Part Three
Chapter 12
Katana
Silence filled the room. Nix stared at me for a long time then rolled off me and hurried to the bathroom without saying a word. Without a clue as to what he thought about the baby, I lay there and started crying, pulling the blanket up to cover my body.
I’d had no idea how he would take the news. I didn’t know if there was any right way he could have reacted that would’ve made me happy. But this reaction definitely didn’t make me happy.
A few minutes later he came out of the bathroom, a wet washcloth in his hand. He didn’t look at me as he ran it over his face and came to sit on the edge of the bed. “Are you positive it’s mine? I know you told me that it had been over a year since you’d had sex, but people lie. So I need to know the truth.” He looked directly into my eyes. “It’s okay if you lied to me. What’s important now is that you and I both know the truth about everything. If there’s the slightest chance it’s not mine, I need to know. Did you sleep with anyone after me?”
I shook my head and wiped my tears away. “I told you the truth before about not having sex for over a year. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else. I’ve been sick. I thought I had a bug. But yesterday I took a look at my birth control pills. I hadn’t taken them in a couple of weeks, since I first started feeling sick to my stomach. I saw that I’d skipped the week before I met you. I didn’t do it on purpose; I swear that to you.”
He nodded. “I believe you. I recall you telling me you’d had a rough week. It must’ve been one hell of a week.”
“It was. But I can’t believe I forgot to take so many pills. I’m so sorry.” I began to sob and covered my face with my hands so he couldn’t see me ugly crying.
I felt his hands move over mine and he pulled them away, grabbing me up and hugging me, swaying back and forth. “Don’t cry. We’ll handle this. I’m so glad you told me right away. I’m so glad you didn’t leave me out of this.”
He was glad I hadn’t left him out. That was so good to hear. The truth was I’d been worried he’d be mad at me and tell me the problem was all mine since I had caused it.
But he hadn’t said that. He was holding me and telling me we’d handle things. Things were turning out better than I’d thought they would. But I knew I had to pull myself together so I could let him know a bit more.
Sniffling, I pulled back and looked at him. He took the damp cloth and wiped my tears away. “Nix, I just want you to know that I’m not going to hold you to anything. You can have as much or as little to do with this baby as you want. I can take care of him all on my own if you want nothing to do with it. I’m not trying to trap you into a relationship with me either.”
“I’m sure you’re not,” he whispered. “You’ve only known about the baby for a day. You’re sure you want to keep it?”
I nodded. “It may seem like I haven’t thought it all out. But I can’t kill a baby. No matter how small it is. No matter if it hasn’t developed its tiny little heart yet. I can’t do it.” I looked him right in the eyes. “I won’t do it.”
He smiled. “Good. I’m glad to hear that. We got pregnant for a reason. God doesn’t make mistakes.”
He’d used the word we. We’d gotten pregnant. I wasn’t in this alone. He was right here with me. For the first time in my life, I had someone who was going to stick with me.
I sighed. “You don’t know how good it is to hear that, Nix. I promise you I won’t bother you about anything. We’ll figure it all out, and things will be okay.”
“Sure they will,” he said then kissed the top of my head. “Now I understand why you said we couldn’t do what we did before. I have to tell you I was pretty disappointed when you told me that. But now I get it. And I want to tell you that makes me feel very good about the kind of mother you’ll be. A pretty damn great one, I expect.”
I laughed a little. “I guess you should know some things about me, Nix. My mother never knew who my father was. She left me alone a lot and one day she just didn’t come home at all. I was taken to an orphanage, and later an elderly couple took me into their home and fostered me until I turned eighteen.”
“Damn,” he muttered. “That’s rough.”
“I think I should take some parenting classes. It’s not like I know how to care for a baby, or a child for that matter.” I looked down, feeling pretty pathetic.
His hand on my chin brought my face up, and he kissed my lips before he said, “My mother had six kids. I think she’d love to teach you about babies and raising kids.”
His mother?
“You’d take me to meet your family?” I asked with surprise.
“Of course. You’re having my baby. You have to meet the people who’ll love him almost as much as we will.” He kissed me again.
This was all going too perfectly. It didn’t make sense. Things never went perfectly in my world. Something would eventually happen to fuck it all up. But for now, things were going well, and I could enjoy the moment.
When our lips parted, he had more great things to tell me. “I know this is sudden. I mean, we’ve been hit with a lot. But you’re not in this alone. And I want to be there for you just as much as the baby. Come to Malibu. Live in my home. I’m not rushing a relationship or anything like that, so don’t get scared off by what I’m saying here.”
“You aren’t?” I asked. “I mean, I don’t want to force anything either. Do you have enough room for me to have my own bedroom, so we’re not moving things too fast?”
“I’ve got four bedrooms. You’ll have one, and the baby will have one, and we’ll still have one for guests. All of the bedrooms have their own bathrooms so we won’t be getting in each other’s way.” He kissed my cheek. “I mean it. I want to be a part of this whole thing, the pregnancy too. I don’t want to miss a single thing where this child is concerned.”
I was grateful to hear how optimistic he was about this whole thing. But I didn’t want to become a burden to him. “I’ll pay half the rent and all the other bills.”
“Like hell, you will.” He got underneath the blanket with me and put his arm around me. “What is it you do for a living, anyway?”
“I design book covers. I’m a freelancer. I can work from home. I’ll never have to leave the baby with a sitter to do my job.” I smiled. The flexibility of my job made me happy. With all the worries I had about having this child, knowing that I wouldn’t have to find a babysitter was a great relief.
“Cool. Not that you’ll have to work. I’ve got more than enough money. But if you want to do it to keep yourself busy, go right ahead.” He gave my shoulders a little squeeze.
“I won’t be able to be your little slave for quite some time. Are you going to be okay with that, Nix?” I asked, as I had no idea what he’d want.
He chuckled. “Yeah, I know. It’s okay. I only get that urge a couple of times a year anyway. It’s not my full-time thing.”
Glad to have heard that, I laid my head on his chest and felt safe in his arms. I’d never felt as safe as I did when he held me. I had a father for my child. A man who wanted to be there for me and our baby.
I couldn’t believe that a chance meeting at a BDSM club had ended up like this.
With me pregnant with a wealthy man’s child, being swept off to Malibu, California, to live for who knew how long. The future looked a hell of a lot brighter than it ever had before.
But that niggling thing inside of me that hated to get my hopes up about anything came to pester me. Things never go right for you, Katana Reeves, you know that. Something will rear its ugly head and make this thing go south. Just you watch.
I pressed my lips against Nix’s chest and tried to silence the nagging voice in my head. For now, everything was going right. For now, I had a man who was going to stand up and do the right thing. This hadn’t been planned, but it had happened, and he’d had the level-headedness to deal with that.
For now, I would be okay.