Jamaica

The hotel suite we walk into after I got into Santiago’s car is one of those jobs you see on the rich and famous shows, all gold gilt, or whatever that shit is, and ornate décor.

I like it, taking my time to look over the place before taking a seat at the table set for two, ignoring Santiago’s smirk when my stomach growls.

“You always forget breakfast.”

“I don’t eat breakfast,”  I mutter, glaring at the bacon that seems to be calling to me, begging to be eaten.

He sighs and I swear the man thinks it’s me being an ass and pushes my plate forward before pouring coffee.

“Just eat the fucking food, Bella, and stop looking for a fight. We’re calling a truce from here on out, no matter how much you despise me. Please. I am hungry and I cannot eat unless you do.”

“Fine. But get on with it.”

He ignores me, instead spearing a tomato and biting into it while his eyes remain fixed on me. I start eating begrudgingly and stifle a moan of enjoyment when I taste the roll on my plate, the warm buttery dough melting in my mouth.

“Two days ago, I received information that a member of my family who we had thought dead is, in fact, still alive,” he says, eating while I digest this information and pick at my own food.

The coffee is good so I keep going while he gathers himself, waiting silently.

“The child is the result of…an unfortunate affair that was conducted and my Nona has made it clear that she expects this child to be found and returned to us, with as little publicity as possible.”

“A child? Who’s child?” I demand, my instinct to jump up and get to work vying with the need for information.

“My…brother. He is long since dead having been killed in a car accident five years ago. We did not know that he’d had a child until this information landed in my lap. No, I will not tell you how that came about, I made a vow to keep it quiet but I will tell you that no amount of inquiry on my part has yielded results. That’s why I need you. The last known location is an orphanage in Florence.”

Uuuuh, and they don’t give out any information without going through the right channels. Those channels would undoubtedly alert people, namely the media and then the story would be out, make international headlines and ruin the great Alvarez name.

I get it now, I think, swallowing bile at the thought of a kid, out there, not knowing who their family is.

“I could call a contact I have at Interpol and see if they can hack the database.”

“No. The place is still archaic, keeps hard copies so we have to go in there and hope to get something. Ourselves,” he insists, waving his fork at my plate and ordering me to eat.

I do but only because I am still hungry and the food would help, I tell myself, devouring the roll and bacon before starting on the omelette.

“Okay. So what, you want to go in there…no. Hell no. I am not posing as potential parents and disappointing some poor kid just so you can get your hands on a file! That is despicable.”

“Calm yourself. We are only interviewing with the woman who screens couples, not anywhere near the actual adoption process,” he assures me.

I lose my appetite, pushing my food away because the man is just…insensitive. I can’t bear the thought of going into a place with little kids, babies and seeing their little hopeful faces and-

“And say we get this file…….”

“We will. More specifically you will tell her you need the bathroom and while she is directing you I will locate what we need,” he says smoothly.

“I don’t think…”

“You know that with a situation like this, going in there is our only option. I would have had the files hacked and on my desk the same day if it were possible Bella. Short of walking in there and declaring my intentions only to be turned away, this is all I have. We will find the paperwork and hopefully locate her.”

Not likely. I’ve been on adoption cases before and they hardly, if ever, give a current address, never mind if we do get the files. I think he’s trying to convince himself that it will work and for some sick reason I don’t have the heart to tell him it won’t be that simple.

“So that’s the grand plan you need me for. You realise you could have taken any woman in there to pose as your wife,” I point out, pouring myself more coffee.

He smiles darkly at that observation and I feel my stomach dip and give a heave when he bites his lip and smoulders at me.

“Ah, but I would not marry just any woman, Bella. Surely you know-”

“Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the heck are you talking about? You said we are posing as a married couple.”

“No, I said we had to pose as a happily married couple who want to adopt a child,” he says slowly.

My blood runs cold and I swallow, blinking back at him blankly.

“Fine. Give me the ring, tell me what you want me to say and I’ll act the hell out of it.”

“No, Bella, you misunderstand me. For this to work, we need to be married.”

I can’t have heard him clearly, I think, shaking myself when he just keeps staring, not moving a muscle. I expect him to laugh, tell me he’s pulling my leg or something, anything but what he’s implying, but the man just keeps silent and waits for me to process it all.

“I, no, nope, this is not happening,” I say slowly, rising to my feet on shaking legs.

“Be reasonable. You know that I have to submit paperwork and valid documentation before I can even get us an appointment. They’ll go through it all with a fine-tooth comb, Bella. You’re an ex-cop, you know how the system works.”

