Chapter Twenty-Five

Jake

My mind is fucked. That’s all there is to it. I had managed to ruin something that had been very good. I knew it wasn’t meant to last, but I could have kept my mouth shut and allowed us to both walk away with no hard feelings. The last day had been closure. After that one night all those years ago, I had always felt as if we weren’t done. As if we had cut our time short when we both wanted just a little more. We got it. Now, that sweet goodbye would be forever tarnished.

“I’m a bad bet anyway,” I said standing from the table.

“What?” she asked, completely confused by my statement.

I shrugged. “It’s better you’re pissed at me. I’m no good for you. For anyone, really, which is why I live out here in the sticks. I would have made a horrible father and an even worse husband, boyfriend or baby daddy.”

She sighed. “I’m not pissed. Okay, I am, but I am pissed because you were pissed at me.”

I nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. I needed to explain myself. I had never really told anyone all of it, but I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know me, the real me. I slid back into the chair, leaving the dishes on the counter.

“I had pretty shitty parents. My mom left when I was really young, maybe five or so. My dad was an abusive drunk and she left me with him. Thankfully, he died when I was fifteen. I managed to elude the system and stayed out of foster care, but that meant I was on my own. I never got lectured about my choices. I was on my own and went down a bad road. It wasn’t until I met a recruiter for the Army that I saw a way out of the life I had fallen into.”

I could see sadness in her eyes, but thankfully, there was no pity. I was tired of being pitied. I didn’t want pity.

“You joined the Army,” she nodded in understanding.

“Yes. I joined the Army and everything kind of cleared up for me. I could see a future for myself. One where I didn’t have to live on the streets or land in prison. There was a way out of the life I had been convinced I was destined to live.”

She seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say which encouraged me to keep talking.

“I thought the Army was the answer, and in many ways, it was, but it also made things worse. The war. The death. It was pretty bad. I try to block it out most of the time, but it always shows up in my dreams. Nightmares, I guess.”

“The nightmare last night,” she said in a low voice.

I nodded. “Yes. It’s been a while since I had one. The Army sent me to a therapist. I thought all of that was behind me, but I guess not. I know I’m damaged goods. It’s why I live out here. I don’t want to be around anybody. I don’t want to be one of those guys who snaps. I’m not fit to live in society and to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to. I don’t do commitments or long-term relationships. I can’t do that to anyone. I’m not good at it and I don’t know how to be a boyfriend or anything like that. Like I said, I’m a bad bet, and just not meant for the whole married with kids and the picket fence in the suburbs.”

There was a faint smile on her lips when I looked up to judge her reaction. It gave me some small comfort. It was as if she understood me and was completely okay with me and my fucked-up head.

“Okay,” she said.

The one word was enough. She didn’t need to explain herself. I got it. She had issues, I had issues, but none of it mattered. I looked at her and realized that despite everything, I wanted her more than I had thought possible. Maybe it was the baring of my soul. I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I needed her.

I stood, grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall. She didn’t resist in the slightest. She followed behind me and when I walked into my bedroom, she willingly followed.

I turned to face her. “I want you.”

She stared into my eyes. “I want you.”

We stood, looking at each other for long, drawn-out seconds before I stepped closer to her. I wanted to take my time, to make our last time together meaningful. I reached out and cupped her face in my hand before I lowered my mouth to hers, gently kissing her lips. I kept the kiss light, no tongue, as I pressed my body against hers. I committed the feeling of her breasts pushed against my chest to memory. I could feel her thick thighs pressing into mine.

I ran a hand down each side of her, taking in all her curves before moving around to cup her butt.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered close to her ear before I nuzzled her neck. “Every curve, every inch of your body makes me crazy. I can’t get enough of you.”

I heard her gasp as my mouth closed over her neck. I gently suckled before moving a fraction of an inch and repeating the process.

“All I can think about is getting you naked and burying myself deep inside you,” I whispered, hovering over her mouth.

She nodded, “Me too.”

I moved my mouth to the other side of her neck, covering her in sweet kisses. I could feel her shaking and knew she was ripe with need.

“I’m going to go slow, this time.”

She whimpered, “I can’t wait, please Jake.”

I shook my head. “No. I want to taste all of you. I want to make you crazy with need. You have to promise me something.”

“What?” she moaned, as I began to slowly pull her shirt up over her breasts, exposing the bra.

“You can’t cum until I say you can.”

“Jake! I can’t possibly promise that. I’m on the verge right now. You make me so hot and so wet, I can’t stop myself.”

I grinned, kissed her quickly on the lips and pulled her shirt off. “I make you horny?”

“Yes! Don’t tease me. I don’t have the self-control to hold back.”

