Chapter 18
Allie
My pussy was wet when I woke up the next morning. It was early, only quarter to six, and my alarm wasn’t set to go off for another half-hour. My dreams of Steven had woken me, and now I was horny as hell, and my pussy was aching for something—anything. I wanted Steven’s cock again. I wanted him in my mouth, down my throat, and in my tight little hole.
I wanted to feel his body grinding against mine. Thinking about his tender kiss, and how it had become something feral and savage made me wetter. I wished he was there to fill me up.
I settled for my own fingers, running them down my belly and over my clit. I wandered down the length of my slit, easing my folds to the side like petals. All the while I thought about how Steven had fucked me the night before.
When he had bent me over and shoved his cock into me, I thought I might scream. I hadn’t had sex in over three months, and his dick felt bigger than I remembered. He hadn’t warmed me up, either, like he usually did. He had gone right for it, thrusting deep inside me and not holding back.
Then, right in the middle of it all, when he had used his fingers, I lost it. It had felt so damn good.
I slipped a finger into my pussy and pretended it was Steven’s. I wanted him to do that to me again.
I used my other hand to caress my bud. My orgasm was close. I was so wet. I was ready to be fucked again. I wished Steven had stayed the night. We could have woken up together—or he could have woken me like he did that one time by pressing his erection up against my back. What a delightful way to wake up.
I sucked in a breath and held it while my pussy tightened. My toes curled. I held my breath as my orgasm shook me. I let it consume me and didn’t gasp for air until I was done.
I stared at the ceiling for a while afterward, catching my breath, enjoying the ticklish sort of feeling as I ran my fingers over my pussy until my alarm went off.
There was no better way to start the day.
At work, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that had settled in my belly since my morning session. I was worried that Steven wouldn’t reach out again. Maybe he had got what he wanted. The way he had left the night before kept replaying over and over in my mind, and the anxiety over losing him reached an all new high.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he had said. What did that mean? We had enjoyed our meal and laughed as freely as we used to. He hadn’t hesitated to carry me to the bedroom, where he proceeded to screw me like he never had before. I had been sure that he had wanted to fuck me as badly as I wanted to fuck him.
His words had left an opening for doubt. Maybe it had just been sex for him. It was more than possible. Had he moved on over the last three months. Maybe he didn’t love me anymore.
I knew I loved him. I had never stopped. Even though I doubted I would ever see him again, I be forever in love with him. For a fleeting moment, I had thought the feelings were mutual last night. Now, I was back to being completely unsure.
Now that I thought I had him back, I was terrified of losing him again. My heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.
I spent the first half of my shift tense, nervous, and checking my phone every fifteen minutes hoping to see a text message or a missed call from Steven.
That afternoon, I found myself sitting at a new salad bar around the corner from my work. It was a small place with a minimalist feel. The tables were all aluminum with matching chairs and a glass vase with a single daisy in the middle. I was meeting Melissa there, and for the first time in a long time, I had arrived first.
When Melissa did arrive, I had finished perusing the menu. It had been an adventure. There were over thirty salads to pick from. I stood up, and we hugged. Then we both sat back down. I let Melissa choose her salad, and once we had ordered, she tucked in her chair and blew out an exasperated breath.
“I’m sorry I had to bail on you so last minute yesterday,” Melissa began. “Everything has been so crazy at work lately. This is the first lunch break I’ve had all week. And I’ve been working until eight every night. This is the worst time of year, you know, and we are totally understaffed and—” she stopped talking and shook her head. “Nevermind. We only have an hour. All I’ve been doing is working. I don’t want to waste this time thinking about that place. How are you? You look good.”
I smiled and tightened my hands in my lap. Melissa had been worried about me over the last few months. She had told me so many times. Living without Steven had been rough. It had taken a mental and physical toll, and Melissa had seen me at my worst.
“Things are really good,” I said, waiting for her to ask more questions.
