CHAPTER 6
Rayna
I worked every day that week, enjoying the time away from home. Besides, they needed constant coverage and paid me overtime. A few days had passed before Declan sent another message inquiring about Rachel, coming only to my screen as I blushed. He was persistent, and I sent a reminder that she was no longer a working girl. I hated the idea of suggesting another girl for him, knowing that I didn’t want him touching someone else.
That thought sobered me. A lot.
Not that he wanted it. Declan was insistent about the subject, and I responded the way that I should. All I could do was tell him that Rachel wasn’t available any longer. Maybe I should give this to some of the other girls so I wouldn’t have to deal with this, but I knew that they would start to ask questions. The staff generally knew one another, at least casually and there never was a Rachel that worked for the agency. They would wonder what was going on, who lied, and why. I was already hiding this job from my husband and family, so any more questions wouldn’t do my situation any good.
James came home from his trip a week after my night with Declan. He scoffed at my hair and asked if I thought that I was actually attractive this way. God, I wished that my mother knew how he spoke to me as he turned and returned to the garage, leaving me home alone in tears. It was so different than the way that Declan spoke to me, and I missed him as I sank to the floor. I made my way to the bedroom, showering and crawling into bed as I prayed for him not to come home. I didn’t care who he was with, where he was at. I just wanted James to stay away from the house. I felt lucky that he hadn’t done more, sensing that he was in a mood tonight.
I woke up early and decided to go to the gym. I was tense and needed to release it somehow, and I dressed in some workout clothes quickly. We’d gotten a family membership with both sets of parents’ months ago, ignoring their suggestion that I go a few times a week.
Mom was beautiful with soft blonde hair that was highlighted with shades of honey and a gorgeous body. She was fifty-five but looked fifteen years younger with smooth skin and beautiful green eyes. She was at the gym every damn day, and I’d heard many times that I ought to do the same when I wasn’t working. My father was also very handsome, and I wondered how they produced me some days.
James family was Italian and all about their dark, good-looking heritage. His mother was exotic and gorgeous and his father a handsome, controlling man that ruled his family. James had a couple of siblings; a brother that was older and a sister that was younger and married with two children. That did nothing to quell the questions about my having kids soon, something that I knew both James and I didn’t want now.
I drove to the gym, just a few minutes away and parked before I pulled my hair up. I got out of the car and walked inside, flashing my card to the girl at the desk before I headed back to the cardio room, lost in my thoughts. I was approaching a treadmill when I felt something in the room shift and looked up. Declan was on one a few rows up, and my eyes lit up as I looked over his body for a long moment. He seemed to be focused on the workout, and I licked my lips slowly as I looked around. Should I leave? It wasn’t like my hair was just one color that would blend in, and I remembered how good of a view he’d gotten when he was behind me, taking me slow and hard.
I blushed at the memory and decided to go to the smaller and more private room. It was for the women that wanted to work out without all the fit bodies around them, and a place that I’d feel comfortable, particularly now. I got on the one free treadmill and put on my headphones to turn on some music while I worked out. It had been about three weeks since I’d seen the inside of his place and I realized that the way my legs ached was something like how my body felt when I was with Declan. Maybe I should work out every day and get out some of the stress in my life since I had time during my day. I could lose the twenty or so pounds that Mom told me about every time that I saw her.
It would make everyone happy.
I had a good view of the door and watched as Declan left the gym, his hair damp as he draped a towel around his neck. So, that’s how he kept himself in shape, here at my gym. Maybe I’d find a different location since it was evident that Declan could come here any time he pleased. I couldn’t run the risk of running into him here.
God, I wanted him again as he disappeared from my sight. I remembered everything about him that night in a flash of memories that made me heat up in addition to the sweat that was soaking through my shirt. I had his email, and it would be easy, but no…I couldn’t.
I finished my workout and went home to shower before work, dressing in a clingy gray dress with heels. It didn’t really matter what I wore since I didn’t see customers during the night, but sometimes a woman just needed to feel pretty.
I entered with a soft, warm greeting and went into my office to warm up the Mac for the day. I wondered what today would hold and sat down as I sipped the vitamin water zero today, feeling encouraged by the workout. There was a message from Declan immediately, asking how he could contact Rachel personally. I considered the answer.
Her name wasn’t Rachel, and she’s not interested in another night. It’s not personal.
He shot back asking what her name was. Declan said that he couldn’t stop thinking about the woman that he spent the night with, that he wanted to see her again. I told him again that I wasn’t interested, or that the woman wasn’t. I suggested another woman again as my heart ached.
He seemed to stop for the night as I kept the appointments moving, trying to push Declan from my mind. It couldn’t work. I was married, which was wrong. I never should have slept with Declan, to begin with given that fact alone, but James worried me as well. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t let me go so quickly, possibly going after anyone I got involved with. Even if James were cheating on me, he wouldn’t feel as though I had the right to do the same.
I didn’t want to risk anything happening to someone involved with me.
I worked steadily, feeling productive as I glanced at the clock. I didn’t want to leave the office for lunch, so I ordered some Thai food in. I wasn’t sure if I was worried about running into Declan again or not since we apparently lived in the same part of the city. He knew that Rachel was a fake name now so what would he think if we came across each other?
I made that a habit in the following nights, not leaving the office and going to a gym that was further away. James wasn’t home a lot, but when he was, he made his presence known. His cruel comments echoed through the house as I only tried to avoid him, ending with him pushing me against the wall one night with anger in his dark eyes. He looked so much like his father, and I couldn’t help but wonder of this is what Anthony did to my mother-in-law. “What do you want?” I asked softly as I gazed into his eyes. His hands were digging into my upper arms tightly, making me realize I’d be wearing long sleeves in the pleasant Spring weather that I cherished since it seemed to be so brief.
“Your hair… losing weight…tell me, are you fucking someone else, Rayna? Are you unfaithful to our marriage?” His voice was low in my ear, and I heard him chuckle.
“Are you?” I demanded as he pulled back, staring at me darkly. “You’re the one that’s never home.”
“I work, Rayna. I do that to have this house and this life. Are you feeling ungrateful for that?” He asked as tears stung my eyes. “I allow you to work. Maybe I should see what it is you really do, even though it keeps you out of my hair,” he mused aloud as I sighed and felt his grip tighten.
I showered after he left, feeling dirty and exposed. I’d distracted James from the idea of looking into my job the only way that I knew how. He was rough with me, and I clung to the memories of Declan as I gave myself to my husband the way that I was supposed to do.
I told everyone that I did freelance photography and since they had no interest in my favorite hobby, they never asked to see anything. If they did, I had photos to show them because it was an interest of mine. They just talked about the law firm or something worthy of conversation instead of anything about me.
I felt like James left the house forgetting about me today, hoping that he’d gotten what he needed. I couldn’t bear the idea of being intimate with him, despite my title as his wife.