Emma

His tongue hits mine and I moan, gasping when he pulls me flat on the seat and pushes into the cradle of my thighs, his erection hitting me right where I ache.

His arm shoots out to put up the privacy window and then he’s all over me, grinding into the cradle of my thighs with hard, sharp bursts of movement that make my sex pulse and let off a wet warmth.

The sensation is heart-stoppingly good and I push back, desperate to feel him, wanting to know what it’s like to come with him making love to my mouth and pushing into me over my clothes.

Our mouths are ravenous as we kiss and I’m pulling at his hips to get more friction when he rears up with a curse and scrambles back, thrusting his fingers deep into his hair.

“Jesus. Seeing you in there, knowing everything I touched was going to be on your skin was so arousing.” He gasps, leaning back while I scramble to sit beside him.

His about face is so sudden it takes me a bit to settle myself and not attack him like a rabid animal in heat. I almost do when he reaches down to shift his erection but his look of warning stops me.

“We’re being good this weekend,” he says insistently, making me swallow and nod even if I don’t want to agree. “Good. Now, we were talking before. I’ve been wondering about something you said…it sounds to me like you come from money. No, don’t tense up, Emma, just let me say what I need to. For whatever reason, you left home and the life you knew to come to New York and make a new start. I don’t know many women who would leave a life of apparent luxury to struggle and live in a tiny apartment with little to no water pressure.”

I grunt, acknowledging his words and settle closer to the door when he grabs at his thighs and turns to face me.

“I won’t pry. I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk about them but if you were right about that scholarship…do I need to be concerned about them coming here?” he asks softly.

The thought has crossed my mind before, I won’t lie, and for months after they pulled my scholarship, I was terrified to go out alone. Buck would take me to campus and come back to get me when I was done.

For even Buck to be that concerned, I was sure it had to be true, they were coming for me. When months passed without a word or even a hint of their presence, I started relaxing again and Buck went back to sleeping late in the mornings instead of crawling in at six and walking me all over the place an hour later.

I finally felt free and by the next year I was relatively certain that I was being a paranoid freak. Now, though…

“They have no reason to come anywhere near me, Colt. I made it clear when I left that I wasn’t ever going to go back and that whatever they planned for me wasn’t happening. I don’t think you should even consider it a worry.”

“Good because, no offense, I don’t take kindly to anyone messing with what is mine, and you’re mine, Emma.”

The possessive tone of his voice makes my skin prickle but this time it’s in a good I-find-him-so-sexy-way that makes my breath go short.

“I don’t want to talk about them. They’re in the past.”

“Good. Then we can focus on the rest of the day being fun. What do you like to do, Em?”

I shrug, not knowing how to answer that. I enjoy reading and working, not much of anything else since I’m not exactly a social butterfly, but somehow I doubt asking him to watch me read a book would go down well. Colton seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t sit still, much less spend hours reading a book. Or watching TV.

“I don’t really know how to answer that, Colt. I don’t really get out all that much. I don’t like crowds,” I admit, shifting uncomfortably when he peers at me.

“I think it’s time you faced that fear, Em, seeing as pretty soon you’ll be going to parties with me.”

That stops me dead and I contemplate leaping from the moving car and running for home like the hounds of hell are on me. Which is apt because that is exactly what going to parties makes me feel.

“I don’t like parties.”

“You will with me by your side,” he says confidently.

“No, I mean I really do not like parties,” I say again, my hands shaking at the thought of all those rich people surrounding me, sizing me up just like- “I don’t like parties,” I yell, my breath going choppy as I start shaking.

Colton grabs me before I can reach for the door and pulls me into his body. I struggle against him, my mind in free fall as images bombard me so hard and fast I stop breathing.

It’s like having someone toss you into frozen water. Everything stops for me and I know, somewhere deep inside, that having a panic attack when he hints at taking me out is ridiculous but I can’t stop it.

Four years of therapy that I couldn’t really afford hasn’t been able to help me get over this one aspect of my life that makes me hysterical and I don’t see myself getting any better just because he’s there with me.

Buck had the same attitude until the one New Year’s party he dragged me to. It wasn’t anything like what I was used to so it shouldn’t have set me off but the minute I walked into the house and everyone looked at me I felt like quicksand had opened up beneath me.

I freaked the hell out so bad Buck rushed me to the emergency and Doc Lyndon came out to talk me down. I don’t ever want to feel that way again and even more I don’t want to force myself to try and have poor Colton on the side-lines while I go mental and embarrass the hell out of him.

“Sssshh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Emma. Emma!” he barks when I slap at him, trying to break free to get loose. “Stop. Goddammit, baby, stop. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”

I hear the anxiety in his voice and somehow it calms me, knowing that he’s afraid. At least I’m not the only one, I think, hating myself a little for not being stronger.

“I want to go home.”

