This night went so much better than expected. I couldn’t imagine I had summoned enough courage to talk to Tom, and even more surprised that I told him off. I wasn’t the same woman anymore. I felt a bit carefree, like I was in control of my own destiny. I looked out from the windows. The night painted an illuminous portrait of the moon. The water looked like diamonds sparkling in waves, reflecting the stars and basking in the glow of the moon. So much of me wanted to jump in that ocean. Half of me wanted to confess about the lie, and the other half didn’t care if I got caught. One thing was for sure, I was going to let that cool water soak into my skin before I went back to reality.

Grant sipped his last drink of the night. I had passed on having another, I was already past the point I thought I would get to. The ice clinked on the edge of his glass as he put his pink lips on the edge. My stomach felt warm, and I didn’t regret a single moment of the night. Part of me was glad I was forced to come. So much of the reservation was a fear or rejection, of being rejected again. As I looked at Grant I already reminisced about the great night we had had.

Jazz music was playing softly in the background and I swayed to it slowly. I wanted to dance. I felt like dancing. I knew I could. I could just take Grant’s hand, head to the dimly lit floor and sway with him, his strong hands on my hips and his torso pressed against mine. I could smell his cologne from where I was sitting. I imagined how amazing it would smell even closer. I wanted to dance. I wanted to swim. I wanted to feel alive. I did feel alive. I wanted this feeling to last for the rest of my life, if not just the rest of this night.

“What a fantastic song.” Grant said, swaying slightly with me. He put his arm around my shoulders, matching my rhythm, swaying to the bass’ metronome. With the alcohol and romance in the air, I felt light, like I could float up through the ceiling. I no longer felt weighted by my pound gains or my car wreck. I didn’t mind Tom, although he was staring and doing an awful job at making it subtle. I didn’t feel so burdened by my debt and loans to pay off. I wasn’t thinking about starting a career. I was only thinking about how wonderful the saxophone paired with the piano and bass, playing in harmony.

“It really is.”

“They should play this at our wedding.” Grant teased. I lightly slapped his leg and smiled. I knew he was kidding. He was either making an excellent performance, or he was toying with my emotions. He could give Meryl Streep a run for her money.

I saw my mom staring, too. She sat on the other side of the room, having to act as an invisible podium for my tipsy father and Mr. Middleton’s hottest debate topic of the night. She looked unhappy. The look on her face was almost enough of an excuse to her horrible remarks at me. Almost. I could forgive her, but the emotional damage that had once pierced my soul created more problems that hadn’t had to have been there. Was this dull life of hers the root of her bitter attitude?

Being able to look at her and see her that sad helped me learn to be less angry with her. I think in the future I could see where she was coming from and understand the situation better. Now I knew why she had so much hatred for Ms. Middleton. She found her to be competition. She was probably relieved when our wedding was called off, since she wouldn’t have to try to get us to like her better than my other mother-in-law. My mom was very sad. I didn’t like thinking about her this way, but I saw it in her eyes. At the same time, she does it to herself. This is a vicious spiral that she keeps herself in. I wasn’t going to be like that anymore.

Grant ordered a glass of champagne and I turned my head to look at him. “I just wanted to enjoy this perfect moment with the perfect drink.” The bartender brought over a fine crystal glass, and I ordered a second one. I could probably handle just one more drink. “A toast to a lovely couple.” He remarked, clinking his glass next to my glass.

I took a sip, and the sweet taste sent a rush to my head. All the small bubbles sparked in my mouth. As I looked at the diamond encrusted waves, I felt like I was drinking the liquid star shine that reflected in the perfect water.

“I have something to tell you, Grant.”

He looked at me, with a cool but somewhat concerned expression. “What is it?”

“I don’t have a skin condition. I can swim just fine. I just didn’t feel like surfing on a first date.”

He laughed and nodded. “I thought you were going to say you had cancer or something. I’m glad to know it’s the opposite.” The music danced around us in the air for a moment. “In that case, we are going to have to take a dip in that water.”

I looked at his eyes. They were so soft. He looked back at mine. Little by little we leaned into each other’s gaze. I lost all the air in me. I closed my eyes. His lips were soft and warm, parting mine. The kiss didn’t last very long, but it felt like an eternity. He tasted like champagne. I felt my heart flutter. I wanted to kiss more. When I opened my eyes, I looked around to make sure no one saw. My mother and Tom were both staring because of course they were.

It felt wrong, but also so perfect and so right. He put a hand on my knee and the shock woke me back up. It was all a lie. He was just acting. This was part of the job. This was what I paid him for. I felt disappointed. His face looked so sincere. Maybe he was sincere?

No, it couldn’t have been. I wasn’t going to fall for him. He had to act as the date of other women several times. He had this down to a fine art. It was all just a play and I was his stage.

Oscar for the best kiss goes to Grant and April in “Weekend at Tom’s Wedding”.

He grabbed my hand and kissed that too. “We better say goodbye to everyone before we go back to our room.” I was still in a state of shock so all I could do was nod and follow his lead. I wasn’t nearly as experienced as he was, and I wanted his charm to rub off on me. Maybe at least the alcohol would help.

We conquered our goodbyes, talking to hopefully everyone that we had to. We held hands, said what a lovely evening it was, and asked all the right questions without lingering too long. I didn’t mind being the dog on his leash for social interactions. It was easier for me this way.

I felt my lips over and over with my fingers as we went to the elevators. I wanted more, but knew that I couldn’t accept it.