Mia

“Bellisima!”

I blush at the yell of a younger man as he passes by the hotel on a Vespa and float into the hotel on a bubble of pure delight as Daphne comes up beside me and gives me another thorough once over.

Even I have to admit I look good and no, it’s not the new clothes, the leather flats or the makeup that I am wearing that make me feel good. It’s the tons of money I just blew, all thanks to a black card that I never once used but for travel expenses and dinners.

For six years I slaved, through unrequited love, two brothers and the surety that I was going to die at my desk, and not once did I ask Lucas for a thing, save my salary and just a smidge of respect.

Today I blew that all right out of the water by going to designer boutiques, salons that cost more than most people make in a month and a restaurant where the cake was so good I almost wept with sheer joy.

And I am definitely feeling great. Who said a girl can’t shop and enjoy it, Fran!

More murmurs follow us and I force myself not to cringe when one gentleman gets on the elevator with us, his eyes blatant in their appreciation.

“Ciao bella.” He purrs, looking down at me with an appreciative glance that has even Daphne giggling like a school girl.

“Hi,” I mumble, coloring when he grins, his dark eyes so like Lucas’s gleaming down at me.

I’m pretty sure he’s undressing me with his eyes and I’d be flattered, really, I would, but I just had sex with a man last night, one I-

I just had sex with one man, I can’t be bothered to be propositioned this way by a total stranger.

“A Yank! Good God, it makes me happy to hear your accent. I’m Bronson Preston,” he says, offering his hand.

I take it, noting - just offhandedly, mind you! - well, he’s not wearing a wedding ring and his hands are big and rough and-

“This is Mia.” Daphne slots in for me, grinning from ear to ear in a way that makes me very afraid.

For my life.

“Well, Mia, it’s a pleasure to meet a fellow Yank, and such a beauty, too. Say, are ya doing anything for dinner tonight?”

“Y-”

“No! No, she isn’t. She’s completely free.”

“Daph-”

“And she’d love to have dinner with you provided it’s in the hotel restaurant. Can’t be too careful these days.” She trills, pinching my ass when I go to decline.

“Ow!”

“Great! I’ve been so lonely out here and what with all the women not understanding a word I say it hasn’t been the trip of a life time, let me tell ya. So, dinner at eight?”

“Well-”

“She’ll see you at eight, Mr. Preston.” She rushes before I can refuse, her hand clamping down on my arm to drag me from the elevator when the door opens.

“What the heck, Daph!” I yell once we’re in the room and I can actually speak. “I don’t want to go to dinner with that man.”

“Too bad because that is exactly what you’re doing. Did you hear me on the phone with Luc earlier? That miscreant is having dinner with some film actress tonight.” She growls, throwing me for a loop.

My heart plummets at the further evidence of Lucas’s disregard for me and I flop down on the couch, my earlier high and buoyant mood crushed beneath the boot heel of Lucas’s insensitivity.

“He is?”

Don’t cry. Don’t you cry, Mia, I scream at myself, biting my lips to stop the trembling that would spell out my feelings. God, this hurts. I expected something, eventually, after this morning’s performance. I just didn’t expect him to move so fast and in such a way that he’s practically screaming his lack of care for me from the rooftops.

“He is. And I think it’s about time that you start behaving in a manner befitting our gender. I love my son, Mia, and I wish to God he was smarter than this but if he isn’t then I say it’s time that you thought a little more of yourself than to let him take you for granted. You’ve got a new wardrobe, you’ve got a date and I suggest that you start thinking of yourself as more than Lucas’s. If he can’t see you for what you are, beautiful on the inside, as well as out, then you need to move on and give some other man the opportunity to deserve you.”

“I…”

“Be his secretary. It’s a good job, you know the people and you get paid well. As well as that I like having you around so often. But that’s all I want you to do. Observe the fact that he has a life and don’t let the possessive, insensitive little snot take yours just because it’s convenient for him that you’re hiding yourself and running around making him happy. If he wants a wife, he can find one. If he wants floozies, let him have them. As far as I am concerned, it’s about time you let him bungle through his own shit and take the time to be happy.”

My eyes fill with tears because I know that if even Daphne is fed up with Lucas’s blindness and behavior towards me then it’s about time I faced facts and killed that tiny spark of hope that hasn’t quite died out.

She’s right. I am a person with rights to a life that is more than running after Lucas while he lives quite comfortably. He never has to do a thing because of me, never has to sweat the details because I am there and never has to take time out of what he wants to do just because I am there to fix and troubleshoot whatever comes up.

That’s not my place and I know it. I am not his wife, not his anything really. Just the secretary and it’s time I realized that and went forth accordingly.

********************************************************************

“Where are you going?”

I flinch at the sound of Lucas’s deep voice and turn just as Daphne puts the last pin in my upswept hair, her motherly tutting settling my nerves while her eyes burn bright with warning, and support.