“Emma-”

“I want to go home!” I scream, pushing at him because I can’t bear to be close to him, not now, not with what’s going through my head.

I hear him curse before releasing me and I scramble to the door, curling up there protectively while he barks orders to the driver. I don’t look at him, I can’t, not even when he tries to touch me and curses when I flinch back.

Getting back to my building feels like it takes an eternity but the minute I see the brown brick I fling the door open and run, taking the stairs when I hear footsteps behind me.

Somehow, I get there before he catches me and I burst into the apartment at a dead run, ignoring Buck’s shouts as I fling myself into my room and lock the door.

“Emma! Em? Are you okay? Goddammit, what the fuck did you do?”

I hear Buck screaming, Colton yelling an answer, but I can’t process half of it because my knees buckle and the tears start flowing. I slide down the door and crumple.

It’s been so long, so fucking long. Why can’t I just let it go? I scream inside, sobbing as if it happened just yesterday. What can only be minutes later I feel the door handle rattle and then a knock that I ignore.

I can’t speak right now. I can’t see anyone right now or I’m likely to be committed by the people I love. I feel shattered, broken as Buck pounds on the door and Colton begs me to open and let him in.

“Please, Em. Let me in. Please.”

I ignore them all, even August when she quietly asks me if I need anything and just lay there, letting the horror unfold behind my eyelids. I hate them. God, I hate them so much that sometimes I still ask myself why I didn’t kill them.

Sometimes I wonder how I let myself live or how I managed to live at all after it happened. It’s strange but I feel as if I’d have lost it if not for my mother, always there, always letting me know that I wasn’t getting away.

That fueled me to live if nothing else because I was intent on defying them and getting away. I just couldn’t let them win. But at what cost? I ask myself, curling tighter and listening to the voices go quiet before the front door shuts softly.

Colton leaving, I think miserably, sniffling as I crawl to the bed and pull myself onto the mattress. He’ll never come back, I think, letting tears of misery seep passed my eyelids.

I’m too screwed up to have thought I could be with a man like Colton and not go nuts. I’ve lived for years hiding, always making sure I’m safe and protected from the memories and yet one day, a good day, just turned into a freak show.

I cry a little more at the thought of never being with him again and fall asleep wondering how the heck I will face him again come Monday morning.

I owe him an explanation, I know this, but to be honest, I don’t think I have it in me to tell him everything and watch him turn cold.

“Em! Emmie? Are you okay?”

I hear Buck try the door again and smirk when he curses, my throat tight with yet unshed tears.

“Fine,” I manage after swallowing at the lump in my throat, pushing my face into the pillow.

“Em, honey, please open the door and talk to me.”

I ignore the guilt that hits me hearing the concern in his voice and snuggle down into the pillow, closing my eyes when exhaustion hits me.

“I don’t want to talk, Buck. I just want to sleep. Please.”

He sighs and I hear whispers before he thumps the door in frustration.

“Okay, baby doll. If you’re sure then I’m going to take Aug to her apartment. Do you need me to stay?” he asks hopefully.

“No. I’m going to sleep, Buck. Go away.”

Shuffling ensues and I hear more whispering before the front door closes, leaving me alone in the apartment with my thoughts and the crushing knowledge that whatever was going to happen between me and Colton is most definitely over. It has to be because I can’t be what he needs.

I just can’t.

I fall asleep minutes later with tears wetting my pillow, cursing my family with everything inside me.

 

Colton

The couch springs dig into my ass and I shift again, running a hand over my face and throwing one leg down to the floor do get comfortable. This Goddamn couch with the ungodly dip on the left is not where I thought I’d be on a Saturday afternoon after having so much fun with Emma in the lingerie store.

In fact, I planned to take her to the aquarium, buy her ice-cream and dig some more secrets out of her while trying to keep my dick in my pants for another two days.

I never once expected her to freak out the way she did. That shit scared me and I am not proud to admit that for a split second when she bolted out of the car, I considered letting her go.

That lasted less than a breath and I followed, of course I did, but she had a head start so by the time I caught up with her it was to have a door slamming in my face and Buck ready to rip me limb from limb.

It took a lot to calm the man enough to understand I hadn’t physically hurt Emma, and let me tell you, I don’t envy anyone who fights Buck Burk, he has a vicious right hook.

Now here I am, nursing a throbbing eye while I listen to the silent apartment creak around us and the occasional sniffle through Em’s door.

If I knew what the fuck was going on I’d feel better. If I could handle this situation and fix it, I’d feel less as if the ground beneath my feet is crumbling but an hour of glaring at Buck and threatening him with all manner of things still couldn’t get the fucker to crack.

It makes me happy that Emma has someone that loyal in her life but its killing me to lie here while she is locked in her room, crying. Buck told me to give her time but I can’t do that.

I want Emma, badly, and while that may not be the romantic happily ever after kind of want, it’s enough that I reach for my phone and make a call, whispering orders into the mouthpiece.

