feel pounding into my pussy?
“You thinking ’bout what I said?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I want you ready.”
I whimper.
He chuckles and slaps my ass. “Come on, let’s go play darts.”
“Darts?” I ask hoarsely.
“Mmhmm.”
“I thought you asked to play darts, not tease me to death,” I whisper as he presses against me front to back.
“I’m helping you aim. You don’t want my help?” he asks with a fake innocence I’d find laughable if I wasn’t so damned turned on.
“You’re distracting me, and you know it.”
“No.” He runs his fingers over the sided of my breast, slyly. I gasp. “This would be me sidetracking you.”
I grit my teeth and focus on the bullseye, trying in vain to ignore the bulge pressed up against my ass. Predictably, I miss.
“You’re not concentrating hard enough, love.” He runs his thumb over my throat. I close my eyes and lean back against him, circling my hips. I need friction.
“Ah, ah, ah. Eyes on the board.” He runs his hands down the side of my body, warming me from the inside out. The man is more dangerous than a whole bottle of tequila and bucket of lemons.
Gritting my teeth, I focus on the board once more. I narrow my eyes and hold the dart loosely before I let it fly.
“Much better. I don’t know if that makes you determined or me off my game.” He nips at my earlobe.
“I can’t.” I shake my head and lower my dart.
“You can, and you will. You have one more dart to throw.” He kisses his way down my neck, and I’m trembling as I toss the dart, which misses the targets completely and bounces off the edge of the board onto the floor.
“Oh, a redo.”
I run from him like the devil is chasing me, taking the time to recollect myself as I retrieve the dart. When I return, the torture begins again. I lose horribly. I’m soaked and trembling by the time we walk away. The friction from each step I take has me ready to orgasm.
“Don’t you dare come until I tell you it’s okay, pretty girl,” he whispers in my arm.
“J,” I whine.
He chuckles and steers us toward the bar. Sinking on a stool, he pats his thighs. “Your seat for the night is here.”
I climb into his lap, and he spreads my legs.
“Same thing as before?” the brunette asks.
“Let’s make it two tequila shots this time, Dolly.”
“You got it, Freeze. Congrats again.” She flashes him a dimpled smile, and I narrow my eyes as I study her.
There are many kinds of women involved in the club life. I want to know what type she is. Some come to work, others are working their way through college, and then there are the ones who want to land an Old Man. I know we’re not official in the club’s eyes. Girlfriends are a dime a dozen. Like the military, I have no power with that wife status. That’s on me, though, not him. He asked.
Dolly is friendly. She’s got an easy smile and strikes up friendly conversations with every person I watch her serve. I doubt she’s after a King, or at least, not mine, which is all that really matters. Freeze moves his hand to my lap and massages my thighs, getting closer to my inner thigh with ever stroke. Dolly sets down the shots. He sets up with the salt on his hand again and proceeds to feed me two more shots. I can’t remember the last time I was drunk, but I’m buzzing on the cusp of being tipsy.
“Good girl.” He praises me and moves his finger along the crease of my pants. I jerk against. He growls in my ear. I slowly count to ten to keep from panting like I just ran a 5k. When I close my thighs around his hand, he pushes my legs open again and continues. “Don’t come, B. Not yet. You come, and I’ll paddle your ass until its red.” The words push me to the edge. I open my mouth and breathe deeply as I struggle to obey him.
The thought of his hands on my ass have me squirming. He slaps my thigh lightly. I whimper.
“You know what I think? I think you want to disobey. You want me to punish you. I think you’re silently begging me to spank you. Is that what you want?”
Do I? I can scarcely think with my core pulsing steadily like a heartbeat.
“Answer me.”
I shrug, unable to form words with so many mixed signals going off in my body. I’ve never played like this before. It’s exciting and scary at the same time.
“You don’t know? I think we should find out. I’m going to bend you over my lap an—” I shudder as my self-control breaks. I grip the bar, shaking madly as I come. I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, the metallic tinge of blood fills my mouth. He finishes his beer and sets the empty brown bottle on the bar. “Let’s go.” My stomach flips. What’s he going to do to me? For once the anxiety I feel is good. I’m hyper aware of my body as we travel through the crowd. My nipples rub against the lace of the body suit, and the brush of fabric against my clit is reving me back up. We enter his dorm, and he locks the door behind us. He walks to the bed in the far corner of the room and sinks onto the edge of the mattress.
“Come here.”
His words are a command I don’t dare deny. I stop a few inches from him.
“Take everything off.” I comply, stripping down with trembling hands and a greedy center that keeps clenching and releasing in desperate need of being filled. “Now come and lay across here.” He pats his knees with his hand. I awkwardly lie on my belly. “Hold my legs, like this.” He positions my hands and caresses my ass. He squeezes my cheeks, and I shudder. “Naughty B. Disobeying me. I think twenty swats to start out. Count them back to me.” His hand comes down on my left cheek with just enough force to sting without causing real pain.
“Oh. One.” The pleasurable ache has me dripping.