“Married! Are you…” I laugh, stalking to the window to stare out at the bustling street below.

This is beyond cruel, even for him. I should slap his face for doing this to me, taunting me this way and just walk out of here and never see him again.

Months ago, when I needed him the most and harbored dreams of him loving me back I would have done anything to get a proposal and have his ring on my finger.

To most I may be a hardened cop, a female body guard who can break a man’s spine with one kick, but that’s not me. I’m a person, I have feelings and what I felt for Santiago was in no way trivial.

He seduced me with words, looks, sex and all the bells and whistles, and then made it clear once my eyes were sufficiently starry enough that we would never go down that road.

In fact, I think his words were something along the lines of I am not what he’s looking for in a wife and the mother of his children. Ironic that…

“You cannot be serious. Are you serious? Just how much of that wine you make have you been drinking?” I stutter, turning to face him with a face I know is pale.

I feel as if he just hit me with a freaking brick and all he does is stare silently, shaking his head.

“No.”

“If I do not do this then I have no hope-”

“Ask some other chump! Jesus, this is just cruel, even for you.”

He vaults to his feet as if I’ve insulted him and I take a calming breath to stop this situation from escalating.

“Cruel? I do not mean to be cruel, Bella, but this is not something I can walk away from. I need a wife, someone who I can trust with this, someone who will know the score and walk away when it is done without seeing a marriage license as a bargaining chip.”

Someone who already knows that he will never be kept or keep them, I translate painfully, my chest going tight and hot. Yeah, I get it now. I already know who he is, what he’s capable of and I hate him, so he’s comfortable putting a ring on me because he knows I would never stick.

“You mean you need someone who is stupid enough to already know you and still help you.” I sneer. “And then what huh? I leave and we both go on without lives and I get to tell myself that I was married to you for the sake of the greater good? Marriage means something to me. It’s a vow that I would never, ever make lightly, Santiago, and you know that. Just hearing you talk about it as if it has no meaning…you’re insulting,” I say, my breath halting when he sits down heavily and drops his face into his hands.

“I have no one else to ask, Bella. It’s just me and my family and as far as they’re concerned it is my duty, as if I must make this happen as if by magic. If I cannot…I have no one else to turn to. Believe me, I have tried. All the money in the world has not enabled me to get the answers and as loathsome as it sounds I would have bribed someone if I could. Luc has had his people on this since I called him two days ago and even they cannot find anything,” he says tiredly.

Dammit.

I really like his family, would do anything for his grey old granny and saying no to this, knowing that I could help, isn’t possible. And he knows it. He knows me.

“I want your guarantee that when this is over you will annul this marriage and we will never see each other again.”

I keep my voice cold, hard, as level as I can manage with my insides shaking and wait silently for him to react. He just sits there, for the longest time and stares out at nothing before turning to give me a sad smile.

“You hate me so much, Bella? You cannot even be friends with me, as you were with Brian Cassidy?” he asks, his voice thick.

Friends? To be his friend as I was with Brian would have been easy, if he felt even a smidgeon of respect for me. He doesn’t. The last time we spoke, really spoke and I yelled my love for him he laughed and asked me if I say that to Brian while we lie in bed after…

I’d have told him that I hadn’t been with Brian in a long time, that what we had was just two lonely souls reaching out because we had nothing else. I would have told him that I could see no one else after I met him.

But he intimated things that hurt me so deeply I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak.

No, I can’t be his friend, not after everything, but I don’t hate him. I can’t.

“I don’t hate you, Santiago, I would if I could, but it seems my capacity for hatred is at an all-time low. I just do not love you anymore and being your friend…that would require you to have something you do not possess. A heart.”

He flinches again. I shouldn’t enjoy that but I do. I like knowing that I’ve touched him in some way and that it hurts because I want him to hurt, just a fraction of the hurt that I feel.

My early life was spent being used by the two people who should have loved me and protected me. They took from me instead and made me feel as if just being alive was gift enough for them to deserve the right to own me.

Since I was nine years old and I realized my mom would never care and my father would sell me for a bottle, it’s been a struggle to see myself as anything more than a commodity.

It took me a long time to get over that and see value in myself and now here I am again. One man. It takes one man to undermine my self-worth and he’s doing such a fucking good job of it-

“If you do this for me…I will repay you for every hurt I have made you feel,” he vows, rising and stalking my way.

