Mackenzie

I swore when I entered the members only club for the first time, I would only be there once. My goal was to check the box for crazy sex and prayed I could mark off the box about my crush at the same time. After last night though, and the way he left so fast once he realized it was me, I was left a tangled mess of nerves. I had to know why he reacted the way he did.

I haven’t felt this dejected since he started bringing his ex-girlfriend home.

Tracy and I have a school project we're working on that we have to finish before our dance lessons. Since her house is closer to school we walked there. When we open, the door my heart instantly sinks to the floor when we find Connor kissing his new girlfriend on their living room couch.

They both jump up, rushing to different sides as Tracy announces, “Ew, get a room.”

I look at the girl, more jealous of her than I’ve ever been of anyone. Torn, I turn to Tracy’s room before I completely break down from a broken heart.

So here I am, looking around for his car in front of the club. I’ve never been to his place, and I can’t ask his sister for his number, so I was hoping to find him here. After waiting awhile, I conclude he’s not going to show. I contemplate not going in at all, but I drove all this way. Even if I only watch tonight, the entire point was to live life more, so why not?

Leaving the safety of my car, I walk down the dark alley. It takes a minute, but I'm granted access, and I slip a simple black mask over my face—the only dress code—and enter.

The last time I entered, I was a bundle of nerves, not sure if Connor was there or how this all would go down. Knowing he's not here now calms me, and a part of me comes alive as I turn the corner, only to be greeted by a threesome already in progress.

I bite back a laugh at the thought of being at a place like this and approach the bar. A drink will help get me more in the mood.

I'm not there long when a guy joins me. "You're new," he says, brushing long brown hair off my shoulder.

From what I can tell, he's pretty cute. His complexion's dark, definitely from his nationality rather than a tan, but in this light I can't quite make out where he’s from.

I pick up my drink, twirling the straw before taking a playful sip. "I take it you come here often then?"

He sits next to me. "Why would you ask that?"

"Well, if you're not here every day, how would you know if I'm new or not?"

He smirks. "Touché. I don't come as often as I’d like. I'm a pilot, and I travel a lot."

"Wow, isn't this supposed to be anonymous? Isn't telling me what you do a little too TMI for this place?"

"Not if it turns you on, which normally it does."

I laugh at the cockiness of this guy, but before I can respond, a hand wraps around my arm and yanks me away from him.

"Sorry, man, not tonight," I hear someone say.

Once I get my bearings, I realize Connor’s literally trying to drag me out the door.

I stop him short, jerking my hand from his grip. "What do you think you're doing?" I whisper-shout at him, trying not to bring any more attention to us than there already is.

"You don't belong here," he growls through clenched teeth.

"You didn't think that the other night."

"That was before I knew it was you."

Ouch. "So now that you know it’s me, I can't be here? That makes no sense.”

“I don’t care what you think.”

"Excuse me?"

"You. Can't. Be. Here," he repeats slowly.

"Last I checked, this was a free country, and I went through hell to find this club and become a member, so you can get off your power trip, because yes, I can be here."

I pivot to return to the bar, but he stops me again.

"Why are you here?" He glares at me, demanding an answer.

"I could ask you the same question," I fight back.

"That's different. I'm a guy. This is what we do."

I let out a loud laugh. "Did you really just say that? Because I'm pretty sure you need a girl to do these things with. I don't think this is the kind of club where you don't."

"You know what I mean." He gnashes his teeth; frustrated I'm not falling in line with his demands.

"Actually I don't. Explain it to me." I cross my arms, plumping my breasts, making him stare directly at them. I laugh. "My eyes are up here, by the way."

He closes his eyes; obviously pissed he got caught looking. "That's why!" he whisper-shouts. "This is not okay. You're my little sister's best friend."

"So?"

He’s shocked I'm demanding more of an explanation. "That's all the reason I need. You're like a sister to me."

