Bay

The sound of children giggling has me whipping around to stare at Mitch and Skeeter’s little monsters, my eyes narrowing when they peer at me like I’m a curiosity and start whispering to each other.

I am feeling a hundred times better today, and I don’t want to chance God punishing me by scaring the heck out of ten little kids just to prove that their parents are right–they should fear me.

I just curl my lip and turn away, sighing and laying back on the porch swing while I watch Jones talk to Ky and Cord while daddy stands at the barbecue with his hand on mama’s ass.

The two of them look great together, and I feel my own bubble of joy try to unfurl inside me when I look back at Jones and see him throw me a smile.

His eyes are never truly off me, as stalker as that sounds, and I love it. The man is…

So, the night I was sick as a dog I fell asleep in his arms, and yes, I did tell him I love him. I won’t deny it even if I haven’t said it again. The man doesn’t deserve it!

I woke with my stomach boiling like a cauldron and knew without a shadow of a doubt that what was going to come out of me was not gonna be good.

So I gingerly snuck out of bed, tiptoed out of the house, and drove home like a bat out of hell sweating so much I was worried about staining the car seats.

I made it home just in time to disengage the alarm, yell at Ripper to F off and dove for my bathroom like a lunatic. It was not pretty or feminine, and it was so loud I thanked the good Lord that I decided to leave because, no way, no how was I doing that at Jones’s house.

I almost died on that toilet and moaned the way my sisters say I do, sounding like a zombie, my ass burning like someone set fire to the anus. It was painful, sweet relief that fled the minute I walked out of my bathroom to see Jones lying on my bed, his face set in a hard mask of what I think was him shaming me.

I felt shame, trust me, I felt shame, and I haven’t forgiven him since. Some things, a girl just needs to stay private you know, but according to Jones I have a duty to include him in everything, even if it is me fog horning the toilet.

“Stop pouting. I go number two at home all the time. Yesterday Sully even left the door open so we could continue a conversation.”

I ignore Kim when she sits down beside me and distractedly rubs her belly, my own thought on the embarrassment I can’t live down because I spilled my guts to Kim and she told everyone.

I could kill her, but even I wanted to giggle when that had Jack telling me about pregnancy gas and how she’s just so over going outside in the yard to fart because it’s so prevalent.

“Kim, I doubt you’re sane enough to understand that dumping while having a conversation with your husband is not normal.”

“Oh pfft! He doesn’t care. The man looooves me and Jefferson loves you. Come on, you’ve been together for a few months now, and you know you love him too, and odds are you’ll get hitched. So what’s the big deal? You’re gonna crap with him knowing about it eventually, Bayou. God, I swear you’re even weirder than you were before,” she complains, squealing when I pinch her nipple and smirk.

“How’s the baby? You go for that sonogram?”

“Ooooh, she is huge,” Kim breathes, her face lighting up. “Sully was so excited when we found out the sex he painted the room that same day. Of course, then he started worrying about fumes and took me to a hotel, but it was just…I’m happy Bay,” she breathes, looking at her husband as if he hangs the stars at night.

I totally get it, but come on, get a room.

“Get a room, Kimberly. Hell, I can smell you creaming yourself,” I say in a monotone that has her stiffening and shuddering.

“Well, that’s my arousal gone. Thanks a lot.”

“And you’re welcome,” I laugh, watching her stomp off in a huff.

I keep my eyes on Jones, chewing my lip because you know, it’s been months now and he hasn’t so much as asked me about what I want for us. Sure, I mean I was okay with the whole time thing a few months back when I wasn’t sure about him, but come on, I admitted to the man that I love him, I almost died getting over him witnessing the death of my feminine mystery and…

What now?

I will go through torture before I admit this, but I’m kinda starting to worry that we’ll be that couple everyone talks about who is together for like ten years without some sort of commitment.

I do not want to be Jennifer Aniston to his Vince Vaughn. I don’t want to live with him for years and just get stuck in a rut. Not that we even live together because we don’t.

