Dee

I roll out of my childhood bed and fall into a sprint, reaching the bathroom just in time as everything in my stomach makes a play for gold and spews out into the bowl.

I puke so hard I almost fart and groan when I slump down on the tiles, my head spinning as it has been for the last two weeks. I feel awful, sad, and not the smallest bit afraid.

By that I mean my fear isn’t small, it’s huge. Huge enough that instead of lying there dying like I want to, I roll to my feet and wash my mouth out before mama or daddy catch on to what’s happening.

I’ve been home for two weeks now, hiding out and on vacation from work because I know that Ky won’t come here looking for me. It’s cowardly, but hell, I just can’t face the thought of him talking to me right now and giving me every single reason we should be together.

I know the reasons. Unfortunately, I also know the reasons against it, namely that he’s an insensitive asshole who deserves to suffer and die alone, pining for my sexy ass.

“Deidra! What are you doing in there?” mama yells, banging on the door so hard I jump and let out an ass burp in fright.

“Shaving my nethers! Why, you wanna hold a fold while I shave?” I yell sarcastically, my heart beating hard enough I have to sit on the toilet to keep from passing out.

Nosy old bag.

“Deidra Brady, open this door right now so I can see you.” She raps, pounding harder when I sniff and throw her the finger, almost as if she can see through the wood.

I wouldn’t put it past that old fart, being as she’s evil.

I sigh, doing a sniff test to make sure I don’t smell like puke and pull the door open with a scowl.

“If you wanted to see my junk all you have to do is ask,” I mutter, pushing a hand down to the waistband of my sleep shorts.

Mama slaps my hand, gasping loudly and gives me a critical up and down before shaking her head.

“Come on, girl, I made you some toast and tea.”

“I hate tea,” I mumble following her, my stomach growling as the nausea settles.

“Well, that’s too fucking bad seeing as you got my first grandbaby in that belly and pregnant women don’t drink coffee.”

I gape, breaking out in a cold sweat while she giggles and pushes me down into a seat at the table. Daddy just grunts a merry hello over his paper and keeps eating while mama hands me rye toast and a cup of tea.

“Mama–”

“Now, Dee, don’t get your nethers in a twist girl. I’m not gonna have a fit. Besides, Mel already laid the pathway to shame for her family, so it’s not like it’s new or nothing. Luanne can’t say shit about this since her daughter is more of a whore than mine.”

I take it on the chin, deciding not to retaliate with a curse because it could be worse. Mama could be dragging me out of the house by my hair and banishing me until I have a ring and another name.

“Shit.”

“Oh lass, it ain’t all that bad! We’re going to have a wee baby to love and cuddle. I’m so excited,” Daddy crows, making my stomach turn because they all know, despite my effort to hide it, and in this family, there is no such thing as secrecy.

Jack probably already knows, which means Cord does and Cord will for definite tell Ky and, and I don’t know how to feel about that! I didn’t want him to know yet. I just need some time to stay low and think things through.

I’ve played out a whole bunch of scenarios in my head and what I have so far is, move and change my name so my family never finds me. Marry a guy on Craigslist, but that one’s a wash because his photo has a machete hanging on the wall in the background and that just seems likely to mean that he’s a murderous freak.

My favorite so far is to just ignore it and walk around like normal until someone mentions that I’m pregnant and then cry and beat them up and tell them I picked up a smidge of weight.

Of course, that could only last so long. I’d eventually give birth, and then I could tell them I don’t know where the baby came from, but I love it, and I’m keeping it.

Admittedly all those scenarios are nuts, but I am feeling nuts lately, and all I can think is that…

I am pregnant!

Me. A Brady. My family does not take well to unwed mothers and fathers. Just ask Mel who finally reconciled with her family, after a lot of groveling.

Her mama hugged her, called her a lying whore, and then made her cupcakes. Because she has a ring on her finger and her child won’t be a bastard for long. Jimbo’s words, not mine.

Can you imagine what they’d say if I had a baby, wasn’t married and made it known I have no intentions of getting married? They’d lynch me for sure and name my poor child something like Burtlebee.

And that isn’t a joke! I have a great-granddaddy with that unfortunate name. He’s dead now so that just makes it more likely. And mama would do it too, just to punish me.

“Please tell me you haven’t told anyone,” I plead, munching toast and spitting crumbs everywhere when mama grins.

“Of course, we didn’t silly, it’s your business. I only told Bay.”

“Oh, Mama, how could you?”

She smiles, sweetly because we all know that Bay is the gossip in the family. She may be devoid of all expression, but that woman enjoys shocking the hell out of folks and going to the hair salon to open her flaps and gush everything and anything she hears. She’s a monster when it comes to gossip.

“Maaaaama!”

“Oh, cool your weeze,” she mutters, making daddy laugh and tell her she said it wrong and the word isn’t even Irish, it’s Scottish.

That starts them arguing about things because daddy has a hate of the Scottish that I just don’t get and mama uses it to rile him something fierce.

I’m still sitting there, nursing a slice of toast and now tepid tea when Kim walks in, looks me over and makes me want to punch her in the snatch.

“You don’t look like you’re knocked up with Ky Hollis’s kid although…you do look like shit, so I believe it. When’s the wedding?”

“Fuck you, Kim. Fuck you so hard,” I scream, hurling the teacup at her.

She ducks, and it sails into a cabinet making mama yell and shake her fist at me. The woman despises cleaning and only does it once a day if she can help it. In our house, the place stayed clean only until Jack left.

Now it’s passably clean just the way mama likes it.

