Kim

I’m walking on air as I sneak into mama and daddy’s house at five in the morning, intending to pack my shit, go home and then get my ass to work. I feel as if I have a new lease on life and to crown it all off, I am sexually sated and feeling…good.

I haven’t felt this good in a long time, not since I first started having sex and my first real boyfriend, Tobias, gave me multiple orgasms. What Sully made me feel all through yesterday and throughout the night was, is out of this world.

God, I already miss the man and I’ve only just left him, I think smiling as I creep upstairs in bare feet with my heels dangling from my fingertips. I almost come out of my skin when I sneak into my room and the light turns on.

“Well, this is a fine time to come on home!”

“Mama! God help me you scared me near to death,” I gasp, taking in the curlers in her hair and the pink house robe with a baleful eye.

“Scared you to death? I should beat your ass, Kimberly Georgia Brady. I stayed up all night worrying,” she sniffs making me roll my eyes because that is not true.

Mama goes to bed at ten sharp and wakes up at four every single morning, rain or shine, hot or cold. She’s like a vampire only her drug of choice is making us all miserable by waking us.

“Oh please, you probably woke up at four and came in here to torment me,” I mutter, dropping onto the bed with a huff.

Mama likes to talk at this time in the morning and apparently now that I’m here she takes pity on dad and lets him sleep later. I don’t mind all that much because I wake up at four anyway, have almost all my life.

I usually go back to sleep around five and wake again at six, just a little power nap unless I’m hungover, then I can sleep for hours to regroup.

“I came in here to gossip, but you weren’t here! Did you hear Luanne’s in the hospital?”

“What? Why?” I gasp, leaning in to get the gossip because I like gossip.

Mama smirks, and I can feel my nerves shaking when she leans closer and pats her curlers, looking around, for what I don’t know since the only people here are me and her and my dad who’s probably comatose.

“She got the runs. Bad. So bad she soiled the bed and Jimbo had to clean her up but then she started puking, and he panicked and took her to the emergency. She has food poisoning. I think it’s from that funky deer they butchered, but she insists it wasn’t. Anyway, she’s in the hospital so now Jimbo’s gonna stay over for a few nights just until she’s back home.”

Thank you, Jesus, I’m leaving!

I get up to start packing without bothering to say anything, and I hear mama laugh before she sighs and comes over to help me.

“Jack says you went over to see Sully yesterday. It went well?” she asks, waggling her eyebrows.

I snort because mama is a pervert and she’d have me here all day demanding details. You’d think she’d be horrified, I am her daughter, but the woman loves talking about sex. It’s about the only thing that makes her emotional.

You wanna know where Bay comes from? She’s all mama but with a silent temper where mama goes nuclear.

“It went…well. I think. We hooked up in a casual sort of way that doesn’t put pressure on us. We’re…trying,” I say stiltedly, not knowing what else to say because there isn’t much else.

We’re giving things a shot.

That’s about all I can tell her.

“Trying what?” she demands, huffing when she finds my vibrator.

Like I care. Mama has one of her own that I shudder to even think about because her and dad…yeah, no.

“We’re going to see where it goes.”

“Where what goes? Hell’s bells, Kimberly, what’s there to think about? That boy’s been eye stalking you since you were sixteen years old, girl. He wants you, and from the possessive way he watched you all night at Dee’s wedding I’d lay odds he’s got more in him for you than just lust. He loves you,” she says, muttering when I continue to shove clothes into a bag and ignore her.

Yeah, I kinda get that he loves me! The man told me that straight off the bat yesterday. It’s why I fell over the edge I’ve been teetering on with him. I want more from a relationship than just sex.

Don’t ever tell anyone this but I’m a lover at heart. Sure, I really enjoy seeing other people suffer, I mean it’s fun, but all in all, I really like having love and companionship along with orgasms.

So yeah, I like…I love Sully in this weirdly optimistic way that screams danger but also makes me happy. I think. Look, what do I know? I haven’t ever loved anyone, so it’s not like I have a fucking roadmap here.

I know that I care and I want and, Jesus, the sex is reaaaally good. Like I came three times in one session just from having his dick in me.

“Mama, mind your own business.”

