CHAPTER EIGHT
Freeze
“Girl, just go check on the stock in the back,” I bark at Tinley. She’s catching hell from me. I’m in a shit mood, and her hovering has me close to the edge. I know she wants to do well here. Dixie Rose left some big shoes to fill, but I’m not about to be micromanaged by a child. The twenty-two year old might be great with numbers and have years of experience, but if she doesn’t learn how to work with me, she’s going to get her feelings hurt.
I need space and calm. She acts like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. That came straight from B’s country ass. I miss my woman enough to admit I need to ask for a permanent transfer. Now that I have something soft and sweet to hold onto, I’m not keen to be leaving it for months at a time unless I have to. It’s been a long week and a half, and I get to see her tonight as soon as we close. Which is why I have Tinley restocking.
“Shit! We got two coming in hot and armed, Freeze,” the Prospect, Slick, who’s manning the surveillance cries.
“Tinley, lock the room down, and don’t you dare come out,” I bark. I trust her to lock the door and remain behind the bulletproof glass as I remove the gun I have a conceal and carry license for. I knew this day would come. I run toward the front. Some stupid motherfucker is about to test us. A loud pow explodes in the space. They have a shotgun. The first set of doors is breached. I brace myself against the wall in their blind spot. There’s a reason why we have the hallway that leads in from the first doors.
I hope Motley, the Prospect at the door, was wearing vest. I see the first man come into view and I aim for the head. A sound like a rotten melon hitting the ground fills the space, and blood and gray matter splatter against the wall. His partner shoots off a shot and I throw myself away as the bullet takes a chunk out of the wall. I roll and regroup, shooting out a kneecap. He screams as he hits the floor. Slick rushes over, kicks him down, and plants a boot on his chest. “Give me a reason to send you to hell with your friend over there.”
I stand, aim my gun at the ground, and walk over to the man at the start of the hallway. It should be a given that he’s dead, but I’ve seen people Lazarus before. I kneel and check his neck for a pulse. Dead. I hurry outside to find Motley dissertated, bleeding from the head, bound and gagged.
“You okay, brother?” I tuck the gun back in my holster, kneel, and untie him. I have him loose when the sound of sirens reach us, and the flashing blueberries and cherries light the block. It’s going to be a long ass night. The entire block is shut down as they pour in with an ambulance, a coroner, and CSI.
“Headshot?” the corner asks.
“He had body armor and a shotgun. Would you risk it? I had no way of knowing if they were packing slugs or birdshot.”
The man nods. “This is a good point.”
“I’m the owner of this shop. I need to get inside. Stone Mathers. Yeah, I got my ID, and once I show it to you, I want inside.”
A few moments later, he’s entering the room scanning the area.
“She’s fine. She was re-stocking when it happened. So she put the room into lock down mode. A detective is speaking with her in the office, but it’s pretty cut and dry, and it was all recorded.” I shrug. Even if they want to pin this on us, they can’t. It was self-defense.
He pats my shoulder. “You did good, brother.”
“Thanks, P.”
The detective steps out with tapes in hand. “All right. It looks like we have all we need and then some. If you’ll stop by tomorrow to have your official statements taken, we’ll get this all wrapped up.”
I stick my hand out. “Thank you, Detective Russel.”
“I call it how I see it. It’s pretty clear what happened here. It’s not the first time folks have tried for fast cash and got more than they bargained for.”
“Are you the owner?” he asks Stone.
“Yes, sir.”
“Let’s talk and walk. I have a lot of paperwork to do on this one.”
I peer outside and groan as the clunky white news van pulls up. Closing my eyes, I rub my temples. The long night is getting longer by the second.
“How long do you think this will take to fix?” I ask as midnight rolls around and the place is finally empty.
“With our money, I’ll have us back here in no more than three days tops.”
“Jagger?”
I glance up, stunned to see a ragged Blanche hovering by the caution tape.
“Blanche, what are you doing here?”
“It was on the news, and you didn’t answer your phone. I was so worried. I had to do something.”
