Chapter Twenty-Six

Calla

I was boneless. Absolutely satiated, spent and unable to move a muscle. The man had worked my body to the point of no return. I hoped whoever came to pick me up could handle my weight, or perhaps brought a wheelchair. Moving out of this bed seemed an impossible feat.

“You’re amazing,” I whispered, not really caring if he heard the words, but feeling the need to say them.

I heard him guffaw. “You are lethal.”

I smiled. His arm was still across my chest, his crinkly arm hairs rubbing against my super-sensitive nipples. Even though the feeling was fabulous, my body did not respond. It couldn’t. He had effectively fucked me senseless. I felt like a blob, unable to move and no real desire to do so. It was too good right where we were, with his naked body draped across mine.

“Cold?” he asked, when a shiver vibrated through my body.

I laughed. “Not really. Aftershocks.”

His body shook as he chuckled. We lay there together a while longer, but despite feeling completely relaxed, my mind was spinning with the little niggle of possibility. Could I try to make this work between Jake and I? I wasn’t sure we were truly compatible, and sex wasn’t everything. It would eventually get old and then what? Neither of was all that into commitment. I liked to blame Blake, but I was just as guilty of pushing the man away. We had been playing the game of tug-o-war for far too long.

No. I couldn’t. There was nothing to make me think that’s what Jake wanted anyway. He liked my body. It didn’t mean he like the brain attached to my body. We were both too fucked up to make an actual relationship work. He lived here and I lived, well hell, I lived all over. Again, that whole commitment thing freaked me out so badly I couldn’t even really live anywhere.

You’re a hot mess, Calla. You can’t bring him into your problems when he has enough of his own.

It wasn’t long before I did feel a little chilly, but I was too relaxed to move. I could feel myself falling asleep and the pull was too strong. I let myself go, snuggling closer to his body, taking advantage of the body heat. At some point, I felt a blanket being pulled over us, but I couldn’t open my eyes. As long as I felt him next to me, I didn’t have to. We could enjoy the afterglow of some truly amazing sex.

“What are you doing?” I mumbled, feeling him pulling away from my body.

“I need to get some wood on the fire. It’s cold in here,” he said, in a low voice.

Yawning, I stretched, loving the way my body felt after the workout he had given me.

He leaned down and kissed me before pulling on his sweats and walking bare-chested out of the room. I loved to watch him move. His body was a finely tuned machine. I loved that it was due to his daily life and not the result of hours spent in the gym. He was sexy as hell and I felt very lucky to have experienced his beautiful body.

Casper appeared in the doorway. “Hey, buddy. What are you doing?” I asked.

The dog took it as an invitation and came in, jumped up on the bed and licked my face.

“Alright, alright, I’ll get up.”

I moved off the bed and got dressed once again. It felt like I spent a lot of time putting clothes back on. I made my way out to the living area and curled up on the couch, pulling the blanket over me. Jake was blowing on the embers, trying to get the fire roaring again.

“Shouldn’t have fallen asleep before putting more wood on,” he grumbled.

I smiled at the reason he had fallen asleep and thought it was sleep well deserved.

“Do you think they’ll be coming soon?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, not turning to look at me. “I don’t know. I’m guessing they’ll radio when they’re on the way.”

“Oh,” I said, a little disappointed to have it all coming to an end.

He stayed in front of the fire and for a brief moment I imagined living at the cabin with him. Our tryst, affair, or whatever it was had started out like a typical rom-com. It wasn’t funny anymore. I knew I was going to get my heart broken. The rom-com was turning into a drama—with a sad ending. The kind where you had to fight back tears and are left wondering what might have happened if the guy was different or if the girl could tell the guy how she felt.

I blinked rapidly, blinking back tears I had no business shedding. I threw the blanket off and dashed down the hall to hide in the bathroom. I couldn’t cry. I quickly shut the door and dragged in several deep breaths, trying to regain my composure.

“You knew this wasn’t meant to be,” I said, to the reflection in the mirror. “You’ll be gone soon. Enjoy what time you have left.”

I used some of the water by the toilet to wash my face. I really couldn’t wait to get back to the lodge and get a hot shower that lasted forever.

When I felt together enough, I ventured back towards the couch. Jake was in the kitchen, standing at the sink and staring out the window, and I could tell he was daydreaming. I couldn’t resist and walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head between his shoulders.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

He chuckled. “Going to cost you more than that.”

“I’m willing to pay. Are you willing to barter?”

“What do you have to barter with? You only have the clothes on your back and I don’t want those,” he asked in a husky voice.

