August
The beer flowed, the women were flirting with us, and my team and I were eating it up. We’d just come off a big victory and had earned a little rest and relaxations time from our commander.
Pacman was into some fake blonde chick who sat on his lap. Link had some brunette up against the wall near the pool table. Cloud was talking intensely with a short, chubby girl with glasses who seemed to be interested in what he was saying. And Sonic was walking toward me with a tall, skinny blonde on one side of him and a tall, slender redhead on the other side of him.
He took a seat at the table I was sitting alone at. Leaning in, he whispered, “Dibs on the blonde. You get the redhead. You’re always talking about that one you left behind.”
Giving the girl the once-over, I already knew she wasn’t going to do it for me. “Hi, I’m Crash.”
“Nancy,” she said as she placed her mug of beer on the table. “Your friend tells me you fancy us redheads.”
“I fancy one.” I took a long drink of my beer. The poor girl would be very disappointed if she spent too much time on me.
It wasn’t that I had never messed around after Tawny; I had. But somehow, when a woman with red hair came my way, I found myself comparing her to Tawny so much so that it would spoil it for me.
Leaning up, the girl flashed her ample cleavage at me. “I bet I can get you to fancy one more, soldier.”
A weak smile had me looking directly at her tits. But then my eyes moved up to meet hers. Hers were pale green, and she had on so much makeup that you couldn’t tell if she had the cute smattering of freckles across her nose that Tawny did or not.
“Sweetheart, don’t waste your time on me. The girl I left behind has been placed on a pedestal in my head. No one can beat her, I’m afraid. She’s perfect.”
Her sultry expression changed to one of anger. “And I’m not?”
She was okay. But she wasn’t Tawny. No one was. “I’m not saying that. Look, just move along, honey. I really don’t want you to think anything is going to happen with me. It’s not.” I took another drink of the beer as she glared at me.
I was used to this reaction from women. I’d been called an asshole, arrogant, jerk, jackass; you name it, I had been called it. And I just didn’t care.
The handful of women I had slept with had been likeminded individuals. And all of them were in the military. We were in it for the sexual relief, and that was it. No strings, no ties, no problems.
The people who were non-military who worked on the bases weren’t like us. They had no idea what kind of stress we were put under. And those women expected us to treat them the same way we would have if we were back in the states. They would want a relationship in exchange for as much sex as a man wanted.
The only thing was that I didn’t want a relationship with anyone.
I had built up this idea of Tawny in my head that no woman could possibly compete with. And no woman should have to compete with a memory that had grown for four years.
Hell, even if Tawny and I did meet up again, even she shouldn’t have to compete with what I had made her out to be in my head. The perfect woman for me was what I had conjured.
I figured since four years had passed that Tawny had filled all the way out. Her breasts were bigger now, her arms weren’t so skinny and were toned and tan. She’d even gotten a little taller in my mind.
Her lips had gotten bigger, poutier, her eyes had gone to an even deeper green color. Her hair was shiny and a deep, rich, auburn red color too. And she was smart as well.
In my fantasies, Tawny was a career woman, hellbent on taking names and kicking asses in whatever field she was in. I pictured her in office attire, fitness clothes, and even in scrubs as if she was a doctor or something like that. In my mind, Tawny had it going on in spades.
And this poor girl who was trying her best to get me to want to be in her pants just didn’t add up to what my fantasy Tawny had going on for herself.
As if she could read my mind, she leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. “So tell me about this woman you left behind, soldier.” A smirk curled her lips. “And leave out the parts where you say she’s so perfect. None of us are perfect; I can assure you of that right now.”
I wasn’t about to share my Tawny with this woman. “I’ll pass. I don’t need your opinion.” I held up one hand in a gesture to say I wasn’t trying to be rude or hurt her feelings. “I don’t mean that to sound rude …”
She snarled, “But it is rude.”
Shaking my head, I went on, “You just wouldn’t understand, and I don’t need you to. I just want to chill here, drink a few beers, and relax. You have no idea the hell we’ve been through.”