I glance at Stone.
“Go, all’s done that needs to be. I’m going to make sure Tinley arrives home okay.”
I bet you will.
“All right. Thanks.”
I walk out of the gaping hole the Prospects will board with plywood once Stone gives the order and duck under the tape.
She cups my face. “Are you okay?”
I cover them with my hands and nod. “I’m whole, B.”
“I haven’t been that terrified in a long time. I thought about what I’d do if you were gone.” She shakes her head.
“But I’m not going anywhere.”
Her body shakes.
“Man, you’re really freaked, aren’t you?”
She tilts her head back and meets my gaze. “I’m going to say something, and you don’t have to say it back. I just … I need you to know. Life’s insane, and I can’t have something happen to one of us and you not know that I love you.”
My tongue sticks to the roof of my tongue, and I stare down at the woman who’s dropped the equivalent of an A-bomb on me. I’ve never said those words to another human that I can recall or had them say them to me. I stumble back from her. Her face falls.
“No. No. Don’t do that. I just …” I run my hand through my hair.
“You’re tired, you’ve been through a lot, and it’s late. I don’t expect anything from you, Jagger. There’s no right or wrong response. I-I’m sorry if I freaked you out. This admission was for me.”
“I don’t. You can’t just say that and expect me to …” It’s like my brain is short circuiting. I take a step toward her and a step back. I want to hold her and go for a long ride at the same time. I need to think.
“I didn’t think it would upset you.”
“I-I don’t know what I am. You know my past.” I grit my teeth. “No one’s every said that to me that I can remember.”
Her eyes widen.
“I’m sorry, B. I just … I need to go.” I want to slam my hand into a wall and destroy things. I don’t want to set her off with my rage.
She nods her head sadly, and I spin on my heel, only to turn back. “Let me walk to your car.”
“I can get there just fine on my own.” Her edgy tone scraps my raw nerves.
“Now ain’t the time, B.” I grab her arm and steer her toward the SUV I see a few blocks down.
“The time to what? Have emotions, Freeze?”
The use of my road name infuriates me.
“Freeze? I do one thing you don’t like, and you’re already taking back what you said.”
“No, I’m not. You’re turning into someone I don’t know right before my eyes.”
“I told you this would happen.”
She shakes her head. “Only if you let it. You’re choosing to run. I’m not casting you out, or demanding what you’re not ready to give.”
“Right. Like you aren’t upset.”
“That your answer is to run from our first disagreement? Yeah, that pisses me off.”
“I’m not running.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Clearing my head, so I don’t ruin everything.”
“Oh,” she whispers. “Why didn’t you just say that?”
I want to shake her. “Didn’t I?”
“No, you said you had to go like I’ve suddenly become a leper.”
“Fuck. See. I can’t even do this right—”
“Hey, we both agreed we were learning here.”
Her voice is soft again, the way it usually is with me. We reach her car, and I kiss her forehead.
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Or should I say later on today?”
“You’d better.”
The minute she climbs into the seat, I slam the door and back away. She pulls away from the curb and I all but run to my bike. I’d never thought about this part. Telling her I love her would put my head on the chopping block. Remaining silent hurt her. Despite her saying otherwise. This is my last wall. I don’t get tired of her ever. I want to be around her constantly, and it scares the piss out of me. If I give her this, there will be nothing to anchor me or keep me from completely falling. I don’t know what that will look or feel like.
I start the bike and pull out, letting the road and the rumble soothe me. I’m still wondering what she wants with me. She’s got money, a degree, a family who loves her. She might not have a ton of friends, but the one I met is the kind people rarely find even once in their lifetime. So what is she doing with me? How can she love me? What I want and what I’m willing to accept and believe are at war. I was never enough for anyone else growing up. Can I be right for her? I earn my keep with the club. I keep everyone safe. I understand my place with them and why we work.
