Ky

I grit my teeth against the pleasure and dig my fingers deeper into Dee’s hips, the sight of her round, luscious ass bouncing and jiggling with my every thrust making my cock swell and harden more.

Being inside her is a wet, tight heaven and I never want it to end. I want to live in her, feel her wrapped around me twenty-four seven and never pull out.

I want this to go on so much it hurts and yet I know that it can’t. I’m too hard, too wild for the need to empty my nuts into her.

Dee gasps, using her hands to steady herself and drive back into me, her pink sheath so wet I feel her juices coat my thighs with every thrust into her.

“Ky.”

Her high-pitched scream when I push deeper is like music to my ears, and I thrust harder, knowing what she needs, my body ready and willing to give it to her as I fist her hair and pull her mouth to mine, needing her taste on my lips when she comes.

She bucks when I drive in again the slap of skin against sweat-slicked skin making the lust soar higher and hotter inside me. I love being inside her like this, owning her body.

It makes me feel like a god when she’s under me and screaming my name because I give her so much pleasure she can’t do anything but feel and want.

That’s how I need Dee, feeling not thinking because I know that the more we’re together, the more afraid she becomes. It drives me crazy because I can’t do anything to make her stop and just take what I want to give her. Me, all of me. My heart, my body, my soul.

I want it all so much that the more I have Dee, the more desperate and out of control I become.

“Ky!”

“Yeah, that’s it, baby. Feel how good we are together,” I grate, pushing my tongue into her mouth as my hand goes down to her clit, flicking over the little bud faster.

The extra stimulation has her bucking back to take me deeper, and I groan, fighting myself to hold off. She needs to come first. Feeling Dee reach her nirvana has become an addiction. The more I have, the more I want and need it, and it’s even worse now that we’ve been together a few weeks and I know exactly how to get her to go crazy for me.

She pants loudly, using my cock to get off and comes so hard I have to pull my mouth away to breathe when my balls draw up and release, pouring streams of come into her contracting sex.

She slumps onto the mattress, taking me with her and I curl into her heat, resting my weight on my elbows as I breathe and enjoy the little aftershocks against my softening dick.

When she finally falls silent, spent and replete, I pull out with a groan and fall beside her, breathing hard to still the racing of my heart.

“God, I don’t think I can move,” she mumbles sleepily, turning her head to smile softly and kiss my shoulder.

“Don’t. I want you to stay, sleep with me with my come drying between your legs. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and see it there and put some more in you,” I plead.

I know it’s pathetic to beg, but that’s where I’m at with Dee. I’ll do anything, say anything to have just one little piece of her. I need to own just one piece so this tightness in my chest will ease and I can breathe again.

I thought that if I just had her it would go away, but the more we’re together the worse it gets. I am obsessed with her, so in love, it actually hurts me.

And I fucking love it. I haven’t ever felt this way about another woman and I know I never will. She’s my equal in every way. She satisfies me as no other woman has before. She makes me laugh, she makes me happy. She makes me feel at peace.

I crave that peace now like a junkie craves his next fix, but I know that like a junkie I could get burned if I don’t stop and see the bigger picture before I burn out.

“Ky–”

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Dee,” I cut in, knowing that it could backfire on me but useless to do anything else. “I need more. I give you all of me, every little piece but the more I give, the further away you get.”

She stills, looking over at me with so much vulnerability I want to pull back my words and just forget that I started this. I can’t though. It’s not enough.

I know a month isn’t that long, just four weeks of us seeing each other casually which is what I offered but now realize isn’t enough. I know it’s not the deal I made but I can’t do this anymore.

I need more.

“Ky, I…can’t we just be together without attaching labels right now? It’s been a month, Ky, hardly any time at all.”

“And yet I’ve been after you forever, Dee. This…is just one step on a road that I’ve been on for years.”

“Years! You have screwed everything you set your sights on for years. You want me to trust you, Ky? Consider your feelings? Where’s the consideration I need?”

“Dee, I do consider your feelings. I fucking love you,” I yell, jumping up from the bed and shoving a hand through my hair.