“I wasn’t the one having unprotected sex with Ky Hollis,” she says smugly, making my hair raise I am so fired up.

“It was not unprotected! I am on the pill.”

“Then that man must have super seed ‘cause you are definitely knocked up.”

“And let me guess, you were the one who told Jack, who told mama, who told Bay, and now everyone knows!” I yell, making mama tackle me to grab the plate when I reach for it.

Kim just grins and shrugs, stealing my toast to spread jam on it and hand it back.

“It’s disgusting dry. Give my niece something to grow on.”

“I hate you so bad right now that I don’t even mind telling mama you wanted to give Sully a hummer, and he turned you down flat,” I snarl, making her stiffen and narrow her eyes.

Mama gasps, letting out a muffled curse and daddy drops his paper to stare at us with…glee?

“Well now! Sully Grimes?” he asks curiously.

Kim shrieks, grabs my toast and shoves it all in her mouth while shooting daggers at me.

“Yeah! She went to dinner with him to cover up your part in Jack’s wedding drama, and then she tried to give him a hummer because she’s into him, but he turned her down and hasn’t called her ever since. And it’s making her crazy,” I say my voice dripping with satisfaction as I smile and watch her go purple.

Mama’s silent, just sitting there staring at us in horror while daddy chuckles gleefully and mutters something in his own language that sounds suspiciously like “just one more to go Jesus, and then I’m free.”

I glare. Mama glares. Kim starts choking on her toast and has daddy up and grabbing her to perform the Heimlich. She screams as the toast shoots out of her mouth and lands in front of me with a wet plop.

Then she pukes because she is a pain puker, can’t handle getting hurt and we all realize daddy just broke a rib and pandemonium ensues.

That’s how we end up at the hospital with daddy sobbing like a baby, mama listening to the doctor bemoan Kim’s luck, and I look up to see Ky staring at me from across the waiting room, his brown eyes burning brightly.

I don’t get a chance to run, mostly because Bay’s sitting beside me–don’t ask me how, she just materialized like some ghostly wraith–and she grabs onto my shirt and holds on for dear life to keep me in place.

Ky stalks my way, drops down to his knees in front of me and shoves his face into my belly with a groan. I can’t move and melt a minute later when I hear him whispering to the baby, his face pressed right up against me as he kisses my belly.

I go to touch him, my heart cracking and melting and making me so emotional I want to cry, when he gives me one final kiss, just a peck on the lips, stands, and walks out.

“Well shit. I guess that says it all.”

“Shut up, Bay!” I yell, breaking into snotty sobs because we girls are all daddy, except Kim who really doesn’t have a soul, like mama.

My tears have daddy coming over to hug me, his eyes darting around to make sure mama isn’t anywhere near to witness my weakness and I cry even harder because, well, because I think I just got the brush off from my Ky and it hurts.

“There, there lass. It’s okay. Da has you,” he murmurs while Bay awkwardly pats my back and drones nonsense in her dead voice.

“He, he didn’t even talk to me,” I wail again, stopping on a dime when mama walks in, eyes narrowing.

“What are you three doing?”

“Bay smiled! It scared the wee lamb,” Daddy yells, his mind going to our usual excuse while Bay just shrugs as if she isn’t bothered that we use her as a scapegoat when we need to cry.

Mama nods, understanding and comes over to smooth my hair down.

“Kimmy’s rib is only bruised so you can stop sobbing you big girl,” mama croons, making me pull away when she rises on tiptoe to kiss daddy.

With tongue.

“Oh my God. My eyes,” Bay drones, making me giggle because it just sounds so wrong.

She floors me when she giggles too, the sound a sweet, almost childlike tinkle. I freeze, watching her and realize, Bay is human. For some reason that makes me tear up again, and I fall into a seat next to her and take her hand squeezing it when she squeezes first.

“What the hell am I gonna do?”

“Let’s go eat. Everything is always better with food.”

We leave, gratefully because my parents are still pulling into each other like they’re kissing for the last time and Bay takes me to the Badger and gets me a coffee, two jam filled donuts and a lemon square.

We head to the office, me in shorts and rubber flip-flops on my feet because no way, no how, am I going back to that house with my parents getting amorous and Kim convalescing in her old room.

“Thank God! I need you to make me a cake! Mandy down at Gail’s had to go out of town to see her sick mother, and I need it tomorrow.”

That’s Jack’s idea of a greeting when I walk in, and I stop, turning to stare at her with my mouth hanging open.

“I can’t. I sold all my equipment last week to pay for an apartment.”

I cried like a baby letting go of that fondant roller, but it brought me a nice solid grand towards my apartment fund as did the spray gun.

Jack frowns, falls into her chair and finger waves me over to her office.

“Dee, I need a lemon meringue flavored cake with silver butterflies and two life like people standing on the top in sarongs! I tried ordering from Henry’s out of town, but he won’t take it on such short notice.”

I want to help her, I really do but I have no equipment, no kitchen and there isn’t enough time to organize any of it seeing as it’s already gone noon.

“She can go over to Gail’s,” Bay suggests.

I widen my eyes at her, silently telling her to shut the hell up. No way am I going over there where Ky is just so he can stare through me again. It might kill me.

Jack likes that idea though, and I know this because she’s on the phone before I can draw a breath to tell Bay to die and then she smiles at me and puts the phone down.

“Ky will open the kitchen for you.”

“Jack–”

“You owe me for not telling me about Mel! Now go make the cake, make up with your baby daddy and only have sex on the kitchen counter if there’s no food around. Hygiene is important.”