When he stops before me I don’t move, not even when he reaches out a hand to cup my cheek. It’s an effort that costs me and I feel another piece of me break off and crumble.

“You couldn’t. What I lost because of you is not something that I can ever get back, Santiago, you and I both know it.” I laugh, shaking off my anger when he closes his eyes and reopens them to look deeply into mine.

“I am sorry, Bella, for everything. I never meant to…”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions, isn’t that what they say? No, I don’t think you meant for things to end up the way they did but here we are and you know what, I have learned my lesson. You’re just like everyone else in my life Santiago. You need something and so you’ll use me up until you’ve had what you want and then walk away. The only people I have ever had who truly care are Mia and her family and even now, I’m here because Luc needs me to be.”

Which sucks! I don’t blame him. Heck he’d do anything to keep Mia happy at a time when she’s so pregnant her ass looks like it’s made space for a litter. I respect that, a man who loves so deeply he’d do anything and everything to protect that love.

It just hurts a little that I have to be collateral damage.

“Mia and Luc love you.”

“Yeah. I know. I love them, too.”

“Then do not-”

“Can we just fucking get on with what it is you want to do, please. I need your promise, Santiago, right here, right now, I do this for you and when it’s done, you walk away. We never see each other again. If you know I’m coming to see Mia and the kids when they’re born you make an excuse and leave,” I say, standing my ground.

If this is the cost of having my life back I will gladly pay it. Just wish it didn’t make me feel as if my heart’s shattering.

“I give you my promise.”

“Good. You can make the arrangements for…you can get that sorted while I go back to the apartment to get a few things. Before I do that though…” I murmur, sitting down again and indicating for him to follow.

“I need to know everything, not this half-jacked recounting of events. Your brother, what was his name? What was his girlfriend’s name? Where did she live? When was her baby born? I need everything down to the very last detail because if what I think is going to happen happens, then I’m gonna need to dig, deep, and I can only do that if I have details.”

He sits back and rubs at his mouth, an action I’ve witnessed many times when he’s stressed and trying to gather himself. Something about the tense way he holds himself makes my gut perk up and start yelling questions but I stifle the urge and wait silently.

I may not be a cop anymore but I still have the instinct and something don’t smell right. I need to do this, get it done and walk before whatever he’s hiding comes back to bite me in the ass.

“My brother was Carlos. He was two years older than me and married at the age of twenty. Nobody knew of the marriage until he brought her home. They eloped. Things were not…good between them even then but we never suspected that it would become so bad…anyway, they were married for perhaps a year before they decided to divorce. She left and my brother went a little crazy. Started drinking and going out. He died in an accident when he fell asleep behind the wheel of his car and drove into oncoming traffic.”

“Holy shit,” I mutter, wanting to reach out to comfort him.

I don’t. I sit and listen, taking out my pen and pad to take notes while he looks out of the window behind me.

“Lena was pregnant when she left, unbeknownst to everyone. We never knew about the child until very recently when someone came to us and told us. Unfortunately, Lena died two weeks ago so I cannot go to her to get the answers.”

Well, there goes my plan B through to Z, I think closing my eyes when I hit a wall before I even started jogging at the thing. Shit.

“Any relatives? People she was close to?”

“No, just a mother who wouldn’t spit on us if we were on fire. I tried talking to her. All I got was that Lena gave the baby up and left home for Tuscany. That’s all we know.”

No, that’s not all, I think, watching his face and knowing that he’s keeping something to himself. No matter. I am damn good at my job and I’ll eventually know whatever it is he thinks he can hide.

I spent years doing this. Hell, one of my previous charges was a Saudi princess who had a terrorist on her tail because she deigned to speak up about the atrocities being committed in the Middle East.

I found that chump in four days and put paid to the notion that woman are only good for a handful of things. If I can find a well-known terrorist the CIA couldn’t smoke out I can find out the truth and lay my hands on one little girl no one knew existed until now.

Piece of cake. It’s not the job that’s bugging me though, it’s Santiago.

“Hhhmm. Okay. You do your thing and I’ll be back in a bit. I need to get clothes and some other essentials. I’ll check in when I get back,” I say, rising to grab my bag.

“That won’t be necessary, I hired the suite.”

“How lovely for you. I’m getting my own room. Don’t worry, I’ll charge it to your credit card,” I say, walking for the door.

He chuckles at my sassy remark and I ignore the sound, closing the door and letting out a harsh breath. I seriously need to work on myself, as a human being, because if just the sound of his laughter has my heart tripping then I am in seriously trouble.