I squeezed my arms tighter around him. “My body.”

I could feel his laughter, the sound reverberating throughout his body. “I don’t know. It’s been pretty well used today. I don’t know how much more is left.”

I laughed. “Hey! Are you saying I’m used up?”

“Never,” he quipped. “Even used and abused, I would take your body any day of the week.”

We stayed as we were. I didn’t want to let go. His bare skin against my cheek was hot. His entire body emanated heat underneath all that hardness. I was perfectly content to stay there until it was time to go.

“Thank you for telling me,” I murmured.

“Telling you?” he questioned.

“Earlier,” I clarified. “I promise I will never tell another soul.”

His body stiffened against mine. I should have kept my mouth shut. I had ruined the moment. Damn. I should have known he wouldn’t want to talk about it. Dropping my arms from around his waist, I pressed my lips against his shoulder and walked away.

He stayed at the sink while I curled up under the blanket. I waited, not wanting to push him. He was uncomfortable with me knowing, but I was glad he had told me. It meant a lot. We had both shared our secrets. If we were normal people, that would have brought us closer together, but we weren’t normal. Our dark secrets being revealed laid us bare, which made us vulnerable. I knew I didn’t like feeling so exposed, and had a sneaky feeling he was much the same way. Both of us were guarded, not wanting to let anyone get close. It wasn’t exactly a great foundation for a relationship.

“You thirsty?” he asked, snapping me out of my rather dire thoughts.

I shrugged. “Actually, water sounds really good right now. I think I’ve had all the coffee I can drink.”

He scoffed. “That’s because you make it so strong.”

“What? I do? I didn’t know. I have one of those K-cup machines. I don’t measure anything out.”

I started giggling, thinking about how horrible the coffee had been. I had thought it was cheap coffee or some kind of funky flavored coffee that had made it so bad.

“Well, I’m making myself some coffee. I’ll get you some water.”

“Can you spare it?”

“Yes, I should probably turn the generator on and run the pump to refill the containers anyway.”

He brought me a glass of lukewarm water.

“Thank you,” I said, gulping down the water. The shots of whiskey earlier had left me with a little cotton mouth.

He watched as I greedily drank the water down. “You can have more. If I’d known you wanted water, I would have gotten you some sooner. I’m not without water, Calla,” he growled.

“It’s fine. I didn’t realize I wanted water until just now. Thank you. I am going to get more though. I feel very parched,” I said, standing to refill my glass.

He snatched it out of my hand. “I’ll get it.”

I realized I was thirsty not only because of the whiskey, but the sex. I needed to hydrate. When he brought me the glass back, I was grinning like a fool.

“What?” he asked.

“I was just thinking about why I’m so thirsty.”

“Why?”

“Let’s just say I need to replenish my fluids,” I winked.

I saw the instant he realized what I was referring to, and I swear he blushed before turning back to the kitchen to put the coffee on. I had to laugh at his sudden discomfort. The man had just had his tongue jammed inside me, yet that made him blush? Go figure.

I was content to sit back and watch him putter around his house. It all felt very homey. Casper hopped on the couch and curled up next to me, his big nose resting on my lap. I rubbed his ears and laughed when I heard him groan in supreme happiness.

“Traitor,” Jake said, from the kitchen, looking at the dog with fake disgust.

“He’s comfortable.”

“I guess so.”

I watched as he poured the coffee into a thermos before he disappeared back into his bedroom. I was mildly curious to know what he was doing, but figured he would tell me soon enough. When he came back wearing jeans and what I could tell were layers of clothing on top, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

He was going outside again. I was only a little disappointed that he wasn’t going to snuggle with me on the couch. I watched him gather his things. This time was different. It was more than going outside to chop wood or shovel snow.

“Are you leaving?” I asked, a little panicked at the thought of being left alone in the cabin.

He nodded, “I need to check on Gabe. He didn’t answer me on the radio earlier.”

“Is that normal?” I asked, suddenly worried for his friend.

He shrugged, “He could have been outside chopping wood or using his outhouse, but I need to check to be sure. It’s what we do.”

I nodded my head. “Will you be back before the search guys come get me?” I asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

“I don’t know.”

“Oh,” I replied, a little taken aback by his abrupt departure. “Well, I—uh, I guess if they show up before you get back, thanks for everything. It was fun,” I added, feeling a little ridiculous thanking the man for sex.

He looked at me and I could tell he wanted to say something, but the words never came. There was a brief nod, as if to say goodbye, and then he was walking towards the door.

My earlier comparison of my life to a television drama was realized in that moment. This was how it ended for us. Exit stage left.