Brie helps me pack for our trip. I don’t know how long we will be going for so I need to bring at least a week’s worth of stuff. I feel sick again from walking around for so long, so I lie down on the couch to calm down while she continues to pack.

“Are you sure you want to come with me?” I ask. “You really don’t have to.”

“Eh, what else am I doing, right?”

“I know, but I just feel like my life is dominating yours right now.”

“You’re going through a lot, El. I want to be here for you. But if you don’t want me to, I totally understand.”

“Oh, no, that’s not what I mean. Not at all,” I say. I hate to admit it, but I need her help. I get dizzy and queasy all the time and I’m not sure I can make it there without her.

“I just want you to know that I really appreciate everything that you’re doing for me,” I add.

Looking through the app, I book a hotel within walking distance to the hospital. Nothing fancy, very practical, and it still comes up to over $250 a night. Oh, well, I guess that’s Boston for you.

An hour later, we are finally ready to go. Brie pulls the car around to pick me up. We debated whether we should drive or fly, eventually settling on driving in case we need a car there to get around. It’s only three hours and forty-five minutes away.

After making four stops, so that I could throw up and take a rest from riding in the car, we finally arrive there, five hours later. Flurries are already starting to fall and the city is bracing itself for a big storm.

The streets are empty. The few people that I do spot are half-jogging home, pulling their coats closed. Brie parks the car. We leave our bags in the parking lot. I head to the fifth floor where Dr. Duhaine and Dr. Chapman’s offices are. At the nurses’ station, I ask about him. They give me a blank stare, and then say they have to make a call first. Shit. After all of this, they aren’t going to let me get in, are they? I wait patiently. I don’t want to make a scene.

“Ellie?” A familiar voice sends shivers up my spine. I know that it’s Arlene without even turning around.

“Hi, Arlene,” I say.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see Aiden.”

She nods and crosses her arms. I’m debating whether or not I should call her on what she did. But before I can stop myself, I say, “Why did you transfer Aiden here?”

Keep your mouth shut, I say to myself. You don’t want to make this worse. You want to see Aiden, don’t you?

“Why didn’t you tell me where you were taking him?” I say instead.

“It was a spur of the moment decision. And I didn’t even know your phone number.”

“Okay,” I say. That’s a lie, obviously, but whatever. I’m going to let it go.

“How is he doing?” I ask.

“He’s fine. He has good care here. Plus, my apartment is not too far from here.”

Of course, as if that’s the only thing that matters.

“Can I see him?”

She looks down at the floor and then at me. Finally, she exhales and says, “Why not.”

I follow her to the last room at the end of the hallway. I run over to him as soon as I open the door. He looks about the same as he did before. Pale. Tired. Alone. But just as beautiful as always.

“I’m here, sweetie,” I whisper. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

I give his hand a squeeze. His fingers move a little, pressing into my palm. My heart skips a beat. I focus on his fingers.

“Please, move again. Oh, Aiden, please,” I whisper. But he doesn’t move again. That must’ve been one of those involuntary movements they told me about.

“Visiting hours are almost over,” Arlene says in the doorway.

“I’m his fiancée. I will be spending the night,” I say. The tone of my voice means business. Serious. Determined. After everything that she has done, she’s not kicking me out now.

Much to my surprise, Arlene doesn’t argue.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she says and closes the door.

“Oh, wow,” I smile, kissing the top of Aiden’s hand. “Really? Did your mom really just leave? I can’t believe it!”

I lean over and press my lips to his. They are dry. Chapped. I take out some lip gloss and moisturize them for him. When they catch the light, they are back to being the beautiful luscious lips that I fell in love with.

Where are you? Brie texts me.

I text her with directions to the room and return my attention to Aiden. It feels odd to just sit here and stare at him, so I decide that the only way to make this feel normal is to just talk to him just like I would if he could hear me.