I have to hold back my anger. I can't believe he went there. "You sure didn't think that last time."

"That was a mistake," he grunts. "Wait. I call bullshit. Did you know it was me?"

I step back, not sure how to answer. He reaches out, pulling me into him.

"You knew it was me, didn't you?"

I bite my inner lip, knowing there's no way out of this. I tilt my head down, nodding.

His lifts my chin so I meet his eyes. "How did you know I'd be here? I get the feeling this isn't a coincidence."

I shake my head.

"Are you saying no, it's not a coincidence, or no, you're not going to tell me?"

I take in a shaky breath. "It's not a coincidence."

"How did you know?"

"Tracy told me."

His hand goes limp, and the skin around his mask pales.

"How does she know? Holy fuck, please tell me she's not going to join."

I push him back. "Wow, double standards much?"

He pulls me back into him. "Very much so, especially when it comes to my little sister and her best friend."

"Well, your little sister isn't so innocent. She dated Derek, or should I say, she fucked Derek."

I see the anger in his eyes, and I'm not going to lie. It makes me happy to see him upset as me. Derek was Connor's best friend growing up. I can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind.

"She put an end to it when she met Scott, telling him you'd never approve. He tried to rebut that by saying you wouldn't care, and you belonged to a members only sex club, so you wouldn't have a leg to stand on anyway."

"I'm going to kill him," he grunts.

"Okay then, go kill him. Bye-bye." I try to make a getaway but he stops me again.

"That doesn't explain why you're here. I know damn well she didn't send you. So why?"

"Go away. None of that matters." I try to turn away from him again.

"It matters to me. Why did you come to my club?"

I don't respond.

"Does she know you're here?"

I shake my head.

"Did you look into joining other clubs?"

I shake my head so slightly I pray he doesn't notice. The way he moves closer tells me he did. "Why did you come here, Mackenzie?"

I bite my inner lip again, not sure what to say.

His hand comes up to my face. "Did you come here just for me?" he asks, his finger under my chin to hold my gaze to his.

I nod ever so slightly.

"Why?"

I finally find my voice. "Isn't it obvious?"

"You could have fucked any guy here the other night. Why me?" I try to turn away but he doesn’t let me. "How long have you wanted this?" He touches my lower lip. "How long?"

I bite my inner lip harder; I'm sure making it even more obvious. His fingers touch my bottom lip, pulling it out of my grasp.

"How long?"

"Awhile," I whisper.

He leans in, pushing up against me, the hard bulge in his pants taking me by complete surprise.

"How long's awhile?" he murmurs against my neck, sending shivers through me. He laughs softly. "That long, huh?"

I don't respond.

"Since college?" he asks and presses his lips against my shoulder. "Since high school?" He makes his way up my neck to my ear. "Tell me, am I your fantasy?"

I quiver from the chills covering my body. "Yes," I breathlessly respond, and without warning his lips meet mine.

We kissed at the club, but not like this. This is real. This is him, kissing me, knowing who I am.

A rush I've never imagined, but have dreamed about for years, flows through me. When he pulls back, I almost whimper.

"I'll be your fantasy, but for tonight only. Then you never come back." He looks me dead in my eyes. "Deal?"

I'm not sure if I should jump for joy or cry at his odd statement. I can't read if he wants this, too, or if this is just for me.

God, I hate being a girl, always questioning everything more than I need to. This is sex. I'm at a sex club. My dream guy is offering me exactly what I want. I know I shouldn't question it so I stare him in his eyes and reply, "Deal."

His hand meets with mine and he walks me to the exit.

"What are you doing?" I timidly ask.

"This is your fantasy, not theirs. I don't want people seeing you." He leads me into the changing area.

My head spins in confusion. "How come you don't want people to see me? You put on quite a show on Thursday."

"That was different." He pulls me into his arms.

I ask, "How was that different?"

"Because I didn't know who you were." He pushes my hair away from my face.

"That doesn't really answer my question."