Blanche is uncharted territory, and that unsettles me. When she threw the L-word down it took away my control of the situation. I hit the highway and let the wind blow away the memories of rejections. Blanche had nothing to do with those people, and if I let them keep me from her, they win. I’m not big on losing. Fuck. I sent home the woman who left her house at midnight to make sure I was okay. I’m bad at this, but I’m smart enough to know I screwed up. How the hell am I going to make this up? I pull off on the next exit, find a Walmart, and pull into a parking space. I do what everyone does when they don’t know something. I ask Google.
Google, how to make up with your girlfriend after a fight? I scroll through the results. Everything is closed, so these grand gestures aren’t going to happen at midnight, but I have a Walmart, money in the bank, and a sincere regret for how things went down. I kill the engine, climb off, and head inside, a man on a mission.
An hour and three bags of stuff later I’m headed to her apartment. My anxiety spikes. I’m not used to apologizing. Unless brothers need to work off aggression in the ring, things tend to blow over on their own. I walk the bike back into a guest spot, gather my goodies, and do a completely different walk of shame. Knocking on the door, I try not to think about everything that could go wrong, or how silly I feel. She opens the door. rubbing her eyes.
“What in the world, are you doing here right now?” she asks groggily.
“I-I’m sorry.” I thrust the first bags toward her.
“What?”
“I got your favorites, a box of Little Debbie cream pies, Dunkin Donuts coffee, Irish creamer to go with it, and,” I peel the plastic away from the bright bundles of flowers I can’t name, “flowers.”
“I … You did all this because we had a fight?”
I nod my head, waiting.
“Oh, Jagger, you are so damn sweet, I might get cavities.” She launches herself into my arms, and I catch her, stunned.
“You’re not … upset?”
“No. I know you grew up differently than I did. The only thing I ask you to do is communicate what’s going on. I can’t do another relationship in the dark.”
“There are things I’m working out for myself. I might need time and space to work through it. I’m not used to dealing with things in a healthy manner. Usually, I’d go a few rounds in a ring to blow off steam, or worse.”
She frowns as I step inside and close the door behind me.
“I had an anger problem. I was pissed off at the hand I’d been dealt. I felt ignored, and deprived. I never learned how to … properly express emotion, so I blew my top. I was in so many fights, and in and out of court and jail for them. Never any hard time, but enough to cool my jets and met Warped, my Sponsor. He talked some sense into me. Told me I needed to channel my anger and find an anchor. When I got out, I found him, and I’ve been with the Kings of Chaos ever since.”
“They saved you.”
“I think so. The way I was going, I would’ve ended up in one of two places. Jail, or the morgue.” I shake my head, thinking about the stupid mistakes I’d made. There must’ve been a guardian angel watching over me because I hadn’t gotten caught half the time.
“Jesus, Jagger.”
“I was a lost soul.”
“And now?”
“I’m finding myself piece by piece.”
She tenses. “What did you say?”
“I said I’m finding myself piece by piece. What’s wrong?”
“I just had that very thought myself while I was away. Here, sit. Let’s break open these pies, and I’ll put the flowers in water.”
I relax. The sunshine in my life will remain. Seated on the couch full of cream pie and reassurance.
“I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone, B. I can’t even fathom life without you. I know I ain’t where I should be, but I’m working on it.”
“And that’s all I ask.”
“You going to wait for me to get it right, girl?” I whisper.
“Wait for you?” She tilts her head and shakes her head. “No, I won’t sit back and watch, but I will help you.”
She places a hand on my chest, and I lick my lips as I take in her pale blue nightgown with tiny white buttons going down the middle.
“I’m right here as long you are. But I won’t tolerate disrespect or lies.”
“And I won’t give you either. If I don’t tell you something, it’s for your own good, but I won’t lie.” I trail my fingers over the spaghetti straps of her gown. “This is a pretty color on you.”
Her lip twitches up in the corner. “You like it?”