“And that’s supposed to make everything magical and perfect? I have news for you,” she sneers, rising in all her beautifully naked glory to huff and glare at me.

Jesus, she looks sexy when she’s mad, I think, groaning when my cock takes her sneering look as an invitation.

“You are not all that and a bag of fucking dicks. You flirt. All the time. You talk to other women. You smile at other women.”

“It doesn’t mean anything!”

“To you. To you, it’s just second nature, but to me, it’s just one piece of you that isn’t mine. I can’t look at another guy without you having a fit, Ky. You almost beat that guy up in the grocery store–”

“He was trying to touch you,” I yell, defending myself because she is mine and it’s my God-given right to protect my woman.

“I dropped my purse. He was giving it back.”

“To your ass?” I seethe, stalking to the chest of drawers to drag out a pair of boxer briefs. “Face it, Dee, you aren’t perfect either. You’re gorgeous, and you know it, and you don’t even notice that men are looking at you.”

“Because I’m with you. When I’m with you all I do is see you,” she screams, her boobs jiggling when she stamps her foot angrily.

“And I see you–”

“Yeah, when some other woman isn’t having a meltdown about her fucked up hair or looking self-conscious about her ass being huge,” she snorts, shaking her head with a humorless laugh. “You walked clear across the park last Sunday to tell that mother of four that she had a nice hairstyle.”

“Because her asshole of a husband was ridiculing her. Do you not care when people are shitty to each other?” I ask.

I know I’m being a prick, unfair but this conversation has spiraled into a place I can’t walk firmly. I don’t have even footing here, and I don’t know what to say to make her understand.

“I do care. But you know what, Ky, having the guy I am with leave me alone with a bunch of guys I don’t even know to chase across the park to pay some other woman a compliment is not exactly fun. Those friends of yours high fived each other and started taking bets about you pulling the married chick with the baby stroller! I was right there, and they didn’t even care because apparently, Ky, the great seducer could get a woman to fuck right there and then.”

I wince, flushing because I know my Sunday soccer team–I only play sporadically–are a bunch of assholes with big mouths. Not that they’re completely wrong mind you because I have been a horn dog.

I’ve changed though. Jesus, I don’t think of anyone but Dee. What’s it gonna take for her to see it?

“That was shitty of them, and I apologize, but it still doesn’t change the facts, Dee. You come over here, we have sex, and then you leave. We go to dinner, and we go out, and we have sex. As far as you’re concerned, I’m just a fucktoy and I don’t like it. I want to marry you, have babies, do the whole goddamn nine yards with you, and all I get is sex and the brush off,” I yell, my temper flaring when she lifts the ashtray my niece made in pottery class and glares at me.

“That is a terrible thing to say.”

“But true. The only time I get to you is when my cock is making you happy. Any other time…you won’t even hold my fucking hand when we’re in public,” I accuse.

“I have sweaty hands! It embarrasses me.”

“And I don’t care if you drench my hand! All I’m asking for here is a little closeness, Dee,” I sigh, losing steam and dropping my arms to my sides. “I just need to know that you’re in this with me, all the way. We can keep things light for now, but I need to know that you’ll walk down that aisle to me and give me everything, the way I want to with you.”

She slumps, her shoulders falling and I see her eyes go wet before she bends down to pick up her dress.

“And then what? We get married and I have to spend my life always wondering if you’re going to leave me for a newer, hotter model? No! You know it’s a valid concern Ky. You look, all the time. You may not want any of them now, but you know what, there’s always the chance that looking will lead to wanting and I can’t handle that. If I love you, I love you. It would hurt too much to watch you lose interest, and I know that may sound horrible, but it’s the way I feel. Yeah, you’re good in bed, and yeah, I want you, but did it ever occur to you that maybe this is hurting me too? Because what you’re offering me is not all of you, it’s just the part you think I deserve. You haven’t changed, not one bit while I have changed everything about my life for you.”