I ground my hips against hers, letting her feel my hard cock. Her head dropped back as her mouth opened.

“You want me to fuck you, Calla?” I whispered into her mouth.

She groaned and licked her lips. “Don’t tease me.”

“What do you want, Calla?”

“You. I want you. Stop playing with me,” she demanded.

“Baby, I haven’t even begun,” I said, before plunging my tongue into her mouth.

I removed her bra and stepped away to pull down her pants. I kissed the fabric covering her pussy before I pulled the panties down. She stood there in the stark daylight, her body shivering with need. I let my eyes drink in the sight of her. She let me, not embarrassed or ashamed.

“Lay on the bed,” I told her, pulling off my own clothes.

She nodded and quickly crawled on the bed, her head propped up on the pillows. She looked like a goddess lying there completely nude.

“Show me what you want,” I commanded.

She hesitated a brief second before she used her hands to massage her breasts.

“That’s all you want? You want me to rub your tits?” I asked a little harshly.

“No.”

“Show me.”

I eagerly watched as she ran both hands down her stomach, one hand moved between her legs. I nodded my head, encouraged her to keep going. The hand moved over her pussy, but her legs were still closed.

I stepped close to the bed and pulled one leg, opening her to my view. Her hand shielded her pussy.

“Like this?” I asked, moving her hand out of the way and mimicking her own movement.

She arched her hips, pushing against my hand.

“What do you want? I want to please you.” I grabbed my cock in my hand and began to stroke it. Her eyes widened as she watched me rub myself.

“I want your cock inside me,” she breathed out, putting her hand over mine and covering her core.

I pulled my hand out from under hers, still stroking my dick while anxiously waiting for her to move.

“Like this,” she breathed out, opening her legs a bit wider and pushing one finger inside herself. My cock jerked in my hands, the first bead of moisture pooling at the head. I reached out, pushed my finger inside her, keeping her hand in place so she couldn’t pull her own out.

“Like this,” I repeated her words.

I watched her body stiffen and knew she was about to cum. “Not yet, Calla. I haven’t given you permission.”

“Jake,” she moaned, wiggling her hand to pull out.

I stroked my cock in time with my finger stroking inside her. Her gaze was focused on my dick, I turned mine to her tight, wet pussy clenching around our fingers.

“Two,” I ordered.

Her head thrashed on the pillow. “I’ll cum. I won’t be able to stop. I’m so close,” she cried out.

“Two,” I repeated.

I moved my hand away from hers and watched as she squeezed in a second finger. I stopped stroking my dick and squeezed it, stopping my own orgasm. Watching her writhe on the bed was nearly my undoing. I carefully, gently pushed in my second finger. She nearly came off the bed, screaming out in what I could see was a mixture of pain and pleasure.

“That’s it, baby. Squeeze my fingers. Cum, Calla. I want to feel your juices surrounding our fingers deep inside you.”

Her body bucked up, swallowing our fingers deeper.

“Fuck! Fuck me, God that’s so hot,” she cried out, her body clenching around me, her toes pointed straight out as the orgasm rocked over her. I watched her teeth clench and sweat cover her body as she came hard and fast.

“Oh yeah,” I murmured. “That’s my girl.”

She pulled her fingers out, but I wasn’t close to being done. I dropped my dick and crawled on the bed between her legs. I couldn’t resist lapping up that sweet pussy juice. I closed my mouth over her lips, gently kissing while my two fingers worked inside her. I could feel her spiraling up as I lavished her pussy with the undivided attention of my tongue. I sucked on her little hard bud and pulled a second orgasm from her.

“Jesus, I’m going to melt into this bed,” she moaned. “I’m boneless. I can’t possibly do it again.”

Smiling, I said, “Wanna bet?” Then blazed a trail of kisses down the inside of her thigh.

I touched every inch of her body with my tongue and teeth. I could feel her quaking and knew she was ready for another orgasmic release. I covered her body with my own, propping up on my elbows before slowly sliding in.

She moaned low in her throat as I pushed myself all the way in. “Oh God, I’m, I’m,” she groaned long and low as her body convulsed under mine with another climax.

I had hoped to hold out, but her pussy was too tight. The little muscles contracting around my dick were too much.

Pushing in higher, I found my own release, pumping into her with wild abandon. I collapsed on top of her, resting several seconds before rolling to the side. I was spent. The woman could make me insanely angry and wildly horny in the same breath. I would die if she stayed here another day. I had no control over my body. I wanted to fuck her every minute of the day and I had a feeling she would let me. We would die of exhaustion.

I smiled thinking of death by sex. If I was going to go, being buried deep inside her seemed like a good way to do it. I would die a very happy man.