“I do.” I push the straps down her right shoulder. “But I think I’d like it off more.” I bend down and nip her neck. She tilts her head back, giving me total access as I kiss my way down her shoulder and remove the other strap. I gently ease the straps down her body, letting the gown fall to her waist. Cupping her breasts, I push them together and circle her nipple with my tongue. She jerks off my ponytail holder and massages my scalp. I moan as I suck her breast. I roll the other nipple between my thumb and forefinger, tugging gently. I feast on her, basking in her scent and heat. When she presses my face closer, I bite on her stiff peak, and she jerks against me.
“You like it when I bite, baby?”
“Yes.”
I bite the opposite, and she purrs like a kitten. I continue to bite and flick the opposite nipple with my finger. She comes off the couch. My woman likes it a bit rough. I slide my hand down her body and under her gown, stroking my fingers down the front of her panties. The wet stain makes me growl. “You already wet for me, aren’t you? What a good girl. I want you to get rid of these panties, and sit on my lap. You’re going to ride me tonight.” I press my thumb harder against her clit and rub. “You going to take all my dick tonight. I want to feel that tight little pussy wrapped around me, B.”
She bites her lip as she rocks against me. I stop.
“No. Let me hear it. I want every whimper, cry, and moan.” I press my palm into her clit.
“That’s it. You don’t hold back on me. Ever.” I grind my palm against her. She cries out, and I continue. “You going to come for me, baby?”
She nods her head as she peers at me through lowered lids. She’s a Nubian goddess with her high cheekbones, smoldering dark eyes, and full, parted, rose-red lips. I don’t know how I managed to swing her, but she’s all mine now. I remove my hand and tug her hips. Once she’s on her back, I push her panties to the side and suck on her wet lips. She moans, and I grin against her heated flesh. Attaching my mouth to her pussy, I flatten my tongue against her.
I like seeing her wild and needy. I hum as I alternate between sucking and thrusting. She screams out and clamps her thighs around my head as she slams up until her body shakes and she tightens around my tongue. Dripping into my mouth, she’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted as she goes limp against the couch and her legs relax. I kiss the inside of her thighs and remove her panties. After tossing them to the floor, I crawl up her body. I press our lips together, and she comes to life, nibbling my lips as we kiss lazily and she catches her breath.
I pull back, balancing on my forearms as our gazes hold. “Was that good, baby?”
“Oh yeah.” Her voice wavers as she laughs.
“Good. Now you’re going to unbuckle my pants, take me out, and wrap those pretty lips around my cock.”
“Jagger.” She licks her lips.
“Are we going to play that game? Pretend you don’t like it when I tell you how to please me?”
She peers up at me from beneath dark lashes. “It’s not very ladylike,” she whispers.
“Who told you that?” I ask. The playfulness leaves my tone, and she stiffens. “Blanche.”
“M-my ex.”
My desire to kill this man grows. He’s all she’s ever known. Whatever he said, she took to heart.
“I thought we agreed he was an idiot. He has no place here with us. Whatever you like we’ll do. I’m going to taste every inch of you, have you every way I can, and there won’t be a damn thing wrong with it because we’re consenting adults. You’ve been suppressed, and I’m going to make sure you’re set free. ’Cause unlike that punk ass ex-husband, I can handle a woman like you.”
“Like me?”
“A woman with the tightest, wettest kitty, full lips, and a love for sex. I think he couldn’t hang. I just made you come, and you’re already getting wet thinking about what’s next, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she breaths.
“You like sucking me off? Then come and get your dick. It’s as much yours as that perfect pussy is mine now.”
“All mine?”
“All yours, B.” I move to sit back against the couch. “Come and get your dick hard, so you can ride it.”
She’s a lioness, powerful and graceful as she crawls across the couch toward me. Anticipation has my muscles tense, and my belly tightening. This woman ties me in knots like no one else. Her eyes all but glow as she cups me through my jeans.
“You feel ready to me.” She massages me, and I groan. “But I need to do a thorough examination.”
I just unleashed a jungle cat, and I’m ready to see what she has in store for me. “Yes, you do.”