Heck, two weeks ago I made noises about going home for a change, and he let me without so much as one peep of protest. I was so mad at him for not asking me to stay I stayed awake all night cleaning the house and painted my bedroom yellow.

Then I passed out from the fumes and I had a hangover all day. Worst day ever. He didn’t even call me! I had to swallow my pride and show up at his place and he acted like that was normal.

I mean…what does a girl have to do around this place to get a proposal, or just the “I think we should live together” conversation?

Yeah, I know I could just say it, but come on, I would so totally lose, and I hate losing!

“What’s got your pubes in a knot?” mama asks, sitting down beside me and handing me a glass of…

“Mama! Wine?” I gasp, getting a lip curl when she raises her shine jar.

“For you, weirdo. Now, what’s wrong?”

I sigh, keeping my face blank and shrug.

“Nothing really. Just…what do you think of Jones?” I ask, cringing because that is a loaded question that mama can shoot off with a myriad of unkind answers.

She surprises me when she smiles and strokes my cheek softly, her eyes going gentle.

“I love that boy, and he’s perfect for you my little sour apple. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I am tickled you girls all found good men like your daddy. Jones loves you, Bay, and you love him even if you don’t like to show it around everyone else.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, sipping my wine with a gulp before looking back at him.

“You want more, huh? Don’t try to argue now girl, you and me…people think Kim is like me, but no, it’s you, Bay. You ever wonder why I named you Bayou?” she asks, making me frown.

“Luanne says you smoked a lot of pot that year.”

“Hell, it’s because when you were inside me you were already a contradiction. You’d kick and go on like you were fighting to come out into the world and then other times you were as restful as the slow-moving waters of the bayous where I was born. Before Tennessee? My mama moved to Mississippi with three girls to teach my daddy a lesson. We lived there for a full year before he came crawling and begging her to come back.”

I snort, never having heard this particular story and watch her as she smiles.

“You reminded me of the river, calm one minute and violent the next. You came out of me fighting but then stopped crying and gave me such a calm look…well, it was fitting I thought. And I can tell you what else is fitting. You and that boy. You marry him, Bay, you don’t let that happiness I see in you slip away just ‘cause you’re scared. I almost lost your daddy trying to push him away, and it would have killed me. Don’t make that mistake darlin’,” she says, cackling when my mouth drops open.

Mama is never this emotive unless she’s angry and just having her be here and so…nice makes me want to hug her to pieces.

“I hope to heck he asks soon, Mama. You know how badly I react to disappointment.”

She laughs and clinks her jar to my glass, shaking her head.

“Baby, if that man disappoints you mama will help you bury the body.”

 

*****

 

Jefferson

I gulp and straighten my tie, looking over at Cord where he’s fussing over Jack and trying not to curse when she slaps at his hands and points to where Declan is pouting and in a timeout.

Cord stomps over to join him, and I laugh when they start whining about how unreasonable their wives are. Rue lost her temper with Declan trying to mollycoddle her about ten minutes ago, and I can’t blame her. The woman just recovered from the flu and he’s acting as if she had the plague with his hovering.

As for Jack, I saw her trying to sneak a peanut butter bar out of her purse and eat it not two seconds ago. It’s one of the no eat items on the list Cord made, so I do not blame her for losing it when he almost caught her.

Bay almost chewed my arm off a day ago when I tried to take a bite of one of the bars Dee made. Those things are delicious, and I relish anything I can get of them because I am with a woman who will kill me if I ever touch her food.

Rue whistles and has the noise dying down suddenly, her blue eyes sparkling when she peeks out of the window and almost dances with excitement.

“She’s here! You all just shut the hell up and don’t tip her off before she’s inside so Kim can lock the doors,” she yells, making me laugh because yeah, I am standing inside the house, our house if things go well, and I am about to whammy Bayou Brady with a surprise wedding that may or may not get me killed.

I’ve been planning it with Jack and Kim for two months now, and I am grateful as hell that they’re so afraid of Bay they’ve managed to keep it a secret. It’s not that I think she’ll just walk, I mean I am hopeful since that one time she told me she loved me that she’ll at least let me convince her.