Lucas has been gone all day and after a late lunch and a visit to Sergio who laughed his ass off when Daphne filled him in on this morning’s events, we came back and she helped me get ready.

I am currently clothed in a soft purple sheath dress that just hints at my cleavage and sweeps to the floor beneath sensible three inch heels that Daph assured me won’t kill me.

I look smoking hot, even if I say so myself, and I feel like I could crush it tonight, if I can keep myself from passing out from nerves.

Schooling my face against the need to sob I draw in a deep breath and face Lucas without a care in the world, even if I am starting to sweat. He’s glaring at me and I cringe when I spot his diary because I know he’s pissed that I didn’t work today.

“Dinner?”

The statement is more a question and Daphne rolls her eyes before putting on a glorious smile.

“This very handsome young man asked Mia to dinner and I am mightily glad she accepted! Do you know, Luc, I used to think poor Mia was a lesbian before today? You should have seen her face when he asked her out, and I can’t say I blame her. If I wasn’t still hopelessly in love with your papa he’d have had me on his hands. Rawrrr.”

Oh God. I have the urge to laugh hysterically when his face goes dark and I almost do when she continues.

“Of course, I took Mia out to use that card of yours since you rushed her here without giving her time to pack, so at least she’s dressed properly. Bronson’s jaw is going to unhinge when he sees you, dearest, but remember what Mama said, safe sex! I’ve put a few of those condom things in your clutch if he invites you up to his room.”

She keeps babbling, Bronson this, going on and on about how she can just see me giving her little grandbabies with blonde hair and dark eyes, though please, rethink the names, Bronson is not one she really prefers…and on, and on until even I have the urge to tell her to shut up.

Lucas just stands there listening, his face hard, body tense while she spritzes me with perfume and re-glosses my lips.

“There! You look marvelous. Oh, Luc dearest, since Mia is walking me down to meet her young man it’s not necessary for you to bother. Come along dear, the sooner you start the evening the sooner you can call me in the morning and tell me what happened. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and by that I mean there’s not much I wouldn’t do with a man who looks that good.”

I giggle at that and pass by Lucas with my head held high, even managing a firm greeting and my wish that he have a good evening. By the time we’re in the elevator and going down I’m ready to bolt but I squelch the urge when it opens and I see…Gisele!

Goddammit.

“Now remember what I said dear, enjoy yourself and just give him a chance. We’re not talking marriage and babies here, just the opportunity to show Lucas that he hasn’t crushed you and then well, just enjoy having a man spoil you.”

“Did you see his face? He’s going to get that credit card bill and murder me,” I mutter, stopping at the entrance where the driver is waiting for her.

“Oh pooh! He slept with you. Least he can do is buy you some clothes for the insult he dealt you. Now. Chin up, ass out and work this date like you would a deal. Find the good points and if not, well you got a free meal. Do. Not. Chicken. Out. I don’t want my son treating you like a serf and I surely can’t stand the thought of you leaving and never seeing you again. So get over him, move on and show him that he’s on his own,” she says bracingly, kissing my cheek softly.

“I feel gross about this. He’s gonna think I’m a floozy.”

“And he’s lily white?” she snorts, pursing her lips. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. You’re going to get over him and give me grandchildren, not mope around in your ugly suits for the next six years while he runs rough shod over you. He may be my kid but I raised him better and if he can’t be, he can lose what could have been. Now give Mama a kiss and go eat. Remember. Condoms are in your clutch.”

She breezes off with plans to spend the night at Sergio’s side and I walk back to the restaurant with genuine misgivings about this course of action.

At first, I thought she was setting me up, that she wanted to help me make Lucas jealous. I was going to balk and tell her it wouldn’t work but it seems old Daph isn’t interested in playing games and for that I am grateful. She genuinely just loves me enough to not sugar coat her son and doesn’t want me to look like the lonely loser pining away.

I’d cry for that show of kindness if I could but the fake lashes she glued on, followed by a half a wand of mascara won’t allow it and anyway, I’d kill myself before I let anyone see me hurting.

“Mia!”

I manage a smile when Bronson comes stalking my way, his handsome blonde looks giving me a thrill when I spot Gisele getting on the elevator out of the corner of my eye, her destination predetermined.

“What say we get out of here and go eat somewhere a little less…uppity,” I suggest when he starts leading me towards the restaurant.

He grins at me and relaxes, and I get the sense that like me he’s into a more relaxed atmosphere, as I suspected. Not that that’s the reason, no, I just don’t want to sit there with Lucas somewhere in the room, watching me.

Aaaand I plan to have a late night and leave him guessing, even if I have no intention of sleeping with Bronson.

“I know this great little place just down the street. It’s not fancy like this place but it makes the best shrimp I have ever had,” he suggests, placing his hand at the small of my back and grinning.

“Lead on, kind sir, I love shrimp.”

*****************************************************************

“No!”

“Hell yeah! I was knee deep in child support and trying to balance visitation and the meetings I have to attend around the globe and she didn’t say a thing. I only found out Gavin wasn’t mine when he had to have an emergency appendectomy and needed blood in case something went wrong,” Bronson says, scowling darkly.