"If I’d known it was you last time, I never would have put you on display like that."

I lean back, ready to argue, but he places a finger over my lips. "I know. Absurd double standards, but don't shoot me. I am who I am, and I protect the ones I care about."

I wish we didn't have these masks on. It's club rules, so I don't push but I’m dying to see his face so I can read each expression for what it’s meant to say. My stomach flutters in anticipation when I realize wherever he plans on taking me we won’t have to wear them.

“Get dressed. I’ll be at the door.” He kisses my cheek.

I put on my outfit and smooth the material, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. This is different than last time, and I hope I don’t make a fool of myself when we’re alone.

He’s waiting at the exit, fully dressed and twirling his keys when I exit the area. With a quick lift to his eyebrows, he opens the door, holding it for me and saying goodbye to the bouncer.

He removes his mask, and I do the same. My heart pounds as I glance down to make sure I don’t trip, because I can barely feel my legs I’m so excited.

I bring my hands together, worrying them while I try to focus on walking and breathing at the same time.

“Hey.” Connor stops, cupping my head in his hands. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.”

His lips softly touch mine before he takes my hand and walks me to his car. After I sit down, my head drops to the seat as I try to calm my nerves in these brief seconds alone.

The ride is quiet and short. I feel him looking at me a few times, and the laugh he lets out doesn’t help my jumbled thoughts.

“You sure weren’t this nervous on Thursday,” he says, parking the car and placing a hand on my knee.

“You didn’t know who I was.” I kick myself after the words slip out.

He pauses, like he’s thinking to himself. “You’re right. I didn’t know it was you.”

The way he looks at me takes me by surprise. He’s not mad, but the smile on his lips makes my heart pound in a different way. I’d die to know what he’s thinking, but he opens the door, exiting before I work up the nerve to ask.

We don’t see anyone as we enter his building. When the elevator stops and the door opens, I have to talk myself through the simple action of walking so I don’t lose my shit and fall on my face.

He unlocks his apartment door and steps back, motioning for me to enter first. I mentally pinch myself to make sure this is actually happening.

It’s dark, and to my dismay, he doesn’t turn on the lights. Instead he grips my hand and walks me to his bedroom. The streetlamp lights the room through gaps in the blinds. It’s enough to see him but not enough to bring everything to life.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

Before I can respond, his lips meet mine, and his hands roam down my arms and around my waist, scrunching up my dress and pulling it off over my head.

With my arms still raised, he trails his fingers down to my elbows, past my shoulders, and along my sides to my waist, toying with the top of my panties.

Since I didn't think I'd be going back to the club, I only bought one pair of sexy lingerie. I bite my inner lip, hoping my matching bra and panty set with black lace turns him on.

"I like this," Connor says, slipping his fingers around the thin waistband and sliding the panties down my thighs.

When he's on his knees in front of me, I glance down at him in awe.

"You were sexy last time, but this is more you," he says, taking my hands and wrapping them around his neck.

My mind goes completely blank as I gaze at the man I've loved for so long, on his knees while I'm naked in front of him.

He smiles and his eyes light up, shaking his head slightly like he can’t believe what he’s about to say. "While I was at my parents’ house, before I knew you were there, I had a moment where I licked my lips, searching for any lingering taste of you."

I stop breathing.

The sexy as sin grin he gives me before leaning in, wrapping my leg around his shoulder, completely does me in. His hands wrap around my waist, making sure I'm steady before his warm, slick tongue slowly makes its way up my pussy, spreading me using only his mouth.

I can’t tell if it's this position, the way his tongue dances around my clit, or knowing that Connor, the Connor Hayden, is licking me, but instantly the hunger for more makes my worries fade away. Excitement rushes through me and no matter how much I fight it, it's fighting right back. Making my world brighter and lighter until it's there.

Pure heaven.

