CHAPTER 10
Rayna
I went home to an empty house, relieved that James wasn’t home. I could make something up if needed and the chances are that he wouldn’t even be awake to ask if he was home. I just wasn’t sure. It was easier to be alone when I showered and crawled into bed, feeling like I avoided a storm tonight.
If I told James that I was leaving him, what would he say? What would my parents say? I had money in a bank account that would get me an apartment, but I felt like I’d be completely starting over all on my own.
Declan was a wonderful man, and I loved the way that he made me feel, but realistically, it was two nights. Two nights of sex. He told me that he’d help me, protect me but Declan didn’t realize the cost. If James or my parents didn’t find out about him, things could be okay. But if they did, they could ruin him financially or even harm him. My dad was just as powerful as he was and he would hate me for leaving a powerful man like James. Mom would tell me that I was stupid and I looked back at their own loveless marriage sadly. They were never affectionate towards one another, and I was put right in the same place as if it was just an arrangement. That wasn’t what marriage was to me, and I knew that I had to find the strength to leave and face life on my own.
Still, I stayed. I chatted with Declan on the computer almost every day, finding out that he was involved in his own divorce. That was why he was seeking the attention of an escort, but it had been more than that for both of us. I learned about his hotel chain and how his grandfather passed it down to him when he died ten years ago. Declan had a warm and loving family, with two parents and a brother and a sister that lived in Oregon. He went to see them on holidays and spoke to them every day.
It was so different from what I was used to. I grew up in a house with staff and parents that were rarely home, without any love.
I booked appointments for the girls around our chats, just working through everything that was happening around me. There wasn’t a lot going on with holidays or any family celebrations, so I was mostly left to myself. James was gone more than ever, and I felt like I could sleep safely. He seemed occupied and busy, something that worked out well for us.
I caved and saw Declan a week later on a Friday night, where he picked me up after my shift. He had glanced at me before he pulled away from the curb, telling me that he had some food in the trunk already. He knew that it wasn’t a good idea to be seen out together and hurried to his house, where we pulled the food from the trunk and ate on the couch in front of a movie. It was Thai this time, and I enjoyed the noodles as I kept glancing at him.
I knew so much more about him after our chats. He was a good man, and I took another bite of my food as I looked around the room. It was cozy with a couple of couches and a great fireplace on the opposite wall from the television. “You lived here with her?”
“Yes. Claire only had an apartment, so she moved in here before we married. I thought we loved each other, but the distance just grew between us. When she admitted that she was in love with an ad exec at her office, I knew that was it. I know we’re over but right now, I want the court proceedings to go smoothly and not give her half of everything that I’ve worked for.” He looked at me. “I’m happier without her. I know that.”
“If I leave, when I leave, I won’t ask him for a thing. I just want to be free, and I’ve saved some money. I just know that I’ll lose my family as well.” I stared at the television blankly as he reached over to touch my hand.
“You’ll be okay,” Declan assured me as I stared over at him. “People die when they stay with people like that, Rayna. I don’t want that to happen to you, and I am willing to do anything to help you.” He raised an eyebrow. “You have that friend at work and other ones, I assume? They’re your family, Rayna. Family isn’t always blood.”
“I have pleased them for so long, Declan. I’ve been seeking their love my entire life and getting married was the icing on the cake. They love James for what he represents and have no idea what he does to me, but I don’t even know if they’d care. My dad might be like that, too. I don’t know.” I narrowed my eyes and tears filled my eyes. “I have been living a lie my entire life.”
Declan pulled me towards him, and I snuggled against him. Looking back, it was never like this with James. I had looked at him before I kissed him gently, closing my eyes. His lips were so warm and comforting, and I leaned in closer to him. It deepened slowly as our lips parted and our tongues met before he pulled me over his body.
All thoughts of James left my mind as the kiss grew hungry. I’d chosen a deep red dress to work tonight, and he was sliding it up to my thighs as my breath caught in my throat. His hands lit a fire along my skin as he found my lace covered pussy, stroking it as I arched my back.
