Artimus
One full year had passed. Julia and I were back at the same cabin in Wyoming we had been staying in when we decided to get pregnant.
She wanted a home birth in the place she felt the most at home in, even though it wasn’t any of our homes at all.
Julia had told me she felt a kinship with the cabin and the area. She and I had been through classes so that I could deliver the baby. The idea was a bit scary to me, but it didn’t seem to be that way for Julia at all.
“I’m glad we came up here with a week to spare before the baby comes, Artimus.” Julia walked through the snow, heading back to the cabin. She’d wanted to take a short walk that afternoon, and I had thought it would be okay.
I’d become very protective of her and the baby since the moment we’d found out we were pregnant. I’d made her do the traditional thing of going to a doctor to make sure she and the baby were healthy. We had opted out of knowing the sex of our first baby. That would be a complete surprise to us.
Julia had no idea of how many precautions I’d taken to make sure she and the baby were within reach of medical attention, even way out in the wilderness of Wyoming. A helicopter was on standby at St. John’s Hospital in Jackson Hole, which was only about thirty minutes away by car. By helicopter, it was ten minutes, so I wanted the fastest way possible.
We both wanted to have a natural experience with this baby. She, a bit more than me. She didn’t want a backup plan. Julia had faith that everything would be okay.
I had faith that everything would be okay too. And that meant having a backup plan.
We came up to the back of the house and went inside to get rid of the heavy coats and boots we had to put on to take the short walk. “Some hot chocolate would sure hit the spot, babe.” Julia winked at me as she rubbed her round belly. “Junior seems to want some. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
I had never known how to make a damn thing until I got with Julia. She had me in the kitchen every chance she got, telling me that I had to have some skills in the kitchen. In her opinion, everyone needed to know how to make a few things or how would they survive if something terrible happened?
I didn’t know how she’d gotten thoughts I had never had to settle into my brain, but she had.
Pulling out a pot to warm the milk in, I watched her waddle to the fridge to get the jug of milk. “FYI, I’ve been having contractions, Artimus.”
I stopped and stared at her tummy. “How many and how far apart?”
“Only twenty.” She put the milk on the counter. “And about every fifteen to twenty minutes. Nothing serious yet.”
If it wasn’t serious then how come nerves bubbled up in me right away?
And just as that happened, a wolf howled outside. Julia smiled and went to the window. “That’s a good sign.”
“I don’t see how you think that’s a good sign, baby. Our little bundle of joy isn’t due for another week. You know that.”
She turned to look at me with a smile on her pretty face. “Artimus, the doctor told us that one week early or one week late would be normal. There’s nothing to worry about. And now that my wolf has come back around, I know everything will be perfectly fine.”
I felt like she was too cool, too confident, too sure that nothing could go wrong.
I didn’t like it.
The whole pregnancy she’d been that way, complacently taking for granted that nothing could go wrong as long as we both had faith.
Why can’t I have that kind of faith?
Where she and I were concerned, I had the same faith she did, in spades. Then we’d gotten pregnant and all kinds of fears had begun to settle into my brain.
I hadn’t shared my what if’s with my wife, mainly because she would just poo-poo them.
But now we were on the cusp of becoming real parents. Parents who were bringing their first baby into the world all alone.
What the hell were we thinking?
Julia took my attention as she reached over and held onto the dining table. Her hand lay on her belly as she breathed nice and slow. And I counted the seconds that the obvious contraction lasted. One-thousand-one, 1002, 1003, 1004, 1005.
She let go of the table as she looked at me. “That one was a little more intense.” Looking at the milk that I had yet to pour into the pot, she said, “Better not eat or drink anything. The classes said that I might throw up if I have too much in my stomach when labor sets in.”
So this was it. Julia knew her body well. And now I had to get ready to help our child enter this world.
I’m not ready!