The most intense feelings surround my soul, lifting my world higher than the space around me, far away from every light imaginable and slowly releasing its grip on me, floating me back down to earth one soft illumination at a time.

I don't make a sound. Not one. I can't. I’m frozen in my own world until Connor guides me to the bed, lies on top of me, and kisses all the life back in.

I lift my arms to wrap them around him, but he stops me.

"I want this to be your night, but let me do it my way. I promise I’ll worship your body the only way it deserves, making up for the way I didn't last time we were together.

"Connor—"

"Shh. Trust me."

His fingers intertwine with mine and remove them from my hold around his neck.

"I want you to keep your hands on the bed and only on the bed. Don't touch me. Not because I don't want you too, but because I want to do everything. I don't want your help in any way."

I nod, gripping the sheets on either side of me with my arms spread wide.

"I swear I'll make it worth it," he whispers before kissing me again.

My arms instinctively move to wrap around his neck, and he pulls back, lifting one eyebrow. My hands drop to the bed, and he lowers himself, kissing down my neck and over to my shoulder, where he pulls my bra down.

When my breast pops free, his warm mouth takes in my tight bud, licking it before moving to the other one.

Tingles flood my body when he reaches behind my back, unhooking my bra, then sliding it off my arms.

He sits up on his knees, leaning back and staring at my naked body. I instinctively move to cover myself but the expression on his face stops me.

He's liking this. Hell, he's more than liking this. He takes in every inch of my bare skin. I've never felt so sexy and appreciated in my entire life.

He licks his lips, and I remember his admission of wanting to taste me last night. Our eyes meet, and he licks them once more, showing me the slightest tilt to his lips in pleasure.

I can't help but take in his shirtless figure. My heartbeat races when he unbuckles his belt, pulls it out of the loops, then unbuttons the top button.

I'd think he was teasing me, but it’s more like he's thinking about something. I wish I was a mind reader, so I could hear exactly what he's thinking.

He slides his pants down, and his cock springs free.

After reaching for a condom, he stops short of opening it. "I've always worn one of these. I know you're clean and on birth control because it's club rules, and you know I'm the same...." He pauses, looking at me for a few breaths. "I don't want to wear one right now. I don't feel it's right to be with you wearing a barrier like this."

My eyes fill with tears. He gets it. He gets me. And in this moment I know this is truly my fantasy.

I sit up, and we kneel facing each other.

"I don't want you to use one either," I whisper and reach up to kiss him, the first time I’ve done so. It is so exhilarating, kissing him the way I've always wanted, the way I’ve dreamt of doing for years.

He lowers me to the bed, holding onto each one of my hands, stretching my arms wide.

He rises only enough to position himself correctly, then pushes inside me, caressing my insides with his bare cock.

I moan deeply, white-knuckling the sheets and arching my back.

Connor's quick to meet my lips with his, holding my face as he slides in and out of me in the most addictive, seductive, mind-blowing way.

I pull my arms in but he shakes his head ever so slightly, his lips never leaving mine. His elbows open wider, indicating for me to keep my arms in place so I do.

Up, down, back and forth. I can't get enough, yet I can't do anything about it.

He's in complete control and I’m not able to bring on my orgasm I so deeply crave. He tortures me, sliding in and out, applying only enough pressure to bring me to the edge but not tip me over.

When he moves, I feel the difference of bare skin, and I'm that much closer to what I want—no!—where I need to be.

He doesn't care. He maintains his rhythm, pushing higher and slightly harder with every thrust.

I try to scream, but his mouth covers mine, swallowing every sound I make. I've never felt so helpless yet so taken care of in my entire life. Every movement he makes is for me. Only meant to take me higher than I was seconds before.

My breathing is so ragged, I can barely contain it anymore but he doesn't let go. His tongue dances with mine, matching the movements his cock makes inside me.

I can't breathe. I'm so out of my mind, I'm going crazy.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes when he says, "Now," pressing hard into me, causing me to explode, making my entire world lift once again.