We’ve been out for well over three hours now and after a dinner that blew my socks off, we’ve lingered over drinks-no coffee for me, I like Bronson-while he regales me with tales of his ex-wife and her wandering eye.

It galls me that you get people who would lie that much, especially about a child’s paternity, but I have to say that I adore Bronson for demanding custody of the boy who isn’t even his son because according to him that was his kid for three years, no way is he just abandoning him.

The ex-wife is now married to husband number two after attending rehab and losing custody of Bronson’s five-year-old little boy Gavin.

“God, some people are such assholes,” I mutter, sipping a glass of red wine that makes me miss Santiago.

“You’re telling me. So that’s me, little Mia. What about you? Got any exes crawling out of the woodwork? Kids? Family?” he asks, leaning back to survey me with a glint in his eye.

He’s removed his jacket and tie and rolled up his shirt sleeves to stave off the heat and seems completely at ease and eager to continue our date, even if it’s been hours.

“Um, let me think. I lost my mom at eighteen. My dad walked out and left me with two sixteen-year-old boys who weren’t anywhere near coping with Mama’s death. We eventually got over it but it hurt a lot. I still miss her a lot. Uh, I’ve worked for the same guy for six years, well besides the four months I stopped and went around the globe, just traveling and seeing the sights. And now I got my job back and I’m in Italy because his father had a heart attack,” I say, finishing off with a shrug.

“Oh come on! That can’t be everything. You’re a gorgeous woman. Boyfriends? Tragic relationships? Secret affairs?” he urges making me laugh and shake my head.

“Nope. Until today I was in love with my boss, but I got a rude awakening that shook that up real good. I don’t have any weird stories, honestly, all I’ve done for six years is work and bail my brothers out of scrapes.”

Bronson looks at me skeptically and then shakes his head, his eyes and mouth showing humor while I sip wine and try not to get too deep about things.

“You still love him?”

“Hell no. He’s an ass who only uses me to make his life easier and I decided just this morning that I’m not going to be his lackey anymore. I’m dating and living my life like I want from now on and I don’t care what anyone says. With Justin and Shaun now setting up some ski lodge and out of my hair, I’m at loose ends and as Daph said, I only live once, can’t waste it on a crush.”

“Cheers to that,” he says softly making my head shoot up to look at him. “You have to know that I like you, Mia. I’d really like to keep seeing you after this. I think it’s kismet that we live in the same city and I’m not going to be an idiot and pass up the chance to see you just because you might have loved some other guy. He’s not here with you and Daphne is right, you should move on. So, what do you say? Can I call you when you get back to Cali?”

I don’t know quite what to say to him, not and be honest, but a part of me, the part that is kind and good and doesn’t take my shit out on other people like Bronson, even if he has a weird name, knows I can always use more friends.

“I’d like that. If you agree that we can be friends until such a time as we’re both ready for something else. I find you very attractive, Bronson, believe me, the girl in me is standing up and panting, but I just got myself keelhauled and I won’t be unfair to you and try to use you as a rebound. You’re also still getting over your wife, who I know you loved despite whatever you may say,” I tell him, smiling at his frown. “So, friends?” I ask, hating myself for being so feelingsy that I can’t just go to this guy’s hotel room and have sex with him.

I want to! I want to so bad if only to prove to myself and Lucas that I can, that I won’t invest myself in one night of good sex and lousy company.

Bronson sighs, grins at me and holds out his hand.

“Deal.”

We shake on it with me feeling better about myself and the night, knowing that I am nothing like Lucas who’d use someone and discard them as easily as he discards his socks.

Because as Mama used to tell me ‘baby, never let your reaction be dictated by another’s actions’. I believe in that and if I haven’t quite practiced what she preached thus far I am determined to at least try from this day forward.

No more anger and lashing out, no more yelling or letting Lucas piss me off so much I lose my mind. From now on, I feel nothing but a small measure of affection for him and a whole lot of gratitude for the job. That is it.

“Now, in the spirit of making your boss jealous…” Bronson laughs, paying the bill and standing to hold his hand out to me. “Let’s go get some ice cream and get a feel for Milan’s night life.”

“Lead away, kind sir!”

We walk for what feels like hours, hand in hand after scoffing more gelato than any two people should ingest. I don’t know half of the city or even remember all those lectures Lucas gave me when we travelled here.

I do remember that there’s some place here where people go and shove their heels into the balls of a mosaic bull and spin around. Why, I can’t tell you, but once I tell Bronson that story he makes it his mission to find out what it is and I laughingly watch as he tries and fails to question many locals who just laugh at his terrible Italian and wave him off good humoredly.

We eat amazing pizza at around one in the morning and I am still floating when I leave him in his room and ride the elevator to the suite, a smile plumping my cheeks when I quietly open the door and enter the room.

“Where the hell have you been!”