He slaps the other cheek. “Two.” I lose myself in the swirling desire that circles through me, pushing me toward the edge. I’m throbbing and slick when he delivers the last swat.
“Twenty.”
He cups my pussy and growls. “You’re soaked.” He drags his fingers between my lips and over my clit. I rock against them, and he slaps my sensitive ass. “Not until I say.”
“J, please.”
“Please what?”
“Please play with my pussy.”
“Like this?” He lightly circles my clit.
“No,” I moan, frustrated.
He circles faster. “Like this?”
“Oh no, no, no,” I chant, close orgasm.
“Tell me, B.”
“Inside. I need you to be inside.”
“Like this?” He thrusts home.
“Yes,” I scream as he pumps his fingers in and out, fast and rough. I clutch at his digits, starved for contact.
He hooks his fingers, and I sob as I try to keep from bursting.
“You want to come?”
“Please. Please let me come.”
“Come for me.”
I let go, convulsing as the pressure inside of me breaks. I cry out as liquid spills from me.
“Oh fuck, you just squirted, baby.”
“I-I can do that?” While I’ve read about and seen female ejaculation before, I never came close to experiencing it personally until now. It was the ultimate release after a prolonged arousal. I already want to do it again.
“Yes, you can,” he purrs. “You’ve never done that before?”
I shake my head, breathing hard.
“It won’t be the last time. Not with me.” His dark promises intrigue and seduce. He strokes my ass, soothing my soreness. Bending, he kisses my cheeks and nips at my flesh. I squeal, shocked by his brazenness. The man has no inhibitions, and little by little he’s stealing mine away.
“You got such a nice ass, baby. One day I’m going to fill that, too.” My hole puckers at the thought. “Don’t worry. We’ll make sure you’re nice and ready for it. I’m going to stretch you out until you can take me, and then I’ll make you feel good.” He rubs my rosette, and I tense. A thrill goes through me at the taboo thought. My sex life until now was vanilla. I never could’ve predicted how much I’d enjoy this. “But not yet.” He kisses my ass once more.
“Get on the bed on all fours, and stick that thick ass out.” He helps me stand, and I crawl into the bed. The sound of his belt clanging as his undoes it makes me quiver. I rub my thighs together in anticipation. The bed sinks beneath his weight, and his body covers mine. The slide of his dick between my lips has me fisting the sheets.
“You got such a creamy pussy, B. I’m going to coat my cock.” He taps my clit with his head, and I growl. “Oh, my B is ready for me, isn’t she?”
“Yes,” I groan.
He slams home, and I scream silently as my walls clench around him. He’s relentless as he plunges in and out of me. His fingers dig into my hips. Our bodies slap together, as he opens me up and drives deeper and deeper. I’m shaking, begging and crying as I’m thrust over the edge. He continues to piston inside me, teasing me to arousal before I have a chance to fully come around.
“Come on, B.” He pulls me to him, front to back, cupping my breasts. The new angle makes him feel like this in my throat.
“Oh my God, J. I can’t. Not again.”
“You can and you will.” He slides his head down and circles my clit as we move together like wild things. I scratch the forearm holding me as I throw back what he’s giving me. It’s a frenzied coupling together unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. He tugs my hair, and I tremble on the edge. “You ready to come for me, B?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah?” He thrusts harder, and I close my eyes as I clench around him. He slaps my pussy, and I shatter.
He pumps once more and grunts as he spends himself inside me. I suck down oxygen as the aftershocks continue to make me twitch. We fall onto the bed on our sides, still attached, and breathing raggedly.
‘You okay?” Freeze croaks.
“Uh huh.” Thinking is an impossibility. I can only feel as my body sings and I bask in the afterglow of multiple explosions. He kisses my neck, and I marvel at his duality. How could the man who just fucked me within an inch of my life be so gentle with not just my body, but my battered soul? He eases out, and we both moan.
“Come on, let’s get cleaned up, so we can have an intermission.”
“Intermission?” I whisper.
“We’re just getting started. I need to clean you up now, so I can get you dirty again.”
I bite my lip as desire begins to rise inside of me. Again?
He turns the shower on and helps me inside the basin. “There’s nothing I like more than seeing me inside of you.” He pushes two fingers deep and scoops out his seed. “Whether it’s my seed or my dick. We look so good together.” I lick my lips, mesmerized by his voice. “I like leaving something behind, so when we’re apart, a piece of me is still with you.” He continues to circle my walls, stirring the embers of passion inside of me. “You’re my world, B. Did you know that? Scares the piss out of me, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing. You’re my life’s blood.” He moves faster, and I rock my hips in time with him. “I can’t be without this … ever. You’re my light, B. You understand?”
This is how he says I love you.
He wraps his hand around my throat, applying a light pressure, and I explode. I’m his to command and pleasure. Kissing my temple, he supports me as he holds me beneath the spray and begins to rinse me off. My tongue is tied, my heart is full, and my body is blissed out. He grabs his body wash, squirts some on his palm and soaps me up with his calloused hands. No words are spoken between us in the steamy stall, but a new understanding settles in. He’s right there with me emotionally, even if he can’t say the three little words.