Chapter Seventeen
Nina
Saturday morning, I woke up with a hangover and decided to go right back to sleep. I slept that day away, and then later that night, Sandy tried in vain to get me to go out again. I wasn’t about to do a repeat of Friday night. “No way.”
“Come on, Nina. You had fun last night. Admit it, already.” She tossed a glossy black pump onto my bed, which I was still lying in. “You can borrow these, if you want to.”
“Why would I do that? My feet still hurt from the pair of heels I borrowed from you last night.” I sat up to pull one of my feet up so that I could massage it. “Besides, Ty and I left on good terms at the end of the night. If I go out again and he’s there—”
“He will be. He’s coming with Sloan and me again,” she interrupted me. “And he said he really hoped you would come along too. He likes you, you know.”
“He’s a good guy.” I had to give him that. He hadn’t put any pressure on me at all. But I didn’t want to hang out with anyone or go out. I just didn’t feel up to it. “But I’m out for tonight. We’ll see what next weekend brings.”
Sandy gave me puppy dog eyes. “He’s going to be disappointed.”
“Well, he better get used to it where I’m concerned. He may as well get that out of the way now.” I knew Ty would take all the slack I gave him. I didn’t want to lead the man on, though.
Eventually Sandy left me alone, and I started reading a book. It was a real page-turner about an ex-Marine who had found a lost love. One who had secretly had his baby a few years back. The poor guy had PTSD and it made for a really hard time in making his newly found family work.
I stayed up till three in the morning to finish the book, but it was worth it. When I put my Kindle away, I thought about the story I had read. Ashton kind of had the same kind of problem as the main character. He’d had a tragedy in his life that had altered him.
The anger he’d shown hadn’t made any sense to me before, but I thought I was coming to understand it a bit more.
He and I had gotten along great that weekend. It must have done something to trigger him in some way. I was sure something had to have sprung forward in his mind that had him wanting to stay away from me.
What I couldn’t understand was why he didn’t think he could talk to me about it. He and I had been friends too long for him to just turn away from me. First and foremost, I was his friend. He knew that.
When sleep finally found me, I dreamt about a car wreck. It wasn’t apparent who was involved. It was as if I was watching from above. Like in a helicopter or something.
People were rushing everywhere as a car burned. Sirens wailed, police cars and ambulances showed up. In the end, one lone figure slumped against a police car. The pain and anguish reached me through the dream, and I woke up crying.
The sun was shining through the window, letting me know it had only been a dream. But that pain and misery were still working on me. It felt terrible.
A hot shower helped me get rid of the lingering memory of the dream. I made some breakfast. Bagels and cream cheese with a glass of apple juice to start my day.
Grabbing my laundry, I got busy taking care of the mundane, typical Sunday chores. Cleaning my bedroom, washing the laundry, then sprucing up the living room and kitchen made the day go by fast.
With nothing else to do after dinner, I looked for a new book to read on my Kindle. A knock at the door stole my attention away from the device, however. “Now who could that be?”
It was about seven in the evening. I hadn’t expected anyone to be coming over. Both of my roommates were out too, so no one would be coming to see them.
Putting down the Kindle, I went to answer the door. Looking out the peephole, I saw a face that made me smile before I could stop myself and remember all the reasons why I shouldn’t be smiling at him.
I opened the door, and a huge bouquet of red roses filled my sight. “It’s me. The jackass. I’ve come to beg for your forgiveness.” The flowers lowered, and there was Ashton’s handsome face. “Can you ever forgive me, Nina?”
I stepped back to allow him to come in. “Maybe. Care to plead your case?”
He came in and placed a kiss on my cheek as he passed me. “I will explain it all to you.” Putting the vase of flowers on the coffee table, he pulled a box of chocolates out of his jacket and placed them next to it. “I thought candy might help too.”
“It never hurts.” I took a seat and grabbed the box to see what kind of candy it had in it. “Yes, I love the kind with lots of nuts. You did good, Ashton.”
He took a seat on the chair across from me. “Glad to hear that. After a week of doing terribly, hearing that I’m doing well is a relief.”
As I unwrapped a peanut cluster, I eyed him. He looked a little different to me. “So, what happened to you?” I was pretty glad I’d read that book the night before. It had turned a lot of my anger into empathy, though I was still ready to hear him grovel a little for my forgiveness.
His blue eyes cut away from me. I knew he was kind of embarrassed by the way he’d acted. “Nina, I wanted to be away from you because I was blaming you for something.”
“Did I do something I wasn’t aware of?” I asked him, then popped the chocolate into my mouth.
He nodded, making me raise my eyebrow. I couldn’t think of what the heck I might’ve done. “You see, I really like you.”
“Okay. That’s not a bad thing.” I picked up my bottle of water off the table. “You want something to drink? I’ve got water, and I think I’ve got beer in there too.”
“No,” he said as he shook his head. “I’m okay. I just want to get this off my chest.”
“Sure. Go ahead.” I waited to hear what he had to say.
The way he hesitated told me he was finding it hard to start, but he finally did. “I had a lot of fun last weekend with you. And all that fun made me forget a day that’s been the most important day in my life for a few years now. I was reminded finally of what day it was when the guys and I went to the pub while you girls were shopping. Sunday was the anniversary of Natalia’s death.”
Now I understood completely. My hand flew to my cover my mouth, empathizing with the pain and confusion he must’ve felt. “Oh, God.”
He got up and came to sit next to me. His hand on my shoulder sent chills through me. “Nina, I got mad at you because being with you made me forget everything else. It was wrong of me to act that way toward you, and it was wrong of me to put that blame on you. You see, I used to dream about her. Now I only dream about you.”
My heart leapt with the news. But it also ached because I knew he wasn’t wholly pleased by it—I knew the dreams were part of his grief and remembrance for his fiancée. “Ashton, I’m sorry you’re hurt by that.”
His eyes crept up to meet mine, and I saw so much more in them than I had before. “I’m sure you are. I’m getting help now. I’m seeing a therapist. I’m not ready for romance, but I really need my friend back. Do you think you can be my friend again, Nina?”
I was about to cry. The tears were welling up in my eyes. All I could do was reach out and hug him. “I can be your friend, Ashton. I can always be that for you.”
We hugged for a minute, holding each other tight. The attraction was still there, but I wanted him to feel my concern for him more than I wanted him to feel my hunger.
“Thank you, Nina. I really am sorry for how I treated you this last week.” He pulled back and took my chin in his hand. “I was just afraid, is all.”
“Afraid of me taking Natalia’s place.” I nodded. “I want you to know that I’ll never be the kind of person who’d want to replace her like that. I’m not jealous of her. And I never will be.” I hoped that what I was saying would always be true. I never wanted to make him feel bad about having love for another woman. Not when she wasn’t around anymore to even be worried about.
The most important thing was that we had our friendship back.