Chapter Thirty-Eight

Calla

I couldn’t push him too hard. I was dying to blurt out the words, but I had to let him do this on his own. He was skittish and I knew I had put him way outside his comfort zone, but I had to hear the words. It was silly and maybe even a little selfish, but I had to know for sure.

My heart was full to bursting at the idea that he loved me. I knew he did. I felt it in every touch, with every look. The man was struggling because he didn’t know how to love. He didn’t know what it was to be loved. That hurt my heart, but I was prepared to show him how good it could be. How good we could be together, if he could say the words. I couldn’t let myself get into another one-sided relationship. Blake had never truly loved me, and looking back, I could admit I never loved him. I thought I had, but it was more of a desire to not be alone than a true and abiding love.

I watched the myriad of emotions flood over his face. Another woman would have been horrified to see the panicked look on his face, but not me. I knew him too well. I knew that for Jake, simply coming here was a huge statement of love. I should let him off the hook. But no. If this was going to work, he had to be able to trust me with his feelings, and I had to be able to trust him with my heart.

“Jake?” I prompted. “I have to hear it.”

My heart went out to him as I watched him struggle. My big, burly mountain man was struggling to say three little words. I couldn’t take his misery another second.

I reached for the bottle of tequila, poured some in the single glass and drank, before refilling it again.

“Here,” I pushed it towards him.

He looked miserable as he gulped it down. I took the glass and set it on the table next to the bottle.

“Truth or dare?”

He gave me a strange look. “What?”

“The last time we played our little game, you dared me not to fall for you. I lost. What about you?”

His face twisted into a look of abject misery.

I unbuttoned a few buttons of the blouse I had put on, just enough for him to see I hadn’t bothered putting on a bra. After the tape, my breasts deserved a little freedom.

He stared at the cleavage for long seconds before his arm snaked out and grabbed me, dragging me onto his lap.

“That wasn’t the last time we played your little game,” he snarled. “The last time ended with me fucking you on my kitchen table after you pleasured yourself.”

I gasped at the memory. It had been one of the most erotic experiences of my life. I should have known he would recall it as well.

“Well?” I asked, his forehead pressed against mine, his lips just out of reach.

His eyes met mine, separated by no more than a couple of inches of shared air. “I did. I do.”

“Do what?”

“I love you,” he croaked out before engulfing my mouth in his own. Pure joy radiated through my body as his arms went around me, hugging my body close to his. I fought back tears, not wanting to turn into a complete girl.

His kiss deepened and intensified. I could already feel his hard length beneath me. I was pleasantly surprised to know he was ready to go again. My body had longed for his touch for too long. I knew it would take more than a few times for me to get my fill. I hoped he felt the same way.

“Jake,” I pulled away from his mouth.

“I’m not finished,” he growled, slamming against my mouth with such ferocity I squealed with excitement.

I loved when he went all caveman. Being with him always was thrilling. I loved the way he dominated me. I had to be strong and powerful in real-life, but with him, I could kick back and let him be the boss.

“We should go to bed,” I told him.

“We already did it in there,” he murmured against my mouth.

I laughed. “Is there a rule about using the same place more than once?”

“My rule. I want to fuck you right now.”

I heard a clacking of toenails out on the dining room floor. Evie had left the living room. I started giggling thinking about my rather prissy dog witnessing such animalistic behavior.

“Why are you laughing?” he groaned in frustration.

“Sorry, just silliness.”

In truth, I was giddy. His words had put me into such a good mood I felt like giggling. It was like being thirteen and finding out the quarterback had a crush on you. I felt like a school girl getting my first kiss.

“Is it the room? This is your parents’ house, right?”

I nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“Are they coming home anytime soon?” he asked worriedly.

I shook my head. “No, they went on a cruise to the Bahamas. They won’t be back for a few days.”

He looked relieved. “Okay, so, what’s the problem?”

“Nothing. I have zero problems. I’m sorry to giggle, but you really kind of made my day. I am so happy I want to dance on the rooftop.”

He kissed me and smiled. “It’s a little cold for that.”

“You made me the happiest girl in the world. I’m giddy.”

His hands moved up my back. “Can I make you horny instead?”

I laughed. “Jake, anytime you are near me I’m horny. Hell, you don’t even have to be near me to make me want sex. I have been semi-aroused for a week, thinking about you.”

That made him grin. “Good. I’ve had the same problem, which is why I really, really want to make love to you.”