“Really good?” Melissa said with a tilt of her head and an arched eyebrow. “Care to elaborate?”
“Well,” I said, leaning forward and not fighting the smile that was stretching my cheeks. “I ran into Steven yesterday on my lunch break. I went to that little diner down the street. He was sitting at another booth by himself. When he saw me, he got up, and we sat together.”
“It wasn’t weird?” Melissa asked skeptically.
“It was a little bit, but it passed. Especially later when I invited him over to my place for dinner,” I said.
“He came over last night? Really? What did you guys do?” Melissa sipped her glass of water but kept her focus on me.
“We ate dinner. And we talked. And then, after we talked, and after he forgave me, we went into the bedroom. And you know, one thing kind of led to the other.”
Melissa put her glass down and shook her head. She was smiling, but it was small. “Good God, the two of you are something else. Does this mean you’re back together, or what?”
“We were never together in the first place, remember? We were just friends who happened to be attracted to each other.”
“And who fucked each other’s brains out. Yeah. I remember. I also remember the last three months where you’ve been miserable and, on some days, were incapable of even dragging yourself to work.”
“Things are looking up,” I said, hoping some of my optimism might rub off on her. “Although, they aren’t what they were before the whole Andrew thing came out in the open. I asked Steven if he wanted to spend the night last night, or even stay and watch a movie. He said no. Which was weird. He never used to turn down movie nights. He said he didn’t think it was a good idea.”
“Maybe you just need to take baby steps to get back on track,” Melissa suggested.
“Maybe.”
“Look, all I know is that you were so happy when things were going well between the two of you, and you were miserable when they weren’t. Don’t let him go this time, Allie. You deserve to be happy. If Steven is the one who can give that to you, you need to pursue that. Don’t you think?”
“Sure,” I said. “It sounds great when you put it like that, but it isn’t just about me. I don’t know where his head is right now. He said he forgave me, but when he left, I had the impression that he might still need a bit of time. Which is fine. I can give him that. I should give him that, right?”
Melissa shrugged and sipped on her water again. “I don’t know. You know him better than anyone else. It’s your call. All I know is I’ve thought the two of you should be a couple since the first time I saw you together. Don’t let something come between you again—even if that something is time.”
I sighed and rested my chin on my hand. I blew a loose strand of hair out of my face and gave Melissa a pouty face. “When did life get so hard?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Allie. Maybe when you started fucking your best friend?”
We both burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh again, even though it was at my own expense.
Our salads arrived, and we chatted a bit about other things. Melissa ended up talking a bit about her work, which I didn’t mind. She needed to rant, and I was more than willing to be her sounding board. After everything she had done for me over the last few months, it was the least I could do. Without her, I knew I wouldn’t have come out the other side still employed.
After we had paid our bills, Melissa leaned in close. “Okay, I have fifteen minutes left. Spill the dirty details. I want to know everything. How was he?”
I giggled and rolled my eyes. “He was better than ever. Not to mention, he’s somehow even hotter. He’s got the beginnings of a beard going on. He looks like a rugged businessman now.”
“Shut up,” Melissa half-squealed half-whispered.
“Serious,” I said. “And he does this new thing with his hair. It’s shorter on the sides and slicked back on top. It’s so sexy.”
“Right, right,” Melissa said, rolling her hand in the air between us to encourage me to skip ahead to the good parts. “And in bed?”
So I gave her the details. She listened in electrified silence, her mouth falling open when I revealed the juicy parts. When I was done, she sighed wistfully and poked at her empty plate. “I need a man who will do that to me,” she said.
“Well, I’m sure one will come along,” I said with a small shrug.
“I don’t know. Steven isn’t exactly representative of the male population. He’s kind of a rare find, you know? Good looking. Successful. Hot as hell. Good in bed. A trustworthy friend. It’s not fair to roll all those qualities up in one person.”
“No, it’s not,” I agreed with a nod. “It’s kryptonite.”