She unbuckles my belt, pops the top of my jeans, and slowly pulls down my zipper. I spring free from my boxers, and she licks her lip. I’m stiff, and my slit is already leaking. Swiping away the drops with her finger, she brings it to her mouth and sucks.
“Delicious.”
“You like the way I taste, baby?”
“I think I need another sample, though, don’t you?” She grips my base and leans forward, licking her way up the underside of my cock. I twitch, and she squeezes me as she circles my head and twists her hand, stroking up in slow, torturous movements that turn me from rock to granite. She surrounds me with her hot mouth, and I thrust up. When she hums, I bury my fingers in her thick hair, unable to keep from thrusting up. I keep my movements shallow as she bobs her head and sucks me harder.
“Just like that, B. Can you take me more? Take me deeper.” I drive up, and she chokes. “Relax your throat. Shit yes. Like that.” I tighten my grip on her hair, and she purrs. The vibrations are nearly my undoing. I jerk free. “You’re going to make me come with that clever mouth. I’m not nearly finished with you.” I reach over and slap her ass. She moans, and I admire the jiggle. “Get on this dick, B. Shit, wait! Condom.”
“Not this time.”
She straddles my lap, grips my base, and slowly lowers on me. She’s exquisite. The feel of flesh against flesh has me ready to slam home. I grip her hips as she works her way down my shaft little by little. She’s on the Merena, and we’ve long exchanged papers. Me because I’d never been committed, though I was careful. Her because her husband had been with who knew how many people. But this was a show of trust.
“Shit, B. This pussy is so good.”
She flexes, and we both cry out. I reach between us and rub her clit. As she gasps, I lean forward, capturing her lips to distract us both as she gets used to me. I nip her lip. “Let me in, baby. Let me fill you up.” She relaxes and slips down the final inch. Fully seated, she tilts back, breathing hard.
“So full,” she whimpers, and I continue my circles on her swollen bud. She whimpers and wiggles her hips. I groan as she grips my shoulders and raises up.
“That’s it, ride me, B.”
Her slow rhythm is a test in patience as she finds her stride. I slap her ass, and she screams. While I rub faster, she rides me harder. I nip at her breasts as she bounces on me, with that slick, tight center. Her body trembles and I know she’s close.
“Come all over me, baby. Show me how much you like that dick inside of you. Whose dick is it?” I thrust harder.
“Oh, God! Mine.”
“Whose?”
“Mine,” she screams as she jerks, coating me with a fresh gush of her desire.
I grip her hips and pound inside of her. “You feel me pounding my pussy?”
“Yes.”
The friction and her inner spasms take me over two strokes later. Biting her shoulder, I give her everything I have to give. I rest my head between her breasts, and she cups my head, holding me to her. I want to say the words to her, but they stick in my throat. So, I wrap my arms around her and will her to feel all the things I can’t say.
***
“You got time for me, P?” I ask as I stand outside his office in the back of the club. I owe him a conversation.
“Yeah, come in and close the door behind you.” I close the door. “Take a seat.”
I sink into the leather seat and sigh. He plans on giving me an ear full. After what went down at Boomers I have no doubt he put tech squad on digging up everything they could on Blanche. He’s testing me to see if I’m going to be straight with him.
“What’s up with your woman, brother?” Stone asks.
I crack my neck. There’s no way to pretty up the ugly truth. B hasn’t talked to me about it personally, but after that day at Boomer’s I looked her up on the net. The story made me see red. I want to find the asshole so I can give him what he deserves. Rotting away in jail is too kind for what he did. I don’t have the right to ask anything from the club now, but once she’s my Old Lady if he comes sniffing around, we’ll handle it.
“I’ll give you a summary. She was married to a pretty prominent surgeon fresh out of college. He comes home late one night and for reasons unknown went off his gourd. He tried to murder her at their million-dollar mansion about a year ago. She fought and escaped. He fled the scene and has been on the run ever since. As you can imagine, she was hounded and his name was dragged through the mud. All kinds of mistresses and questionable behavior came out in the wash. His parent’s blame her.”