His words sent a spiral of delicious heat around my heart that pooled in my belly. “Make love?” I whispered, my earlier giddiness forgotten.

“Yes. I want to make love to you.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat brought about by his tender words. We had fucked before. Making love was different.

“Okay. Let’s go to bed.”

I moved to get off his lap. I reached for his hand and walked towards my bedroom. I heard Evie’s nails on the floor again and knew she was following me.

“Stay,” I ordered.

Jake looked at me with confusion.

“Not you, the dog. You,” I said, turning to wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my body close to his. “You are coming with me. I’ve got plans for you.”

He groaned and started walking, pushing me down the hall. He stopped outside my bedroom door and backed me against the wall, kissing me deeply.

“I love you,” he said again. “You didn’t say it, Calla.”

I looked up at him. “I love you, Jake.”

The words were all the man needed. His hands were on me, shredding the shirt I had put on while he shoved me into the room. I grinned. First, we needed to have hot and dirty sex and then we could make love.

I awoke the following morning embraced in my man’s arms. It was a wonderful feeling. He had me pulled against his chest as if he would never let me go. We had fallen asleep after a long day of love making. I had ordered pizza late last night when we realized we were famished. We never left the room.

He had warned me about the possibility of him having a nightmare, but I assured him it would be okay. I wasn’t afraid. I could never be afraid of him. The man had slept like a rock beside me, never even stirring.

I carefully pulled his arm off me and scooted to the edge of the bed. Evie would probably be anxious to get outside. I quietly threw on my robe and tiptoed out of the room, planning to crawl right back in bed and snuggle close to him as soon as Evie was finished doing her business. I had made it down the hall when I heard the doorbell ring.

“What the hell?” I grumbled.

I looked at the clock. It was only seven. Who in their right mind would be ringing the doorbell that damn early. It rang again, infuriating me.

I rushed to the door to stop whoever it was from doing it again and waking the sleeping giant in my bed. I unlocked the door and yanked it open.

“What?” I snarled.

It was Blake. Shit.

He pushed his way inside, not waiting for an invitation.

“What do you want, Blake?” I whisper yelled, hoping to holy hell that Jake didn’t wake up and find Blake standing in the living room.

“You didn’t return my calls. I was worried,” he said, his eyes darting around the room and settling on the bottle of tequila. “You got drunk? Alone? Calla, really, if you’re that miserable, just come back to me.”

I rolled my eyes. “You need to go.”

“I want to talk.”

“No. It’s seven o’clock in the morning. I was in bed. I only got up to let Evie out. Go home,” I said with exasperation.

He shook his head. “No, not until you agree to go out with me. Dinner. We can talk and work out all this stuff between us.”

I sighed. “Damn it Blake, I’m really not trying to be a bitch, but we are over. Done. Finished. We are never, ever getting back together.”

For a moment I was tempted to sing that last part, but managed to stop myself. I didn’t know how else to tell the man we were never going to happen though, and I couldn’t believe how obnoxious he was being. He had never put that much effort into our relationship all the time we were together and now suddenly he decides to show up.

“One dinner. Come on, you owe me that much,” he said, with his most charming smile.

A month ago, that smile would have disarmed me. I would have fallen back into his arms and been miserable until we broke up again.

I shook my head. “It won’t work this time. We have nothing more to say to each other. You’re only doing this because you can’t handle the fact I am walking away from you. No,” I said holding up a hand. “I am running away from you. Lose my number. Don’t come by. It’s time you leave me alone, Blake. You are becoming a serious annoyance.”

He stepped towards me. I stepped back and around the table. He kept walking towards me. I stopped, put my hands on my hips and gave him my best death glare.

“Calla, you are being ridiculous. Let me show you how much I care about you.”

I almost felt bad. He looked genuine, but I knew the man was a master manipulator. It could all be a show.

“Will you please leave?” I asked, in a much kinder tone. “I’m sorry, but we both need to move on. We were never really happy together, it’s why we were constantly fighting and breaking up. I don’t blame you, Blake. I want you to be happy. Find a girl that suits you.”

He looked at me, really looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “You’ve changed. What’s different about you?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “I have changed. I’ve realized I want something different and you aren’t it.”

That seemed to surprise him and I inwardly laughed. If he knew what changed about me he would probably become apoplectic. The man was a boring stiff in the bedroom. He would be absolutely appalled to know what Jake and I did together. That idea alone gave me a great deal of satisfaction.

Blake could have never pleasured me like Jake did.