“Hell no! You’re my last hope for Bayou. I just know that if you fall in love and manage to sucker Sully into actually marrying you that I won’t have to worry about that crazy ass sister of yours slinking around here when she’s an old lady making my life creepy,” she croaks, her laughter setting me off because it’s true!

I think of Bay in terms of that scary old reclusive witch in horror movies. The one who has pale white skin and slinks around the forest killing strangers.

I cannot see Bay ever getting married, the woman is too shut off, but if mama is right and she sees hope, then I can sigh and see hope too. Maybe. I mean I am feeling really good today so maybe it’s just sex brain fuzzing up my mind.

“We’ll see, Mama. I only went to him yesterday so it’s still early days. Give me a chance.”

“You better not do anything to hurt that boy, Kimberly. He’s not as tough as he seems,” she warns, shoving my vibrator into the bag and rolling her eyes. “I hope to God Sully is hung better than that pencil dick. Your daddy–”

“I’m leaving!” I yell, cutting her off and grabbing my bag to run for the stairs.

I hear her laughter all the way to the car and find myself smiling as I pull out and head home, really glad I didn’t agree to rent my place to the druggie cop who I met in the store the other day.

It would have served Bay right to have a hopped up popo next door, but honestly, I would rather peel my toenails off with a tweezer than inhabit the same space as Jimbo. The man lets off gas wherever he goes, and that damn roadkill they consume makes it potent.

 

*****

 

“Spill,” Jack barks the minute I walk through the door and into the reception area at Rainbows, the wedding planning business Jack started a little while back that has been doing a booming trade since we opened the doors.

We plan weddings in a week or less, our own version of a consensual shotgun wedding that has gone down a treat with rich folks the county over.

Apparently, it is now the in thing to see who can plan and execute the perfect wedding the fastest, and trust me those rich bitches are competitive.

A few months back we had a wedding that took us two days to put together from the dress all the way down to the party favors the bride wanted to be shipped in from a little bakery in San Francisco.

How Jack pulled that one off is beyond me, but it was a true extravaganza that I still can’t believe was that perfect. I work here five days a week, sometimes six if Jack is willing to subject the brides to me on their wedding day.

“Kim!”

I ignore Jack and walk towards the coffee pot, getting myself a large cup and swiping two danishes before going into my office and sitting down to fire up my computer.

Jack’s been taking care of my side of things the last while, but I can catch up and I start now by pulling up the specs on this next wedding, getting a load of the monstrosity that is the bride and groaning when I read what she wants in a dress.

No way is that whale looking anywhere near good in a dress the chick from Twilight wore. Hell. I’ll have to hire a crane just to get her zipped in.

“Kimmy, I swear to God.”

“Oh, hold your tits, Jack, I just want to eat a danish, drink some coffee, and get my bearings before you start interrogating me,” I huff, scalding my tongue on the hot coffee with a frown and a curse.

When I’m ready, I sit back and tongue the danish while considering what I want to say to Jack. I so don’t want her getting involved in what is going on between Sully and me, but I won’t lie outright. Hhhmm, decisions.

“We talked yesterday, and no, he did not divulge any confidential bro code type conversations, so you can tell that nosy ass alter ego of yours to chill.”

She looks disappointed, the way I felt because I had intended to grill the hell out of him. I tried but he just shoved my legs back, put his mouth on me and made me scream. Then he told me to mind my own business before making me come again.

Lesson learned. I should totally get him to do that again by asking the man questions.

“And Cord?” she presses, sucking at her index finger the way she always does when she’s nervous.

“He didn’t tell me specifics, but I think him an Cord had a falling out about me.”

“Shit! That’s what I thought. Cord was pissed at him because of Dee’s wedding,” she groans, slumping in her chair while eyeing my second danish.

Bitch will lose a hand if she even tries.

“Jack, I don’t know what happened between them, but I can tell you Sully is not doing well. He’s tried to call Cord for the last few days and he gets nothing. They need to talk. Cord is like his brother.”

“I know that! Don’t you think I know that? Cord only listens to Dolly Parton when he’s down in the dumps. I hate Dolly, Kim! I hate her. I never, ever wanna hear her bluegrass yodel again. You gotta help me,” she wails, covering her eyes dramatically and lying back in the chair.

“Christ, this pregnancy really must be a demon because you are all wrong,” I mutter, dropping my chin into my hands.