“Dee–”

“I don’t go out with my friends because I’d rather be with you. I don’t go wing woman for Kim because I know it would drive you crazy if I was in a bar, letting guys hit on me so Kim can get to the friend. See, I think of how you would feel, but you don’t return the favor, and if a month together isn’t going to make you see that I’m right, then I just can’t do this anymore,” she says sadly, pulling the dress on and grabbing her bag.

I don’t move. I can’t. I feel as if a truck has hit me and all my vitals are down.

“Dee–”

“I told you what I need, and you aren’t capable of giving it to me, so just leave me the hell alone.”

I watch as she walks out and stay in exactly that spot as I hear the front door slam and the gravel crunch on the drive when she pulls out. It’s only when she’s gone that I move and it’s with a curse that I fall face first into the bed and bury my nose in her pillow.

Is she right? I ask myself, swallowing against the lump in my throat as pain wings through me. I don’t know, but now that Cord is back I have someone who I can talk to.

I grab the phone, dialing his number despite the lateness of the hour and grin when he answers with a curse.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Shit, hang on. Just let me go into the other room. Jack just fell asleep, and you don’t want to see that woman when she’s woken from a good sleep,” he mutters, yawning so wide I hear his jaw crack.

I wait until he leaves the room and hear him open the fridge and the clink of a glass before he responds.

“Dee okay?”

“No, man. She just left,” I mutter, rolling over to grab her pillow because I need to smell her.

“What happened, Ky?”

“I told her I need more and she yelled at me and told me she can’t trust me because I flirt with all women.”

He chuckles, making me frown and I feel even shittier when he hums his agreement.

“Jack warned me the two of you were going to get into sticky pastures, but I didn’t believe her until I saw you vault over a park bench to tell a pregnant woman she looked great and glowy,” he accuses, making me curse on a groan.

“Fuck man.”

“Look, Ky, I’ma be straight with you, man. Dee, she’s not an easy woman, I get that, but I also know that she’s given herself to you a hundred percent. When Jack found out about Melinda and Poppy, Dee was right there taking the blame because she didn’t want Jack to yell at you. Granted when my wife saw that kid and heard about Melinda’s troubles she was on that shit like white on rice–”

“Yeah,” I snort, recalling the way Jack marched over to the Dresser house, dragged Felix off his mama’s tit and slapped him silly while yelling that he would marry her cousin or his mama would be identifying him in the morgue.

She then proceeded to scare the crap out of Felix’s mama with the very eerie statement that Kim knows about a place in the woods where no one will ever find a body.

The long and short is that Melinda is now engaged and Jack’s helping her plan her wedding, free of charge, and everyone still loves each other because Dee told Jack that she was solely responsible for setting Mel up with Kim and she took all the heat when Jack started going nuts.

It’s all good now, like I said, because Jack looked at Poppy and well, I guess it’s programmed into a female’s DNA to forget anything but a cute baby.

Yeah, my Dee is a good woman and despite her never saying the words, I know she loves me. She wakes up at five in the morning to bake me treats for God’s sake and comes over even when she’s so tired I’ve literally seen her start snoring on her feet.

True story. I caught her just in time before she cracked her skull on the tile. And slept beside her for an hour before she woke up, made love to me and went home.

Stubborn woman.

“Cord, man I’ve tried to change. Hell, I don’t even have my little black book anymore.”

“Wow! You’re such a fucking prince. Look, I’ma tell you something that could get my throat slit if my wife ever finds out that I said anything. It might explain why Dee’s going so nuts on you lately and maybe…just don’t freak and for God’s sake, don’t tell anyone I told you,” he begs, his voice going so low I barely hear him.

“Promise.”

“Jack saw Dee going into the pharmacy on Havers, and the clerk told her Dee bought seven pregnancy tests.”

I don’t hear another word as I jump up to grab clothes, my mind working frantically as I pull on jeans and a tee and shove my feet into sneakers. I’m in the car moments later and peeling out of the driveway so fast I’d get a ticket if anyone saw me.

When I get to Dee’s place, I knock for ten full minutes before it becomes clear she isn’t home and slump back against the door with my heart hammering and very full.

A baby?