Everything is supposed to be okay. Blake is gone and I’m okay. Badly shaken and somewhat hurt, but not really with any scars that will last too long. And yet, everything is wrong. Aiden is here, alive, but not really. I see him lying in the hospital bed and he’s not really present. He’s breathing. It looks like he’s sleeping, but he is far away from me. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong. They have put him into a medically-induced coma. They are debating as to when they should take him out. The older doctor thinks that the sooner they take him out, the better. The younger ones aren’t so sure. They think his body needs time to rest. Recover. None of them know what he will be like when they eventually take him out. I can see fear in their eyes. They aren’t saying it, but they are huddling around, whispering. They don’t want to tell me the truth. My heart is sinking. I wait and wait and as more and more time passes, the less hope I have.

“Everything’s going to be okay now, honey,” I whisper with tears running down my face. I’m holding his hand. I can feel him here with me. His body is frail. His face is alabaster white. His long eyelashes and hair have lost their luster. His skin is dry in patches and I apply moisturizer, but it doesn’t do much. The harshness of the hospital lights makes everything worse. More bleak.

I tell Aiden that everything’s going to be okay over and over again until I believe it myself.

“Ellie.” Brie comes over and puts her hand on mine. I look up at her.

“You’ve been sitting here all day. Maybe you should get out. Get some fresh air.”

I shrug. Maybe, but that’s not exactly what I want to do. I shake my head.

“No, I can’t. I want to stay here. With him.”

“I know you do, but he’s…asleep.”

That’s an unusual turn of phrase. Neither of us wants to say that Aiden is in a coma. It sounds so medical. So surreal. Unreal. Like something that only happens in fictional stories. This is real life. Real people don’t go into comas, right? They aren’t put into comas, right? Wrong. Of course.

I look at Aiden. He looks tired and worn out and asleep. But then…a movement!

“Oh my God!” I say, grabbing Brie’s hand. “Oh my God! He’s moving!”

I press the call button on his bed. “He’s moving, Brie! He’s moving!”

Brie leans over me. We both watch his face. His eyes are moving under his eyelids. His fingers give mine a squeeze. One squeeze. Then another and another.

“Aiden, Aiden. Can you hear me?” I whisper, wiping the tears running down the outside of my cheek.

“You’re going to be okay, honey. I’m here for you.” I press the call button over and over again. “Where’s the nurse? Why isn’t she coming?”

“I’m going to go find one,” Brie says, running out of the room. When she returns a few minutes later, she brings not only the nurse, but also two students and one of Aiden’s younger doctors. Dr. Briggs.

I move out of the way as they hover around Aiden’s bed. They take his vitals and check the equipment.

“What’s happening?” I ask eagerly. My heartbeat is going so fast, it feels like my heart is about to burst out of my chest. I clench my fists in anticipation. The jagged edges of my nails dig into the palms of my hands.

“I’m sorry, Ellie,” Dr. Briggs says after a moment with a sullen expression on her face. She’s not meeting my gaze, casting her eyes at the floor instead. “What you saw there is something that is pretty common in coma patients. They look like they’re waking up, but in fact it’s just an involuntary reaction. They are alive and their neurons are just firing, making them have these movements.”

“No, no, no.” I shake my head. More tears flow down my face, only these are tears of anger and sadness instead of hope. Brie wraps her arms around me. Dr. Briggs continues to talk, to explain more and more about Aiden’s condition. But she’s not so much talking to me as to the nurse and the students. I can’t bear to listen. I bury my head in Brie’s arms and cry.

When I finally come up for air, everyone is gone. It’s just Brie, Aiden, and me once again.

“I’m going to get some coffee,” she says. “Are you going to be okay?”

I nod and ask her to bring me a cup of hot tea.

“I love you, Aiden,” I say when we are all alone. “I’m going to be here no matter what. Until you come out of this coma.”

His eyelids move again, giving me only a glimmer of hope. At least, he’s still alive. At least, he’s still there.

“Come back to me, Aiden,” I whisper. “Come back to me.”

***

Hours pass and darkness falls. I don’t even bother looking at the time anymore. Brie goes home, but I stay. I pull the chair closer to Aiden’s bed and recline. It technically unfolds into something resembling a couch, but I don’t have the energy to deal with it. Instead, I curl up and watch something stupid on my phone. When my eyes grow tired, I put on an audiobook. Outlander. The narrator’s soothing voice with the beautiful English accent lulls me into a state of serenity. The faraway land with all of its foreign conventions and old fashioned traditions allows me to drift away, escape from reality.

I see him. His cocky grin. His unforgiving eyes. He’s trying to grab for my knife. He’s overpowering me. He’s stronger than I am; I feel my life slipping away. Everything flashes before my eyes. My parents playing with me in a baby pool. Walking down the aisle at my mom’s wedding. Visiting my dad at his house and watching game shows silently in the dark. Standing before everyone at the auction. Feeling Aiden’s gaze on me. Feeling his warm body next to mine. Watching him reach the heights of ecstasy as he plunges deep inside of me. Then, there’s Blake again. He’s on top of me, overpowering me. I kick his gun away. He slams my hand onto the counter. Shooting pains run up and down my arm. And then, he wraps his strong hands around my neck. Choking me. I can’t breathe. My arms flail around, looking for a way out. Darkness is descending and all I see is Aiden before me, asking me to marry him.

No, no, no, I hear myself yelling. Light is disappearing around me, but I have to fight on. I have to prevail. My breaths are becoming more arduous. I keep trying to inhale but no air gets in. I’m wheezing as Blake’s hands get a firmer grip around my throat. My eyes start to feel like they’re about to bulge out of my head. Everything starts to feel fuzzy and far away. My life is slowly draining out of me. But my fingers continue their search. There has to be a way out of this. Finally, I stumble upon a possibility. Something smooth, but hard, also long. I wrap the fingers of my right hand firmly around the object and, with one swift motion, bring it up to his face. I plunge it into his neck. Warm blood rushes out, covering my face. And finally, his strong grip around my neck relaxes. But I don’t give up. I don’t have another chance. I wrap my fingers even tighter around the object. It’s slippery now and I feel like I’m about to lose it. This time around, I plunge it even deeper. Blood splatters everywhere and he falls to the floor. Gasping for breath, I wake up.