I am nervous though because not only is her entire family here but so is mine, including grams who adores Bay. I invited my family for one reason only, and that was because grams wanted to see what would happen if mom and Rue Brady ever had to share the same air space.

I think I know, but for now I’m holding off judgment because the doors open and Bay strides in wearing a yellow maxi dress that clashes spectacularly with her hair and she’s cursing as she drops her purse on the table and tries to dig her thong out of her ass.

I would laugh, but I can’t help catching my breath when she looks up, spots everyone and meets my eyes with one of those devoid expressions that she is so famous for.

“Will you?” I ask, keeping my eyes on her all the while she looks around the backyard and takes in the guests.

Flea and Skeeter are grinning and looking smug as Declan hustles down the aisle to go get Bay, his exact words to me being, “She is mean, but I am bigger, lad.”

I hold my breath, swallowing when she looks over at me again and then feel everything inside me go up in flames when she smiles, whoops and shoves Declan out of the way to run down the aisle.

“Took you long enough, asshole. Shut up preacher Ashton and get to the good parts before this holdout changes his mind!”

I laugh all the way through the ceremony, almost expiring when it gets to the I do’s and Bay purses her lips as if considering. Her smile breaks through though, all that naughty I’ve unlocked breaking out in a spectacular laugh that has everyone’s jaws dropping.

“I do!”

“I do,” I hurry out before the preacher can say another word, sealing my lips over hers while she giggles and grabs my ass.

“Well, uh, ahem. I pronounce you man and wife,” he stutters while I kiss my wife and slide the huge rock she remembers onto her finger.

She pauses, pulling away and gasps when she sees the ring my grandma gave me years ago when grandpa passed away, the family heirloom having come to me for my bride.

“I may have lied a little,” I confess, blushing when she narrows her eyes and purses her lips.

“A little? Jefferson Jones, have you no shame?” she mocks, making me laugh and kiss her silly while the party starts all around us.

“For you? None,” I purr, grabbing her ass through the ugly yellow dress.

“Well good, then you won’t blush when I tell you to take me upstairs.”

I get about halfway with Bay thrown over my shoulder before I hear a high-pitched scream and Bay all but leaps from my hold. I turn, seeing absolute pandemonium with my mom and Rue Brady in the center while the men all stand around and laugh, money exchanging hands with Declan Brady in the midst of it all.

He winks, mouths “no returns” and starts egging his wife on. I am stunned and only somewhat aware of Ky, Sully, and Cord coming up beside me to watch as every Brady and Brogan female starts throwing punches.

“Christ. And to think, we planned all this,” Cord sighs, grinning when a heavily pregnant Jack kicks Kelly Brogan in the head and bounces in her heels with a hoot.

I laugh, my whole body shaking when Declan sidles up to us and grins wickedly.

“You planned nothing boys. It’s the luck of the Irish and a father’s duty to sell his daughters off. You’ll know what I mean when your time comes.”

We all cross ourselves except for Sully who sighs and hangs his head since he’s already having a daughter.

“No daughters, Jesus. Please,” Cord begs, getting a round of laughter from us all.

“To landing the Brady girls!” Declan yells, raising his glass and watching us all drink.

He stops laughing when Rue picks up a chair and I see Bay fly over the buffet, snatching a roll before she body slams into my sister.

Hell. To landing Bayou Brady, I think, drinking a toast to hopefully many happy, chaotic years to come.

“Baby! Kelly is eating your cake!” I yell, holding my hand out to a sneering Declan when Bay stops mid-leap, turns and tackles Kelly with a shriek.

What? I chose that cake for my woman, no way anyone else is getting any before she does.

“You bloody cheat!”

“Just hedging my bets and betting on a sure thing, old man,” I chuckle, taking his money to watch him stomp away and slam a fist into Flea’s face.

“Christ, I can’t believe we got the Brady sisters,” we all mutter at the same time, laughing hard when they all four stop, sniff the air and turn narrowed eyes on us.

To life as the man of a Brady woman.

 

~ END ~