We ripped our clothes off, and I slipped over him easily, taking him deep inside. I was addicted to the way that he made me feel and moaned as he gripped my ass, pulling me tighter against him as I moved hard and fast. Declan nipped at my neck, and I felt him shoot inside of me as I broke around him. Tonight, though, it was more than sex because I knew Declan. I loved our chats where we told one another things about us from separate places, making me feel like this wasn’t wrong.
Being in his arms felt right as well, but I knew the risk that came along with it. James could really do damage if he chose to since he was aware that we made a good team in the eyes of his world. By being married to me, he could merge with my father’s law firm and become even more successful. That was the plan all along, I was sure. I knew now why I was an only child. My parents weren’t in love, and I might have even been an accident, and that idea made me sad. “Why didn’t you have kids with her?” I asked as I looked at him with curiosity in my eyes.
“I wanted them, but we were only married for three years. She was career minded and so was I, running the firm. I suppose that I assumed it would happen with time, but that’s not the way that it was meant to be,” he replied as he searched my face.
“I knew that I wasn’t meant to have children with James. Everyone we know asks, but then he’ll start talking about the firm or something, and they forget.”
“Leave him, Rayna.” I was resting against him on the couch, naked and sweaty as I looked at him. “You might be surprised how freeing it is.” Declan smiled at me as he leaned in to kiss me. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
I stayed late, knowing that James probably wasn’t home. I had Declan drive me back to the car once it hit two in the morning, even though he didn’t want to. We’d slept together one more time in the night, in his bed with his body over mine as we came together again.
I drove home and crawled into an empty bed for a few hours, thinking about what Declan told me. I could leave this house and get my own apartment or something. I worked and made my own money, just more than anybody knew about. I think what held me back is the loss of family, even though I didn’t have them, to begin with. It was all an act for pictures or their precious friends when we were out in public. It was all a lie, but I wasn’t ready to be on my own just yet. I wasn’t willing to feel so lost.
I had the office and the girls that were friends. It was one of the best places to go for my days, but James was barely home anymore. I knew personally how much he saw Angela as well as a couple of the other escorts, not to mention the things that I didn’t know. I
I told him early on that I was allergic to birth control pills, so we used condoms. As much as our families pushed us to have children, I knew that we weren’t ready and he obliged with my wishes. It was the only way that I could imagine getting through sex with him, on the rare time that we did it. I used it as a distraction more than anything, since it seemed to calm him down and make him less edgy. With him home less, I didn’t have to worry about that, and this was a beautiful home. I dreamed of keeping it if we were to divorce, but it was too much for me to handle on my own. Financially, I knew that the mortgage was a lot and I didn’t need all this space.
It was one of James’ trophies, and he could have it. All I wanted was my car since it was paid off and to be honest, I liked it a lot. I’d been one of his trophies in the beginning as well, and I thought back to the time when I thought he cared for me. How wrong I was.
I rolled onto my back and considered leaving again. I thought about Declan and how much he turned me on every time that I was with him. I didn’t think that would happen with my one night of playing escort. I expected it to be awkward but it was quite sensual, and if all clients were like that, I might consider doing it again with another man. I knew first hand that rich people were assholes a lot of the time, though.
Lana and the others handled it well, but I knew that I couldn’t. Declan was different, though, and I heated up as I thought about the passion between us. We had something between us that was electric, and it kept me going back to him, even though I knew that it was wrong. I was married, even if it was just on paper. I saw the dark look in his eyes when he saw my bruises, knowing that he wanted to go after James for that. Declan just held back for now. We weren’t anything at all at this point. We just had a fling that could end at any time.
James told me that he was going away for a month for a conference with the firm a week after that. A month? I knew that there was a lot more to that, but I left it alone. I would get the house to myself and maybe get to spend more time with Declan. Maybe I could spend the night, a thought that made me smile to myself. I could also hang out with the girls.
My parents were on a European cruise for the month as well. They traveled a lot, and it was the reason I was always closer to staff when I was growing up. I knew there would be no seeing them, not that it was fun when I did.
I would just spend time with the people that seemed to care about me. That was what I needed as I walked into the office, knowing that James would be gone the following morning. He wasn’t a fan of giving me a lot of warning when it came to his plans, but it didn’t matter. I was happy that he was leaving.