Flipping her thin wisps of hair over her narrow shoulder, she smiled at me with teeth that were more on the yellow side than I cared for. “I know you’ve been through hell, soldier. That’s precisely why I’m sitting here, trying to get to know you and see how I can help you deal with the tragedies you’ve been through.”
She wasn’t getting it, and I was going to have to be blunt. “You cannot help me, lady. Sorry about that. I’m not real sure anyone can help me with all I’ve seen and done.” I drained the remains of my beer then got up to go grab another one.
I heard her sigh as I walked away. “Damn, he’s so fine. Too bad he’s crazy.”
I wasn’t crazy. She was the crazy one.
Who the hell wanted to jump into bed with a complete stranger anyway?
That kind of thing never had appealed to me. Even the few women I’d slept with were people I had gotten to know over a period of time. It wasn’t in me to hop into bed with just anyone.
Things didn’t seem to be that way for the men I worked with though. Pacman had disappeared with the woman he had been with. Cloud and his chick were gone too. I was pretty sure that Link was actually screwing the woman he was with in the dark corner of the room. And Sonic had his hand between the legs of the girl who sat on his lap at the table I had just left.
The skinny redhead was actively scanning the room for the next available soldier she could grind her pussy on for the night.
I sat at the bar, instead of going back to the table. “One more beer, please.”
The old man behind the bar pulled out a frosty mug and filled it with beer that came from a keg underneath the bar. “Here ya go, son.”
Him calling me son had me thinking that I should really call my parents and sister to see how everyone was doing. In the coming month, I would have a week off. I wanted to see if everyone could get together at my sister and her husband’s home for that week, instead of me having to travel all around to see everyone.
Drumming my fingers on the bar, I wondered if I could get my sister to see if she could look Tawny Matthews up and see what she’d been up to. And if she was single, invite her to spend the week with us.
With me. In bed. The lights on, the blankets off. With only me to keep her warm.
My cock stirred with the thought.
Sonic came up behind me. “Would it bother you if I took off for a bit with Candy, Crash?”
“Nope.” I took a drink of the beer. “I’ll be in the barracks. I’m going to finish this drink then head out.”
Sonic looked at me closely for a moment then put his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I wasn’t okay. Not by a long shot. I missed home, and I missed Tawny like I never had before. So many dreams had me waking up after calling out to her over and over. I would just keep shouting that I couldn’t find her. I would ask her to wait for me.
I hadn’t asked her to do that in real life. I had known it wasn’t fair to ask her to do a thing like that. So why was I asking her to do that in my subconscious?
“I’m just tired.” I clapped Sonic on the back. “Get out of here. Go sow those wild oats of yours. But remember to wear a love-glove; you don’t want to take anything home with you. If we ever get to go home, that is.”
He nodded and left me alone. And I sat there thinking about when we would ever get to go home. The war just went on and on. There was no end in sight.
I really hadn’t known it would be this way when I signed up for the Marines. I doubted I would’ve signed up if I’d known how long this thing would last.
The old man behind the bar started cleaning the area just in front of me with a dingy white cloth. “Listen to me, son. I’m retired Navy. I can see when a man has had his fill of the military life. And you’ve had your fill of it. You’re ready to move on.”
“I’ve got one more tour I have to complete.” The frosted mug didn’t have a trace of frost on it anymore. I ran my finger through the condensation that had been left behind. “I haven’t even thought of not reenlisting once that’s over.”
“I would give it some serious thought, son.” He moved away from me, and when he looked back at me, I noticed that one of his eyes didn’t blink. “I wish I would’ve stopped three months earlier than I did. I lost an eye thanks to my last tour.”
“That’s rough.” I ran my hand over my chin as I thought about something happening to me just before I could get out. “I’ll just have to take that chance though. I don’t have any other plan other than being a Marine for the foreseeable future.”
“There’re more things to be, son. Mark my words, being a Marine is an honor, but it can also be a curse.” He walked away, leaving me with chills.
What if he’s right?