“I don’t even know if I am yet. I can’t take a test until I tell Cord because if I don’t tell him and leave him out again, this time he really will leave me. And I can’t tell him until he’s feeling better,” she whines, making me grin because it is so fake.

Jack does not do real sadness well. The week she was supposed to be on her honeymoon with Felix–who jilted her if you can’t remember–she cried, and ate ice-cream, and drank apple sours while floating in her pool in her wedding dress.

She was a hot mess.

That’s how you know Jack is sad, she gets gross.

Right now, she’s glowing and radiant and making me want to laugh myself silly.

“Has it occurred to you that maybe you can use this to get Cord out of the dumps?” I muse, chuckling when she darts up and turns in a circle, her excitement making her dizzy before she stops, starts dancing on the spot and yells, tally ho!

She leaves without even thanking me for my brilliance, ungrateful prostitute, and runs out of the office like her fat ass is on fire.

“She looked happy. Nice way to distract her from the blatantly obvious.”

I groan, rubbing my brow when Bay sidles in and drops into a seat, her dead eyes focused on me like two soulless spotlights. Observant bitch.

“She is happy because I told her that maybe telling Cord she may be pregnant would get him back into the swing of things.”

“And Sully?”

I grin, wickedly, recalling the hummer I gave him–by the way, he sorely regretted turning me down before after the way I did him–and I know that Sully is completely fine. I made sure he was too exhausted to even think sad thoughts.

“He is great.”

She tries to smirk, but the movement makes her mouth look like two contending slashes of meat, and I shiver and cross myself, making her grunt. That’s her laugh by the way.

“So, you’re with Sully?”

“Weeell,” I hum, considering my answer in a way that Bay will understand. “We’re seeing each other. Seeing where things go.”

“Seeing where thing go? Kim, they went to a bed–”

“The kitchen, the dining room, the shower, the porch,” I trill, clenching my legs together to keep my vagina in check.

“You’re a whore but I love you, and you know that’s not what I was going to say. You already slept with him and if that slutty smile you’re wearing is anything to go by it was good. The man loves you. What’s to ‘see’?” she asks, grabbing the little piece of danish right out of my hand and shoving it into her mouth.

I’d attack her but Bay is feral, I already told you, she bites when she’s cornered. And not cornered.

“And I think I love him, but that isn’t everything, Bayou,” I say angrily, my temper rising when she just looks at me without saying anything.

“Bay, I can’t just jump into this, feet first, and not consider everything! What if I really, really love Sully and he stops wanting me? I’ve thought about this over and over again, and I can’t just forget that he’s a playboy. The man turned me down, hopped into bed with another woman the next night, and he isn’t exactly what I would call constant. All his relationships have been open, as in he still sees other people even if he’s with a woman. I’d kill him with mama’s shotgun if he ever cheated on me.”

Which is possible. More than possible. Not that I don’t trust Sully, but really, I do not trust anyone. I sleep with my door locked at home because I don’t trust my own parents not to shave my head while I’m sleeping.

Do you understand me now?

“Kimmy, the last time a guy stepped out on you he woke up with hot sauce on his balls and the water cut off,” she muses, making me laugh and bite my lips.

It’s true, I decided one month to try the whole boyfriend thing, and I was so super good at it, well as good as I could be, and I came across the asshole having coffee with another girl when I went to get lunch at the Badger.

I didn’t say a thing because really, sometimes silent revenge has more impact. I spiked his nightcap with a little herbal sedative, got out a bottle of super-hot and touched him sweetly until every soft inch of his nuts were saturated.

The sedative was mild so he didn’t sleep very long, not after that sauce started making itself known. He was an explosive force when he jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, and you shoulda seen his face when he turned on the faucet and nothing came out.

It still makes me laugh remembering his dash to the fridge where the only liquid I left was mayonnaise and lemon juice. Bay still looks like she might laugh every time I tell her that story, describing in detail what it looks like to see a man dip his nuts in a jar of mayonnaise.

Priceless.

“Bay, let’s just chill with the analyzing, okay. For now, I am totally happy to just be with Sully. Let me muddle through it alone.”

She snorts and nods, and in those two actions I know that I am so screwed. No way, no how, am I getting through anything with even a semblance of privacy.