“I don’t know, man,” Harley mutters after hearing what I want. “I like Emma. I don’t want to go digging into her background like this, Colt. It feels wrong.”

“Please, man. Jesus, Harley, you should have seen her after I mentioned taking her out with me. It was like I was asking her to pull the trigger of a gun pointed at her own head,” I say, cursing at the memory of her eyes, wild with fear.

“Christ. Fine, just give me a minute.”

I hear the tapping of keys and blow out a breath while Harley does what he does best and starts digging up information. Of the two of us, he’s the brains, his skills with a computer are what put us on the map before we started branching out into other areas of business.

Harley may have the money to hire people to do anything now but when it comes to finding information, he’s the only one I trust.

“Okay, here we go. Emma Jillian Harper, born the fifth of October nineteen ninety four. Parents; Arthur and Jillian Harper of the California Harpers. Old money bro. She has two brothers, Conrad and Arthur Jr. Attended an all-girls academy until she hit her freshman year when she was transferred out by her grandmother Phyllis Harper. Christ Colt, what exactly am I looking for here man? It sounds as if she’s just a normal girl who came to the city to attend college and scored an internship at Glasgow on merit,” he says.

I don’t know what I expected but none of this fits with what I saw in the car. The Emma I saw then was terrified, so scared she went into full blown panic and almost stoked out when I tried to touch her.

She was nothing like the sensual, albeit shy, woman I kissed the hell out of earlier.

“I don’t fucking know, man, but something isn’t right. You should have seen her, Harley. Goddammit, even thinking about her terror makes me want to hit something!” I snarl, rubbing at my eyes tiredly.

Harley doesn’t sayanything for long minutes before I hear a sigh and feel my mouth quirk.

“I’m going against everything I believe in, Colt. I’ll have Moses head down there on Monday to dig but if we don’t find anything, you stop, we clear? I don’t like the idea of invading her life like this. It screams stalker,” he mutters.

“She’s seeing a shrink. I want to know who,” I say, ignoring his curses.

“No. You want that you ask her.”

“She won’t tell me, Harley. Hell, she’s still locked in her room.”

“So give her some space, asshole.”

“Not happening,” I say with a hard tone to my voice, the thought of backing off before I even got anywhere with her making my jaw clench.

He sighs again and I can just see his expression when he surprises me.

“I really like this one, Colt. She’s smart and sweet and gorgeous as hell, but there’s a fragility about her that makes me want to hide her from you. Don’t mess with her unless you have good intentions, brother.”

I have no idea what I intend but it sure as hell doesn’t involve hurting Emma and it also does not have me walking away. I won’t, can’t do that. I want her too much, especially knowing that she’s going to be all mine.

Getting hard is not a good idea, what with the woman in question hiding behind a locked door, but that is exactly what happens when I think about pushing into her virgin heat and feel her sheath give to wrap around me

It’s so erotic I have to stifle a groan and run my palm down the swollen shaft to still the ache growing there.

“Don’t you worry about Emma, I got her. You just get me what I need.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll call if we get anything,” he mutters, ending the call with a curse while I chuckle and toss my phone onto the coffee table.

I stay there for the next few minutes before my body refuses to be still anymore and stalk to the kitchen to rifle through the drawers. I find a nail file and a hair pin and grin as I approach her door, pressing my ear to the wood to listen.

When I hear nothing, I sink to my haunches and minutes later I’m pushing the door open silently and getting my first look at her private space.

The room is small with a bed that is only slightly wider than the standard twin. The walls are a soft grey and the bedding is lilac, making me think of here yes when they change color.

The rest of it is sparse but neat as a pin and it’s only after I note the lack of personal touch that I look down to see Emma curled around a pillow, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

I can’t stand the thought of her alone and hurting so I kick off my shoes and very slowly slide onto the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her in a protective hold that feels right instead of strange, as I know it should.

I stay that way for hours, just feeling her ass cradle my cock and the soft, warm weight of her against my chest. I like this, I think, surprised at just how much I enjoy holding her.

I’ve never held a woman like this before. Oh, I am not one of those heartless playboys who fuck a chick and toss her out the minute I’ve shot my load, I do cuddle and let her know that I’m thankful for the gift of her body, but I just don’t hold women this way.

The cuddling usually leads to touching, kissing, a lot of kissing and foreplay before we have sex again. Just holding Emma, though…it feels good, as if I don’t have to be thinking about my end game just to enjoy the closeness.

She sniffles again and turns in my arms, shoving her breasts into my chest and one leg between mine, her face so close I can’t resist kissing her softly, sweetly.

Whatever happened in that car, whatever happened to her to set her off like that, I will find out and God help anyone if they hurt this little angel because I may not be Mr. Happily Ever After but no one hurts what’s mine. No one.