“What the fuck?” Stone says.
“Don’t ask. They’re crazy. I’ve seen them, and every other friend she’s run into, treat her as if she’s the bad guy.”
“Is that what happened at Boomers?”
“Yes, they were showing their disdain for her fall. They think she’s lowering her standards dating me.”
“Rich people think money makes them gods. They say we have an old-world mentality, but we got nothing on their pompous attitudes. Your girl is from the South, too, isn’t she?”
I nod my head. “Yeah, a tiny town in Tennessee.”
“She’s stuck between a rock and a hard place then. I don’t like the thought of media attention coming our way.”
“I know. Things have died off for her in the media. Whitney, her daughter, is at school in Virginia now, so they have no reason to target her. Unless they catch him, think we’re good.”
“You’re really into her, aren’t you, Freeze?”
I grit my teeth. He’s making me go places with him I don’t want to.
“I wouldn’t have brought her around otherwise.”
“You figure out her spot in your life, yet?”
“By my side.”
“Permanently?”
“Yeah.”
“She know that?”
I direct my gaze at the ceiling and count to ten. “Look, she’s not a threat to you or the club. She knows how to keep her mouth shut, and I’m teaching her how things work. When I come to you and ask for permission to make her my Old Lady, she’ll be ready. That’s the only explanation I owe you, and it’s all I’m going to give. All the other details are between us.”
“You’re a private motherfucker, aren’t you? Even after all this time around us, we aren’t your family really, are we?”
“You’re the only family I have. I want to patch in here. You know my story. This is all I have. Maybe I don’t act like the other brothers, but most of them grew up here. They had at least one parent in the home. You grow up being bounced place to place you stop making attachments.”
“I get that. It’s why I’m suspicious about this woman. I’m not prying to be nosey, brother. I’m covering all our asses. Why is she different? I know it takes more than a golden vagina to land a Nomad.”
“Why does anyone attract a person? We don’t make sense on paper, but together none of those differences matter. We click. She makes me … want to be a better man. It cliché as fuck, but that’s all I got.” I shrug. “I’m not going to be without her.”
“I’m getting this. Whatever comes from her falls on you, so be sure and be thorough with your lessons. ’Cause the world she comes from and ours are nothing alike. We’re finally getting order around here. I won’t have that interrupted any more than it already was with the attempted robbery.”
“I get that,” I say. “You find anything else about the robbers?”
“Local criminals looking for an easy score. They have no ties to any other M.C.s that we could uncover.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“It should be, but I’m going to keep my eyes peeled just the same. Coincidences are rarely cut and dry.” He rubs his temples, and I know he’s feeling the pressure. “You should probably think about patching in here before you ask her or there’ll be problems when you’re sent to another charter.”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Are you up for taking me on?”
“Hell, yeah. You’re a good brother. I would’ve asked you to stay before now, but I could see you had too much love for the road.”
“That’s changed. When can we get me in for a vote?”
“I’ll bring it up at church next week.”
“Sounds good.”
“You know I’m not busting your chops about your girl, right? I don’t want you thinking I dislike her.”
“I get it. You have to look out for everyone.”
“Good. ’Cause family drama aside, I know a woman in love when I see one. She came to a crime scene in the middle of the night scared out of her mind over you. That told me everything I needed to know. She didn’t give a damn how she looked to others, or if she was breaking the rules, all she cared about was getting to you. Not many women out there would be willing to lay it all out on the line. Hold on to this one. She has the makings of a fine Old Lady.”
“I plan on it. You need me for anything else?”
“Nah, get out of here.”
Rising, I walk to the doorway, but freeze. The one thing about growing a conscience is the inability to silence that tiny nagging voice inside that wants you to do things for other people.
“When you feel that pull toward a woman, it’s best not to ignore it. ’Cause there’s nothing worse than regret. And for what it’s worth, I think it’s mutual.” I walk out before he can comment. What are you doing to me, Blanche? Used to be a time when I minded my own business just fine.